It’s nearly a year late (I can’t believe I’m going to be the mother of a one year old in three short weeks). And the reason for the delay is simple. Thinking / typing / talking about the day that Clara was born still scares the pants off of me. Even 11+ months later. This little lady made quite the dramatic entrance.
Yup, the day that Clara came into the world was the most amazing life-changing day of my existence, but it was easily also the single most terrifying one. I’ve mentioned some details a few times in comments on other Clara-related posts (many readers wanted to know all about the bean’s birth right away) but I think now that she’s almost a year old I’ve processed that day enough to really share it fully with the interweb. By no means am I over it (don’t really know if I ever will be), but I can talk about it now without crying. So that’s a start, right? A few friends of mine have actually recommend that I write this post as part of the whole healing process (a lot of the posts that we write are actually for our own benefit since this is just an online diary to document our lives for our own selfish purposes, haha). So I thought it made sense. I know that how Clara came into the world will affect future pregnancies and how nervous/anxious/wary/afraid I’ll be if any of the same complications pop up again, so perhaps talking about it after processing it for almost a year might help me come to terms with it a bit more. So here it goes (deep breaths, deep breaths).
I had an amazing low risk fabulous pregnancy. No high blood pressure. No weird pains. Over 100 days of morning sickness (yes I counted) but that’s to be expected. Or at least tolerated in the name of baking a human. Other than that (and once that ended) it was amazeballs as my girl Bethenny Frankel would say. I felt great. I loved feeling my little bean kicking around in there. I basked in the glory of being prego. I told John I could do it ten more times. Life was good.
My tiny 4’11” mom had two natural (and very fast) child births, so I had high hopes of a normal (if not very quickly progressing) delivery. Maybe without drugs, and maybe with them. I wasn’t going into it with any strong feelings either way, but I had taken some classes on pain management and learned about The Bradley Method so I was actually feeling very bring-it-on by the end. Either way I kept telling myself “in the end the baby will be out and I’ll get to meet her, so no fear is allowed – it’s going to be a happy day – with drugs or without them. No pressure. Just try to go with the flow and relax.” I had orders to “run, don’t walk” to the hospital if I had any signs of labor (my mother had me in four hours and my brother within two) so that had me a little on edge, but the only thing I worried about was having the baby at home or in the car since I feared it would all happen really fast because that runs in the family.
John was working downtown at the time and I was at home without a car (we’re a one car family, so he’d take the car during the day and after he came home we’d run any errands I needed to do). So admittedly the whole being at home without the car thing was kind of scary but I knew about fifty neighbors who volunteered to drive me to the hospital if things got crazy and John couldn’t make it home to get me in time. The funny thing is that he answered his cell phone on the first half-a-ring for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, so I knew he was on high alert and was confident that he’d hightail it home in time (it was only a 15 minute drive).
I never felt a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks) until the day I went into labor, but I knew I was dilated to a 3.5 at 39 weeks (yes I walked around at a 3.5 without going into labor with my first child, which I hear is really uncommon). Clara must have been holding onto the walls in there. So although I was still about a week “early,” my doc said I was going to have the baby any second. Hence John being on high alert. Oh yeah and my belly looked like this. I was officially ready to pop.
I noticed on the morning of May 14th (it was a Friday) that I was having some pretty intense contractions. My first contractions ever (well that I felt). At first they were oddly irregular so I thought it was just prelabor (didn’t even tell John because I didn’t want him to get all crazy and come running home for a false alarm). But slowly they started to establish a pattern and by the time I started timing them they were just four minutes apart. And they were an 11 on the pain scale. I felt like my insides were ripping apart and my back was killing me. I called John who was out to lunch with all of his coworkers to celebrate his very last day at the office (he was resigning to come on full time as a dad/blogger) and told him to get the eff home. He laughed about how good my timing was because he was just finishing his burrito. I groan-cried in the middle of a contraction and he knew I meant business. So home he came flew.
