We have a nursery update for you guys in the form of two new purchases that we brought home, assembled, and will now attempt to customize. After this planning post we pictured ourselves diving right into constructing our two custom built-ins to flank the crib, but then we realized that before we could actually start on those, we needed to make some decisions about what we wanted them to look like (base cabinets with doors and a bookcase top? lower cabinets with drawers instead? dressers that we could top with shelves and molding? tall armoire-ish things for each side of that wall?).
So after a lot of inspiration-room browsing and comparing measurements/product choices on a slew of cabinetry and furniture websites, we finally landed on something that we hope will be extremely functional for the long-haul. Strong sturdy wood drawers as the base, with a bookcase-like top that we’ll build to the ceiling and frame out with molding. So far we’ve picked up two of the best drawers we could find for the job (more on that in a sec) and put them together, so the room’s currently looking like this:
But eventually we envision them looking a little something like this. Except less photoshop-y.
I’ll get more into the DIY part of this post in a minute, but first I wanted to talk about some insecurities I’ve been having about becoming a second-time father, and how (oddly enough) putting these dressers together helped me work through some of them. Sorry to get sappy for a moment. Can I blame it on pregnancy hormones?
Let me preface this by saying I’m a harsh critic when it comes to my own parenting. I generally think I do a good job, but there are always things I’d like to do better – be more patient with Clara, have more adventures with her, and generally give her more of my undivided attention. It’s that last one that seems especially daunting in the context of having a second child: how do I give two kids sufficient attention when sometimes I feel like I’m falling short with just one?
Life also felt simpler back when we were expecting Clara. She arrived on the very day I was leaving my advertising job to come blog full-time with Sherry. So Clara came into a household where time felt almost leisurely. Sure, the blog was still somewhat busy back in 2010, but suddenly having two full-time employees made it feel like we had plenty of hours to soak up this new baby of ours – especially since we moved at a slower project pace and had lots of other stuff in the mix like multiple mood boards, Reader Redesigns, House Crashings, Email Answers, and Window Shopping posts along with lighter fare like Budget Blooms, random posts about mushrooms, or weird dreams.
Things won’t be that way when the Barnacle arrives. He’ll land right as we’re scrambling to finish our showhouse. Right as we’re supposed to be photographing some of our second book. Right after our secret project will finally be out of the bag. So I already worry that this awesome little boy will be meeting a busier, more distracted version of us. And sometimes I feel like I owe him an apology that he won’t get the same experience that his big sister got back in 2010.
But building these Ikea dressers snapped me out of my worry-fest. Why? Because as I opened that first Ikea box after dinner – tired and less than excited about the task – Clara walked in and asked if she could help. It made me realize that yes, this baby’s experience will be different, but in many good ways. Mainly in that he’ll hopefully have fun doing random things like assembling furniture or other house-related stuff that Clara seems to love sharing with us. And that he’ll have a doting big sister to play with him, watch over him, and love him. That’s something Clara didn’t have and that will be an exciting experience that’s uniquely his.
As usual, Clara and I had fun building together. Sometimes she was just playing or singing nearby. But the more amazing memory will be of how she actually participated in the build. She helped me pick out the pieces from the bag (“I need six wood pieces that look like this, can you find them for me?”) and even took over the task of putting dowels in the right holes.
She was quite the little helper, and I realized how cool it is that this baby’s room won’t just be created by his parents, but that his big sister literally had a hand in it too.
All of this is not to say that I’ve squashed every one of my insecurities about fatherhood 2.0 (“do I even remember how to hold a baby?“), but at least I’ve realized that I should stop comparing the two experiences and beating myself up over what will be different. Things are different, and that isn’t a bad thing. But enough about my feelings. {insert manly throat clearing here} Let’s talk about these built-ins…
Most of the other built-in projects that we saw online were either made using base cabinets from the home improvement store (a bunch of which looked a little too kitchen-y to us, or felt a bit steep in price for not-solid-wood) or with Ikea items like BILLY bookcases (like this one), the BESTA system (like this one), or even some combination of the two (like this one). But we wanted something a bit deeper (BILLY is 11″ and BESTA is 16″) and we wanted the bottoms of ours to act like dresser drawers, not like cabinet doors (for some nice deep, easy-to-access storage). So when we stumbled upon the FJELL dressers (21″ deep) online, they seemed to fit the bill nicely. And when we checked them out in person, they looked – and felt – even better.
