A few folks have asked what we’re doing to prepare Clara for a younger sibling, beyond getting her a baby boy doll when we found out it was a boy in there (she still has a deep love for Captain Barnacles – more on him here and here).
Mostly we have just been chatting with her about how she’s going to be a big sister and she seems really excited to “give him bottles and change his diapers and carry him *like this* and share my toys.” We’ve also tried to involve her in fun activities for him, like letting her pick out a stuffed toy for him (she chose one with a mustache)…
… and assembling furniture for his nursery together.
We’ve also been reading a few books on the “new baby” subject to her, namely these:
I’m A Big Sister – This is a great one for specifically highlighting the cool things about being the older sibling. So it mentions some things big kids can do (push the stroller, help to change a diaper) and although the babies have it pretty good (being pushed and coddled) there’s a great page about the big sister getting ice cream, but babies can’t have ice cream. As strange as it sounds, it probably sums up a lot of the envy that older kids might have for the younger ones who get a lot of attention, and points out some fun things that bigger kids can do that babies can’t.
You Were The First – This one is so sweet that it makes me cry every time. I really want Clara to know how loved she is, and we know she’s bound to feel our focus shift a little when we bring home her brother, so this is a nice way that I can remind her that she’ll always be my special girl. It just chronicles all the things that happen when you bring home a new baby and reminds the child you’re reading it to that you did all those sweet things with them first.
The Berenstain Bears’ New Baby – John and I joke that this should be called “The Berenstain Bears Build A Bed” because the storyline is a lot more about the transition for big brother from his small bed to a big one (and then his little sister is born and gets his small one). In fact, brother’s out in the woods with papa when Momma actually has the baby, so his little sister just magically appears at home halfway through the book. But Clara seems to love it, especially the part where the little sister punches her big brother in the nose. Seriously, that happens and it cracks her up.
So there are three adorable “sibling on the way” books that we’ve enjoyed. Do you guys have others you’d recommend? We’d love to check them out!
Eliza says
When I was pregnant for the second time, we bought “I’m a Big Brother” (on clearance rack at B&N-yes!) and the Berenstain Bears book too. I’m a firm believer in using books to help facilitate discussions about new experiences and transitions! Have you read The Kissing Hand (or Pocket Full of Kisses)? I doubt you’ll need it for Clara, but it is about how an older brother raccoon questions whether his Mama still loves him as much after his baby brother is born. It’s a sweet reminder for kids that parents’ hearts just get bigger to make room for a new sibling…
Young House Life says
Sounds really sweet!
xo
s
Amanda K says
A few things that helped my kids when he became a big brother and big sister were:
we showed pictures of mommy in the hospital holding him when he was a baby and talked about how he would get to come visit there and see his new baby sister. (most likely big kids haven’t been to the hospital since they were babies and it could be scary for them.)
make sure to discuss that mommy will have to stay in the hospital for a few days after the baby is born and let your big kid know who will be watching them while you are at the hospital.
we reminded him that it is ok to kiss babies feet but that you can’t touch his hands because the baby could put their hands in their mouth and get sick. also we talked about how babies have a soft spot on their head so we have to be very gentle.
if you have a c-section you may want to remind your big kid that mommy’s tummy might be sore and to be gentle. (when i got home my big kids wanted to crawl all over me when i was laying down and i had to remind them to be gentle with their snuggles)
Best wishes and prayers for a safe delivery and healthy baby.
Young House Life says
Great tips!!
xo
s
Laura says
One of our favorite books to read to our daughter prior to our son’s arrival was “God Gave us Two”. Two years after her brother’s arrival, she still loves me to read it to her. Congratulations! Clara will be a wonderful big sister.
Kathryn says
I adored the (creatively titled, it seems) The New Baby, but by Ruth Shane NOT the Little Critter book. This one was a Golden Book (Oh, Golden Books. My heart swells…). Clearly it was meant for my sister and not for me (I’m the familial caboose), but I still really liked it. I seem to remember a strong component being about sorting out the nursery. Possibly another bed-building tome!
Andrea D says
My son is 13 months old and his big sister still requests her “big sissa” (I’m A Big Sister- same one as you have) book almost every night!
