It’s nearly a year late (I can’t believe I’m going to be the mother of a one year old in three short weeks). And the reason for the delay is simple. Thinking / typing / talking about the day that Clara was born still scares the pants off of me. Even 11+ months later. This little lady made quite the dramatic entrance.
Yup, the day that Clara came into the world was the most amazing life-changing day of my existence, but it was easily also the single most terrifying one. I’ve mentioned some details a few times in comments on other Clara-related posts (many readers wanted to know all about the bean’s birth right away) but I think now that she’s almost a year old I’ve processed that day enough to really share it fully with the interweb. By no means am I over it (don’t really know if I ever will be), but I can talk about it now without crying. So that’s a start, right? A few friends of mine have actually recommend that I write this post as part of the whole healing process (a lot of the posts that we write are actually for our own benefit since this is just an online diary to document our lives for our own selfish purposes, haha). So I thought it made sense. I know that how Clara came into the world will affect future pregnancies and how nervous/anxious/wary/afraid I’ll be if any of the same complications pop up again, so perhaps talking about it after processing it for almost a year might help me come to terms with it a bit more. So here it goes (deep breaths, deep breaths).
I had an amazing low risk fabulous pregnancy. No high blood pressure. No weird pains. Over 100 days of morning sickness (yes I counted) but that’s to be expected. Or at least tolerated in the name of baking a human. Other than that (and once that ended) it was amazeballs as my girl Bethenny Frankel would say. I felt great. I loved feeling my little bean kicking around in there. I basked in the glory of being prego. I told John I could do it ten more times. Life was good.
My tiny 4’11” mom had two natural (and very fast) child births, so I had high hopes of a normal (if not very quickly progressing) delivery. Maybe without drugs, and maybe with them. I wasn’t going into it with any strong feelings either way, but I had taken some classes on pain management and learned about The Bradley Method so I was actually feeling very bring-it-on by the end. Either way I kept telling myself “in the end the baby will be out and I’ll get to meet her, so no fear is allowed – it’s going to be a happy day – with drugs or without them. No pressure. Just try to go with the flow and relax.” I had orders to “run, don’t walk” to the hospital if I had any signs of labor (my mother had me in four hours and my brother within two) so that had me a little on edge, but the only thing I worried about was having the baby at home or in the car since I feared it would all happen really fast because that runs in the family.
John was working downtown at the time and I was at home without a car (we’re a one car family, so he’d take the car during the day and after he came home we’d run any errands I needed to do). So admittedly the whole being at home without the car thing was kind of scary but I knew about fifty neighbors who volunteered to drive me to the hospital if things got crazy and John couldn’t make it home to get me in time. The funny thing is that he answered his cell phone on the first half-a-ring for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, so I knew he was on high alert and was confident that he’d hightail it home in time (it was only a 15 minute drive).
I never felt a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks) until the day I went into labor, but I knew I was dilated to a 3.5 at 39 weeks (yes I walked around at a 3.5 without going into labor with my first child, which I hear is really uncommon). Clara must have been holding onto the walls in there. So although I was still about a week “early,” my doc said I was going to have the baby any second. Hence John being on high alert. Oh yeah and my belly looked like this. I was officially ready to pop.
I noticed on the morning of May 14th (it was a Friday) that I was having some pretty intense contractions. My first contractions ever (well that I felt). At first they were oddly irregular so I thought it was just prelabor (didn’t even tell John because I didn’t want him to get all crazy and come running home for a false alarm). But slowly they started to establish a pattern and by the time I started timing them they were just four minutes apart. And they were an 11 on the pain scale. I felt like my insides were ripping apart and my back was killing me. I called John who was out to lunch with all of his coworkers to celebrate his very last day at the office (he was resigning to come on full time as a dad/blogger) and told him to get the eff home. He laughed about how good my timing was because he was just finishing his burrito. I groan-cried in the middle of a contraction and he knew I meant business. So home he came flew.
By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were already two minutes apart. I remember having a hard time even walking from the car to the door because they were just coming nonstop and they were bring-you-to-your-knees painful. I thought I might have a baby right there in the parking lot. They sent me straight into labor and delivery. As we waited for the doctor to arrive and check my progress my water broke in the hospital bed- but instead of being clear it was red. So much blood. Very scary. I didn’t even see most of it (thanks to my giant belly and the sheet over my lower half) but John did along with my OB who happened to be in the room. John’s face went white and the OB snapped into hyperdrive.
