It’s nearly a year late (I can’t believe I’m going to be the mother of a one year old in three short weeks). And the reason for the delay is simple. Thinking / typing / talking about the day that Clara was born still scares the pants off of me. Even 11+ months later. This little lady made quite the dramatic entrance.
Yup, the day that Clara came into the world was the most amazing life-changing day of my existence, but it was easily also the single most terrifying one. I’ve mentioned some details a few times in comments on other Clara-related posts (many readers wanted to know all about the bean’s birth right away) but I think now that she’s almost a year old I’ve processed that day enough to really share it fully with the interweb. By no means am I over it (don’t really know if I ever will be), but I can talk about it now without crying. So that’s a start, right? A few friends of mine have actually recommend that I write this post as part of the whole healing process (a lot of the posts that we write are actually for our own benefit since this is just an online diary to document our lives for our own selfish purposes, haha). So I thought it made sense. I know that how Clara came into the world will affect future pregnancies and how nervous/anxious/wary/afraid I’ll be if any of the same complications pop up again, so perhaps talking about it after processing it for almost a year might help me come to terms with it a bit more. So here it goes (deep breaths, deep breaths).
I had an amazing low risk fabulous pregnancy. No high blood pressure. No weird pains. Over 100 days of morning sickness (yes I counted) but that’s to be expected. Or at least tolerated in the name of baking a human. Other than that (and once that ended) it was amazeballs as my girl Bethenny Frankel would say. I felt great. I loved feeling my little bean kicking around in there. I basked in the glory of being prego. I told John I could do it ten more times. Life was good.
My tiny 4’11” mom had two natural (and very fast) child births, so I had high hopes of a normal (if not very quickly progressing) delivery. Maybe without drugs, and maybe with them. I wasn’t going into it with any strong feelings either way, but I had taken some classes on pain management and learned about The Bradley Method so I was actually feeling very bring-it-on by the end. Either way I kept telling myself “in the end the baby will be out and I’ll get to meet her, so no fear is allowed – it’s going to be a happy day – with drugs or without them. No pressure. Just try to go with the flow and relax.” I had orders to “run, don’t walk” to the hospital if I had any signs of labor (my mother had me in four hours and my brother within two) so that had me a little on edge, but the only thing I worried about was having the baby at home or in the car since I feared it would all happen really fast because that runs in the family.
John was working downtown at the time and I was at home without a car (we’re a one car family, so he’d take the car during the day and after he came home we’d run any errands I needed to do). So admittedly the whole being at home without the car thing was kind of scary but I knew about fifty neighbors who volunteered to drive me to the hospital if things got crazy and John couldn’t make it home to get me in time. The funny thing is that he answered his cell phone on the first half-a-ring for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, so I knew he was on high alert and was confident that he’d hightail it home in time (it was only a 15 minute drive).
I never felt a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks) until the day I went into labor, but I knew I was dilated to a 3.5 at 39 weeks (yes I walked around at a 3.5 without going into labor with my first child, which I hear is really uncommon). Clara must have been holding onto the walls in there. So although I was still about a week “early,” my doc said I was going to have the baby any second. Hence John being on high alert. Oh yeah and my belly looked like this. I was officially ready to pop.
I noticed on the morning of May 14th (it was a Friday) that I was having some pretty intense contractions. My first contractions ever (well that I felt). At first they were oddly irregular so I thought it was just prelabor (didn’t even tell John because I didn’t want him to get all crazy and come running home for a false alarm). But slowly they started to establish a pattern and by the time I started timing them they were just four minutes apart. And they were an 11 on the pain scale. I felt like my insides were ripping apart and my back was killing me. I called John who was out to lunch with all of his coworkers to celebrate his very last day at the office (he was resigning to come on full time as a dad/blogger) and told him to get the eff home. He laughed about how good my timing was because he was just finishing his burrito. I groan-cried in the middle of a contraction and he knew I meant business. So home he came flew.
By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were already two minutes apart. I remember having a hard time even walking from the car to the door because they were just coming nonstop and they were bring-you-to-your-knees painful. I thought I might have a baby right there in the parking lot. They sent me straight into labor and delivery. As we waited for the doctor to arrive and check my progress my water broke in the hospital bed- but instead of being clear it was red. So much blood. Very scary. I didn’t even see most of it (thanks to my giant belly and the sheet over my lower half) but John did along with my OB who happened to be in the room. John’s face went white and the OB snapped into hyperdrive.