By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were already two minutes apart. I remember having a hard time even walking from the car to the door because they were just coming nonstop and they were bring-you-to-your-knees painful. I thought I might have a baby right there in the parking lot. They sent me straight into labor and delivery. As we waited for the doctor to arrive and check my progress my water broke in the hospital bed- but instead of being clear it was red. So much blood. Very scary. I didn’t even see most of it (thanks to my giant belly and the sheet over my lower half) but John did along with my OB who happened to be in the room. John’s face went white and the OB snapped into hyperdrive.
Immediately the room filled with frenzied nurses and doctors and they explained that I was having a placental abruption, which happens when the placenta has inexplicably detached from the uterine wall. This is very bad news before the baby is born. And it explains the feels-like-my-body-is-ripping-apart pain I’d been experiencing. It’s an extremely dangerous complication for the baby (since they get their nourishment from the placenta and can go into shock and die) and the mother can hemorrhage (and can also die in cases of extreme bleeding). So it was a pretty dire situation all around (although nobody stopped to explain it, the look on the doctor and nurse’s faces kind of said it all).
Within about a minute they had me in the OR and within three minutes they had sweet baby Clara out thanks to an amazingly fast emergency c-section. They saved her life by acting so fast.
It was a blur. All I remember was them running my gurney into the walls while turning corners in the hallway trying to get me into an ER as fast as possible. They looked panicked. And it scared the heck out of me. I didn’t care about me or my body – just the baby. I remember screaming inside of my head “just cut her out of me, cut and I don’t care if I feel pain or if I get hurt or if I have scars all over, just save her. Do it right here in the hallway if you have to.” Of course my lips weren’t moving. It was one of those out-of-body mind screams that nobody else can hear.
John suddenly wasn’t with me. They just left him behind and ran with me down the hall calling up to get emergency doctors and nurses on hand since the main OR was already in use for a scheduled c-section. I remember people popping out of doorways saying “I’ll help” and joining the frenzied mob and going over all of my stats (blood type, number of weeks prego, etc) while saying things like “baby in distress” and “profuse bleeding.” I couldn’t have created a scarier nightmare scenario in my head if I tried. Lots of people swarmed into the OR in the next thirty seconds. But no John. I could barely breathe at the thought of something going so wrong without him by my side. Once they had me fully prepped for surgery (which happened within less than a minute, they were so amazing) someone must have run off to get him.
I wish I could say it was thanks to me calling out for him but I was in shock so I couldn’t talk or even move. I was frozen. It almost felt like I wasn’t even there and I was watching it all happen to someone else on TV. John says he remembers standing in the hallway as everyone ran off with me. So freaked out and completely alone. Just waiting. That always makes me cry when I think about it. I didn’t know it at the time because of the chaos, but someone had tossed scrubs at him when I was being wheeled out (he would need them since it had to be a sterile environment for the c-section) so he was just standing there in the hallway wearing his scrubs and waiting. And going crazy. Finally someone came out to retrieve him and he was allowed to come hold my hand right as they started to cut. I just stared at him. I was frozen. I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I was just in shock at how quickly everything was happening.
Once they opened me up they saw that not only was Clara in distress from the placental abruption, but the umbilical cord had somehow been pinched (which is called “cord prolapse”) so she was without oxygen while fighting to make it through the abruption. I heard them toss out the word “cord prolapse” (they didn’t have time to explain what was going on, so I learned the details later) but in my odd state of panic and shock I thought they were talking about someone else. I was the one with a placental abruption. The scariest page of my birth book at home. The one I didn’t even read because it wouldn’t happen to me because I didn’t have high blood pressure or any of the other risk factors. My baby couldn’t also be dealing with cord prolapse. How could that be? Who could be that unlucky? Then they said “she’s not going to cry ok – don’t wait for her to cry just try to stay calm and breathe slowly.” That was when my heart broke and I started to cry. I guess I was crying for her.