Immediately the room filled with frenzied nurses and doctors and they explained that I was having a placental abruption, which happens when the placenta has inexplicably detached from the uterine wall. This is very bad news before the baby is born. And it explains the feels-like-my-body-is-ripping-apart pain I’d been experiencing. It’s an extremely dangerous complication for the baby (since they get their nourishment from the placenta and can go into shock and die) and the mother can hemorrhage (and can also die in cases of extreme bleeding). So it was a pretty dire situation all around (although nobody stopped to explain it, the look on the doctor and nurse’s faces kind of said it all).
Within about a minute they had me in the OR and within three minutes they had sweet baby Clara out thanks to an amazingly fast emergency c-section. They saved her life by acting so fast.
It was a blur. All I remember was them running my gurney into the walls while turning corners in the hallway trying to get me into an ER as fast as possible. They looked panicked. And it scared the heck out of me. I didn’t care about me or my body – just the baby. I remember screaming inside of my head “just cut her out of me, cut and I don’t care if I feel pain or if I get hurt or if I have scars all over, just save her. Do it right here in the hallway if you have to.” Of course my lips weren’t moving. It was one of those out-of-body mind screams that nobody else can hear.
John suddenly wasn’t with me. They just left him behind and ran with me down the hall calling up to get emergency doctors and nurses on hand since the main OR was already in use for a scheduled c-section. I remember people popping out of doorways saying “I’ll help” and joining the frenzied mob and going over all of my stats (blood type, number of weeks prego, etc) while saying things like “baby in distress” and “profuse bleeding.” I couldn’t have created a scarier nightmare scenario in my head if I tried. Lots of people swarmed into the OR in the next thirty seconds. But no John. I could barely breathe at the thought of something going so wrong without him by my side. Once they had me fully prepped for surgery (which happened within less than a minute, they were so amazing) someone must have run off to get him.
I wish I could say it was thanks to me calling out for him but I was in shock so I couldn’t talk or even move. I was frozen. It almost felt like I wasn’t even there and I was watching it all happen to someone else on TV. John says he remembers standing in the hallway as everyone ran off with me. So freaked out and completely alone. Just waiting. That always makes me cry when I think about it. I didn’t know it at the time because of the chaos, but someone had tossed scrubs at him when I was being wheeled out (he would need them since it had to be a sterile environment for the c-section) so he was just standing there in the hallway wearing his scrubs and waiting. And going crazy. Finally someone came out to retrieve him and he was allowed to come hold my hand right as they started to cut. I just stared at him. I was frozen. I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I was just in shock at how quickly everything was happening.
Once they opened me up they saw that not only was Clara in distress from the placental abruption, but the umbilical cord had somehow been pinched (which is called “cord prolapse”) so she was without oxygen while fighting to make it through the abruption. I heard them toss out the word “cord prolapse” (they didn’t have time to explain what was going on, so I learned the details later) but in my odd state of panic and shock I thought they were talking about someone else. I was the one with a placental abruption. The scariest page of my birth book at home. The one I didn’t even read because it wouldn’t happen to me because I didn’t have high blood pressure or any of the other risk factors. My baby couldn’t also be dealing with cord prolapse. How could that be? Who could be that unlucky? Then they said “she’s not going to cry ok – don’t wait for her to cry just try to stay calm and breathe slowly.” That was when my heart broke and I started to cry. I guess I was crying for her.
I couldn’t see anything thanks to the screen they threw up before cutting into me, but they were right. She didn’t cry when they yanked her out with all of their might. All I remember was extreme pressure but no pain. Well, no physical pain. Emotional pain = off the charts. They had NICU specialists standing by, and when I heard them say “NICU” out loud that it was the first time I actually thought “what if this doesn’t end the way I thought it always would? What if all those pep talks I gave myself about it being a happy day because “drugs or no drugs I would get to meet my sweet baby girl” weren’t going to be true?
John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong when he saw all the blood before they whisked me away. And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying. John later confessed that once he was allowed into the OR to hold my hand that he couldn’t really watch as they pulled her out of me, even though he was much taller than the screen they had set up to block my view. Not because he was afraid of the blood or passing out, but because he didn’t want to see our baby “not make it.”