Immediately the room filled with frenzied nurses and doctors and they explained that I was having a placental abruption, which happens when the placenta has inexplicably detached from the uterine wall. This is very bad news before the baby is born. And it explains the feels-like-my-body-is-ripping-apart pain I’d been experiencing. It’s an extremely dangerous complication for the baby (since they get their nourishment from the placenta and can go into shock and die) and the mother can hemorrhage (and can also die in cases of extreme bleeding). So it was a pretty dire situation all around (although nobody stopped to explain it, the look on the doctor and nurse’s faces kind of said it all).
Within about a minute they had me in the OR and within three minutes they had sweet baby Clara out thanks to an amazingly fast emergency c-section. They saved her life by acting so fast.
It was a blur. All I remember was them running my gurney into the walls while turning corners in the hallway trying to get me into an ER as fast as possible. They looked panicked. And it scared the heck out of me. I didn’t care about me or my body – just the baby. I remember screaming inside of my head “just cut her out of me, cut and I don’t care if I feel pain or if I get hurt or if I have scars all over, just save her. Do it right here in the hallway if you have to.” Of course my lips weren’t moving. It was one of those out-of-body mind screams that nobody else can hear.
John suddenly wasn’t with me. They just left him behind and ran with me down the hall calling up to get emergency doctors and nurses on hand since the main OR was already in use for a scheduled c-section. I remember people popping out of doorways saying “I’ll help” and joining the frenzied mob and going over all of my stats (blood type, number of weeks prego, etc) while saying things like “baby in distress” and “profuse bleeding.” I couldn’t have created a scarier nightmare scenario in my head if I tried. Lots of people swarmed into the OR in the next thirty seconds. But no John. I could barely breathe at the thought of something going so wrong without him by my side. Once they had me fully prepped for surgery (which happened within less than a minute, they were so amazing) someone must have run off to get him.
I wish I could say it was thanks to me calling out for him but I was in shock so I couldn’t talk or even move. I was frozen. It almost felt like I wasn’t even there and I was watching it all happen to someone else on TV. John says he remembers standing in the hallway as everyone ran off with me. So freaked out and completely alone. Just waiting. That always makes me cry when I think about it. I didn’t know it at the time because of the chaos, but someone had tossed scrubs at him when I was being wheeled out (he would need them since it had to be a sterile environment for the c-section) so he was just standing there in the hallway wearing his scrubs and waiting. And going crazy. Finally someone came out to retrieve him and he was allowed to come hold my hand right as they started to cut. I just stared at him. I was frozen. I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I was just in shock at how quickly everything was happening.
Once they opened me up they saw that not only was Clara in distress from the placental abruption, but the umbilical cord had somehow been pinched (which is called “cord prolapse”) so she was without oxygen while fighting to make it through the abruption. I heard them toss out the word “cord prolapse” (they didn’t have time to explain what was going on, so I learned the details later) but in my odd state of panic and shock I thought they were talking about someone else. I was the one with a placental abruption. The scariest page of my birth book at home. The one I didn’t even read because it wouldn’t happen to me because I didn’t have high blood pressure or any of the other risk factors. My baby couldn’t also be dealing with cord prolapse. How could that be? Who could be that unlucky? Then they said “she’s not going to cry ok – don’t wait for her to cry just try to stay calm and breathe slowly.” That was when my heart broke and I started to cry. I guess I was crying for her.
I couldn’t see anything thanks to the screen they threw up before cutting into me, but they were right. She didn’t cry when they yanked her out with all of their might. All I remember was extreme pressure but no pain. Well, no physical pain. Emotional pain = off the charts. They had NICU specialists standing by, and when I heard them say “NICU” out loud that it was the first time I actually thought “what if this doesn’t end the way I thought it always would? What if all those pep talks I gave myself about it being a happy day because “drugs or no drugs I would get to meet my sweet baby girl” weren’t going to be true?
John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong when he saw all the blood before they whisked me away. And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying. John later confessed that once he was allowed into the OR to hold my hand that he couldn’t really watch as they pulled her out of me, even though he was much taller than the screen they had set up to block my view. Not because he was afraid of the blood or passing out, but because he didn’t want to see our baby “not make it.”