I couldn’t see anything thanks to the screen they threw up before cutting into me, but they were right. She didn’t cry when they yanked her out with all of their might. All I remember was extreme pressure but no pain. Well, no physical pain. Emotional pain = off the charts. They had NICU specialists standing by, and when I heard them say “NICU” out loud that it was the first time I actually thought “what if this doesn’t end the way I thought it always would? What if all those pep talks I gave myself about it being a happy day because “drugs or no drugs I would get to meet my sweet baby girl” weren’t going to be true?
John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong when he saw all the blood before they whisked me away. And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying. John later confessed that once he was allowed into the OR to hold my hand that he couldn’t really watch as they pulled her out of me, even though he was much taller than the screen they had set up to block my view. Not because he was afraid of the blood or passing out, but because he didn’t want to see our baby “not make it.”
But after about one felt-like-eternity minute they got her to moan. Kind of like a kitty meowing. It was so soft and weak and just heart breaking. I remember thinking “I want her to cry so she’s ok, but I don’t want to hear her if she’s not going to be ok because I’m falling in love already. I can’t hear her moan and then fall silent- she has to start wailing. Right now!” But no dice. I remember thinking that all the silence felt so loud. Like it was almost deafening to listen so desperately for some sign of a cry. Clara got a 4 on her initial Apgar test, which we later heard is usually the lowest score you can get before permanent brain damage if things don’t improve by the five minute Apgar retest. They didn’t announce the time of birth or her weight very loudly or say anything like in the movies, you know like “it’s a girl!” or “happy birthday!” or “what’s her name?” and she didn’t come lay on my chest. I still couldn’t even see her thanks to the screen they had put up to block the surgery. They were all just working on this baby that I couldn’t even see. My baby. And I just stared at John in a silent freeze, tears in my eyes but nothing coming out of my mouth. At some point after closing me up the doctor said “she’s bleeding – she reopened, get over here” and half of the team ran back to work on me. My incision which had been sewn and stapled shut had reopened and I could hear from the doctors tone that it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I still wasn’t scared for me. In any other scenario it would have been intensely alarming, but I had a one track mind: the baby. I want to hear the baby cry.
It felt like five years went by (in reality it was less than five minutes) but slowly the people working on me thinned out and the people working on Clara seemed to start moving more casually and slower. As if it wasn’t such an emergency anymore. I remember thinking “this is either a very good or a very bad sign.” Thankfully, by her five minute Apgar test she pinked up, cried a glorious and spirited cry, and got a 9 (we later learned that the five minute Apgar retest is the most important and revealing one). They said that a 9 was as close to perfect as it gets and that even super healthy children rarely get 10s. And they told us that it was so great that she rebounded so well and was looking fantastic. She was a fighter for sure. They even let John go over and see her (I was still strapped down so I had to wait).
She wasn’t out of the woods yet, but we didn’t know that at the time, so we started to rejoice and John even took some video on the iPhone to bring back over to show to me since I hadn’t even laid eyes on her yet (we were so lucky that the iPhone happened to be in John’s pocket before all hell broke lose, otherwise we wouldn’t have any documentation of Clara’s birth at all). We later learned they were somehow testing her cord blood to see if she was without oxygen for so long that she sustained permanent brain damage. Only when the test came back all-clear (indicating that there were no worries of that) did the nurses and doctors really seem to relax.
Apparently infants who live after a placental abruption have a 40-50% chance of complications, which range from mild to severe (and sometimes mothers who survive end up with a hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging). Only then did it start to sink in how lucky we really had been. And what a miracle our baby girl really is.
Finally, after what literally felt like days, they wrapped her up and brought her over to me. My arms were strapped down from the surgery, so John held her right near my head and I just stared at her in disbelief. I was still in shock, and bloated with fluids from the IV along with fear and disbelief and unconditional love.