At $299 each, they’re a little pricier than your usual Ikea dresser, but they’re made of solid wood (i.e. no particle board) and we liked some of the details like the wood grain texture on the top and drawer fronts (which has inspired us to stain the top). Plus we figure if we’re spending the time and money building these dressers in, we like the idea of paying for something a bit more substantial that will hopefully hold up for the long haul, so we won’t find ourselves replacing them anytime soon.
We’re pretty sure we’re going to paint everything but the dresser top (which we’ll stain) just so whatever wood I build the tops out of will match the bottoms. But as you can see from the rendering, we’re considering a non-white color. Maybe a medium gray or a very muted green? Either way, we’re waiting to have all of the building and painting finished before attaching the hardware (no sense in putting that on, just to remove it when it’s time to paint). So for now we’re rocking some temporary string handles. But the hardware that comes with them is actually really nice.
We also picked these because they were a good width. I know from the picture below it looks like we could’ve gone a little wider (don’t mind that off-centered crib) but we wanted to be sure that the space between them would eventually fit a twin-bed (lengthwise) or even a full or a queen (widthwise). Just typing that feels like we’re jumping the gun, but obviously we want them to grow with the room and last longer than its relatively short-lived nursery phase.
As much as I’m hoping my next post on these will be of the “yay, they’re done!” variety, I’m trying to be realistic that there’s lots of building involved here, which will then be followed by caulking, priming, painting, and staining. And somewhere in there we’ll probably be installing crown molding around the whole room (to match the crown that’s going on the built-ins). So if you don’t hear about these for a little while, you’ll know what we’re up to. Though maybe I can enlist my little building assistant to help move things along.
She does have a pretty good handle on dowels and allen wrenches…
Sasha says
John this might be one of my favourite posts you’ve written, thank you for sharing your thoughts on fatherhood and the barnacle – to second Susan’s comment earlier; you having these fears or thoughts prove how capable you are. Don’t worry you will be great.
Btw love the idea for the build ins :) I was just wondering whether you are planning to use other “finished” products for the shelves on top of the dressers? I mean like the IKEA IVAR or similar?
YoungHouseLove says
Our current plan is to build the tops from scratch so we can make them the right height and spacing for the most custom look.
-John
Crystal says
This is going to be great guys! I think it was a good choice to get the dressers for the bottoms rather than making them yourself. Saved you sooooo much time it was worth the $299 each for something for forever.
And an earlier comment gave me a laugh and made me picture you guys with a monkey baby that could reach the shelves from the crib, swing onto them and climb up! LOL
YoungHouseLove says
Oh man, sometimes it does feel like he’s doing some cirque-du-soleil moves in there…
xo
s
Trisha says
I love the honesty in this post! It’s so sweet that you two already have the daddy/daughter building thing going. I know that you’re both super busy during the day, but I also think it’s really amazing that you’ll both be home to take care of your baby boy and Clara. That kind of time and attention is something many dads don’t have!
Melissa D says
Hi John, we are in the process of buying a house that will need lots of work done and i’ve been on the look out for something similar to those dressers. Now i think they are just what i need! I was thinking, “Wow, are they really thinking in putting books or anything close to the crib, when we all know that kids get bored while in their cribs and try to throw everything out of the crib or bring anything in.” But then i realized that the dressers wont be close to the crib and the baby wont be able to reach whatever is on the bookshelves. I have a 6 yr old daughter and almost 3 yr old son, when my daughter went to visit me in the hospital i cried, just looking at her sweet face and realizing that she wasnt a baby anymore and that in a couple of hours she had grown so much! It is true that when you see your oldest kids after you have a baby they suddenly look so much older. Good luck woth the project and i know that you and your family will do great with a new baby in the house. I will keep coming back to get more ideas on our new house.
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Melissa!
-John
AlisonG says
Real Men aren’t afraid to tell their insecurities, great post and your a great Dad.
Carrie says
Sweet post, John. You’ve helped with my insecurities about having baby #2 in a few weeks!
Love the dressers too!
Holly says
John- you HAVE to read comedian Jim Gaffigan’s book “Dad is Fat.” He has a chapter on “Daddy Guilt” that is hysterical, yet so true and touching. The whole book will have you belly laughing throughout. You are not alone. Good Dad’s struggle with these thoughts.
YoungHouseLove says
Read it and loved it. Hilarious book FTW.
-John
Ann says
Looks good! Just wondering–do you think, with everything going on this time, you are considering taking a slight paternity/maternity leave from the blog–or slowing down posting for a period of time? It does sound like you all have a lot going on! (Although, for the record, you do seem like great, attentive, and caring parents despite all of that).