But after about one felt-like-eternity minute they got her to moan. Kind of like a kitty meowing. It was so soft and weak and just heart breaking. I remember thinking “I want her to cry so she’s ok, but I don’t want to hear her if she’s not going to be ok because I’m falling in love already. I can’t hear her moan and then fall silent- she has to start wailing. Right now!” But no dice. I remember thinking that all the silence felt so loud. Like it was almost deafening to listen so desperately for some sign of a cry. Clara got a 4 on her initial Apgar test, which we later heard is usually the lowest score you can get before permanent brain damage if things don’t improve by the five minute Apgar retest. They didn’t announce the time of birth or her weight very loudly or say anything like in the movies, you know like “it’s a girl!” or “happy birthday!” or “what’s her name?” and she didn’t come lay on my chest. I still couldn’t even see her thanks to the screen they had put up to block the surgery. They were all just working on this baby that I couldn’t even see. My baby. And I just stared at John in a silent freeze, tears in my eyes but nothing coming out of my mouth. At some point after closing me up the doctor said “she’s bleeding – she reopened, get over here” and half of the team ran back to work on me. My incision which had been sewn and stapled shut had reopened and I could hear from the doctors tone that it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I still wasn’t scared for me. In any other scenario it would have been intensely alarming, but I had a one track mind: the baby. I want to hear the baby cry.
It felt like five years went by (in reality it was less than five minutes) but slowly the people working on me thinned out and the people working on Clara seemed to start moving more casually and slower. As if it wasn’t such an emergency anymore. I remember thinking “this is either a very good or a very bad sign.” Thankfully, by her five minute Apgar test she pinked up, cried a glorious and spirited cry, and got a 9 (we later learned that the five minute Apgar retest is the most important and revealing one). They said that a 9 was as close to perfect as it gets and that even super healthy children rarely get 10s. And they told us that it was so great that she rebounded so well and was looking fantastic. She was a fighter for sure. They even let John go over and see her (I was still strapped down so I had to wait).
She wasn’t out of the woods yet, but we didn’t know that at the time, so we started to rejoice and John even took some video on the iPhone to bring back over to show to me since I hadn’t even laid eyes on her yet (we were so lucky that the iPhone happened to be in John’s pocket before all hell broke lose, otherwise we wouldn’t have any documentation of Clara’s birth at all). We later learned they were somehow testing her cord blood to see if she was without oxygen for so long that she sustained permanent brain damage. Only when the test came back all-clear (indicating that there were no worries of that) did the nurses and doctors really seem to relax.
Apparently infants who live after a placental abruption have a 40-50% chance of complications, which range from mild to severe (and sometimes mothers who survive end up with a hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging). Only then did it start to sink in how lucky we really had been. And what a miracle our baby girl really is.
Finally, after what literally felt like days, they wrapped her up and brought her over to me. My arms were strapped down from the surgery, so John held her right near my head and I just stared at her in disbelief. I was still in shock, and bloated with fluids from the IV along with fear and disbelief and unconditional love.
What did I do to deserve such a happy ending? How would I have survived coming home empty handed to a beautiful nursery that I shared with the world while being so confident that I was guaranteed a cute little baby to put in that crib? Basically it was the scariest day of our lives, and I still ask why. Why me (in that annoying “poor me” way) and why me (in the “why-was-I-so-lucky-she-was-spared” way). But the main thing I feel is full. Of relief. Of gratitude. Of love for my little fighter. My little miracle. I’m SO THANKFUL that the doctors and nurses worked so quickly to come to her (and my) rescue. I’ll never know for sure, but if another team had been on duty I don’t know that I would have had the same outcome. They were just so on it. So invested and so amazing. And I can’t even begin to think about what could have happened if I wasn’t in the hospital when I started bleeding.
Other nurses and doctors in the hospital dropped in to see us for days just to tell us how lucky we were (news of our complications were apparently the talk of the hospital). We even had a friend on another floor (coincidentally she was there on the same day that I went into labor for a pre-term labor scare) who had overheard nurses and doctors talking about “that woman who had both a cord prolapse and a placental abruption at the same time but the baby actually survived.” Only later did she find out that it was me they were talking about. I still get chills when I think about that. How lucky we were. How scary it was. And how gorgeous and amazing that little girl in my arms was. And still is.
So that’s the story of the scariest/best day of our lives. Whew. No wonder we’re obsessed with the girl.