What did I do to deserve such a happy ending? How would I have survived coming home empty handed to a beautiful nursery that I shared with the world while being so confident that I was guaranteed a cute little baby to put in that crib? Basically it was the scariest day of our lives, and I still ask why. Why me (in that annoying “poor me” way) and why me (in the “why-was-I-so-lucky-she-was-spared” way). But the main thing I feel is full. Of relief. Of gratitude. Of love for my little fighter. My little miracle. I’m SO THANKFUL that the doctors and nurses worked so quickly to come to her (and my) rescue. I’ll never know for sure, but if another team had been on duty I don’t know that I would have had the same outcome. They were just so on it. So invested and so amazing. And I can’t even begin to think about what could have happened if I wasn’t in the hospital when I started bleeding.
Other nurses and doctors in the hospital dropped in to see us for days just to tell us how lucky we were (news of our complications were apparently the talk of the hospital). We even had a friend on another floor (coincidentally she was there on the same day that I went into labor for a pre-term labor scare) who had overheard nurses and doctors talking about “that woman who had both a cord prolapse and a placental abruption at the same time but the baby actually survived.” Only later did she find out that it was me they were talking about. I still get chills when I think about that. How lucky we were. How scary it was. And how gorgeous and amazing that little girl in my arms was. And still is.
So that’s the story of the scariest/best day of our lives. Whew. No wonder we’re obsessed with the girl.
As for if those complications are more likely to occur with any subsequent pregnancies, cord prolapse is totally random and can happen to anyone, so it doesn’t become more likely if you’ve experienced it before (but it’s rare, so if you’re prego and reading this story know that my combination of complications were about as likely as winning the lottery). However, placental abruption is more likely to reoccur (around one in four women experience it again) and it can happen as early as around twenty weeks (when the baby isn’t viable yet, which means the baby wouldn’t make it). So it can be devastating and scary. I have strict orders to wait at least two full years between pregnancies to let everything heal up nice and strong, which probably means over three years between Clara and her younger brother or sister, assuming all goes well. I’m fine with the wait since I’m happy to just enjoy Clara for a while and take that time to continue to process the whole birth experience and build up my courage. But I’m sure when I’m pregnant again I’ll be much less happy go lucky about it.
Which is really sad. John keeps begging me to let it be the same joyful and unabashedly exciting time as it was before. But I know myself. And I’ll be on high alert. Searching for any signs or symptoms that something’s wrong. And scared even if there aren’t any signs of trouble (because there weren’t any before I started feeling contractions with Clara- it just all came out of nowhere). I’m scared that I might even be afraid to get a nursery ready. You know, so as not to jinx things. So my plan is to know myself, and accept that I’m going to be scared. But to do my best to enjoy it as much as I can and remind myself that I now know what an abruption feels like (so I should instantly be able to identify it) and that I have more information than I had with Clara (plus the doctors also know about my history now that I’ve had it happen). So I’ll hopefully have just as good of an outcome should it reoccur, as long as it doesn’t happen before the baby is developed enough to be delivered.
But I’m not gonna lie. I’m going to be petrified.
I also might be a “high risk” pregnancy next time without any chance of natural labor (if signs of another abruption occur they’ll rush me to a c-section if the baby is old enough to live outside the womb). I’m ok with that. Anything for a healthy baby. Now not only am I open when it comes to drugs or no drugs, I’m totally down with a c-section too. Slice and dice, baby. Whatever it takes.
Kate says
wow- all I can say is thank you for sharing. I hope it helped heal your heart a bit. I am so happy for your miracle. amazing. <3
Wendy says
Thank you for sharing your most personal and amazing story. I’m 21 weeks pregnant with my second and after complications with my first am much more nervous about things. Your story was beautiful and totally made me cry.
Bri says
Wow. Just wow. Hugs to you both.
ginger says
I should have known I couldn’t read this at work without crying, especially 3 months after giving birth myself. thank god y’all are all ok. how terrifying.
