It’s nearly a year late (I can’t believe I’m going to be the mother of a one year old in three short weeks). And the reason for the delay is simple. Thinking / typing / talking about the day that Clara was born still scares the pants off of me. Even 11+ months later. This little lady made quite the dramatic entrance.
Yup, the day that Clara came into the world was the most amazing life-changing day of my existence, but it was easily also the single most terrifying one. I’ve mentioned some details a few times in comments on other Clara-related posts (many readers wanted to know all about the bean’s birth right away) but I think now that she’s almost a year old I’ve processed that day enough to really share it fully with the interweb. By no means am I over it (don’t really know if I ever will be), but I can talk about it now without crying. So that’s a start, right? A few friends of mine have actually recommend that I write this post as part of the whole healing process (a lot of the posts that we write are actually for our own benefit since this is just an online diary to document our lives for our own selfish purposes, haha). So I thought it made sense. I know that how Clara came into the world will affect future pregnancies and how nervous/anxious/wary/afraid I’ll be if any of the same complications pop up again, so perhaps talking about it after processing it for almost a year might help me come to terms with it a bit more. So here it goes (deep breaths, deep breaths).
I had an amazing low risk fabulous pregnancy. No high blood pressure. No weird pains. Over 100 days of morning sickness (yes I counted) but that’s to be expected. Or at least tolerated in the name of baking a human. Other than that (and once that ended) it was amazeballs as my girl Bethenny Frankel would say. I felt great. I loved feeling my little bean kicking around in there. I basked in the glory of being prego. I told John I could do it ten more times. Life was good.
My tiny 4’11” mom had two natural (and very fast) child births, so I had high hopes of a normal (if not very quickly progressing) delivery. Maybe without drugs, and maybe with them. I wasn’t going into it with any strong feelings either way, but I had taken some classes on pain management and learned about The Bradley Method so I was actually feeling very bring-it-on by the end. Either way I kept telling myself “in the end the baby will be out and I’ll get to meet her, so no fear is allowed – it’s going to be a happy day – with drugs or without them. No pressure. Just try to go with the flow and relax.” I had orders to “run, don’t walk” to the hospital if I had any signs of labor (my mother had me in four hours and my brother within two) so that had me a little on edge, but the only thing I worried about was having the baby at home or in the car since I feared it would all happen really fast because that runs in the family.
John was working downtown at the time and I was at home without a car (we’re a one car family, so he’d take the car during the day and after he came home we’d run any errands I needed to do). So admittedly the whole being at home without the car thing was kind of scary but I knew about fifty neighbors who volunteered to drive me to the hospital if things got crazy and John couldn’t make it home to get me in time. The funny thing is that he answered his cell phone on the first half-a-ring for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, so I knew he was on high alert and was confident that he’d hightail it home in time (it was only a 15 minute drive).
I never felt a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks) until the day I went into labor, but I knew I was dilated to a 3.5 at 39 weeks (yes I walked around at a 3.5 without going into labor with my first child, which I hear is really uncommon). Clara must have been holding onto the walls in there. So although I was still about a week “early,” my doc said I was going to have the baby any second. Hence John being on high alert. Oh yeah and my belly looked like this. I was officially ready to pop.
I noticed on the morning of May 14th (it was a Friday) that I was having some pretty intense contractions. My first contractions ever (well that I felt). At first they were oddly irregular so I thought it was just prelabor (didn’t even tell John because I didn’t want him to get all crazy and come running home for a false alarm). But slowly they started to establish a pattern and by the time I started timing them they were just four minutes apart. And they were an 11 on the pain scale. I felt like my insides were ripping apart and my back was killing me. I called John who was out to lunch with all of his coworkers to celebrate his very last day at the office (he was resigning to come on full time as a dad/blogger) and told him to get the eff home. He laughed about how good my timing was because he was just finishing his burrito. I groan-cried in the middle of a contraction and he knew I meant business. So home he came flew.
By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were already two minutes apart. I remember having a hard time even walking from the car to the door because they were just coming nonstop and they were bring-you-to-your-knees painful. I thought I might have a baby right there in the parking lot. They sent me straight into labor and delivery. As we waited for the doctor to arrive and check my progress my water broke in the hospital bed- but instead of being clear it was red. So much blood. Very scary. I didn’t even see most of it (thanks to my giant belly and the sheet over my lower half) but John did along with my OB who happened to be in the room. John’s face went white and the OB snapped into hyperdrive.