As for if those complications are more likely to occur with any subsequent pregnancies, cord prolapse is totally random and can happen to anyone, so it doesn’t become more likely if you’ve experienced it before (but it’s rare, so if you’re prego and reading this story know that my combination of complications were about as likely as winning the lottery). However, placental abruption is more likely to reoccur (around one in four women experience it again) and it can happen as early as around twenty weeks (when the baby isn’t viable yet, which means the baby wouldn’t make it). So it can be devastating and scary. I have strict orders to wait at least two full years between pregnancies to let everything heal up nice and strong, which probably means over three years between Clara and her younger brother or sister, assuming all goes well. I’m fine with the wait since I’m happy to just enjoy Clara for a while and take that time to continue to process the whole birth experience and build up my courage. But I’m sure when I’m pregnant again I’ll be much less happy go lucky about it.
Which is really sad. John keeps begging me to let it be the same joyful and unabashedly exciting time as it was before. But I know myself. And I’ll be on high alert. Searching for any signs or symptoms that something’s wrong. And scared even if there aren’t any signs of trouble (because there weren’t any before I started feeling contractions with Clara- it just all came out of nowhere). I’m scared that I might even be afraid to get a nursery ready. You know, so as not to jinx things. So my plan is to know myself, and accept that I’m going to be scared. But to do my best to enjoy it as much as I can and remind myself that I now know what an abruption feels like (so I should instantly be able to identify it) and that I have more information than I had with Clara (plus the doctors also know about my history now that I’ve had it happen). So I’ll hopefully have just as good of an outcome should it reoccur, as long as it doesn’t happen before the baby is developed enough to be delivered.
But I’m not gonna lie. I’m going to be petrified.
I also might be a “high risk” pregnancy next time without any chance of natural labor (if signs of another abruption occur they’ll rush me to a c-section if the baby is old enough to live outside the womb). I’m ok with that. Anything for a healthy baby. Now not only am I open when it comes to drugs or no drugs, I’m totally down with a c-section too. Slice and dice, baby. Whatever it takes.
Wintry Mix says
Wow. I’m currently 4 months pregnant with our first, so I had real hesitation before diving into this post, because I could tell from the opening that it was going to be an intense story. And it WAS terrifying to read, and I bawled my eyes out, but I’m still glad that I read it.
Sherry, thank you so much for having the bravery to put this out there into the universe. It is such an inspiring reminder of the miracle of life and how precious children are. I know I don’t really “know” you, but nonetheless I feel so moved by your experience and your willingness to share it. Thank you. I hope that telling the story will help you continue to heal from this ordeal, and I wish you and John and Clara every happiness.
Javi says
Hi Sherry and John and little Clara,
So I’ve been “stalking” your website for quite a little while…. and been completely content just reading, until I saw this post.
I’m a mom to a little 7 month old girl myself and I don’t think I made it through the entire post without bawling every couple of seconds. I can’t even imagine how you two must have been feeling but oh my goodness, what a little blessing your little bean is!
You guys are an amazing little family and Clara is so lucky to have you two!
hugs, from philly.
andrea worley says
Such an amazing story, Clara is a miracle!!
Carley says
You show amazing strength not only to share (and relive) this experience, but in the way you describe that day.
We also had an emergent situation when our son was born. Not to the degree you are experienced. I understand the lack of control and helplessness of it all.
You have such a beautiful family! Blessings to you all!
Anna See says
Oh my goodness. Terrifying and traumatic, to say the least. I am so glad your precious Clara is perfect!
Melody says
Sherry,
I can’t believe how uncannily similar our birth stories are–blissful pregnancy, normal labor right until the end, abrutption, scary c-section, low initial Apgar, and ended up with a healthy baby girl. I’m in tears reading your post. My daughter is 12 weeks old and I haven’t fully processed her birth yet. We haven’t even really told the whole story to everyone. Your words give me strength, and relief to know that another mom out there knows what I went through. Thank you so much.
Jas says
Wow, that’s scary. Can’t even begin to imagine how traumatic it was for you. I’m far from having kids, but you story will always be in the back of my mind when the day comes…totally cried while reading it.
Btw, I think Clara looks just like you! (esp that picture on your Flickr when she’s wearing John’s hat)
KatelynLikesThis says
Ah! That’s crazy what you went through. Thank God for modern medicine! My mother had the same thing happen when she gave birth to my younger brother back in the early 80’s. I’ve never heard of it happening to anyone else, so you’re right – obviously – it is quite rare. She was shocked too, since her first labour with me was very easy and straightforward.
Clara’s beautiful though! Best of luck next time too.