But after about one felt-like-eternity minute they got her to moan. Kind of like a kitty meowing. It was so soft and weak and just heart breaking. I remember thinking “I want her to cry so she’s ok, but I don’t want to hear her if she’s not going to be ok because I’m falling in love already. I can’t hear her moan and then fall silent- she has to start wailing. Right now!” But no dice. I remember thinking that all the silence felt so loud. Like it was almost deafening to listen so desperately for some sign of a cry. Clara got a 4 on her initial Apgar test, which we later heard is usually the lowest score you can get before permanent brain damage if things don’t improve by the five minute Apgar retest. They didn’t announce the time of birth or her weight very loudly or say anything like in the movies, you know like “it’s a girl!” or “happy birthday!” or “what’s her name?” and she didn’t come lay on my chest. I still couldn’t even see her thanks to the screen they had put up to block the surgery. They were all just working on this baby that I couldn’t even see. My baby. And I just stared at John in a silent freeze, tears in my eyes but nothing coming out of my mouth. At some point after closing me up the doctor said “she’s bleeding – she reopened, get over here” and half of the team ran back to work on me. My incision which had been sewn and stapled shut had reopened and I could hear from the doctors tone that it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I still wasn’t scared for me. In any other scenario it would have been intensely alarming, but I had a one track mind: the baby. I want to hear the baby cry.
It felt like five years went by (in reality it was less than five minutes) but slowly the people working on me thinned out and the people working on Clara seemed to start moving more casually and slower. As if it wasn’t such an emergency anymore. I remember thinking “this is either a very good or a very bad sign.” Thankfully, by her five minute Apgar test she pinked up, cried a glorious and spirited cry, and got a 9 (we later learned that the five minute Apgar retest is the most important and revealing one). They said that a 9 was as close to perfect as it gets and that even super healthy children rarely get 10s. And they told us that it was so great that she rebounded so well and was looking fantastic. She was a fighter for sure. They even let John go over and see her (I was still strapped down so I had to wait).
She wasn’t out of the woods yet, but we didn’t know that at the time, so we started to rejoice and John even took some video on the iPhone to bring back over to show to me since I hadn’t even laid eyes on her yet (we were so lucky that the iPhone happened to be in John’s pocket before all hell broke lose, otherwise we wouldn’t have any documentation of Clara’s birth at all). We later learned they were somehow testing her cord blood to see if she was without oxygen for so long that she sustained permanent brain damage. Only when the test came back all-clear (indicating that there were no worries of that) did the nurses and doctors really seem to relax.
Apparently infants who live after a placental abruption have a 40-50% chance of complications, which range from mild to severe (and sometimes mothers who survive end up with a hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging). Only then did it start to sink in how lucky we really had been. And what a miracle our baby girl really is.
Finally, after what literally felt like days, they wrapped her up and brought her over to me. My arms were strapped down from the surgery, so John held her right near my head and I just stared at her in disbelief. I was still in shock, and bloated with fluids from the IV along with fear and disbelief and unconditional love.
What did I do to deserve such a happy ending? How would I have survived coming home empty handed to a beautiful nursery that I shared with the world while being so confident that I was guaranteed a cute little baby to put in that crib? Basically it was the scariest day of our lives, and I still ask why. Why me (in that annoying “poor me” way) and why me (in the “why-was-I-so-lucky-she-was-spared” way). But the main thing I feel is full. Of relief. Of gratitude. Of love for my little fighter. My little miracle. I’m SO THANKFUL that the doctors and nurses worked so quickly to come to her (and my) rescue. I’ll never know for sure, but if another team had been on duty I don’t know that I would have had the same outcome. They were just so on it. So invested and so amazing. And I can’t even begin to think about what could have happened if I wasn’t in the hospital when I started bleeding.
Other nurses and doctors in the hospital dropped in to see us for days just to tell us how lucky we were (news of our complications were apparently the talk of the hospital). We even had a friend on another floor (coincidentally she was there on the same day that I went into labor for a pre-term labor scare) who had overheard nurses and doctors talking about “that woman who had both a cord prolapse and a placental abruption at the same time but the baby actually survived.” Only later did she find out that it was me they were talking about. I still get chills when I think about that. How lucky we were. How scary it was. And how gorgeous and amazing that little girl in my arms was. And still is.
So that’s the story of the scariest/best day of our lives. Whew. No wonder we’re obsessed with the girl.
