A few folks have asked what we’re doing to prepare Clara for a younger sibling, beyond getting her a baby boy doll when we found out it was a boy in there (she still has a deep love for Captain Barnacles – more on him here and here).
Mostly we have just been chatting with her about how she’s going to be a big sister and she seems really excited to “give him bottles and change his diapers and carry him *like this* and share my toys.” We’ve also tried to involve her in fun activities for him, like letting her pick out a stuffed toy for him (she chose one with a mustache)…
… and assembling furniture for his nursery together.
We’ve also been reading a few books on the “new baby” subject to her, namely these:
I’m A Big Sister – This is a great one for specifically highlighting the cool things about being the older sibling. So it mentions some things big kids can do (push the stroller, help to change a diaper) and although the babies have it pretty good (being pushed and coddled) there’s a great page about the big sister getting ice cream, but babies can’t have ice cream. As strange as it sounds, it probably sums up a lot of the envy that older kids might have for the younger ones who get a lot of attention, and points out some fun things that bigger kids can do that babies can’t.
You Were The First – This one is so sweet that it makes me cry every time. I really want Clara to know how loved she is, and we know she’s bound to feel our focus shift a little when we bring home her brother, so this is a nice way that I can remind her that she’ll always be my special girl. It just chronicles all the things that happen when you bring home a new baby and reminds the child you’re reading it to that you did all those sweet things with them first.
The Berenstain Bears’ New Baby – John and I joke that this should be called “The Berenstain Bears Build A Bed” because the storyline is a lot more about the transition for big brother from his small bed to a big one (and then his little sister is born and gets his small one). In fact, brother’s out in the woods with papa when Momma actually has the baby, so his little sister just magically appears at home halfway through the book. But Clara seems to love it, especially the part where the little sister punches her big brother in the nose. Seriously, that happens and it cracks her up.
So there are three adorable “sibling on the way” books that we’ve enjoyed. Do you guys have others you’d recommend? We’d love to check them out!
Beth says
My mom told me before my younger brother was born that I was going to have a new brother to play with. After he was born and they brought him home and set him in his carrier on the floor, and I walked up to him and said, “Alright. Get up. Let’s play.”
Obviously he wasn’t quite ready for that. So maybe warn her that he won’t be super exciting at first. But he will be loads of fun later. :)
Young House Life says
So funny!
xo
s
Ginny says
Awwww, I remember reading “I’m a Big Sister” to my daughter before her brother was born. We read it so.many.times. LOL!
kim says
Where did you find the boy doll? I’m 22 weeks and while we’ve been talking to our son about his baby brother I think a doll would help explain things better.
Young House Life says
We struck out at Target and Toys R Us, but then hit another (bigger) Toys R Us and they had one!
xo
s
Sarah says
We got the “Corolle Mon Premier Calin Sky Baby Doll” for my son before his baby brother arrived: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004LE7ESW/ref=oh_details_o05_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Young House Life says
So cute!
xo
s
Jo @ To a Pretty Life says
When I was barely pregnant with my son, my daughter Juliana, at 17 months old and barely walking, toddled over to the bookshelf at a consignment store and picked out “I’m a Big Sister.” It was perfect, so we bought it. Throughout my pregnancy, we read it to her, replacing “Ellie” with “Juli”, so she could really connect with the story and her baby brother-to-be. After he was born, we still read it, replacing “Baby” with “Nico”.
Jo @ To a Pretty Life says
And now, 5 years later, I can probably still recite the whole book ;-)
Young House Life says
So sweet!
xo
s
HeatherM says
This is great. Now I just need a way to prepare my two dogs (aka my four-legged babies) for the arrival of their first human sibling. Unfortunately there is no way to prepare dogs that “you won’t have first dibs on mom’s lap anymore, and mom and dad still love you even though they have to hold the baby a lot. Also, if you dogs bark and wake the baby up, mom and dad wIll not be pleased.”
Tiffany says
On Healthy Tipping Point (a blog) the girl used a doll to teach the dogs that they couldn’t jump up on the baby or bite the baby.
I’ve heard of people using a bit of water in a plant sprayer (just one spritz) to stop a dog from barking so that they learn that if they bark the get sprayed and they usually stop barking for the most part.
Sarah says
Thank you for this!! We are expecting our second baby on Labor Day, and our current baby is just 16-months. I keep looking at her and saying, “how are you going to be a big sister, you are still my baby?!”
I will have to get these to read to her… keep the tips coming!!