Anne says
I have twin boys, now 10 years old, whom I was told were very likely not going to survive the pregnancy. They are, along with my daughter, the light of my life and not a day goes by, even a decade later, that I don’t think of the what if?–if they hadn’t been able to pull through. My first pregnancy with my daughter was perfectly normal and she was born without any complications, so pregnancy complications seemed like something that happened to other people, not to me. Clara is most definitely a blessing, and I think she knows it too–what a smile she has! :)
Radhika Paruchuri says
Sherry and John, Glad that it had a happy ending and wish you all the best! I can’t imagine what was going through both your minds while all this was happening. I would be a nervous reck too. So Glad that Mom and Baby are well and healthy now! Clara is obsolutely beautiful and precious!
Alason says
Sherry,
I sobbed like a baby when I read your story about little Clara’s birth. I work in OB and I’ve seen the both the happiest and saddest of outcomes. I am so glad that your little angel is perfect in every way, and I wish you the best of luck when you have another. Thanks so much for sharing it with us, I’m sure it wasn’t easy!
Hannah says
Thank you for sharing your story. It is incredibly brave of you to share something that personal. I’m all weepy at work! :)
Julie says
I understand how you feel. I developed HELLP syndrome at the end of my first pregnancy which caused me to have an emergency C-section. It had gone overlooked because I didn’t have the most common and most frequently tested symptom of HELLP — high blood pressure. I, like you, had never even heard of this complication and had been so careful to study and take classes and get prepared for childbirth but neglected to even consider a C-section! I was blessed with a healthy baby, but it made me so scared about my second pregnancy since HELLP is more likely to occur if you’ve had it before and if it happens early on in the pregnancy can be much more dangerous for both mommy and baby. My doctors stayed on top of it (knowing what to look for this time) and of course I did alot of praying. I am happy to report, though, that lightning doesn’t always strike twice because on my second go round there was no signs of HELLP and I was blessed with a second beautiful and healthy baby. I pray that you are just as fortunate as I was with your second pregnancy. Just remember, God is in control even when life gets scary. Thanks for sharing your story. You have a precious family!
Andrea B says
Sherry,
I read your post a few hours ago at work and had to come back to post a response. It took me awhile to process it all. Like many others who have responded before me, reading your story was an emotional experience. It was haunting, raw, and ultimately a celebration of life and blessing. Thanks for sharing it.
My husband and I would love to have a family and while this story is terrifying to me, it is also a powerful testament to the depth of love you both have for each other and for your daughter. It is obvious she is a constant source of joy.
p.s. Happy Early Birthday to your precious miracle baby, Clara!
Bekah says
God has big plans for that little girl.
leatitia says
I can’t imagine what you must have been through. I’m pregnant with my first baby and I always try to stay positive about the delivery because I really have no control as to how the delivery will take place. I try not to freak about complications, but us women, we often think of the worst that could happen.
I wish you happy pregnancies and happy deliveries. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us.
Every healthy child is a miracle, your little Clara truly is one. God bless.
Kélé says
Your story made me cry several times and get the chills. What an experience. Thanks for sharing. Makes you stop and think about what is most important in life.
Tiffany T. says
Words are not enough to share the fear, hope, and joy for your family that I felt while reading your story. You are blessed and it re-enforces that miracles happen everyday. Life has a way of surprising everyone. This coming from someone who was not supposed to live either..
Yay life!
Monica says
Thank you so much for sharing. I am a worry wart with no kids, and I have always feared my nerves could never handle having a baby. Your courageous story was very inspiring to me. God bless your family.
jbhat says
{{HUGS}} Big SQUEEZY ones for all of you, especially Sherry.
Love you guys.
jbhat
KatieO says
I just BAWLED my way through this post. I am so glad for your amazing miracle!
maryb says
Oh sherry… thank you for writing this. I have cried through the whole thing and im so relieved that it was a happy ending. clara is destined for amazing things
Clare says
What an incredible story – thanks so much for sharing something so personal with all of us. I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and I have to remind myself daily to set aside the worries about pregnancy and delivery and try to enjoy this time. Little kicks and punches (like the one I just felt – it’s fantastic every time) help remind me too.