As for if those complications are more likely to occur with any subsequent pregnancies, cord prolapse is totally random and can happen to anyone, so it doesn’t become more likely if you’ve experienced it before (but it’s rare, so if you’re prego and reading this story know that my combination of complications were about as likely as winning the lottery). However, placental abruption is more likely to reoccur (around one in four women experience it again) and it can happen as early as around twenty weeks (when the baby isn’t viable yet, which means the baby wouldn’t make it). So it can be devastating and scary. I have strict orders to wait at least two full years between pregnancies to let everything heal up nice and strong, which probably means over three years between Clara and her younger brother or sister, assuming all goes well. I’m fine with the wait since I’m happy to just enjoy Clara for a while and take that time to continue to process the whole birth experience and build up my courage. But I’m sure when I’m pregnant again I’ll be much less happy go lucky about it.
Which is really sad. John keeps begging me to let it be the same joyful and unabashedly exciting time as it was before. But I know myself. And I’ll be on high alert. Searching for any signs or symptoms that something’s wrong. And scared even if there aren’t any signs of trouble (because there weren’t any before I started feeling contractions with Clara- it just all came out of nowhere). I’m scared that I might even be afraid to get a nursery ready. You know, so as not to jinx things. So my plan is to know myself, and accept that I’m going to be scared. But to do my best to enjoy it as much as I can and remind myself that I now know what an abruption feels like (so I should instantly be able to identify it) and that I have more information than I had with Clara (plus the doctors also know about my history now that I’ve had it happen). So I’ll hopefully have just as good of an outcome should it reoccur, as long as it doesn’t happen before the baby is developed enough to be delivered.
But I’m not gonna lie. I’m going to be petrified.
I also might be a “high risk” pregnancy next time without any chance of natural labor (if signs of another abruption occur they’ll rush me to a c-section if the baby is old enough to live outside the womb). I’m ok with that. Anything for a healthy baby. Now not only am I open when it comes to drugs or no drugs, I’m totally down with a c-section too. Slice and dice, baby. Whatever it takes.
Erin says
I’m so happy that there is such a happy ending to this scary story. But I want to let you know that both my sister-in-law and one of my best friends had placenta abruptions (both about 6 weeks before they were full term) and though each dealt with some serious complications because of it, they both went on to have second babies (both boys, incidentally) without any problems whatsoever.
YoungHouseLove says
That is amazing to hear. You have no idea how much stories like that help.
xo,
s
Sara R says
You may not tear up everytime you talk about it, but I sure did. Probably doesn’t help that I am in my 3rd trimester and my hormones make me cry like crazy. But, all in all its a great reminder of how precious and special each baby is. Congrats on making it through that day and an entire year!
Michelle says
Wow, just wow. Amazing story, amazing outcome, and an amazing little baby! Thank you for sharing and making me cry happy tears!
Michelle says
*Happy tears in that you got to bring your girl home! Just thought I should clarify…I reread it and thought it could sound insensative…and now you know how truly nutty I am!
Marla says
Sherry,
Thank you so much for sharing your story – it brought tears to my eyes. Every birth is a miracle – Clara’s was that plus many more. Our second child was delivered emergency C-section and he gave us some scares after his birth too – he’s a happy healthy 6 year old boy today. After having already experienced one c-section and knowing what to expect, I went to the hospital to have our next two children with an inward panic – the only way I could calm myself was by repeating my “birth mantra” (I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength) while being prepped for surgery. The calm came eventually – and so did two more wonderful children. My heart aches for anybody who goes through this and experiences a sad ending. Praying you’ll have more joy than fear in your future pregnancies. No one knows what a day will bring, so we might as well expect the best while we can and prepare ourselves as best we can for the unexpected.
Meghan, UK says
I can only wish you and your family full health and happiness in the future. That post took huge courage, and I thank you for it – even if it was intended for your own benefit, it moved me hugely.
Erica says
Wow, thank you for sharing that. I have tears in my eyes. I also had a traumatic birth with my son (but nothing compared to yours), and it did cause a little anxiety when I was pregnant with my daughter so I know a little how that feels. My daughters birth could not have been more different or easier compared with my son’s, so it can be better. I love reading your blog, so I will probably still be reading it when you are pregnant with bean number two. I’ll be praying for peace and healthy outcomes for everyone.
