It’s nearly a year late (I can’t believe I’m going to be the mother of a one year old in three short weeks). And the reason for the delay is simple. Thinking / typing / talking about the day that Clara was born still scares the pants off of me. Even 11+ months later. This little lady made quite the dramatic entrance.
Yup, the day that Clara came into the world was the most amazing life-changing day of my existence, but it was easily also the single most terrifying one. I’ve mentioned some details a few times in comments on other Clara-related posts (many readers wanted to know all about the bean’s birth right away) but I think now that she’s almost a year old I’ve processed that day enough to really share it fully with the interweb. By no means am I over it (don’t really know if I ever will be), but I can talk about it now without crying. So that’s a start, right? A few friends of mine have actually recommend that I write this post as part of the whole healing process (a lot of the posts that we write are actually for our own benefit since this is just an online diary to document our lives for our own selfish purposes, haha). So I thought it made sense. I know that how Clara came into the world will affect future pregnancies and how nervous/anxious/wary/afraid I’ll be if any of the same complications pop up again, so perhaps talking about it after processing it for almost a year might help me come to terms with it a bit more. So here it goes (deep breaths, deep breaths).
I had an amazing low risk fabulous pregnancy. No high blood pressure. No weird pains. Over 100 days of morning sickness (yes I counted) but that’s to be expected. Or at least tolerated in the name of baking a human. Other than that (and once that ended) it was amazeballs as my girl Bethenny Frankel would say. I felt great. I loved feeling my little bean kicking around in there. I basked in the glory of being prego. I told John I could do it ten more times. Life was good.
My tiny 4’11” mom had two natural (and very fast) child births, so I had high hopes of a normal (if not very quickly progressing) delivery. Maybe without drugs, and maybe with them. I wasn’t going into it with any strong feelings either way, but I had taken some classes on pain management and learned about The Bradley Method so I was actually feeling very bring-it-on by the end. Either way I kept telling myself “in the end the baby will be out and I’ll get to meet her, so no fear is allowed – it’s going to be a happy day – with drugs or without them. No pressure. Just try to go with the flow and relax.” I had orders to “run, don’t walk” to the hospital if I had any signs of labor (my mother had me in four hours and my brother within two) so that had me a little on edge, but the only thing I worried about was having the baby at home or in the car since I feared it would all happen really fast because that runs in the family.
John was working downtown at the time and I was at home without a car (we’re a one car family, so he’d take the car during the day and after he came home we’d run any errands I needed to do). So admittedly the whole being at home without the car thing was kind of scary but I knew about fifty neighbors who volunteered to drive me to the hospital if things got crazy and John couldn’t make it home to get me in time. The funny thing is that he answered his cell phone on the first half-a-ring for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, so I knew he was on high alert and was confident that he’d hightail it home in time (it was only a 15 minute drive).
I never felt a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks) until the day I went into labor, but I knew I was dilated to a 3.5 at 39 weeks (yes I walked around at a 3.5 without going into labor with my first child, which I hear is really uncommon). Clara must have been holding onto the walls in there. So although I was still about a week “early,” my doc said I was going to have the baby any second. Hence John being on high alert. Oh yeah and my belly looked like this. I was officially ready to pop.
I noticed on the morning of May 14th (it was a Friday) that I was having some pretty intense contractions. My first contractions ever (well that I felt). At first they were oddly irregular so I thought it was just prelabor (didn’t even tell John because I didn’t want him to get all crazy and come running home for a false alarm). But slowly they started to establish a pattern and by the time I started timing them they were just four minutes apart. And they were an 11 on the pain scale. I felt like my insides were ripping apart and my back was killing me. I called John who was out to lunch with all of his coworkers to celebrate his very last day at the office (he was resigning to come on full time as a dad/blogger) and told him to get the eff home. He laughed about how good my timing was because he was just finishing his burrito. I groan-cried in the middle of a contraction and he knew I meant business. So home he came flew.