Elisabeth@SimpleGreenishLiving says
Thank you for sharing your story. We had a relatively uneventful birth but it was natural, lots of pain, lots of back labor, lots of blood, lots of screaming while I pushed. After the fact I just kept thinking to myself, how do these nurses and doctors deal with this everyday, how is this their job!? It’s so stressful, and so emotional, and at any second it can go from being completely routine to a life or death situation. However they manage to do it, I am so thankful for them! I am certain that God handpicked each and every doctor and nurse who was there with you that day to save your life and the life of your precious girl! Gosh, I wish I had time to read each and every person’s comments on this post…so many words straight from the heart. Little Clara is such a miracle! Your story makes me want to squeeze our little guy just a little bit tighter and to be even more grateful for the amazing gift that he is and the relatively smooth birthing experience we were blessed to have.
Allison says
I had to stop reading this so I wouldn’t start crying in front of my third graders. God is looking out for your little family and I am so thankful you had the courage to share this story with everyone. You have no idea how much just this one post will change lives! Congrats on a beautiful healthy girl!
Lindsey says
Thanks for sharing – I’m so glad you got your baby girl here safe and sound – she’s BEAUTIFUL!
mindee says
OMG. I’m so thankful that everything turned out OK. My friend Meagan had the nightmare come true and came home without her baby boy. Heartbreaking. I can’t imagine.
I had a preemie at 34 weeks and was so confused and also dismayed and frantic as to what was happening. Our little girl also came out silent, which is terrifying. After 10 days in the NICU, she came home. Felt so fortunate.
God bless! Thank you for sharing your heartwrenching story- Clara is amazing and even moreso a miracle baby!
Jade says
I too had tears in my eyes. It brought me right back to the day my daughter was born which was in a planned c section. It was not a thousandth as dramatic and traumatic as Clara’s birth but it was scary, intimidating and emotional. You are so brave and strong. It always makes me feel so proud to be a woman when I hear birth stories especially ones like yours. You can’t tell me you’re any less brave than a warrior in battle. It must have been scary for your husband too. You’ve been so blessed that there was a happy ending. I’m sure you are grateful for her everyday.
Z says
Thank you for sharing your amazing story. Clara is very lucky to have such loving parents. Your family is loved by many.
My husband always reminds me that no matter how bad life seems, it could always be worse, and often is for someone else. We’ve been trying to conceive for 2 years now. We’ve had multiple heart breaking miscarriages. But I can’t even imagine going through what you had to go through. I know that if I am lucky to ever have a successful pregnancy, we will be plagued with 9 months of worry. I’m very glad you had a good outcome. I can’t imagine this blog, this world without your sweet, happy little miracle.
Wren says
Bawling my eyes out. My niece was born via C-section after placental abruption 3 years ago. My SIL and I are very close, this brought back so many memories of what a horrible, painful time that was. Baby Ellie is now a happy, healthy, vivacious 3 year old…oh but those moments of waiting were hard, SO hard.
As a mother of 4 – I know so well, that feeling of “just let them cry!” Thank you or sharing your amazing story. Clara is a precious gift.
MelissaG says
With over 1300 comments I’m guessing someone has said this already but…please don’t feel bad if you are sad/depressed etc. even though you have a healthy baby. I know a healthy baby is most important but births have a way of really affecting people. Mine was maybe 1/8 as scary as yours but a few things happened that I obsessed with a bit. Some of the things I still think about. Sometimes it doesn’t sneak in as much until nursing ends. Hopefully not with you but just be aware that the possibility is very real.
So happy that you are able to share this story with us.
Brandi says
Thanks for sharing. It’s posts like this that validate all of the time I waste reading blogs. Every so often, someone writes a post that gives words to your own feelings. For this one, for me, it was the double why me, why did this happen/why am I so lucky that I went through after having a baby with a heart defect that after a rough start is doing so very well today. Thanks again.
Anne says
Thank you Sherry for sharing this with your readers. You are a very brave & lucky lady. Our daughter was born 22 years ago and that day is still clear in my head. I think things like this are forever imprinted in our hearts so we can appreciate the lovely normal days.
After a picture perfect pregnancy, went into labor on the due date….hours later after complications, baby stuck…panic! I recall the feelings of helplessness as everyone rushed around me, all you pray for is for the baby to be okay. Luckily for us, after the emergency c-section everyone was healthy. Three years later I gave birth vaginally to a healthy baby boy.
You & John are an amazing young couple and Clara is so blessed.
PS…the 22 yr old is graduating college next week!
maria says
Wow, sherry thanks for your vulnerability. what troopers you guys are and what a miracle story.
jdzjane says
You guts definately went through a lot. But Praise God – look at the little miracle He Blessed you with. God truely kept His had on you. I’d give God all the glory for it – what a testamony of God’s love and grace.