Erin J says
Sherry and John,
As everyone has said already, thank you for sharing your story. It seems that when something so frightening is taking place, it isn’t courage that gets you through it – it is necessity. However, it takes two very strong people to recover from that trauma the way you two have and to share your story with us. Clara is amazing and you are right – what a little miracle.
My two-year old’s birth was frightening as well, but not like Clara’s birth. Two of my sisters had Placental Abruptions with their kids and it is the one reason I worry about having more children. One of my sisters was not having contractions or pain at all. She was in the shower and just felt dizzy, so she sat down. She passed out and when she woke, the bathwater was completely red. My nephew’s birth was very scary for her, but he is a happy and healthy 15 year old, truly a miracle.
Your family is blessed and I know that you will love and enjoy your next baby when the time is right!
Yes – you made me cry at work too!!! Hugs and Love to all three of you.
Lina says
I just cried all over my iPad! Hope they are waterproof.
This is an amazing story and after hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time this morning (I’m due Nov.22), it makes me slightly uneasy, but at the same time confident in the job that doctors and nurses do. I cant believe the pressure they work under at times and I’m so glad there are people out in the world doing those jobs and making sure we have healthy babies.
Thanks for sharing!
Kate says
Reading this made my palms sweat and my heart race.
Three years ago when I had my daughter I had a uterine inversion after she was born (another really, really, bad, really, really, rare complication). So much of your story reminded me of what we went through. I remember asking the nurse if my daughter was okay and then realizing it wasn’t my daughter in trouble, it was me. I also remember thinking I was glad I married the man I did because he would take good care of our girl if I wasn’t there. Just like you, thinking about him and my family waiting just about kills me.
Trying to talk about it to people is really difficult because it’s just so different from what people think of when they think of childbirth. It was chaos, like an episode of ER (incidentally if you watched the last episode they had a uterine inversion on there). Thankfully after a rush to the O.R. and a few blood transfusion I survived and we now are a happy family. It was a really weird, hard time after that for a while though. You’re so happy, and relieved to have your baby but still trying to process this crazy thing that happened, ya know?
Side note: At 35 weeks I was 5 cm dilated (not a typo) and every week after I dilated another cm until they finally kept me at the hospital at 38 weeks and 8 cm dilated (no seriously, not a typo) and broke my water to make sure I was at the hospital to give birth. It took 1 hour.
I find it interesting that both of us had that dilating craziness and then had problems.
Anyway, glad all is well with you and sorry for the longest comment ever.
YoungHouseLove says
Wow- I’m so glad you’re ok! And hearing that you were 8cm dilated and not in labor is amazing! No wonder they kept you at the hospital!
xo,
s
Sarah @ The Strength of Faith says
Oh Sherry. Prayers for you as you continue to heal. You are such a strong woman.
Lindsay says
Wow, amazing story, Sherry. Water works, for sure! You are a strong woman with such a loving husband and a beautiful little girl!
Tina says
holy moly! what a crazy/emotional/scary/happy day. i feel like i should give you a big hug now. I’m so so glad you both came out of it healthy! thank you for sharing this story, i can see how it was hard for you to write about, and bring back all those scary moments. i was tearing up for sure. Clara is one lucky girl, especially b/c you two are her parents.
Tina
p.s. Me and my sister are about 4 years apart and are very close now, so wait as long as you need to, to have clara’s sibling, they’ll be close b/c you guys are good parents. :) (not that you wouldn’t wait)
Sara says
I’m not a mother so I have no words to say I can relate but thanks for sharing your story. The part: gave me chills and brought me to tears. So happy for healthy Clara and healthy mama! May God bless you all!
Brittany says
My mother had a placentia abruption with her 5th child, unfortunately it happened at home and my little brother did not make it. But she got pregnant again a few years later, the Dr’s had her on high risk alert and were able to catch signs of complications very early on. My youngest brother was born very premature but he was healthy, and strong, and at 16 is a 6 foot 4 beast that you’d never know was so tiny at birth. Miracles do happen and my brother and your Clara are wonderful examples of that. Thank you for sharing your amazing story.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry to hear about your little brother who didn’t make it. I can’t even imagine. But I’m so glad that your mom went on to have a healthy and strong (albeit early) baby boy afterwards. That gives me so much hope and strength.
xo,
s
Ginger says
What an incredible story. You are truly blessed with a miracle baby. She is beautiful. You have me crying at my desk (at work no less). I can’t imagine how scary that would be. My youngest was born with the cord around his neck twice and when he came out and didn’t cry, the silence sounded like a loud deep drum to me. It truly was deafening. It was only seconds before he cried, but it did seem like forever!