Megan says
I cried reading your story. I am 38 weeks pregnant and this is my second go. My first pregnancy ended with an emergency c-section that scared the begeezus out of me. My son was taken to the NICU and I didn’t get to meet him for the first 6 hours. When I was in the OR all I kept asking for was my husband because I knew I couldn’t do this without him. Later he told me he sat in that long hallway (waiting while they prepped me) and never felt so alone in his whole life. Breaks my heart. I cried for a long time when I tried to tell my sons birth story. It was scary and nothing like I expected. Your experience was far more dangerous, but none-the-less I connected to it. Thanks for sharing. I am going for VBAC this time (assuming all goes as planned) and just trying to stay positive. As long as there is a healthy baby and a healthy mom I will be happy.
Danielle says
thanks so much for sharing. i had my first baby 2 months early this past august due to some horrific and random complications, and i have a 25% chance of them happening again. i could live with the me-almost-dying part, but right now i cannot imagine having another premature baby.
the more i share about my experience the more i meet women who have also had less-than-ideal birth stories. you are not alone. and it’s true, i feel like it makes me appreciate my precious baby all the more because of the trauma surrounding her birth.
i hope this story helps other people like it helped me this morning.
Christa says
This was beautiful. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I HATED hearing birth stories. hate, hate, hate. They were all so freaky to think about! But after I had my baby girl, I realized that every story is an adventure and a beautiful miracle from God. Thanks for sharing your story. I know you would have more fears going into another pregnancy, but I hope you can still enjoy it for the precious miracle it truly is! :)
Paulina J! says
Ok, so I’m at work crying my eyes out! I have never been prgenant and go through days where I want a baby and some days that I just don’t think I’m ready. I witnessed the birth of my niece and it was amazing, but wonder if it’s something I could go through.
I’m soooo happy that you had great doctors and that you and your baby are doing great!! You can brag all you want about that little precious Bean; you deserve it. We never know what people really go through, so we should NEVER judge :)
Tash says
You are amazing and Clara is beautiful. I’ll look at your “bean” posts with even more admiration now.
John rocks too!!
Devon @ Green House, Good Life says
Incredible. Isn’t it amazing how much has to happen right (even when things happen wrong) to end up with a perfect, healthy baby? There’s not much I can say that others haven’t already, but I did want to echo their sentiments. She’s a beautiful girl, you’re a beautiful family, and I’m so glad everything worked out in the end.
Amanda says
WOW, this just goes to show, we really don’t know the whole story behind a blog! This brought tears to my eyes atleast 5 different times. I also had to take reading breaks so I didn’t burst into tears in the office! Thank you for sharing this. I think you’ll help a lot of other women with this story.
angel p. says
I am in tears over your story. I had severe problems with my 1st pregnancy (I’ll spare you the scary deets) and was scared to get pregnant again. I waited 6 years to do it again. I was afraid of not being happy during the pregnancy but surprisingly I was. The fear will always be there but somehow time lessens it to a point that you feel you can try again. I now have 3 beautiful children and while each pregnancy had it’s own share of problems they were never the same problems that I had with the 1st. I’m so glad that you and Clara are great today. She is a beautiful child!!!
Regina says
Thanks for sharing and wow – how scary. I started out my morning with coffee and tears.
A couple mamas I was pregnant with had pretty traumatic births and went to a workshop on coming to terms with their birth (especially because they were planned homebirths). It might just be a San Francisco thing, but it might be worth looking into. They said it was pretty helpful.
Thanks again for sharing – that is a powerful story.
Robyn says
Thank you for sharing! That was incredibly written. I could picture John standing all alone in the hallway, and my heart just ached. That really is a miracle, and my respect and admiration for you guys has tripled! Cute little Clara. Love the videos you guys post of her and Burger, btw.
Mae Anunciado says
Wow! What a story! I was crying the entire time! Thank you for being brave and strong to share the story with the rest of us.
Kirsten says
Uffda. Crying over here, too. So scary. So glad you’re all OK–and that John made it in to hold your hand:).
Lisa says
Wow! What a harrowing experience. Thank you so much for sharing it. I was petrified while reading, even though I know there was a good outcome.
We’re right about the same age as you and John, and are probably going to try for a little bean of our own in about a year. We’ve been thinking of having one biological kiddo and adopting a second if we decide we want more than one. Just curious – is that something you’ve considered? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts, especially in light of hearing about how stressful your first birth experience ended up being.