By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were already two minutes apart. I remember having a hard time even walking from the car to the door because they were just coming nonstop and they were bring-you-to-your-knees painful. I thought I might have a baby right there in the parking lot. They sent me straight into labor and delivery. As we waited for the doctor to arrive and check my progress my water broke in the hospital bed- but instead of being clear it was red. So much blood. Very scary. I didn’t even see most of it (thanks to my giant belly and the sheet over my lower half) but John did along with my OB who happened to be in the room. John’s face went white and the OB snapped into hyperdrive.
Immediately the room filled with frenzied nurses and doctors and they explained that I was having a placental abruption, which happens when the placenta has inexplicably detached from the uterine wall. This is very bad news before the baby is born. And it explains the feels-like-my-body-is-ripping-apart pain I’d been experiencing. It’s an extremely dangerous complication for the baby (since they get their nourishment from the placenta and can go into shock and die) and the mother can hemorrhage (and can also die in cases of extreme bleeding). So it was a pretty dire situation all around (although nobody stopped to explain it, the look on the doctor and nurse’s faces kind of said it all).
Within about a minute they had me in the OR and within three minutes they had sweet baby Clara out thanks to an amazingly fast emergency c-section. They saved her life by acting so fast.
It was a blur. All I remember was them running my gurney into the walls while turning corners in the hallway trying to get me into an ER as fast as possible. They looked panicked. And it scared the heck out of me. I didn’t care about me or my body – just the baby. I remember screaming inside of my head “just cut her out of me, cut and I don’t care if I feel pain or if I get hurt or if I have scars all over, just save her. Do it right here in the hallway if you have to.” Of course my lips weren’t moving. It was one of those out-of-body mind screams that nobody else can hear.
John suddenly wasn’t with me. They just left him behind and ran with me down the hall calling up to get emergency doctors and nurses on hand since the main OR was already in use for a scheduled c-section. I remember people popping out of doorways saying “I’ll help” and joining the frenzied mob and going over all of my stats (blood type, number of weeks prego, etc) while saying things like “baby in distress” and “profuse bleeding.” I couldn’t have created a scarier nightmare scenario in my head if I tried. Lots of people swarmed into the OR in the next thirty seconds. But no John. I could barely breathe at the thought of something going so wrong without him by my side. Once they had me fully prepped for surgery (which happened within less than a minute, they were so amazing) someone must have run off to get him.
I wish I could say it was thanks to me calling out for him but I was in shock so I couldn’t talk or even move. I was frozen. It almost felt like I wasn’t even there and I was watching it all happen to someone else on TV. John says he remembers standing in the hallway as everyone ran off with me. So freaked out and completely alone. Just waiting. That always makes me cry when I think about it. I didn’t know it at the time because of the chaos, but someone had tossed scrubs at him when I was being wheeled out (he would need them since it had to be a sterile environment for the c-section) so he was just standing there in the hallway wearing his scrubs and waiting. And going crazy. Finally someone came out to retrieve him and he was allowed to come hold my hand right as they started to cut. I just stared at him. I was frozen. I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I was just in shock at how quickly everything was happening.
Once they opened me up they saw that not only was Clara in distress from the placental abruption, but the umbilical cord had somehow been pinched (which is called “cord prolapse”) so she was without oxygen while fighting to make it through the abruption. I heard them toss out the word “cord prolapse” (they didn’t have time to explain what was going on, so I learned the details later) but in my odd state of panic and shock I thought they were talking about someone else. I was the one with a placental abruption. The scariest page of my birth book at home. The one I didn’t even read because it wouldn’t happen to me because I didn’t have high blood pressure or any of the other risk factors. My baby couldn’t also be dealing with cord prolapse. How could that be? Who could be that unlucky? Then they said “she’s not going to cry ok – don’t wait for her to cry just try to stay calm and breathe slowly.” That was when my heart broke and I started to cry. I guess I was crying for her.
I couldn’t see anything thanks to the screen they threw up before cutting into me, but they were right. She didn’t cry when they yanked her out with all of their might. All I remember was extreme pressure but no pain. Well, no physical pain. Emotional pain = off the charts. They had NICU specialists standing by, and when I heard them say “NICU” out loud that it was the first time I actually thought “what if this doesn’t end the way I thought it always would? What if all those pep talks I gave myself about it being a happy day because “drugs or no drugs I would get to meet my sweet baby girl” weren’t going to be true?