YoungHouseLove says
We’re not really sure how our lives will change until this baby is here and we’re in the middle of it all, but we certainly expect that things may slow down for a bit as we adjust to having a newborn in the mix with so many other projects and deadlines. We’ll have to see how it goes, and just keep it real with you guys if we’re struggling and need a minute to get our bearings :)
xo
s
Emma says
Keep it real and take all the time you need. Your blog wouldn’t be your blog without your amazing energy and family dynamic. We, the readers, will understand.
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Emma!
xo
s
Brenda says
Thanks so much for sharing so personally. I think since you’re already concerned about having enough time for two kids, it shows how much you care. It will all work out. How neat to see Clara involved!
Jamie Smith says
Oh my gosh, John! That totally made me bawl! I am a mom of 5 and I completely understand what you are feeling. When I had my 4th I felt kind of sorry for her that she never got to have quiet like my first baby did, but after she was bigger, I started to feel bad for my first that she didn’t have this adoring gaggle of older siblings who always wanted to hold her and play with her. You just can’t do anything about it as a parent, even though you might want to. Every kids is different and they have different experiences, even growing up in the same household. Just the love is the same. :)
Robin says
I don’t how you do it – by that I mean your baby posts are interesting to me. So often I lose interest in blogs when they start having babies, but the way you incorporate your children only makes me enjoy YHL even more!
My own daughter is now 27 and I clearly recall feeling those inadequacies you describe so well. If it is any comfort at all, my daughter loves to reminisce about her childhood memories. We are so close, we talk about everything and I know she didn’t like every choice I made. Furthermore, I have told her how scared I was when I was afraid I wasn’t “good enough” as a parent. This makes her laugh and reassure me that I was the best mom in the world and she had a wonderful childhood. Color me pleasantly surprised at how things work out!!
I am so happy for your family! 2014 looks like it will be a wonderful year for the Petersiks!!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Robin! I love that your daughter laughs at you and reassures you. I can only hope Clara (and this little guy) will do the same thing to us someday.
-John
Jenn says
Is Clara ready for building/construction/power tool toys yet? Seeing the photos of Clara helping you build made me think she’d be all over those kinds of toys, if she isn’t already. My daughter Harper (who just turned four) got this design and drill toy for Christmas and LOVES it: http://www.toysrus.com/buy/workshops-tools/design-and-drill-activity-center-4112-2309056
Of course given your day-jobs, i wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already a pro at all things construction/rehab. Just thought I’d share in case you needed birthday present ideas. :)
YoungHouseLove says
That looks really fun! Thanks for the link Jenn!
xo
s
Allie says
I adore this!
As far as your worries, I think most parents have those worries when bringing a new baby into the mix. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old and things are going great. It took a few weeks to get a routine but now things are almost normal.
Kinda off subject but do you think you guys will do an update on cloth diapering your second time? I wanted to try them this time around but I was worried since I have a 2 year old.
YoungHouseLove says
Yes, we’re planning to do the same thing we did with Clara (disposable Seventh Generations until he’s big enough to fit into our AIO BumGenius cloth diapers). Will keep you posted!
xo
s
Rosemary says
Have you thought of using Honest diapers from Jessica Alba’s company? Do you know if they are similar to Seventh Gen diapers?
YoungHouseLove says
We’ve heard awesome things about those! Might have to give them a try too!
xo
s
Mel says
This totally made me tear up. Every aspect of it. I love that Clara is so into the Barnacle and is helping get his room ready. Such a fantastic big sister she already is. And John, so sweet of you to want the world for both of your children. They are both so blessed to have you and Sherry as parents. I can totally picture you as a family doing so many DIY projects together. For sure you’re going to be a close family. Sherry, I don’t know how you aren’t walking around a big crying mess over the sweetness of your family. I am crying and I don’t even “know” you all. Best wishes to you all!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh man, I’m a sobby girl lately! So much to be grateful for… and so much ‘great unknown’ going on. It’s exciting and terrifying. Haha!
xo
s
Jess says
S,
This is more a comment for you, because I saw that you said “so much to be grateful for.” I love this way of thinking. I had a major perspective shift last summer (horrible break-up, major life changes) BUT I’ve shifted my perspective 100000% and look for the beauty in life everyday.. And I’m actually doing a gratitude project this year (where each day I photograph one thing that I’m grateful for that day). Anyways, I’ve never been happier in my entire life, and I owe it all to gratitude!