Debra says
You are so strong and brave, what a story. Clara has the best parents ever and you have the most wonderful Husband. Happy almost 1 to little Clara!
linda says
WOW! what a terrifyig story with such a wonderful ending!!!!!
AngieC says
I have been reading your blog daily for quite a while now but never left a comment. But today, I had to after reading your story. I am in tears. You are so very lucky to have Clara – enjoy every precious moment.
My baby girl slipped away when I was 36 weeks pregnant and I didn’t even know it. It was a terrible tragedy that changed our lives forever. I can tell you from experience that when you are ready to try again, it will be scary as hell. It will be the longest 40 weeks of your life. We mustered up the courage to try again and have an amazing 8 month old son who we love so very much. But now that he is here, we are done. I am way to scared to do it again. We wanted 2 kids and we have 2 kids, one here, and one forever in our hearts.
And good for you for writing and sharing. I started a blog after my daughter died and have met so many moms and dads with similar stories to mine (and yours). It helps to get it out and know that you’re not alone…
Sorry for the long comment but I just wanted to say thanks to both of you for having the courage to write this post. Whether you realize it or not, it will help someone out there to read it.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss. How absolutely heartbreaking. But I’m so happy to hear that you now have an amazing 8 month old son!
xo,
s
Gin says
Wow!! I have to tell you I needed to see this. So you may have written it for you but it allowed me to work through some of my own feelings on my birth experience. My baby girl is only 8 weeks old and I’m still processing. You are one strong woman I cried reading this. My labor wasn’t nearly as scary but we did have complications that required labor induction when all I wanted was a natural birth. I think we as women put so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to the perfect birth when really all that matters is a healthy baby and mama. Congrats on little Clara’s big one year birthday :)
Jennifer says
Amazing story! Thanks for sharing it with us.
Dana M says
I lost count of how many times I teared up reading your story. How blessed you are to have such a gorgeous baby girl. I’m so thankful that everything was okay and you have little Clara to bring you happiness each day. Your strength amazes me.
Carrie says
As I was reading this I found myself holding my breath to make the heart squeezing fear ease up as tears streamed down my face all the while repeating to myself in my head, “You know the ending, you know the ending. They are ok; it ended with a healthy baby.” And now I want to give all three of you big hugs. And I can’t quit crying. I knew based off of some of your comments that it was a traumatic experienced but I cannot imagine how intense living it must have been. Thank you for sharing and exposing your emotional event to the world.
I had a miscarriage 12 years ago; it was the worst day of my life. I understand why you would be nervous throughout your next pregnancy. My two best friends had babies within 4 months of each other two years ago; the first baby born had the cord wrapped around his neck and was blue when he came out. We were standing outside the door during delivery and it was heart stopping terrifying. Thankfully he is a healthy, very busy toddler now. And none of us cried until it was over either. Shock just took over. The second baby was born without complications and it was an easy labor, but my best friend hemorrhaged not once but twice. She was the color of ash and icy to the touch and I kept asking why she wasn’t getting blood. Finally they gave her two units of blood and after I had left the hospital (it was my brothers birthday and my mom had a family dinner planned) I got the phone call from her husband to get back to the hospital. She ended up having surgery to remove part of the placenta that didn’t detach from her uterus and everything ended well, but it was terrifying. We almost lost her because the doctor didn’t want to have to do surgery.
Anytime a baby is born 100 % healthy with no complications for the child or the mother I am absolutely and utterly amazed.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Carrie I’m so sorry for your loss 12 years ago. And I’m so glad to hear that your best friends and their babies were ok after all that scariness.
xo,
s
Charlotte says
Wow. Just wow. It’s things like this that remind us how fragile life truly is. On the same day that Clara was born, a friend of mine (a seemingly healthy 29 year old) died suddenly and inexplicably at home. At any given moment, people are dying and others are being saved, babies are being born, some of them barely eking their way into this world and others showing up like it’s no big deal. To try to see the logic behind who gets lucky and who doesn’t is exhausting. It just inspires me to live every day as fully as possible and to enjoy every little blessing that I have. Your family is so lucky and so strong to have gotten through such a terrifying experience. I’m so impressed that you’re willing to pregnant again. You’re an amazing lady, Sherry Petersik.