Abbie says
It’s stories like this that remind us that God is in control! He is just as in control with deliveries like yours as He is with “routine” deliveries. He gave you guys a miracle story…He must have great things in store for Clara! She is certainly not ordinary:). God bless and happy birthday sweet Clara!
denisef in c'ville va says
i can’t believe how much this made me tear up! god speed to all parents out there.
Katie says
Sherry,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, your devoted readers :) I totally got a lump in my throat reading it and cannot imagine how scary that day was for you and John. I also had a perfect pregnancy until it went very wrong…at 33 1/2 weeks my doctor discovered that my daughter wasn’t growing and that she was in a frank breech presentation (which is why I never felt any movement…sad and scary). I was developing high blood pressure as well, all signs of pre-eclampsia. At one of my twice-weekly appts (I was exactly 35 weeks) I had a worrisome ultrasound and non-stress test. Then they discovered protein in my urine and that’s when things went from bad to worse. My doctor said to go straight to the hospital–don’t stop at home, don’t stop anywhere. Luckily I had my bag packed and in the car :) We got to the hospital around 1:30pm and at 3:17pm our beautiful daughter was born by c-section. She was a tiny 3 lb 9 oz and 16 1/2 inches long. She looked like a little doll. She cried right away which was a great sign but was taken straight to the Special Care Nursery. I didn’t see her again until about midnight because my BP was so high they wouldn’t let me out of bed. I was on Magnesium Sulfate to prevent seizures (can you say scary??). The meds made me so loopy that I didn’t trust myself to hold that tiny creature. It was late afternoon the next day before I actually held my precious baby girl. She spent 3 weeks in the hospital before coming home weighing 4 lb 8 oz :) Now she is 9 1/2 months old and weighs a whopping 20 lbs! She’s amazingly perfect and healthy. I have been meaning to write a birth story for my daughter to read when she’s older so she knows how lucky she is. Reading yours has inspired me to get started! Just like you, that day in July was the scariest but happiest day of my entire life. I know exactly how you feel about being terrified to be pregnant again…now I will be considered “high risk” and will be monitored closely throughout the entire pregnancy. My same complications may not happen again but the fear will be in the back of my mind the whole time. I have realized how strong women are to handle the ups and downs of pregnancy! Thanks again for sharing your story!
Sarah says
I’m happy that you decided to share your story. It’s very personal and i’m so so SOOOO happy that the outcome was great for you and your family. You have a beautiful miracle and i’m sure that your future bean(s) will be beautiful miracles as well. Best wishes for you all.
Thais says
Wow.
It’s funny how you read a blog because it’s entertaining and you never notice how emotionally invested you get with the people. I cried the entire time I read your story. Although most of us don’t know you guys personally you just seem like wonderful people. My heart broke for both of you and I am so glad that you have your beautiful miracle.
Amy B. says
Sherry,
I don’t know you (obviously), but I am obsessesed with the blog and that cute little girl of yours. I was so blessed to share a birth story without any complications. I just wanted to say “thank you” for sharing. It makes me realize how much I take for granted with my 17-month-old. Regardless of how our children come into the world, it’s so important to love them and remind them of how much you love them every day.
Natalie says
Sherry,
How brave you are for sharing this amazing story. I am a RN on a labor and delivery floor with almost 10 years experience, and you are right… winning the lottery is nearly more likely than your two “worst pages of the birth book” scenarios combined. I wept as I read your story. Because as I read it I know what your “chances” were/are in either case.. and then I would scroll to the top of the blog and see her big smiling face. Many times when we have “bad” situations at work I pray that God will guide our hands and that His will be done, through us as his instruments. I have been involved in many situations where I actually felt God’s presence, and despite not knowing your faith, I think God must have been with you through this entire ordeal. And he was with John in that hallway. He was with your doctors, and Clara’s. He was there. There is no other explanation. Because this would not have been the outcome otherwise.