Just wanted to shout out that I was so happy to see those words, because we all have so much to be grateful for!
xo!
PS: I don’t mean this condescendingly AT ALL. I am not sure if it came across like that… but just really love being aware of my gratitude, and I feel joy when others do too! We all deserve to be happy, and it’s such an easy way to smile.
YoungHouseLove says
I love that Jess! Such an awesome thing to do. I have kept a gratitude journal for years (maybe 5 now?) and it’s so easy to do each night (ok, maybe 5 nights a week when I remember, I just bullet a few things I’m thankful for that day) and so much fun to look back on! I can see half a decade of the best moments of my life in bullet form!
xo
s
Chris says
I remember wondering how I was ever going to love another child as much as my firstborn. It just didn’t seem possible. I tell everyone, your heart doesn’t get divided in half by that second baby, it just grows bigger. Trust me, it will happen. We ended up with three, and in my third child’s baby book I do nothing but apologize because there’s hardly anything in there! However, our two older children are now teenagers and more independent, so we are getting that quality time with our youngest now, even through she’s 12. (She still loves it). The older two will leave for college in a few years, and she’ll have us all to herself. So it all evens out in the end.
Lauren says
Love this DIY! Maybe I can convince my husband to build some of these with me when you post the how to.
I noticed that the crown on the built-ins was grey, but the rest of the room is white. Wasn’t this something that you were worried about in the kitchen? Thought about doing grey crown all around? : )
PS – Sorry if you’ve already addressed this! There’s some glitch that won’t let me go to the 2nd page of comments. When I click on the “2” or “Next” it just re-loads and acts like there is only 1 page of comments.
YoungHouseLove says
In the kitchen the issue was that the crown was one long piece along the pantry/upper cabinet wall, so there wasn’t any break or angle of the molding that changed to accommodate a color change, if that makes sense. See in this picture how if we painted the crown to match the upper cabinet it would have just been a section of the same long piece of molding? The good news is that in the nursery it will be two added pieces of molding that wrap around the built-ins, so when we photoshopped them a different color we liked the look and it felt a lot less random than painting the middle section of the same piece of molding in a different color!
xo
s
Larissa says
My husband and I definitely had the same insecurities that you’re feeling. Our boy and girl are 15 months apart. One thing I didn’t consider was that the baby has this amazing big brother to love on her and show her the ropes. They’re not even 3 and 2 yet, but they are best buddies. She copies everything big brother does which can be good or bad depending on the decibel level. It’s so fun seeing the differences and similarities. Just like all of your best DIY projects, this one is going to be amazing.
The built-ins are going to be cool, too. :)
Nicky says
John, please. Don’t feel insecure. I don’t know you both personally but from what I see in your videos and blogs about Clara, you (both) are great parents. The fact that you even worry about not being the best parent you could be for Barnacle proves it! A ‘bad’ parent probably wouldn’t even give it a second thought.
I know you don’t show us the bad and the ugly but when I see Clara in your videos, she comes across like a very happy, imaginative and playful kid with lots of confidence. She wasn’t born that way, she grew that way because YOU (both) provided her with an environment to develop herself that way. And I’m 100% sure Barnacle will be raised exactly the same.
Plus, he’s second so his big sister has probably levelled the road for him :) And he always has someone to look up to or ask advice!
Debbie C says
I love built-ins and look forward to seeing this when completed! Question…will there be a gap between the upper dresser and the walls, since that last bottom drawer steps out farther than the others? Just curious… :)
YoungHouseLove says
We’re planning to address that gap so it’s not visible for that truly built-in look. We worked on some plans this morning and it seems like it’ll work, so we’ll share the details as we go!
xo
s
Mrs. A says
This is EXACTLY how my husband and I felt just before baby #2 arrived. Our son (Mr. L) was 5 years old and we wondered whether we would be short-changing the baby, or even short-changing our son, now that we would have to split our time. I even recall in the first few weeks after our little Ms. A arrived, lying awake at night wondering if I had ruined a good thing, or if they each would resent us for having to share a much busier mom and dad.
Honestly, it couldn’t be better with 2 kids!! Even though it feels 3 times as busy, I couldn’t have anticipated how much these little ones would love and ADORE each other. Mr. L can hardly wait until Ms. A wakes in the morning. He loves hugging and kissing on her all day. He reads to her! He calls her “The Best Baby in the World.” And, for her part, Ms. A follows him around, practicing everything he does and calls for her brother when she can’t see him.