Immediately the room filled with frenzied nurses and doctors and they explained that I was having a placental abruption, which happens when the placenta has inexplicably detached from the uterine wall. This is very bad news before the baby is born. And it explains the feels-like-my-body-is-ripping-apart pain I’d been experiencing. It’s an extremely dangerous complication for the baby (since they get their nourishment from the placenta and can go into shock and die) and the mother can hemorrhage (and can also die in cases of extreme bleeding). So it was a pretty dire situation all around (although nobody stopped to explain it, the look on the doctor and nurse’s faces kind of said it all).
Within about a minute they had me in the OR and within three minutes they had sweet baby Clara out thanks to an amazingly fast emergency c-section. They saved her life by acting so fast.
It was a blur. All I remember was them running my gurney into the walls while turning corners in the hallway trying to get me into an ER as fast as possible. They looked panicked. And it scared the heck out of me. I didn’t care about me or my body – just the baby. I remember screaming inside of my head “just cut her out of me, cut and I don’t care if I feel pain or if I get hurt or if I have scars all over, just save her. Do it right here in the hallway if you have to.” Of course my lips weren’t moving. It was one of those out-of-body mind screams that nobody else can hear.
John suddenly wasn’t with me. They just left him behind and ran with me down the hall calling up to get emergency doctors and nurses on hand since the main OR was already in use for a scheduled c-section. I remember people popping out of doorways saying “I’ll help” and joining the frenzied mob and going over all of my stats (blood type, number of weeks prego, etc) while saying things like “baby in distress” and “profuse bleeding.” I couldn’t have created a scarier nightmare scenario in my head if I tried. Lots of people swarmed into the OR in the next thirty seconds. But no John. I could barely breathe at the thought of something going so wrong without him by my side. Once they had me fully prepped for surgery (which happened within less than a minute, they were so amazing) someone must have run off to get him.
I wish I could say it was thanks to me calling out for him but I was in shock so I couldn’t talk or even move. I was frozen. It almost felt like I wasn’t even there and I was watching it all happen to someone else on TV. John says he remembers standing in the hallway as everyone ran off with me. So freaked out and completely alone. Just waiting. That always makes me cry when I think about it. I didn’t know it at the time because of the chaos, but someone had tossed scrubs at him when I was being wheeled out (he would need them since it had to be a sterile environment for the c-section) so he was just standing there in the hallway wearing his scrubs and waiting. And going crazy. Finally someone came out to retrieve him and he was allowed to come hold my hand right as they started to cut. I just stared at him. I was frozen. I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I was just in shock at how quickly everything was happening.
Once they opened me up they saw that not only was Clara in distress from the placental abruption, but the umbilical cord had somehow been pinched (which is called “cord prolapse”) so she was without oxygen while fighting to make it through the abruption. I heard them toss out the word “cord prolapse” (they didn’t have time to explain what was going on, so I learned the details later) but in my odd state of panic and shock I thought they were talking about someone else. I was the one with a placental abruption. The scariest page of my birth book at home. The one I didn’t even read because it wouldn’t happen to me because I didn’t have high blood pressure or any of the other risk factors. My baby couldn’t also be dealing with cord prolapse. How could that be? Who could be that unlucky? Then they said “she’s not going to cry ok – don’t wait for her to cry just try to stay calm and breathe slowly.” That was when my heart broke and I started to cry. I guess I was crying for her.
I couldn’t see anything thanks to the screen they threw up before cutting into me, but they were right. She didn’t cry when they yanked her out with all of their might. All I remember was extreme pressure but no pain. Well, no physical pain. Emotional pain = off the charts. They had NICU specialists standing by, and when I heard them say “NICU” out loud that it was the first time I actually thought “what if this doesn’t end the way I thought it always would? What if all those pep talks I gave myself about it being a happy day because “drugs or no drugs I would get to meet my sweet baby girl” weren’t going to be true?