YoungHouseLove says
Yes I have always said I would love to adopt if I can’t get pregnant again (and perhaps even if I can). I think the ultimate healing process would be to have a healthy pregnancy after Clara so I want to give myself that chance, but adoption has always been something that John and I would love to do.
xo,
s
Sheela says
What a miraculous story. I’m so glad that you are both doing so well. I know how scared I was during my two kids’ births when I had some minor problems – I can’t even imagine how scared you must have been. Thank God that everything turned out wonderfully. You are a lucky family, and very deserving of such a happy ending. :)
Lori H says
Wow. Even knowing that Clara is almost one year old, I was terrified reading her birth story. God is so good! Thanks for sharing your story and enjoy that little girl!
I think it’s perfectly natural to be scared next pregnancy, but hopefully John can help you stay focused on the positive.
Amanda Wells says
What an amazing story and what a beautiful little blessing you have on your hands!
Paula in MN says
I also had placental abruption with my now 12 year old daughter. I never had any contractions. Rather, I was lying in bed and thought my water had broken. I had to call 911, and they sent 2 ambulance crews and 3 squad cars. I was alone, so they had to break down the front door and then 2 male paramedics and 2 policemen carried me down the 1907 2-cornered stairway before loading me onto a stretcher. I never felt any pain, I’m sure because I was in shock. I vaguely remember arriving at the hospital, and my doctor, who happened to be on call that night, was waiting for me. They knocked me out so I don’t know any of the surgical details. I awoke a few hours later and by that time my daughter was fine. They had to bag my daughter. Initially she had an apgar of 0, still 0 at the next marker, but she had a 9 by the 5-minute test. She did not suffer any brain damage. We were in the hospital for 5 days as I had some complications. I thank God daily for the precious daughter he has given me. I also thank Him for the son he gave me three years later. Still a c-section, but very uneventful!
YoungHouseLove says
What a scary ordeal but an amazing and fantastic outcome! I can’t imagine being home when it happened. You’re so brave.
xo,
s
shanna says
Amazing. Amazing mama, amazing baby, amazing story. Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal and difficult here with us. I hope that doing so will help with your healing.
April says
I’m so sorry you guys had to go through such a scary birth with Clara. I remember when she was born and you said you’d had a placental abruption my first thought was “oh, God” I’m so glad that Clara is completely healthy and that you are still able to have children.
While not exactly the same, I’ve had 3 miscarriages and it makes every pregnancy so scary. I understand not wanting to count on anything.
My youngest was born with the cord around her neck and she had to be vacumned out. She didn’t cry for a bit and they wouldn’t let me have her for what felt like forever. It was scary and frustrating. I also had a retained placenta which they opted to pull out. Very painful.
Birth can be such a scary thing. I hope and pray your next pregnancy and delivery go smoothly! Try and let yourself enjoy the pregnancy.
Cindy says
Oh, sweetie! ::quiet-crying in my cubicle:: This is so articulate and heartbreaking.
I have a friend who had a premie who only weighed about one pound. They rushed her through the halls like that with someone straddling her on top of the gurney and all she could think of was how this was just like the TV show “ER.” Her son is doing just great. :)
What a blessing that you two had already chosen to work from home together, so now you have your precious and easygoing little girl right by your sides every minute.
God bless. xo
Suzy says
It’s an incredible story, thanks for sharing it with all of us. I read a quote once that I always keep in mind when times get tough or when I remember something hard in my life.
“No one said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.”
Your little girl is beautiful, and it’s very obvious that you’re a great mom. ;)
YoungHouseLove says
I love that quote. So true.
xo,
s
Julie @ Connell Tales says
What a miracle! Thank you for sharing. I just keep thinking that God has a big plan for your little one. There’s a reason she is here and healthy. Probably a whole lot of reasons. :)
MS says
Holy crap, that is super scary all put together. No wonder its taken you this long to process it all…and I assume still are. So so so glad it turned out with a happy ending all around.