Michelle says
Awww! My little bro and I were 18 months apart. From the time we were toddlers until we were mid-teens, everyone thought we were fraternal twins.
emily hassman says
Oh gosh, I had that Berenstain Bears New Baby book when I was little! Maybe that’s why I always wanted younger siblings. ;)
Important question: do you pronounce it Bear-en-stain or Bear-en-steen or some other way? I’ve always said Bear-en-steen, but, umm… I think I’m probably wrong.
Young House Life says
Yes! I say “steen” too! I think I thought it was actually spelled “Berensteen” until this year when we broke out my childhood books of his and I noticed the spelling! Thought it was a typo at first!
xo
s
Stephanie says
Clara’s probably too old for this book, but it’s great for younger to-be big siblings. “Everywhere Babies” – it’s a board book that includes really great information about how babies are different and how parenting differs. My 22 month old loves it (but she’s crazy, so no way are we having a third!).
The other one, which is really sweet, is “Baby Dear”. It’s vintage, and probably a little dated, but it’s about how a little girl gets a baby doll the day her new sister comes home from the hospital.
Victoria says
2 books that I highly recommend are Julius, the Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes and Baby on the Way by Martha Sears and William Sears. Julius is the baby brother that Lily tries her hardest to get rid of. Love triumphs in the end. It is so cute and funny. Baby on the way explains how mommy feels and shows mommy nursing the baby. Love both these books!!
Annie says
Yes, Yes, Yes to Julius, the Baby of the World. The best part is about how “BEFORE Julius was born, Lily was the best big sister in the word, after it was a different story.”
Which really helps a big girl like Clara be prepared that here feelings now might change when the baby is born!
It’s also generally hilarious (Lily tries to warn pregnant woman of the doom that is coming her way, and deliberately teaches Julius the alphabet is just the “perfect” way: “A,B,C,T,M,G,L”
Young House Life says
So funny! Can’t wait to check it out!
xo
s
Stacy says
This is a good book too http://www.amazon.com/What-Needs-Sears-Children-Library/dp/0316788287
Sam says
If you want a good momma cry, here are some super touching books for mommies of boys: “I’ll Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch and “Mama Says” by Rob D. Walker.
Leslie says
I’m a children’s librarian, and like to recommend “My Heart is a Magic House” by Julie Jacobs. It explains how there’s always enough love to go around for the entire family. I also love “Julius, the Baby of the World” by Kevin Henkes, which another poster mentioned.
Hilary says
Though we are not expecting any more babies, a library book both my kids (3 & 4) liked is “Don’t Eat The Baby!” by Amy Young. It is about a big brother who is not sure if he likes his baby brother (cause babies are boring). But he gets really worried when he hears all the adults saying that the baby is cute enough to eat, so he “rescues” the baby.
And talking about tearing up while reading children’s books – I think we are starting to read more emotionally charged books at our house, because this has happened a lot to me recently. I could barely get through The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. And we are trying out chapter books with the Little House on the Prairie series and there have been several times I’ve had to take a “coughing” break. There is something about reading it out loud, it seems to affect me more.
Jessica says
We’re also expecting – I’m due in June with a baby boy, who will be welcomed by his 2-year-old big sister.
I definitely just teared up reading your description of the book “You Were the First.” I feel like that’s my greatest fear with the new baby, too. We adore our little girl and always want her to know how special she is to us. I’m not sure I’d make it through the book if the title alone sets me off. Pregnancy hormones…
Michelle says
Another Berenstain Bears book that’s we liked is The Berenstain Bears and Baby Makes Five. It’s about how Sister is adjusting to having a new baby in the house, and how Brother had to do the same when she was a baby. Might be a good one for a couple of months down the road after the baby’s born.
Kristin F says
I feel like I need to go get that “You were the first” book for my 15 year old daughter! She has recently made comments about her younger brother being the “favorite”, and getting all the attention. What she fails to admit is that he’s getting all NEGATIVE attention from us!! :)
Michelle says
Yeah… but attention is attention.
My younger brother was not a great student, and I was, and got in trouble a lot, and I didn’t… and I always struggled with being the one who the focus didn’t need to be on.
Not to say you’re doing anything wrong at ALL! I can just relate to her teenage-feels.
Kim says
Okay this isn’t a book but when my baby brother was born and my neighbor took me to the hospital to meet him, there was a little gift waiting for me “from” my new brother. It seems like such a little thing but obviously it left an impact :) looking back now it’s just as special because it I know that my parents were still thinking of me even at that crazy time.