YoungHouseLove says
I am so sorry to hear about your friend who passed away on the day that Clara was born. What a sad and unexpected thing. She (and her family and friends) are in my thoughts.
xo,
s
Rachel says
Thank you for sharing your story. I am, like all of the other readers, so happy that everything turned out well for you, John, and Clara. She is an amazing little lady with an equally amazing mom and dad. I hope you have a fantastic celebration for her first birthday!
Bethie says
Wow. What a story. I read it while feeding my own baby girl and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. Thank you for sharing. It certainly isn’t any of our business (but we were all curious!).
Our birth story was much less scary should you find some extra blogging time on your hands:
http://miltonsmanor.blogspot.com/2011/01/charlottes-birth-story.html
Susan says
Ok, I’m crying, what an emotional and beautiful story. What a treasure Clara is, thank you for sharing such a life-changing event.
Rachel says
Wow. Just wow. I am 31 weeks along and reading that gave me goosebumps. I have had nothing but issues with my pregnancy, and what happened to you, John and Clara is what I fear the most. You are so blessed and lucky to have an amazing medical team.
I can understand why you would wait so long to share this.
Rachel
Rebecca says
Thank you for reminding me of how BLESSED I am! I’m sitting here at my desk in our auto repair shop with our 4 week old baby daughter at my feet. She was born (in a hospital) in just 7 minutes.
My first delivery was much longer, but it to had a wonderful outcome, of a healthy baby girl!
So, a word of encouragement…each birth is different! Hopefully your next one will go to the other extreme of amazingly smooth!
Thanks for sharing!
elaine says
wow. thank you so much for sharing. xo.
laura says
Sherry, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sitting in my office crying right now. What courage you have for sharing this day with the world.
Sophie says
Oh my gosh, I read through this and cried so hard.
To think that so many bad things could have happened and instead you were so lucky and got this perfect, beautiful little girl. I always thought she was so wonderful but I think now Miss Clara has earned herself another level of appreciation, as have the both of you.
<3
Megan says
Sherry, you and Clara are some incredibly strong girls! Thank you for taking the time to write this story and share your experience, it’s so uplifting (despite the scariness) to see such a wonderful family come together and fight through.
Alex says
This post left me blubbering like a baby.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 2 years. I get this thought in my head, “we need to get pregnant and three months later we’re out of the woods” but it’s not true. And I hear stories about ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages and coupling that with the fact that I WILL be a high risk pregnancy because I get blood clots with elevated estrogen levels. And so I’ve been dealing with that stress only to find out yesterday that I don’t even ovulate. That for 2 years we have gone month by month with heart ache and a false hope that something could happen. I get so frustrated because I should have a one year old. And now I have 80 hurdles set before me and my heart is broken.
And when you talk about guarding your heart, not wanting to get your hopes up, I can relate…I think. After some healing and more doctor visits and more drugs I’ll be able to imagine being pregnant, let alone carrying a child full term.
Angela says
Thanks for finally sharing your story :) My cousin and her husband had a high risk pregnancy/special needs child just over 3 years ago. Cayman was actually born without a portion of her brain. ( Live Life In Wonder ) However, there were no complications with their second child who was born just three months ago! She has a really touching post about almost losing Cayman and she said it also helped her to write about it.
And seriously…could Clara have more beautiful eyes!?
YoungHouseLove says
What a sad heartfelt story. Thanks for sharing the link. And it’s so great to hear that they had a second child without any complications just three months ago!
xo,
s
Robin Grey says
I’m crying right now. I know (almost) exactly what this feels like and your post took me right back there. My daughter was born at 27 weeks and tried to come, but was held off, at 23 weeks. When she did come it was not the routine, happy delivery that I had with my son 8 years before. It was harsh, and fast, and terrifying. I was paralyzed with fear, ,just like you describe. It WAS like an out of body experience. And when she didn’t cry. I also cried for her. My daughter is almost two (on May 25th) now and “perfect” in every way. She had a 50% chance of having some really big complications at her gestational age and the doctors just can’t find any tiny little thing wrong with her, nothing. Every doctor she’s had has released her; cardiologists, opthamologists, neonatologists, developmental specialists, occupational therapists. You name it, we’ve been there – and don’t go there any more!!