Abby R says
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. God truly protected you on that day!
Fireworks to Firelplaceas says
WOW what a story. Praise God that it all ended well. I can see why it took you a year to write that story.
I lost my one and only pregnancy at 19 weeks. I tell my husband that I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy pregnancy again — buy baby clothes, excitedly tell people, etc. — that makes me really sad. I just know now how much can and does go wrong with babies and pregnancy the be so optimistic.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and hoping for a healthy and enjoyable future pregnancy for you.
xo,
s
Pam the Goatherd says
Thanks for sharing your incredible story. I’m crying and flooded with memories…
I lost my second child to placental abruption at 7 months. There are three years between my first and third child and they get along fantastically. I think the way siblings get along has a lot to do with the attitude of the parents. Since you guys are sooooo loving toward one another I’m sure Clara will be a wonderful big sister!
After losing my baby I worried through the entirety of my next pregnancy. My OB finally told me to just relax and enjoy each day as it came. I was never able to do that completely. My daughter was born at the end of September, 22 years ago, but I still say she was the best early Christmas present I ever got!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Pam I’m so sorry for your loss but so happy to hear that your next pregnancy was perfection. Thanks so much for sharing.
xo,
s
Melissa says
Your story brought tears to my eyes multiple times. I also had an emergency c-section, but not as dramatic. My sister did too and they had to bring NICU in and he spent a few days there. But we have two healthy boys. I have also had 3 miscarriages and it makes it hard to even think about getting pregnant and then being excited knowing that it could end just as quickly. Thank you for sharing your story.
sarah says
Babies are such a gift. And a healthy baby is really a miracle, even with all of the modern day medicine. I am so happy that this ended well for you.
I had my baby girl on the very same day that you did. I was a high risk pregnancy and actually ended up in the hospital twice before I was full term with contractions…so scary. And I also ended up with an emergency csection and the doctors were scared that my baby girls vitals were not good. Thankfully she is a healthy beautiful baby! We feel so blessed.
Thank you for sharing your very personal birth story. I feel like I can relate and I feel a conection because our daughters will be celebrating their 1st birthdays on the same day! Give that Clara a big squeeze!
Teri says
My grandson was born when my daughter was only 6 1/2 months along when her placenta abrupted. Yes, scary, scary. He was hospitalized for over a month. But he’s now a healthy, happy (and gifted) 10 year old. I like to tell him about the night he was born…that he looked like a little baby squirrel (only 3 pounds). Perhaps things not going perfect makes us appreciate them even more. Oh, and I’m getting another grandchild this October. Are we a little scared? Yes. But we are also incredibly excited! Thanks for sharing your story. Clara is beautiful.
Jamie M says
Reading this made me cry for you. I’m apparently a huge sap, Especially when it comes to babies! I’m so glad it all turned out okay!
My 2nd child is about the same age as Clara, and both of mine were c-sections. The first was unexpected (though not emergency like yours) and the second – my risk of bleeding out was too high to try a vbac. So I too get sliced and diced for my babies, and they are worth every bit of it!
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and I hope it does help you in your healing process!
Holly says
Wow, what an amazing story. I can’t imagine everything you went through…so scary. Clara is such a doll!
Kristen says
Thanks for sharing your story Sherry. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must have been. My eyes were welling just reading it. Especially thinking about John just standing there waiting…that sounded like something from a movie.
Rach says
I don’t really have the right words, just thank you for sharing. You’re such a lovely family- I just well… am overwhelmed for you all. I hope this Saturday’s birthday party is absolutely wonderful. Happy birthday Clara!!
Jessica G in NN says
wow. i can’t imagine your fear/terror, but what an amazing and beautiful story. what a miracle, and she’s so darn cute to boot! i can’t wait to see the pictures of her bday party because i know you guys will be marking that occasion like no other! :)
Rachael says
Thank you for sharing this. I hope it has helped you cope with the pain and helps you move on. I’m sure lots of women will learn from your experience. Bless you and your family!