John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong when he saw all the blood before they whisked me away. And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying. John later confessed that once he was allowed into the OR to hold my hand that he couldn’t really watch as they pulled her out of me, even though he was much taller than the screen they had set up to block my view. Not because he was afraid of the blood or passing out, but because he didn’t want to see our baby “not make it.”
But after about one felt-like-eternity minute they got her to moan. Kind of like a kitty meowing. It was so soft and weak and just heart breaking. I remember thinking “I want her to cry so she’s ok, but I don’t want to hear her if she’s not going to be ok because I’m falling in love already. I can’t hear her moan and then fall silent- she has to start wailing. Right now!” But no dice. I remember thinking that all the silence felt so loud. Like it was almost deafening to listen so desperately for some sign of a cry. Clara got a 4 on her initial Apgar test, which we later heard is usually the lowest score you can get before permanent brain damage if things don’t improve by the five minute Apgar retest. They didn’t announce the time of birth or her weight very loudly or say anything like in the movies, you know like “it’s a girl!” or “happy birthday!” or “what’s her name?” and she didn’t come lay on my chest. I still couldn’t even see her thanks to the screen they had put up to block the surgery. They were all just working on this baby that I couldn’t even see. My baby. And I just stared at John in a silent freeze, tears in my eyes but nothing coming out of my mouth. At some point after closing me up the doctor said “she’s bleeding – she reopened, get over here” and half of the team ran back to work on me. My incision which had been sewn and stapled shut had reopened and I could hear from the doctors tone that it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I still wasn’t scared for me. In any other scenario it would have been intensely alarming, but I had a one track mind: the baby. I want to hear the baby cry.
It felt like five years went by (in reality it was less than five minutes) but slowly the people working on me thinned out and the people working on Clara seemed to start moving more casually and slower. As if it wasn’t such an emergency anymore. I remember thinking “this is either a very good or a very bad sign.” Thankfully, by her five minute Apgar test she pinked up, cried a glorious and spirited cry, and got a 9 (we later learned that the five minute Apgar retest is the most important and revealing one). They said that a 9 was as close to perfect as it gets and that even super healthy children rarely get 10s. And they told us that it was so great that she rebounded so well and was looking fantastic. She was a fighter for sure. They even let John go over and see her (I was still strapped down so I had to wait).
She wasn’t out of the woods yet, but we didn’t know that at the time, so we started to rejoice and John even took some video on the iPhone to bring back over to show to me since I hadn’t even laid eyes on her yet (we were so lucky that the iPhone happened to be in John’s pocket before all hell broke lose, otherwise we wouldn’t have any documentation of Clara’s birth at all). We later learned they were somehow testing her cord blood to see if she was without oxygen for so long that she sustained permanent brain damage. Only when the test came back all-clear (indicating that there were no worries of that) did the nurses and doctors really seem to relax.
Apparently infants who live after a placental abruption have a 40-50% chance of complications, which range from mild to severe (and sometimes mothers who survive end up with a hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging). Only then did it start to sink in how lucky we really had been. And what a miracle our baby girl really is.
Finally, after what literally felt like days, they wrapped her up and brought her over to me. My arms were strapped down from the surgery, so John held her right near my head and I just stared at her in disbelief. I was still in shock, and bloated with fluids from the IV along with fear and disbelief and unconditional love.
What did I do to deserve such a happy ending? How would I have survived coming home empty handed to a beautiful nursery that I shared with the world while being so confident that I was guaranteed a cute little baby to put in that crib? Basically it was the scariest day of our lives, and I still ask why. Why me (in that annoying “poor me” way) and why me (in the “why-was-I-so-lucky-she-was-spared” way). But the main thing I feel is full. Of relief. Of gratitude. Of love for my little fighter. My little miracle. I’m SO THANKFUL that the doctors and nurses worked so quickly to come to her (and my) rescue. I’ll never know for sure, but if another team had been on duty I don’t know that I would have had the same outcome. They were just so on it. So invested and so amazing. And I can’t even begin to think about what could have happened if I wasn’t in the hospital when I started bleeding.