Young House Life says
Sweet! Love all the tips guys! Thanks for sharing!
xo
s
Carolyn Williams says
We got our 19 month old daughter a baby doll and stroller that was waiting at home. It was from the baby. It’s her absolute favorite toy these days… not sure if that’s because it’s from her sister, or just cool to have her own baby. This is a great idea, for sure!
meta says
Our daughter loved “The New Baby (Usborne First Experiences)”. And we also love “The World is Full of Babies” by Mick Manning. The latter is not really for big sister/brother thing, but it gives really good description about animals babies, which I bet Clara would like! Congratulations!
Maha says
When I was pregnant with my second, it was important for me to find a “new baby” book that showed breastfeeding in some form, because I knew that was going to be a huge part of our lives for awhile, and I needed by then-2.5-year old to understand that I’d be spending a lot of time just sitting and nursing the baby. The only one that I found was by William & Martha Sears and titled _What Baby Needs_. I also like that it talked about how a lot of the special attention that baby gets were things that the older siblings also got when they were babies, and it talks about how the older sibling will get to spend a lot of time with the dad because the mom will have to be with the baby a lot, but that there will also be times when the older sibling can spend one-on-one time with mom.
Sarah says
We read “what baby needs” with my kiddo too, who turned 4 just before his brother arrived. He was also very interested in the biology of how the baby got in there, and was growing, and “how you were born” by Joanna Cole and “It’s not the stork” by Robie Harris were both helpful. Also, “a child is born” is a book of very cool photos including some in utero, from conception to delivery. It is not a kids book, but he was fascinated to look at the photos, and it was helpful to make the whole process seem more “real” (as the other books have cartoon illustrations).
Susan says
We always tell our oldest that she made us a family and our youngest that she completed our family- both equally important but different roles!
Young House Life says
That’s adorable!
xo
s
Sarah00Bird says
My boys are 2 years and 13 hours apart. When we were expecting our second, we got him a baby boy doll, similar to the one you got Clara, did the whole book thing, and got him an I’m the big brother shirt. We got the baby doll hoping when someone else was holding the baby he could hold his and feel a part of something. Needless to say, my parents brought him to the hospital to see his new baby brother and my father was sitting in the chair holding the baby and my oldest tried to push him from his Grandpa’s arms! We also moved 2 weeks after our youngest was born so our lives were in turmoil! Good luck to all of you!!!
Cheryl says
A great book to make you sniffle is “Let Me Hold You a While Longer” by Karen Kingsbury. Not so much for transitioning kids to be older siblings, rather enjoying all of their firsts and their lasts (like the last day of kindergarten). Parents don’t generally think about the last because it happens and you often don’t know it is the last ( I don’t remember changing my daughter’s last diaper for example). A reminder of how fast they grow and to enjoy every minute.
Becky says
Not specifically a new-sibling book, but I adore All the Places to Love by Patricia MacLachlan. It’s about family traditions and everyone’s favorite place on the farm, but when the main character and his grandpa are in the barn waiting for the baby sister to be born, and the grandpa cries & carves her name in the beam alongside everyone else’s, it’s all I can do to hold it together in front of my students. In the end, the boy thinks of all the places he’ll show his sister. It’s a must-read…if not for Clara, then for you!
Jen says
Julius, TheBaby of The Worldby Kevin Henkes is really cute. It is about a big sister mouse who is jealous of her baby brother and then becomes his best friend and protector. Very sweet.
Kate W. says
My son was 3.5 when my daughter was born. While I was still in the hospital, my husband took him to get flowers for his sister. They bought a dozen pink roses for her. He was so proud of them sitting on our table when we arrived home and showed every visitor. He helped me pick one out when they were dying to hang upside down to dry out. He checked on it everyday. We still have that rose in her keepsake box along with the card he signed. My daughter just turned 7 and they are the best of friends (most of the time!).
Congrats on the Bun!
Young House Life says
That’s so sweet! Love all the stories and suggestions guys!
xo
s
Carolyn Williams says
My daughter really loves this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Sister-Joanna-Cole/dp/0061900621
Pretty much every book makes me sniffly these days. Have you read “Rosie Revere, Engineer?” Amazing book for little girls (and little boys) that I can’t get through without crying.
Wendy O. says
We have “I’m a New Big Sister” – which sounds very similar to your description of the “I’m a Big Sister” book. My daughter loved that book before our son was born, and she still loves it today (she’s 3.5 and he’s 1.5). She’s so proud of that book, and the fact that she’s helped with so many things the book talked about.
The other thing we did was enroll her in swimming lessons – it was her “daddy and me” time while mommy was home with the baby. It got her out of the house and gave her some good one-on-one time. I took her on a few “dates” as well while daddy stayed home with the baby.