Love, love, love, love, love everything about our two kiddos! :)
As for the being busy with work and blog – Cpt. Barnacle will grow up seeing and doing all sorts of fun things. He has a cool sibling to play with when you are busy, and will grow up knowing the difference between a hammer and a hex wrench. He won’t have anything else to compare it to, but I honestly think he’s going to have a blast seeing both of you do something that you love to do.
Brigitte says
I remember when my second child was born, I had this moment of fear: “What if I don’t love this child as much as my first?” Now, I look back on that moment with amazement – the fact that this thought was so scary just shows me – I already did.
The beauty of the second child, as others have said, is the level of confidence and calm that is impossible with the first. For me, knowing this would be our last baby, I also was able to let myself be in the moment and just enjoy all the lovely, perfect baby things – the little hands, the funny baby noises, the endlessly sweet expresions – so much more than the first time around when I was busy feeling scared that I wasn’t doing things right.
Having a little more space between children has only one downside – you have had time to get used to not dealing with diapers. Other than that, it is such a blessing to have an older sibling who already has a sense of self and such huge excitement for having a sibling. Having a little brother brought out my oldest’s nurturing side. Even at 11 and 6, they have such a beautiful relationship, big brother looks out for little brother, little brother adores and looks up to big brother.
I have no doubt that the gift of a sibling more than makes up for any decrease in undivided attention. Actually, something I hadn’t realized beforehand, less undivided attention is actually a gift in itself. Clara is at an age where a little less attention gives her space to find her independence and allows her to build confidence in her own self-sufficiency. Having the comparison to a little sibling who is so needy will remind her how much she can do “all by herself.” And also, how much she is a huge help and capable person in her own right. It’s actually a good thing to realize your parents’ worlds don’t revolve ONLY around you and that sometimes you have to wait a little while to have what you want. She is already secure in your love, so it’s all good.
You guys are naturals. I’m so happy for you all and can’t wait to meet the barnacle (and also learn what his name will be).
Chase says
John, that was a really wonderful post. I think what always draws me to this blog is that you and Sherry really write from the heart and that includes vulnerability and insecurity. Much appreciated and admired. :)
Mary DePalma says
Great idea with the bookcases, definitely something the baby won’t outgrow! As for having a second child, when I found out I was pregnant with my second one I was happy but I almost mourned for my daughters loss of only child status. I felt I was taking myself and time away from her but what I never expected was the relationship that the two of them would have. They enjoy playing together so much and my son looks up to her almost like a mini-mommmy. They may lose some time with you but they gain that much and more from having a relationship with their sibling and that is something that lasts a lifetime.
Ashley says
I’m loving where you’re going with these built-ins! Plus, I don’t think you’re “jumping the gun” by planning ahead in terms of spacing for future beds — what if you move again and future owners need a queen bed in there? It’s a universal choice :D
– Ashley
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Ashley! We hope to be here for a nice long time, but it’s nice to hear that something isn’t crazy specific just for us :)
xo
s
Chris says
I loved reading this post. I feel the love, thanks for opening up John. We’re parents to one, and I wonder from time to time how we’ll ever love and give the same attention to another. When and if we’re lucky to add to our family I tell myself with love we can manage just about anything. I’m loving watching the nursery come together, and I think that it’s so special that Clara “gets it” and is excited to welcome the newest family member.
Natalie says
I was just thinking last night, I hope they put a post up about the nursery, because I found out last night that a boy will be joining our family! I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet, and now have to re-imgaine the nursery. We have a little girl (just 2) and I just wonder how different things are going to be with a little boy. I am consoled by the fact that I can read about it two months ahead of time right here – lol!
YoungHouseLove says
SO EXCITING Natalie! Congrats on your little man!
xo
s
mary says
I’m probably the 50th person to say this but you guys should be the LEAST likely parents to feel guilty about spending time with your kid! You both work from home and you seem to mostly work when she’s sleeping! How could you spend more time with her? LOL
I imagine as she’s gotten a bit older and you’ve gotten busier the work being relegated to naps and night time is probably a thing of the past, though.