Other nurses and doctors in the hospital dropped in to see us for days just to tell us how lucky we were (news of our complications were apparently the talk of the hospital). We even had a friend on another floor (coincidentally she was there on the same day that I went into labor for a pre-term labor scare) who had overheard nurses and doctors talking about “that woman who had both a cord prolapse and a placental abruption at the same time but the baby actually survived.” Only later did she find out that it was me they were talking about. I still get chills when I think about that. How lucky we were. How scary it was. And how gorgeous and amazing that little girl in my arms was. And still is.
So that’s the story of the scariest/best day of our lives. Whew. No wonder we’re obsessed with the girl.
As for if those complications are more likely to occur with any subsequent pregnancies, cord prolapse is totally random and can happen to anyone, so it doesn’t become more likely if you’ve experienced it before (but it’s rare, so if you’re prego and reading this story know that my combination of complications were about as likely as winning the lottery). However, placental abruption is more likely to reoccur (around one in four women experience it again) and it can happen as early as around twenty weeks (when the baby isn’t viable yet, which means the baby wouldn’t make it). So it can be devastating and scary. I have strict orders to wait at least two full years between pregnancies to let everything heal up nice and strong, which probably means over three years between Clara and her younger brother or sister, assuming all goes well. I’m fine with the wait since I’m happy to just enjoy Clara for a while and take that time to continue to process the whole birth experience and build up my courage. But I’m sure when I’m pregnant again I’ll be much less happy go lucky about it.
Which is really sad. John keeps begging me to let it be the same joyful and unabashedly exciting time as it was before. But I know myself. And I’ll be on high alert. Searching for any signs or symptoms that something’s wrong. And scared even if there aren’t any signs of trouble (because there weren’t any before I started feeling contractions with Clara- it just all came out of nowhere). I’m scared that I might even be afraid to get a nursery ready. You know, so as not to jinx things. So my plan is to know myself, and accept that I’m going to be scared. But to do my best to enjoy it as much as I can and remind myself that I now know what an abruption feels like (so I should instantly be able to identify it) and that I have more information than I had with Clara (plus the doctors also know about my history now that I’ve had it happen). So I’ll hopefully have just as good of an outcome should it reoccur, as long as it doesn’t happen before the baby is developed enough to be delivered.
But I’m not gonna lie. I’m going to be petrified.
I also might be a “high risk” pregnancy next time without any chance of natural labor (if signs of another abruption occur they’ll rush me to a c-section if the baby is old enough to live outside the womb). I’m ok with that. Anything for a healthy baby. Now not only am I open when it comes to drugs or no drugs, I’m totally down with a c-section too. Slice and dice, baby. Whatever it takes.
Liz says
Thank you for sharing your story… sending hugs to your whole family!
Melanie says
I can see why it makes you cry, because it made ME cry! What an incredible story – so glad you ended up with a healthy, happy and adored baby!
Rachael says
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am petrified to have kids because of stories like this. I’m so happy for you and your family that everything worked out as it should. Clara is such a cute baby and I’m happy she’s healthy too.
regina says
Happy Birthday, Clara. You are a lucky duck to have such wonderful parents. Every day together is a precious gift.
tammy says
Sooo good for you to write it out. I had some very scary experiences my self when it came to having babies and writing has been such awesome therapy for me. So glad you all were so lucky.
Nicole Grove says
Wow. Your adventure with Clara literally had me in tears the entire time I was reading it! What a scary experience…I don’t blame you at all for feeling how you do not only about sharing your story, but worrying about any more children. I would be the exact same way!
The only thing I can say is, whether you, your readers, etc pray to/believe in God, outside of a religious aspect, you and John are just incredibly good people. Kind, giving, generous. That kind of Karma that you put out into the world doesn’t just go without being paid in return. I’d say Clara was a good start in that payback process :)
Brianna says
Sherry, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m 13 wks pregnant, and while part of me is terrified to read birth stories, (especially scary ones like this), I also feel so much better prepared, so much more ready to go with whatever is thrown our way, so much more grateful for every day that goes by where baby is ok and I’m ok. A nurse recently gave me a little talking to (I was put on bed rest for a few days, and apparently wasn’t taking it as easy as I was supposed to), and she told me to remember that every day is a gift and a miracle, so I have to accept that I may not be able to do things I normally do, and if I just have a hunch that something isn’t right, go to urgent care or the ER. It’s one thing to hear that, but another thing to take it to heart. Your story makes me take it to heart. Thanks again for sharing!