Megan says
Sherry,
Thank you so much for sharing Clara’s birth story! I am 35 weeks prego and been on bed rest for 2 months. Your story is truly inspiring and comforting, definitely a miracle. God bless your sweet girl!
Kristine says
Sherry — my first was an emergency c-section and this beautifully written story brought me right back there. I tried really hard for a VBAC with my second — I thought I needed it to emotionally “heal” from the first birth, but ended up with another section. That said, I wouldn’t have it any other way — I’m healthy and so are my babies, and that’s all we truly want as mothers, isn’t it? Wishing you nothing but the best in the future!
kate says
wow, what a scary thing…i am crying at work. So glad things worked out for your family! Clara really is a miracle baby!
Tim says
As the father of two premature daughters your story hits to close to home. My youngest was born at 30 weeks and to this day I still can’t talk about some parts of her birth. Thankfully she is thriving today and mean as a snake! She was a fighter from day one and still likes to fight with her older sister. Being in a situation like that is horrible and it puts into perspective the worries of “drug free or with drugs” birth. I hear people talk about those “concerns” and I tell them you have no idea!!!
Meghan says
Sherry,
As a mom who lost a baby to a random occurrence I can say with all of my heart that you should make every effort to stay positive and feel good about any future pregnancies. You will never regret savoring every moment of happiness, no matter what happens. You have already been through enough, do not deprive yourself of a single moment of glee and belief that your future children will be healthy, beautiful babies.
Sure, you will need to stay on top of your appointments and keep an eye for warning signs, but do not deprive yourself or the future babies of the warm hearted belly rubs, the smiles, and the confidence that things will really be okay.
My dad always told me that there may be pain in life, but we do not have to suffer. I hope as you heal from this traumatic experience you are able to free yourself from the suffering.
Many, many ((HUGS))
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss. And your words definitely hit home. I agree that I’ll never regret savoring every moment of happiness no matter what happens. So true.
xo,
s
molly says
wow. what a gut-wrenching but powerful birth story to share. It takes a lot of courage to go through what you went through. There is such a thing as birth trauma. Both for the child AND for the mother.
I also went through a terrifying birth experience with my first son. I didn’t post my birth story of him until I was ready. It has been nearly 3 years since he was born and I still can’t find my breath sometimes when I talk about it. I did not have a placental abruption and was able to have a vaginal birth. But the cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he was born not breathing. He was completely blue and lifeless. The doctor performed CPR right in front of me. His APGAR was 1. They took him away and for an entire hour we did not know if he had lived or died. It was the most terrifying and emotionally excruciating hour of our lives. He’s fine now =) Second APGAR was an 8.
But I fully understand the fear that a second pregnancy could end badly. I got pregnant again way earlier than I expected and was terribly anxious about how the birth would go. But it ended up mostly drama-free ;)
I’m sorry for the experience you went through. But please know you are not alone. Rarely is labor and delivery what people thought it would be. You pulled the short stick on Clara’s birth, that’s for sure. But I’m so glad she survived and is thriving!
Thank you for sharing.
Terra says
Thank you so much for sharing Clara’s birth story. It brought me to tears and you were so courageous for writing it. I also had a terrifying birth experience but haven’t been able to talk about it, much less write about it. I am hoping that you will inspire me to finally write it down cause you have shown me how important it is to share your story.
Rachie says
Such an emotional story – i cant begin to imagine how scary that must be! But i am SO glad that Clara is okay. A true miracle story! I can definitely see why it took so long to post but thank you for sharing.
Happy Birthday Clara!
Rachie xo
rhonda says
Well, I totally just bawled at my desk.
Monica C says
Huge mistake to read this at work…brought me to tears, but I couldn’t stop reading. What an incredible story and outcome. Thanks for sharing something so personal.
Carolyn says
What an intense story. I had to read it in stages as I just found out I’m 5 and a half weeks pregnant myself. I’m so happy your little Clara is healthy and happy.