We also want another child and to be frank, the thought of being pregnant again actually makes me physically sick. You’re not alone. Thank you for sharing your story. I think we mothers tend to feel like we’re the only ones that go through these trials and it helps to know there are others like us out there.
RhodeyGirl says
I’m sitting her sobbing.
And while it was so scary and so on, you are so blessedly lucky everything ended so well.
Thank you for sharing.
Briel K. says
What an amazing story. You have me tearing up here at work! Thank you for sharing Clara’s birth story Sherry. I’m SO glad that everything turned out well for you guys! That must have been so scary.
Kate says
What a tough emotional time that must have been for you. I am sitting here on the verge of tears just trying to imagine how you must have felt! wow. You are truly blessed with such a miracle baby!
Debbie W. says
Thank you for sharing. I know first hand how scary it is – minus the prolasped cord!! I too had a placenta abrution at home when I was at 32 weeks and home alone with my 4 year old daughter. It was so scary and still all a blur. I had to call an ambulance and my husband missed her entire birth!
Clara is beautiful and a true blessing to you both!
xoxo,
Debbie
Cydney says
You know it is funny…I have never read many blogs until my sister-in-law started one 2 years ago. She was a designer that started writing a design blog. She passed away almost a year ago in an accident and since then I have kept reading blogs in her honor. I came across yours a few weeks ago and have really enjoyed reading about your projects and sweet Clara. Thank you for sharing this story. I am pregnant with my 2nd child now and still terrified just like the first time. Reading this has made me realize their are miracles out there. Thank you again.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Cydney. Thinking of you and your family.
xo,
s
Christina S. says
Wow – I am in tears! Thank you for sharing with us. I hope that writing about it has made you feel a little more at peace with the situation. What a miracle Clara is!
Rachel @ Healthy Teacher says
This story is harrowing, heart-wrenching, and incredibly. What a happy ending! I completely understand your fear. I’ve never had a baby, and my husband and I have recently discussed, but I am so afraid of complications that I find myself somewhat paralyzed in terms of making a decision.
Lili says
Oh Sherry, you are so brave to share this with the world. I was so stressed just reading it, as if I did not know the ending… You are so blessed. I love coming to this blog every day and reading it, gaining advice, laughing with you (and sometimes at you ;)) and watching your sweet family grow. I pray that you can heal in your heart, and take this miracle as what it is- a miracle. Clara is apparently not only a special girl to you, but she’s going to impact the world in some way… I believe that miracles happen to set us apart, and that is what her life is. She is going to be a blessing to many.
Jordan Adsit says
Thanks for sharing such a scary, but amazing story. Clara is lucky to have y’all as parents, too.
Lizzie says
I know how you felt with the scary labour. I also had a placental abetting, but whilst I was only 26 weeks pregnant so my son was born 14 weeks premature. They took ten minutes to resuscitate him when he was born, it was actually worse for my mother who was my birth partner as I was so intent on getting the baby out whereas my mother was able to focus on the situation as a whole, so poor John!
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry to hear about your son’s complications but so glad to hear that he was ok. And I agree, in some ways it’s the worst for the person watching from the sidelines (like John and your poor mom).
xo,
s
Crystal says
Wow! I know about scary birth stories – me and my Bug almost died in labor – but I didn’t realize how scary things were while they were happening – I didn’t really understand until after it was all over.
It really makes you appreciate a healthy baby doesn’t it? Hopefully next time around we will both have better stories to tell!
Fawn Becker says
You are so strong to share you story. I also had an emergency c-section (mine was due to a cord around his neck) and I was so scared because they rushed me out and left my husband back in the room to change and he could not find me. Luckily he made it just in time. I am so glad everything turned out well for your sweet family.
Shana C. says
I was so upset and crying for you while reading your Clara birth story. Thank you for sharing…I wish you nothing but happiness with Clara and future baby P’s :)
xoxo
CC says
I am reading this with tears in my eyes! I can understand where you are coming from, though my own experience wasn’t quite as hurried and severe as yours, I do know about the part of going through labor with the baby in distress. I at least got to say (after a much longer day) that we should just do the c-section already. And I can imagine next time that I’ll want to just go ahead with one again. The whole thing gave me a real appreciation of what a medical situation pregnancy and delivery present.
So congrats on Clara’s (approaching) first birthday! She’s a really adorable little girl, and thanks for sharing so much about her goings-on with your readers!
suki says
Wow, so intense! She really is a fighter. :)