Ellen says
Thank your for sharing Clara’s birth story with all of us. My daughter was born a few months before Clara and I still haven’t been able to write it all down.
She was born at 35 weeks and spent 15 days in the NICU before we could bring her home. (Thankfully, she is now a wonderfully healthy 15 month old!) I struggle every time I sit down to write it all out. I am feeling inspired by your courage so maybe today is the day!
Happy (early) Birthday to Clara! And to you and John — one whole year as parents!
Christina J says
Wow…thanks for sharing your story and so happy for you and your family. My third child and I were near code blue and it was the scariest moment in my life, not to mention my husband standing beside me with a blank face.
Laura Jinkins says
Oh, Sherry! John! Clara! I’m so sorry you had to experience this and so grateful that everything turned out okay. Clara is a beautiful little bean, and the love you feel for each other as a family is so evident in your writing. My heart ached at the picture you drew of John standing in that hallway after you were whisked away to surgery. So very, very glad that you are all okay! :)
Coco says
Thank you for sharing your story. My triplets came into the world fast and furious. Thankfully they were healthy and came home with me which is rare for triplets. I have two older children that had “text book” deliveries. I don’t remember my triplets delivery because it happened so fast and I was scared. We didn’t even get many pictures because my husband was trying to stay calm for both of us. I am sad, angry, and depressed that I can’t remember their delivery as clearly as my older two. It’s “comforting” to know my feelings are experienced by other moms too.
We are getting ready to celebrate their 1st birthdays at the end of May and I know we have been blessed beyond belief. We are throwing one heck of a 1st birthday party to make up for the lost memories of the day they entered the world.
Happy birthday to Clara!
Jenny says
Thanks for sharing…so scary but I’m glad everything worked out for you. It’s crazy how things can change in a minute. My fourth was a placental abruption(I thought my water broke, but lo and behold it was a bloody mess.) Luckily they got my bleeding to stop and I was able to deliver him naturally. Turns out his cord was uber short, hence the abruption. I was terrified to have another one. I was sure it would happen again…but everything was fine-another short cord, but no abruption. I’ll admit though, I was on pins and needles until he was in my arms. I love your blog- you guys are fantastic and Clara is oh so cute! Enjoy celebrating her birthday…my oldest is turning 12 next week and it has all gone by like a blur!
YoungHouseLove says
So happy to hear that you had a healthy non-abruption pregnancy after yours! Makes me so hopeful.
xo,
s
Anne G. says
Sherry –
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I cried, and bit my lip, and smiled through it as if I was there. You’re a great writer!
I had a traumatic medical experience about 5 years ago that left me anxious and scared and hyper-sensitive to pain. I tried something called EFT and it worked so well. You might consider looking into it. Google “faster EFT” and take a look at some of the videos on Youtube.
Thank you again for sharing this beautiful story.
heather says
wow. I am so sorry that you guys had to go through this, but so happy that the ending was a truly blessed one.
One little tidbit – about the chance of it reoccurring and the viability of the baby at 20 weeks. The latest studies have shown that viability is at 18 weeks now (and babies will get even more viable as technology becomes even more amazing) – so if/when you guys do get pregnant again, I just wanted you to be prepared and alert (not scared or frightened) if the main focus is on the viability factor and time period. I hope this made sense. Blessings to you and your family!
YoungHouseLove says
That’s amazing news. See, you guys are so good at helping me get more courageous by the minute. Thanks so much to everyone for the kind words. I mean it. They really make all the difference in the world.
xo,
s
Shan says
Wow, that had me in tears. I’m so happy everything worked out for all of you. Thank-you for sharing your miracle with us.
My mom cries every year on birthday after having gone through something similar. She was right around 30 weeks when on her way home the grocery store someone ran a red light and t-boned her (they think he was drinking). Her water broke, and she was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. My dad was on his way out of town for a business trip. Mom had an emergency C-section without my dad there. I can’t imagine being all alone and having to go through that! They managed to get a hold of my dad at the gate, and he rushed to the hospital in time to see me carted off to the NICU, because I wasn’t breathing. On top it all mom had to deal with her own injuries and the injuries our dog sustained in the accident as well. It was scary for all involved.