Chesley says
My Brother and I, by PK Hallinan, is a wonderful, wonderful book and I highly recommend it for you guys. We read it evey night now that our son is here (our daughter is 4, he is 1) and my daughter has it memorized and it warms our hearts. Precious, sweet, wonderful book.
Deanna says
Get your freezer ready with ice cream! Lennox loved the Big Brother version of that book and often reminded us he could have pizza, apples and ice cream. And for special moments, he got it. Its a great book and such a great way to prepare them. Clara is going to be an awesome big sister anyways :)
Becky says
Even though I am the baby I LOVED reading “Baby Sister for Herry” that my parents bought my brother when I was born. It helped me understand the feelings that my brother must have gone through when I first arrived. I still have it and will continue to hold onto it just in case I have multiple children. Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Sister-Herry-Sesame-Street-Growing-Up/dp/0307120112
Sarah Miller says
My oldest loved “Me and My Brother” by Mercer Mayer. It describes all the ways the brothers will play and hang out in a really rosy way, while the pictures show a little more of the tension that actually happens. At the end you find out that the brother is still a baby and Little Critter is just anticipating it all. Clara’s an older sister, but it’s still a fun book that she would enjoy and that would help her imagine how things will be as they grow up together.
nichole says
I’m due early April and my girl will be turning 3 next month! we have been reading a TON of books about how babies grow, becoming a big sister, etc because my girl really enjoys reading and soaks all of that info in. Some of our faves are:
“I’m a big sister” by Joanna Cole (sounds exactly like #1 you mentioned) this is her favorite to quote and she has the whole book memorized.
“Hello Baby” by Jenni Overend which is about a home birth (we are planning a home birth) so this is helpful to explain what they might see if they are witnessing the birth.
“What Baby Needs” by William Sears. this one is longer but she still seems interested in more info. it goes more into depth about expectations and roles and gives discussion prompts.
“my new baby” by Rachel Fuller. I like how this one shows exaclty how a newborn is. lots of sleeping, nursing and shows them in a baby carrier (we are big on babywearing so it was nice to show pics closer to what we’ll actually be doing!)
Since we are planning a home birth and my daughter will be there (not sure if she’ll be actually watching or not) but we have watched a few youtube videos of home births and she LOVES them! she asks to watch them over and over and we have talked about what the umbilical cord is and everything which stemmed more from the videos than books. our fave video is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4E9JrotsWA
It shows the preparation of the family before, during and welcoming baby after the birth. It is absolutely beautiful and makes me cry every time! Hope these help! sorry for the novel, it’s been on my mind a lot!
Jennifer says
If you are planning to breastfeed I recommend “Best Milk” by Kate Carriers. It helps explain why/how mommy feeds the baby her “best” milk. Great illustrations too. I’m a nurse and I give it out to new parents all the time.
Terianne@fivejonesroad says
“I’m a Big Sister” by Joanna Cole
“The New Baby” by Mercer Mayer
“God gave us you”/”God gave us two” by Lisa Tawn Bergren
Lots of focus on how much cooler it is to be the first born and how lame babies are.
My daughter, Lilah, was really into being a big sister when her little brother, Vaughn, was a newborn (he’s now 10 months) but once he started doing more things, like crawling, I got lots of comments like “uh, yeah, so…I can do that, too”. I just told her he’s trying to be like her, and she needs to help him learn and she quickly changed her tune from mean girl to coach. It’s been pretty awesome watching her look out for him, and he loves her like crazy! Clara and the Barnacle are going to be best buds. Can’t wait to see what kind of shenanigans they get into.
Elena says
Someone suggested to me that I not be holding the baby when seeing my older child for the first time after the birth. I think it helped prevent initial resentment and jealousy. My arms were open to catch my older child who missed me while I was at the hospital and he could check out the new baby on his own terms. I plan to do the same when I have my third little one in March.
Young House Life says
Love all the tips guys! Thanks for sharing them!
xo
s
Christine says
I love the book, “All the Places to Love.” If it doesn’t make you teary, nothing will. It tells the story of both a, “firstling’s” birth, and about the next baby’s birth, and it’s a beautiful story.
Maybe you could tell Clara stories about how her uncles and aunts were once the, “new baby,” and now they are your and John’s best friends… how it can be hard to adjust now, but how this little baby will be her friend for life. How this little baby will be the one she shares these memories with when she’s a grown up.