YoungHouseLove says
We definitely still do most of our heavier DIY projects while Clara sleeps (just to keep her out of the dust or the paint), but she’s usually around for the lighter projects (and can even help with those now, which is fun). Projects are only about 20% of running our blog these days though (more on that here), so we both have what we’d describe as “desk jobs” during most of her waking hours each day (we might be writing posts, answering comments, sizing photos, organizing giveaways, managing side projects, doing book stuff while she plays nearby). We like to put down the laptop and interact with her when we can, but we definitely don’t get to have all-day playtime with her while only working when she naps or sleeps. That would be awesome, though!
xo
s
CandiceMcC says
I met y’all in Houston (on John’s birthday) during the book tour. At that point, I was still a new mom to 2. My daughter turns 3 on Friday and my son is 18 months. It is different the second time around even when the second time blends into the first like ours did. The newborn stuff will all come back to you but one thing I did forget about was burping them. Who knows why… :) When our son was very little, I obviously had to spend more time with him what with breastfeeding. But that gave my husband some good one-on-one time with our daughter. Then my son went through a phase where he only wanted dad. It tends to work out, I think. Now, how people have >2? I have no idea. Like my brother says, you go from man-on-man to zone defense. Good luck! Love the built-ins.
YoungHouseLove says
That’s so funny! My BFF forgot about burping her second too. She called me like “so, I kind of forgot something major – what’s wrong with me?”
xo
s
CandiceMcC says
Oh, and with boys? Things are obviously different in the diaper area. With our daughter, I’d just grab the front to pull it down when changing? Uh, there’s other stuff you can grab when you do that to boys. :)
YoungHouseLove says
Haha! Good to know!
xo
s
Layne says
This was a great post – just the right mix of DIY and DIYer. Those built-ins are going to be boss! And John and Sherry Petersik, parents of two (three…sorry Burg) – they’re also going to be boss.
heyruthie says
Having the second child will be very different. But it will teach you a lot about yourself, and how resilient kids are. When we have our first child, the world revolves around that child. And that’s a beautiful thing. And it’s a limiting thing because we actually *think* our child needs the world to revolve around them to “be OK.” When the second child arrives, and they are not the center of the universe, we realize how tough our little ones are–how resilient, how amazing! No nap time at home? Baby makes his own way in the world and naps in the car. Babies are amazing, and not being the number one, ends up showing us just how fantastic these little humans are. If I had to sum it up–you shelter your first baby, but you really come to “respect” your second baby for their ability to “be OK” even when they aren’t pampered in the same way. (And watch out number three…or four!) My fourth child arrived and practically took care of herself, LOL! She’s such an independent little soul! And although I pampered my first child, the arrival of the other kids ensured that none of them think the world revolves around them–or even that Mommy or Daddy revolve around them. I love that my kids know I will spend time with them, but they don’t *expect or demand* my constant attention. Having a bunch of siblings has really helped that. It just gets better and better. I hope the Barnacle isn’t your last!
Meghann says
I can’t wait to see this project. I’ve been wanting to do something similar but rather then bookcases a closed cabinet (saw it in some magazine and fell in love with all the extra storage). Project has not happened as I’ve been searching for the perfect base. Just saw the Fjell dresser a few weeks ago and just have not made my way to Ikea to check them out. So glad to hear they are sturdy. Yay!!
We are also pregnant with our second child. I have always had difficulty getting pregnant and so our oldest is 5 (will be 5.5 when this one is born). I have worried that I will not be as attentive or as involved with this one until my Best friend reminded me that even with my nieces and nephews and her kids I am involved. What a relief to get an outsiders opinion. I can’t wait for them to get here (or even to find out if they are a boy or girl). Our daughter is beyond thrilled that she will be a big sister and I just know what a bid help she will be. I know it will be busier and louder but I grew up in a big family and welcome the joy/craziness that will ensue.
YoungHouseLove says
That’s so sweet Meghann! And congrats for your baby on the way!
xo
s
schmei says
Darnit, John. I came here to read about built-ins and now I’m all eye-watery and wanting to call everyone in my family to tell them I love them. But I will blame pregnancy hormones for part of it. I’m due just before Sherry with our second kid, so your worries sound very familiar. I keep reminding myself that my childhood, as the youngest of three, was a lot of fun. I never felt like I lacked my parents’ attention even though they were running a small business together (sound familiar?) and had other kids. And my brother and sister were – and are – awesome. When I turned 5 years old, bro and sis went shopping together and picked out a special pink backpack for my birthday. I remember them beaming when I opened that thing, and I was so excited about it. I wore it to kindergarten every day. You’re giving both of your kids the gift of a sibling, and that’s beautiful.