I spent 6 weeks in the NICU, and now 27 years later you’d never know that I was a preemie (just been accepted to Columbia for my masters!). It took my mom a few years to even consider getting pregnant again because she was terrified. But they did and I have a wonderful though occasional pain in the @ss younger brother.
Happy early birthday, to the miraculous little cutie!
Melissa says
Sherry,
Thanks for sharing your story. You are one amazing mother and yes, her survival was definately a miracle. I think in addition to the amazing team of dr’s, there was another presence in that room that was pulling for Clara.
I totally understand why you’d be nervous for your next pregancy. Any one would with that type of situation. I think it is a good thing though that you recognize it will be different again. You’ll be able to work on working through those emotions. Just look over at that adorable little girl whenever those emotions pop up and know that in the end you have an amazing daughter.
Thanks so much for sharing your life with us readers. I look forward to logging onto your blog each day and catching a glimpse of a day in the life of you guys. Reading this post was like hearing a good friend tell me the story-i had chills and tears in my eyes…
Ellen says
Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story.
I had a miscarriage in February and I found that being able to talk about it – on my own blog, in other online forums and with friends was so helpful to me in healing emotionally.
I’m so glad that your story had such a beautiful ending (i.e. Clara, who just radiates joy right through my computer screen…)
Holly says
Today is the first day I’ve seen your blog. This post was the first post I read. At 28 weeks pregnant, I was a mess reading this. I knew everything would be okay at the end, but I felt real pain and emotion for your experience on that day. God bless you and your husband and your sweet baby girl. I said a prayer for your next pregnancy, and I’m wishing you all the best.
xo,
H.
Miranda says
Wow, I also teared up and I am not a crier! A friend of ours is a nurse in delivery. About a month ago, this happened to one of the mothers that came in. She was actually a surrogate mother for another couple, and was pregnant with twins. They were able to save one of the babies, but the other one and the mother died. Our friend (the nurse) took several weeks off work to grieve. It was the first mother that staff had lost, and it affected the whole ward.
Thank God you and your little Clara made it through. She’s actually one of the reasons I began to want to start a family. My husband has been ready, but I’ve been hesitant. She is just so sweet and cute it made me notice that my heart has been softening to the idea.
We’ll bathe your next pregnancy in prayer. May He continue to heal you and protect your family.
YoungHouseLove says
What a heartbreaking story. I’m so sorry for all of the families and the nurses and doctors involved. I can’t even imagine.
xo,
s
amanda says
I don’t know how you can do this without crying cuz I’m sitting at work crying! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your little girl is just precious and perfect, I never would have imagined her life began that way.
Laura@JourneyChic says
Sherry, I was on pins and needles reading this and had tears in my eyes. My son is just a few months younger than Clara, and his birth also resulted in an unplanned c-section – but it was NOTHING like what you went through. Thanks to your clear writing I can imagine exactly how I would have felt in that situation. I must have learned about those two possible problems but ignored them (like you, I had a very uneventful pregnancy). Thank God for putting fast, amazing doctors in the right place at the right time to save you and your little girl.
alma says
I am sitting at work, reading and literally balling my eyes out.I hope my boss doesn’t come in!You are a strong woman and you are blessed. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I am sure that it was very difficult. So THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! My son was born early and was in the NICU for less than 24 hours but it felt like the longest 24 years. I cherish every moment with him!
Claire Tenwick says
Tears. Tissues. Smiles.
Amazing post. Thank you for sharing your most personal thoughts and emotions.
C
Kerry says
Wow. Wow wow wow. That is an incredible story. This whole miracle of life is… pretty miraculous, especially when it doesn’t go as planned. Our baby #2 was born 5/6/10 — the lil’ bugger surprised us with a fast labor and he was delivered by firefighters in the nursery. Every single day, I think how absolutely lucky we were that there were no complications.