We had no sibling issues…until he got old enough to start taking away her toys. ;)
Meghan says
We read “there is a house inside my mummy” it’s super cute book! My favourite line in it is “daddy says we have to be patient because the door is kinda tight”. The berenstein bears book was read a lot too!!
Jana says
This one is not for sibling prep but oh will it make you cry!
http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-Are-Love-Will/dp/1250017971
Katie H says
Aw man….I’m pregnant with my first and hormonal and this post made me cry. Oh well!!!!
MMingo says
The Berenstain Bears! My younger brother had every single one of those and had to have at least one read to him every night. Ahhh the memories :)
We don’t have kidlets yet so no advice for you yet! But it sure sounds like you got this in the bag! Best of luck :)
mary says
this isn’t a book, but when my sisters were born i attended a “big sister” program put on by the hospital. we mostly read books and talked about babies and how they were different. i think we also toured the maternity ward, which made me feel special after my sisters were born (i could lead the way!) i really have fond memories of that class :)
Young House Life says
So sweet!
xo
s
Laeci says
I have a two-year-old and I’m three months pregnant, and I just READ THE TITLE “You Were the First” and started tearing up.
Liz t says
Great move! We did the same thing & it really helped.
Get ready for some great quotes from Clara. The first time my then-22-month-old daughter saw me nurse my son she stared with a horrified look on her face & then asked, “eat the nipple!?” :)
Young House Life says
Bahaha!
xo
s
Kelly O. says
Our favorite is… ‘Angel in the Waters’ by Regina Doman. I first read it when I was expecting our first baby and cried in the bookstore! I get it for all my new mom friends and for big brother or sister, if the family already has kids. You will be so happy to read it- definitely a beautiful alternative to the typical baby story books out there! Kids connect with the story like you wouldn’t believe… Amazing.
jennifer i says
We had a special present to give my oldest the day the new brother came home that was from the baby. Created immediate, good feelings to associate with the new baby, and he was too busy with his new train to feel left out!
Young House Life says
Love all the tips and book ideas guys! Thanks!
xo
s
Lindsey says
God Gave Us You and God Gave Us Two…both so sweet!! Congrats on adding a new bundle to your family!
Christina Y says
I loved loved loved the book One Special Day by Lois Schaefer.
It’s about an older brother, but so so sweet. Nothing bratty nor any asking to send the baby back.
When the day finally came that I was in the hospital and my son (who was 2.9 at the time) was reading the book with my parents, he recognized that was his current experience.
He loved it. I loved it. It really was the perfect book for him, he’s a sweet, gentle kid.
Even though Clara is a sister, everything else in the book applies to her, and you could just change the words as necessary.
Kirstin says
I’m due mid-April with a little girl; my son just turned 3 last month.
We have the Mercer Meyer little critter new baby book. I want to get the Joanna Cole “I’m a Big Brother/Sister” book.
One that I haven’t seen mentioned (but I’ve just skimmed) is Joanna Cole’s “When You Were Inside Mommy.” It’s very sweet and explains pregnancy and childbirth in very simple terms. I love it because it puts the attention back on the older child but still gives them a frame of reference for what’s going on. It mentions both breast and bottle feeding, but only references a vaginal birth, not c-sections. The biggest (funny) downside is that my son learned that women have wombs. He was out on a bike ride with his dad and every time they passed a female jogger my son would point and loudly exclaim, “That lady has a WOMB!”
Young House Life says
So funny!
xo
s
Gloria says
I haven’t read through all the comments to see if these have been suggested yet or not, but God Gave Us You and God Gave Us Two are both really good books!!!!
Mandy A says
We love ‘Ma, there’s nothing to do here’. It is written from the baby’s perspective. Read it with my 2 year old before baby sister came but have read it even more now that baby is here. An adorable must have!
Alina says
So sweet! My little sister and I are close to the same age range Clara and the bun will be, and I still remember the “special days” one parent would take me on (just for a few hours to the library or for icecream or something). Clara’s going to love having a little brother! :)
Candice says
Read this one to all three of my boys, ‘Geraldine’s Baby Brother’. Cutest little piglet family, beautiful pictures, sweet story.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0590850563/ref=redir_mdp_mobile
ara jane says
we just had a new baby a few months ago and two favorites for our 2-1/2 year old are peter’s chair by ezra jack keats (who did the snowy day) and a baby sister for frances by russell and lillian hoban. i know both are about little sisters but they treat the addition of a new sibling in such a lovely and nuanced way. and if clara isn’t already familiar with frances (i loved the frances books when i was a kid) i’m pretty sure she will love her… she makes up little songs that are so sweet. our ingrid loves them!