I hope it was cathartic to write this story down, regardless of the blog, that it was a meaningful journey to “go back” to that day. I know there are no words in the English language that could give us a clear picture. God bless you and your beautiful family, and God bless Clara, she’s a “sptifire” as my grandmother would say, and I bet this will be the first of MANY things that will amaze you about her.
with joy,
~Natalie
Kristin says
Sherry & John- you two touch more people to the very core than I think you probably even know. I was in complete tears from the 2nd paragraph I couldn’t even hold it in… I had asked once about your ‘miracle baby’ and you so sweetly referred me to a comment you had made prior about why she was a miracle, so, when I saw the title of this post with the cute little picture below I nonchalantly thought ‘oh! nice! I get to hear the whole story!’… I thought I was prepared….but I’m still shaking… and I feel like I could burst into tears again at any moment. I’m just so incredibly touched by this and I don’t even have children. Thank you so much for sharing this Sherry. You both are an inspiration not only for home improvement but for life. And Clara? Well, Clara is just the cutest most perfect darn little miracle baby there ever could be :)
jo says
Having read your blog since before you announced you were pregnant with Clara, I almost feel like I know you guys. My little baby was born four months ago, and so I love all the Clara posts, and I loved all the nursery posts, and I follow you guys on Babycenter, too. I read this post while holding my own little one on my lap. Halfway through, i started to cry, and I noticed she was giving me a concerned look. I told her “don’t worry baby, I’m reading a sad story. Don’t worry, though, it has a happy ending.” She smiled at me and then went to sleep. And I could barely read the rest of the post because my eyes got so fogged up with tears. Sherry, you are brave and strong, and so is John, and your Clara is simply adorable. Thank you for sharing your story – it’s the best cry I’ve had in a long time. I’m so glad this story has a happy ending.
Ashley M says
Sherry and John, thank you for sharing your story. You are so brave to share it with all of us. My heart was racing the whole time I was reading, even though I already knew the happy ending.
Clara is such a beautiful child, and I am so happy and thankful to feel connected (at least through the interwebs) to her and her beautiful parents and family.
All the best from DC,
Ashley
Carrie says
Sherry. I’ve been waiting a year for your story. The same thing happened to me, but it was an umbilical cord abruption. And Abby’s APGARS were 0 at birth, 0 at five minutes, 0 at ten minutes… but she survived. The thing I remember most is my husband’s face when the room filled up with nurses because he had NO IDEA what was happening. But I did. That still makes me cry to this day. Thanks for sharing your story, I have chills because it’s so similar to mine except my daughter had some complications afterward (which are resolving, yippee!)
Here’s a short post with photos about my story, in case you wish to read it (I wrote it two years after her birth):
http://makinglemonadeblog.blogspot.com/2010/07/two-years-ago-today.html
I found connecting with others helped me get over the horror of that day. As for the 2-year wait afterwards, oooops, her brother arrived 22 months after she was born. Happy, healthy, and totally perfect. ;-)
Hugs,
Carrie
YoungHouseLove says
What a scary experience but thanks so much for sharing your story! I’m so glad Abby was such a miracle!
xo,
s
Steph says
First of all, Clara is one beautiful little girl! Being a parent is an amazing journey! And you looked so very cute while you were pregnant!!!!!!!!!
Tears were streaming as I read your story. Our first child was still born…..we, like many, came home empty handed to a nursery that I had so lovingly put together for our baby. I had absolutely no problems throughout the pregnancy…..I was two weeks overdue, and all of a sudden he wasn’t moving. When we went to the hospital and the dr. did an ultrasound…we were coldly told the baby had “expired” and then he walked out. I envy those who have been able to enjoy every single minute of their pregnancy, and they should. Pregnancy is a truly beautiful time. I now have 4 of the most beautiful children (2 boys, 2 girls) but I was an absolute basket case during each one.
Thank you for sharing your story!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Steph I am so so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. Sending a huge hug your way.
xo,
s
lara says
thank you for sharing your story! you have great conversational story telling skills that really make all of us feel like we know you. sharing this personal story brings us even closer. so glad you both pulled through with flying colors!
Carly G says
Sherry,
Your bravery and courage to share this story is incredible. I don’t have any words to express how deeply your reflection of May 14th, 2010 moved me. You, John, and Clara are so blessed and I am so happy for your little family :)
CG
Emily says
Thanks so much for sharing your birth story. I have to admit that as a Mama of a precious 14 month old and with another on the way, it really touched a nerve with me.
You never really know how amazing it is to have a healthy baby, until stories like this pop up. I think it’s something so many of us as parents take for granted.
Happy early birthday to Clara!
(Oh, and I’d be just like you, BTW… on edge and googling every symptom that I had. We all deal with things in different ways and it’s okay to be paranoid.)