Karen says
Very emotional post. Amazing outcome to a terrifying experience. Clara is a blessing to your growing family! :)
Melanie says
Thanks for sharing. We also have a scary first birth story – my son was born 9 weeks early. But my second birth was perfect besides the constant worry the entire 9 months. So I feel for you – it will be hard to get through the next pregnancy but you’ll do it and you’ll have a wonderful baby to hold and love!
Kathy says
I’m sitting here at work, with tears running down my face after reading this.
I totally understand that feeling of things happening to someone else and watching it pass by. My pregnancy was horrible with my daughter but the birth was smooth and wonderful. I joke that if I could just give birth I would have more babies….but we chose to wait to decide if we wanted more children until after our daughter turns 3.
I’m glad we made the decision to decide later, because last November, my husband had a stroke. He is 27. Having him be not responsive for hours was scary. I look back and just remember watching it like it was on TV. The IVs and the tests and the nurses and the doctors. It’s all fuzzy and just gets overwhelming if I try to think about it. We transferred hospitals and I don’t even remember the drive. The people I met in the ICU waiting room seem to be like actors in a drama on TV. Being there when the family lost their teenage daughter after days of her fighting for her life after a car accident, the uncle that was driving was drunk at the time and he lived. The daughter who was a cop in the Portland city police force that was there daily, her mom at 85 had a stroke. We later saw them up on the recovering floor when we got out of the ICU a week later.
It’s amazing the stress and recovery and pressure and emotions that are included in a hospital emergency like that.
I’m so glad everyone recovered well and pray that your future children are as beautiful and blessed as Clara!!
Piper says
Maybe it’s because tomorrow morning we are leaving Texas to drive to the East Coast to have our just-adopted one year old daughter placed into our arms… I totally just sobbed through reading Clara’s birth story! Thank you for sharing your incredible experience with us. What a testimony, not only to the dedicated medical personnel who helped you both survive her delivery, but also to you and Clara’s fighting spirit and the love in your family. <3
"Felecia says
What an awesome story! My first was born by emergency C after an uneventful, better than normal pregnancy too. He scared the living daylights out of me. For the second one, I waited 3 years. It was good to wait. I was ready emotionally and totally planned to have a C section to avoid the potential complications. I totally hear ya on how watchful and frightened you can be. I was far more in touch with the miraculous nature of the whole thing the second time around. Clara is adorable! You would never know she had such a dramatic entrance!
Maggie says
Incredible birth story….made me tear up multiple times! So happy for you & your adorable miracle baby! :)
Lisa says
Thanks for sharing your story. For those of us who have any kind of complications with our pregnancies and/or deliveries, this certainly brought back all the emotions that we went through. More importantly, it helped us to feel an intense gratitude for what we’ve been given.
Your little girl is beautiful and amazing!
Katie J. says
Thank you for sharing! It was very moving. I can’t imagine experiencing something like that. You are so strong and your family is truly blessed!
Kelsey says
Wow, you really need to put a disclaimer on this… I sat down to my lunch break at work excited to read this and ended up crying and splotchy! You are truly blessed to have a healthy baby and, even more than that, one who seems perfect in every way. Seriously, how does that much cute and happy fit in such a tiny person? Thank you so much for sharing!
Nicole says
My heart breaks for you. I also had a scary, emotional delivery experience with my daughter. I understand how you must of felt. Thanks so much for sharing and congrats on such a beautiful little girl and family! Someone was definitely watching out for you that day : )
Natalie says
Three years ago my sister had a very hard labor and delivery. It’s amazing how those mommy instincts kick in and how all you can think about and care about is your baby. How blessed you three are (and Burger too) to have such a complete family!
You two seem like such great and fun parents… all the kids are going to be wanting to come over to your house after school to hang out :)
Kate (and Ben) says
Wow. This is an amazing story and so impressive that you’re willing to share it with so many strangers. No wonder it took you so long to write it out.
-K
Megan says
Goodness. That made me cry. I’m so glad that you all were able to bring home a healthy baby girl. God is good.
Robyn says
Sherry, thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m so glad things turned out the way they did for you. I too had a placental abruption at 37 weeks. My story isn’t nearly as dramatic as yours but, like you, I’m already worried about any subsequent pregnancies. Waking up to gushing blood in the middle of the night was one of the scariest moments of my life. In case you’re interested, you can read my daughter’s birth story at: http://garsonkid.blogspot.com/search/label/birth%20story.