Young House Life says
Thanks for all the ideas guys! You’re the best!
xo
s
Erin says
We had the big sister book and the new baby book too! My daughter lived both of them and even said “member mama, no ice cream for baby!” Soon after our son was born (they are 2 1/2 years apart). She actually loves the Berenstain Bears book so much that we still read on a weekly basis, even though her little brother is now almost 2!
Laura says
Oh!! I love children’s stories. I now have an 18 month old little boy, and love reading stories to him (and he loves it too – yay!). I am the older sister, and like Clara I was almost 4 years old (short by 2 weeks) when my baby brother was born. And I absolutely adored him!!! Told my mom he was a living doll just for me!! We’re still close to this day. I had two books that I LOVED that helped me with welcoming our newest, smallest family member (and I hope to share with my son if/when we expand our family) – Little Rabbit’s Baby Brother by Fran Manushkin, which is about a bunny girl who’s little brother is coming soon, and she’s not sure how she feels about it – a fitting book for big sisters with little brothers on the way. I also really loved Little Duck and the New Baby, by Stephanie Calmenson, in which Little Duck feels jealous of his new baby sister, until he realizes how much she enjoys him. Oh! I also wanted to share that I also received a few small “big sister” gifts from close family friends, and I remember feeling so special. As a big sister to a little brother (whom I wanted to name Tree), I am so excited for Clara. :)
Quick side note (ok maybe not quick) – I have never posted before, but I have been reading your blog every week since my mom told me about it in 2011, and I just have to say I love, love your site!!! And I’m so ridiculously happy for all four of you and your growing family… to five!!! Sherry, I hope you feel better, well, yesterday. You are brave, amazing and inspiring.
Young House Life says
Thanks so much Laura! You’re so sweet!
xo
s
Kathy says
Love this post! Some great ones we know is The new baby by Mercer Mayer, On mothers lap by Ann Herbert Scott – this one is a tear jerker, Babies don’t eat pizza by Dianna Danzig and Alligator baby by Robert Munsch.
We also loved reading Oh Baby the places you’ll go by Dr.Seuss to the little bean when I was pregnant. – the spinoff off of Oh the places you’ll go – another tear jerker.
Tiffany says
I’m sure if this book has been recommended nut “The House of Joyful Living” bu Roni Schotter is pretty good read. the discription of the book on the back is:
“High on the roof of an apartment building is a garden where neighbors come to laugh, to dance, and to share – stories of helping others, breakfasts of challah and herring, and, once a summer, a Roof Party! Surrounded by loving adults, a girl with cabbage curls feels she lives “on top of the world – in paradise.” But something is about to change. Mama’s belly is growing bigger – and bigger! Can the girl share her mama and papa, and her wonderful rooftop world, with a new baby?”
i didn’t read it to my daughter (shes 5) until after my baby got here, about 6 months. She got it as a Christmas present because my cousin knew she was having a hard time adjusting. She started getting jealous of her new baby brother having most of my attention all day even though i try to involve her in everything ( getting diapers and wipes, holding the wipes, playing peek-a-boo etc…)
When ever she starts getting jealous now i just read her the book and explain that the little girl in the book is afraid her Mommy and Daddy wont have time for her. However, no matter what, her Mommy and Daddy will always love her.
i wouldn’t read it to a little girl before hand, i would be scared to implant feelings she doesn’t need before the baby comes unless shes already starting to get bit by the jealousy bug.
Young House Life says
So smart!
xo
s
Courtney says
You might want to get “What Baby Needs,” by Dr. Sears. I know you’re planning to breastfeed, and this is the only book (of ALL the big brother/big sister books we looked at) that showed babies nursing rather than getting bottles. It’s a little attachment parenting-heavy (lots of baby carrying and some co-sleeping), but it does talk a lot about how the baby will need love and care *just like the older sibling did when they were little*, which our son liked a lot.
There’s also the Little Critter “The New Baby” book, because Little Critter is always a classic :)
I think your two little ones will be about the same age difference as mine, and it’s great. Best of luck!
carolyn says
So excited for you guys! This is such a sweet time for your family.
The number one thing we did (that really helped) was to continually include our daughter in the “ownership” of the new baby. We would refer to him as “her baby” and include her in discussions about him so that she felt 100% part of the TEAM that was bringing a new baby into the family. She was only 3 years old but she totally got it.
Also, I had separate date nights for the two of us (my daughter and I) that were really special. Usually just hanging at Barnes and Noble with some hot cocoa but I never cancelled – even when I was sooooo tired.
:)
Young House Life says
That’s really sweet! Love these ideas guys!
xo
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