I bet she does great, and that you guys will be great 2nd time parents all over again.
Audrey says
I didn’t read all the comments, but in case no one has suggested it yet, this book – Big Like Me – was great for us: http://www.amazon.com/Big-Like-Anna-Grossnickle-Hines/dp/0688083544
Erin says
So, I got the “I’m a Big Sister” book for my oldest when we were expecting our second child, and the funny thing is, now that the “baby” is now 2 (and even though we’re probably done having kids), she carries that book EVERYWHERE with her and asks me to read it to her, because she looooves all things related to babies. I think I’ve had to tape about every page thanks to her “love” of it.
Young House Life says
So cute!
xo
s
Ashley says
Love your blog! From looking at all your pictures on your blog and from following you on Instagram I can tell that Clara truly is a happy, cheerful, loving little girl. She is so sweet, and I don’t even know her! And the way she is so excited (again just from pics and all) about her little brother coming, I can tell she will do just fine! I have a daughter and son (and am pregnant with my third)and my daughter is a lot like Clara, very happy. She did great with the new baby and loved to help out. obviously reading books and talking to them a lot about what is going to happen helps A TON, but I think sometimes you just know everything is going to work out and it will all be ok and I think that about your family. I think Clara will do great!! And she will be the BEST big sister!
Young House Life says
Aw thanks Ashley! And everyone else who is sharing such helpful suggestions and stories!
xo
s
Sandra says
You two parents should read “Siblings Without Rivalry” ASAP. It really helps set the stage for making sure Clara still feels special and empowered, because there are a lot of things that she will want to do but won’t be able to (get undivided attention whenever she wants it, put blankets on the baby’s head, etc). It will also help you avoid the pitfals that naturally seem to occur when your bigger one suddenly seems SO BIG and so capable, when in reality a three or four year old is still a baby too.
Young House Life says
Someone else recommended that too! Will definitely check it out!
xo
s
Jane says
My favourite present for a child with a sibling on the way is ‘There’s a house inside my Mummy’ – a fabulous story! Also having a busy box to get out when Mum is feeding the baby with lots of special things in in – crayons, stickers, etc. My sister used this idea and loved it – only getting it out when big sis was not occupied. It was such a treat for her to have access to all these special things, helped when Mum couldn’t do what the big sis wanted her to do, and lessened the opportunities for her to get up to mischief cos Mum was busy!
cassidy says
Oh yes, my son loved the Berenstain Bears book when we were getting ready for baby sister to arrive. And of course, the best part of the book is when baby sister punches brother in the nose! There was a lot of re-enacting that part at our house once baby sister was born!
Sara says
I know you’re having a boy, but have you read “A Baby Sister for Frances”? Her rhyming is very cute.
Young House Life says
Sounds sweet. Love all the ideas everyone! Thanks for sharing!
xo
s
Amanda says
It’s not a really a sibling book, but “On the Night You Were Born” by Nancy Tillman is a good one!
Chelsea Wilson says
I have that Berenstain Bears book from when I became a big sister… over 27 years ago! My 2-year-old found it recently and we read it… and you’re right… it’s mostly about building a bed!
Leigh Spence says
For adoptive parents (particularly if your little one looks different from his/her parents), “A Mother for Choco” is my all-time favorite. Simple and sweet and full of animals of all types.
Young House Life says
Sounds really sweet!
xo
s
FRECKLES CHICK says
So my friend Jules got us the “You Were the First” book as a little joke a few months ago b/c the family looks like ours (we’re not expecting a second). After having a good laugh about it, we actually read it & it’s such a sweet sweet sweet story. Love that you have that one.
xoxo
PS. Ugh, sorry to hear you’re still experiencing morning sickness, gal. As if you’re not tired enough baking the bun & running after big sis.
Young House Life says
Aw thanks FC! You’re so sweet. And apparently we’ve been reading about your family every night. Haha! Clara loves you guys.
xo
s
Suzanne says
When our son was born, a friend of ours gave our daughter the book “Brand New Baby Blues.” It is very cute–one that we have read over and over! :)
http://www.amazon.com/Brand-New-Baby-Blues-Kathi-Appelt/dp/0060532335
Kim Wethe Rily says
We have that “I’m the Big Sister Book.”