BTW — Happy early birthday to Clara and a giant “good job” to you and John!!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks so much for sharing your story! It’s so amazing to read about others and all the healthy babies who came into the world so miraculously.
xo,
s
Jamie B. says
Gosh. I’m not a mother and I’m not sure I’ll ever be one, but that was difficult just to read, I can’t imagine living it. I had to keep reminding myself that Clara was safe and healthy and beautiful, once I even stopped to scroll back up to the picture of her at the top! I’m very grateful to all the doctors and medical staff and that you were able to have such good care. Lots of love to you and your beautiful family.
Christine says
I cried reading your story as well. What an amazing experience. My sister has had several very complicated pregnancies and she never has been able to put into words how she felt. I feel like if she could this is exactly what she would have said. It moved me.
You are so lucky and you have a beautiful family! Just enjoy her as much as you can. Now the good thing is you are at least ready for what may come for baby #2.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Janet says
With my 1st pregnancy I also had what was considered a 30% aburption. I see feel sick when I see/type the word… Thank god, my daughter was fine, early but fine. I too was fine as well. My 2nd pregnancy was 3 years later she was healthy and no signs of anything. I understand your feelings. I was terrified with my 2nd. Take care.
Kiersten says
Wow!
I’m sure you know just how blessed you are/were to have God’s hand on the three of you that day- the timing, the nurses and doctors, the iPhone. Wow.
My baby is 6 months old now, and during my pregnancy and after he was born, I thought, “if there was ever any doubt before, I am sure now that only God could be the author of such miracles.” growing a human! How amazing!
Thanks for sharing, Sherry. Happy early birthday to your sweet little bean.
Laura says
I’ve followed your blog every day for months now but I had to comment on this post. Thank you for sharing your birth experience. It moved me to tears.
I think those of us who make an entrance with a bang are destined for greatness. It’s the sneaky little trick they play on us. ;)
I hope reflecting on Clara’s birth becomes easier for you.
molly says
Wow…thank you for sharing your story. I visit your site daily & sat here this morning (as 3 of my boys played/wrestled/etc at my feet) and cried. What a traumatic experience. And what a beautiful ending!
Rachel says
What at emotional story!! I cried just reading it, so I can’t imagine it actually happening!! Thank you for sharing such a hard story. I’m so glad you and Miss Clara are okay!! God has a very special plan for your family!!!
Thanks again for being brave and sharing!!
Micha says
And guarding angels were working overtime to keep you and Clara safe. What a scary experience for you three but we’re glad to see you are here safe and sound after this. You are an incredibly strong woman and we’ll pray for you whenever you are ready to plan for a sibling for darling Clara. You deserve a happy-go-lucky pregnancy!
Amy K @ Chestnut Tree Lane says
Thank you for sharing such an intimate personal moment with us, your readers. It was beautifully written.
Lisa says
Healthy babies really are miracles, aren’t they? Modern medicine is great and has made so much progress but at the same time the factors you can’t control and don’t anticipate can totally blindside you. My aunt lost a full-term baby due to cord prolapse in the early ’70s, after adopting two children because she was told she wouldn’t be able to conceive. My son was born at 38 weeks last June — I was going to be induced due to high blood pressure and elevated liver enzymes that came out of nowhere, but then my water broke and Nolan arrived naturally 12 hours later. I felt so lucky and thankful. I remember being so worried even after I went into labor — every time I thought I didn’t hear the beep of the heart monitor or feel him moving…
Jen says
I’m very newly pregnant, and I can’t even imagine going through what you did. He was surely with you that day. Clara is a miracle (as if you didn’t already know this).
Emily says
I was also in tears reading this–isn’t it amazing how much we care about people we get to know online? You guys feel like good friends to me, for welcoming me into your home day after day, and I am sincerely overjoyed that all turned out well both for you, Sherry, and for Clara. Phew–I just feel like total relief that you made it! As if it happened just now! I wish you guys all the best celebrating this first year of Clara, and many more happy and healthy years ahead!