Also: I like what you’re doing with the built-ins. :-)
LARK says
The fact that you are evening asking about how to be a good father to #2 validates that you will be! Every child’s experience will be different, but that is okay.
As to Clara helping with the furniture, it really won’t be that long until she can do it herself. We found that the IKEA pictograms where exactly like the LEGO ones, and my son was able to put together his own bookshelf at age 8.
Good luck!
YoungHouseLove says
That’s awesome!
xo
s
Andrea says
Long time reader, first time commenting. Officially let me congratulate you on the pending barnacle bundle. This post was so endearing that I had to comment. John, you are so, so lucky to be a work-at-home dad. All children really want (and need) is your time and love. You and Sherry have that covered in spades!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Andrea!
-John
Sarah @ The Simple Home says
Love it! I’m so excited to see the rest finished!
Question, though, are you going to paint or stain it?
Sarah
http://www.thesimplehomeblog.blogspot.com
YoungHouseLove says
We’re planning to stain the dresser top and paint the rest like our photoshopped rendering I think!
xo
s
Summer says
Loved this post. Thanks for being so honest, John. I think that knowing our limitations as parents is an important part of determining to do what we need to in order to love our kids. I’m always inspired by the idea that we need our hopes for our children to outweigh our fears for them. Embracing that Child II gets an older sibling in place of all the one-on-one with mom and dad is part of that.
Practical question, now: how close is the finish on the FJELL hardware to the finish on the HEMNES hardware? (We have a couple of HEMNES pieces, and it’s not all exactly the same… but the idea is kind of a weathered pewter-ish / dull black/nickel mix.) We just refinished a desk to match our HEMNES bookcases, and are looking for some cup pulls to complete the tie-in. The ones here look like they might be the ticket. What do you think?
YoungHouseLove says
Oh man, I wish we had some Hemnes hardware to compare it to. It’s sort of an antiqued gunmetal silver if that makes sense.
xo
s
Tara says
As I am due to give birth to my second child (a girl-I have a 16 month old boy), I totally can relate to your feelings. When I have these feelings I think back to a cartoon clipping my mother had posted in our kitchen growing up (I was one of four). It was of a mother of four being approached by a stranger who asked her how she divided her love among four children. Her response? “I don’t divide it, I multiply it.” Here’s to multiplying the amount of love your heart can hold!
YoungHouseLove says
That’s sweet!
xo
s
Katy says
The best thing my parents ever gave me were my sisters. I am the youngest of 4 (2 still in diapers when I was born) and I never missed my parent’s undivided attention. I was just happy to be in a loud crazy house where there was always company…still am, probably more so!
Cathy says
Those built-ins will be so great. Even greater is the video. I love Clara saying, “I want to see the video” again and again and again. That brought back memories of my first child. He was just a little younger than that, and I was trying to get a video of him singing (like he had been before I got the camera.) He was fascinated by the little screen on the video camera at that point, so it was almost impossible to ever catch a video of the true action. As soon as he saw it, he said, “Mommy turn tiny TV.” I said, “Not yet. I want you to sing your song.” He said, “Mommy turn tiny TV.” I said, “Sing your song, and then I will turn the tiny TV.” He said, “No, Mommy. First you turn tiny TV and then I sing song.” Too smart — even at 3. :-)
You are going to love and be amazed at the bond between the two children. Going from one to two will be easier than you think! :-)
YoungHouseLove says
That’s so funny!
xo
s
Anele @ Success Along the Weighn says
I can’t wait to see the finished project and that’s definitely something he can have for a long time…even take it to his own home one day! But let’s get through the whole birth/childhood thing first. :) You guys are amazing parents and while he may not have the same experience Clara has, he will have a unique experience all his own. It helps that Clara is at a great age to be able to help out and maybe some of that busy-ness will encourage an even closer bond between the two of them which can be more rare these days. No matter what, he’ll know he’s loved and that’s all you can really ask for!
Jane says
I put off having child number 2 due in no small part to the concerns that you’ve given here – #2 wouldn’t get the time/attention #1 had, #1 would lose out on our undivided attention. You’re way ahead of me though as you’ve realised already what I didn’t until #2 got here: they get each other!
There is just over 4 years between ds & dd & at 16 & nearly 12 they are still very close (it’s just that instead of bringing me wipes for the baby, ds is letting his kid sister play minecraft with him right now!)
I blame being brought up as a pseudo only child (only sister is 18 years older than me) for my not understanding the benefits to having a sibling.
You’re going to do great & no, you never forget how to hold a baby!