And Samantha has been talking to Max through my belly since she knew there was something in there.
And even though they fight a lot nowadays, (age 7 and nearly 5) they are still each others best friends. We made a big deal about how SHE is the BIG SISTER and SHE is getting a brother.
Also, another idea I was told was when she comes in to see him, don’t be holding him. Have him in the bassinette and you can look at him together. (And if you let her hold him, be sure to be ready for her to be done quickly. Both my dad at age 2 and daughter at age 2 held their siblings for about 30 seconds and then tried to get up out of their chair, nearly dumping the baby on the floor.)
Young House Life says
Love that tip Kim! Thanks so much!
xo
s
Emily says
My little girl was 3 when I was pregnant with her little sister. She LOVED “Big Sisters are the Best” by Fran Manushkin.
Megan says
Not a book, but we found a parenting center that had a sibling class for brothers and sisters to be. Our 3 and 5 yo kids liked it before baby 3 was born last fall. Talked about helping what to expect and made a craft to show baby. I also recommend having the barnacle bring a present for Clara at the hospital when they meet. Has worked wonders for us both times we’ve added another kid. Also having Clara have a birthday party with a zero candle when the baby is born is fun. My kids loved planning what cake to make with nana and picking out the party decorations to have while we were at the hospital. Good luck.
Young House Life says
Really sweet!
xo
s
Sarah says
My daughter loved (still loves 15 months later) this one when my son was born. http://www.amazon.com/Sisters-Best-Fiction-Picture-Books/dp/1404872256
Anna says
All of the suggestions are so wonderful for new baby! A dear friend of mine sent me a book when we had our second. (Our daughter and son are 2 years apart). It’s called, “We’re Very Good Friends, My Sister and I,” by P.K. Hallinan. Our daughter now has 3 younger brothers and that is one of the kids’ favorites. It’s a good one for when they are a little older, I think. It might be worth putting on a list for someday. :)
Elaissa says
(Not sure if this has already been suggested)
My sister and I had “The Pain and the Great One” by Judy Blume – http://www.amazon.com/Pain-Great-Dell-Picture-Yearling/dp/0440409675
At one point we were both a “pain” and a “great one.”
This would be great when both your babies are older.
Young House Life says
I remember that book! Love it!
xo
s
Amelia Woodford says
i couldn’t go through all the comments and see if anyone already suggested ‘the new baby’ by mercer mayer? this one brings me back big time (just like the berenstain bears one). aria seems to like it :) especially with the mouse on every page!
Young House Life says
Forgot about that mouse! Love all the tips everyone. Thanks!
xo
s
Jessica says
Before his sister was born (just a few months ago), my three and a half year old son really liked “Hello, Baby” by Lizzy Rockwell. So much, in fact, that he wanted to name our baby “Eliza” like in the book. We also liked the Berenstain Bears and Mercer Mayer titles.
I also found that referring to the baby as ‘our baby’ really helped him feel included (and now he is quite possessive of her).
Congratulations!
Young House Life says
So cute!
xo
s
Rachel says
Seriously “101 Things to Do With a Baby” by Jan Ormerod is perfect. We still read it even though the “new” baby is almost 2.
Trini says
We loved- ‘There’s a house inside my mummy’
Katie says
I’m a librarian and just found out our 4 year old daughter will have a baby brother this summer, so of course I’ve been bringing home lots of books! I’m not sure if this was already mentioned, but she loves Hello in There!: A Big Sister’s Book of Waiting by Jo Witek.
Nicole says
I just came across this and it made me think of you guys! It’s a book about big sisters you can personalize to your own kid:
http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/custom-what-big-sister-does-best-book
Young House Life says
So cute!
xo
s
Molly says
We have the Berenstain Bears book too, and it’s been helpful our little boy a lot! Little brother isn’t here yet, but we’ve had a hard time convincing soon-to-be big brother that he should get a big boy bed. He’s always loved his crib, doesn’t sleep well anywhere else, and when I initially started talking to him about a big boy bed, he would get upset and tell me he didn’t want a big bed, he wanted his small bed. So the bears book helped a lot to say Look, small bear got a new big boy bed, don’t you want to get one too? Haven’t made the actual transition yet, but it’s been helpful in getting him excited about it. And I’ll definitely check out the other books you recommended!