Sarah says
Love how the built-ins are shaping up! Should be a lovely addition to the room.
We had baby girl #2 this summer and I know we felt a lot of the same concerns you expressed. It’s true, they have a different kind of babyhood from the first child, but it’s a total mushy heart kind of thing to see your oldest love on the new baby. Also, it’s amazing and so heart warming to see how soon the baby shows signs of loving and idolizing the big sister! Our youngest is not quite six months and it is very clear that her big sister is the coolest person in her world and she literally cannot hold still when she’s watching her big sister run around and be crazy, because she is so eager to be able to get in on the fun. It will be different the second time around, but still very good! :)
Carrie Lea says
BAH! Your words got me all mushy inside and then the comments brought out the tears. Ehm. Verklempt.
First, thanks for being patient with Clara and having her help. My dad and I are NOT patient with each other, not even a little bit. I thought we were going to kill each other during my bathroom remodel and was glad when the part where I needed extra hands and the nail gun was over.
We got in a fight over me using the saw. Despite the fact that I was like 10 when he taught me how to use it, he suddenly had visions of me accidentally lopping my hand off. I don’t even know what that was about. Fortunately we get a long in pretty much every other part of our relationship, we just can’t DIY together. :)
About the built in’s. Did you think about going across the wall on the top between the bookcases to achieve more of a nook? Similar to the built in’s in your last house but with a bed in the middle instead of a doorway?
YoungHouseLove says
I love that! Some folks just aren’t DIY compatible. Heck, sometimes we aren’t! Haha! As for the idea of a header to bridge the gap, we did consider that but when we mocked them up in photoshop we liked the individual corner units a little better, so we think we’ll start there and see how we like it!
xo
s
Sam says
How do you plan on making the dressers sit flush with the wall? I can only imagine if you left it as is, the space between the built in and the wall would be a great hiding spot for dust and little toys.
YoungHouseLove says
We drew out our plans this morning which involve removing the baseboard and trimming the overhang of the counter ever so slightly on that side along with adding some wood fill pieces. Hopefully after we do that and caulk and paint, it’ll all be nice and flush on the sides! The idea of little crevices for food and small toys gives me bad vibes too, so we’re definitely set on making this truly built into those corners.
xo
s
JenB says
You mentioned painting the cabinets. Have you guys ever done something with colored stain? Like red, blue or green? I have been reading your blog for quite a while and I can’t remember. Anyway, they’d look cool that way. I’m suggesting it because I really want to try it sometime myself. Haha! Whatever you do will be awesome, as always!
YoungHouseLove says
We haven’t tried that, but we do plan to stain the tops I think (although a more traditional wood tone I think). After searching through inspiration images the ones we kept gravitating towards had this cool putty/mushroom/deep green colored paint, so I think we’re leaning that way most – but tinted stain could be fun for another project!
xo
s
Leslie says
As the youngest of three girls, you would have thought it would have been hard for my dad to make time for me. However, just like you John, my dad spent time letting me “help” with all his projects. Those are my most favorite memories, and I also have a done of DIY skill to add to that! Clara will love that you let her help and will always remember it!
bekah says
Oooh that will look great! I did a similar treatment (painted base, stained top) on a dumpster desk not too long ago, and I still love the way it turned out. I bet you guys will do a great job on it!
Second babies…yeah…it’s still scary! Our second “baby” is two now, and I am SO glad they (my 2 boys) have each other! There is nothing like watching a sibling bond form and grow. The Barnacle and Clara are both so lucky to have each other!
Julianne says
You will be just fine! Remember, #2 won’t know anything different, so won’t have Clara’s past experiences to compare. Your little family now has more personality, more experience and another little special one to share her love with him. He will be extremely blessed to be a part of your family and will feel so loved and cherished…life couldn’t be any better. :O)
Isabel says
My sister told me once that the one thing that she knew had changed forever after she had her first was realizing that for the rest of her life she would worry about her kids, no matter what, no matter when. I don’t think I replied at the time, but if I were having this conversation today I would say” “and that’s what makes you a good parent.” So I say to you both, the fact that you worry, and will continue to worry, is what makes you good parents. Clara, Baby Barnacle and Burger are ver lucky to have you :)
Stephanie says
I mostly lurk but I wanted to say I know the feeling, John. I’ve only got one but I worry that I don’t give her enough of my time. You eloquently summed up every parent’s dilemma.
Oh and the dresser looks nice too. Good job! :D
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Stephanie.
-John