John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong when he saw all the blood before they whisked me away. And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying. John later confessed that once he was allowed into the OR to hold my hand that he couldn’t really watch as they pulled her out of me, even though he was much taller than the screen they had set up to block my view. Not because he was afraid of the blood or passing out, but because he didn’t want to see our baby “not make it.”
But after about one felt-like-eternity minute they got her to moan. Kind of like a kitty meowing. It was so soft and weak and just heart breaking. I remember thinking “I want her to cry so she’s ok, but I don’t want to hear her if she’s not going to be ok because I’m falling in love already. I can’t hear her moan and then fall silent- she has to start wailing. Right now!” But no dice. I remember thinking that all the silence felt so loud. Like it was almost deafening to listen so desperately for some sign of a cry. Clara got a 4 on her initial Apgar test, which we later heard is usually the lowest score you can get before permanent brain damage if things don’t improve by the five minute Apgar retest. They didn’t announce the time of birth or her weight very loudly or say anything like in the movies, you know like “it’s a girl!” or “happy birthday!” or “what’s her name?” and she didn’t come lay on my chest. I still couldn’t even see her thanks to the screen they had put up to block the surgery. They were all just working on this baby that I couldn’t even see. My baby. And I just stared at John in a silent freeze, tears in my eyes but nothing coming out of my mouth. At some point after closing me up the doctor said “she’s bleeding – she reopened, get over here” and half of the team ran back to work on me. My incision which had been sewn and stapled shut had reopened and I could hear from the doctors tone that it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I still wasn’t scared for me. In any other scenario it would have been intensely alarming, but I had a one track mind: the baby. I want to hear the baby cry.
It felt like five years went by (in reality it was less than five minutes) but slowly the people working on me thinned out and the people working on Clara seemed to start moving more casually and slower. As if it wasn’t such an emergency anymore. I remember thinking “this is either a very good or a very bad sign.” Thankfully, by her five minute Apgar test she pinked up, cried a glorious and spirited cry, and got a 9 (we later learned that the five minute Apgar retest is the most important and revealing one). They said that a 9 was as close to perfect as it gets and that even super healthy children rarely get 10s. And they told us that it was so great that she rebounded so well and was looking fantastic. She was a fighter for sure. They even let John go over and see her (I was still strapped down so I had to wait).
She wasn’t out of the woods yet, but we didn’t know that at the time, so we started to rejoice and John even took some video on the iPhone to bring back over to show to me since I hadn’t even laid eyes on her yet (we were so lucky that the iPhone happened to be in John’s pocket before all hell broke lose, otherwise we wouldn’t have any documentation of Clara’s birth at all). We later learned they were somehow testing her cord blood to see if she was without oxygen for so long that she sustained permanent brain damage. Only when the test came back all-clear (indicating that there were no worries of that) did the nurses and doctors really seem to relax.
Apparently infants who live after a placental abruption have a 40-50% chance of complications, which range from mild to severe (and sometimes mothers who survive end up with a hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging). Only then did it start to sink in how lucky we really had been. And what a miracle our baby girl really is.
Finally, after what literally felt like days, they wrapped her up and brought her over to me. My arms were strapped down from the surgery, so John held her right near my head and I just stared at her in disbelief. I was still in shock, and bloated with fluids from the IV along with fear and disbelief and unconditional love.
What did I do to deserve such a happy ending? How would I have survived coming home empty handed to a beautiful nursery that I shared with the world while being so confident that I was guaranteed a cute little baby to put in that crib? Basically it was the scariest day of our lives, and I still ask why. Why me (in that annoying “poor me” way) and why me (in the “why-was-I-so-lucky-she-was-spared” way). But the main thing I feel is full. Of relief. Of gratitude. Of love for my little fighter. My little miracle. I’m SO THANKFUL that the doctors and nurses worked so quickly to come to her (and my) rescue. I’ll never know for sure, but if another team had been on duty I don’t know that I would have had the same outcome. They were just so on it. So invested and so amazing. And I can’t even begin to think about what could have happened if I wasn’t in the hospital when I started bleeding.
Other nurses and doctors in the hospital dropped in to see us for days just to tell us how lucky we were (news of our complications were apparently the talk of the hospital). We even had a friend on another floor (coincidentally she was there on the same day that I went into labor for a pre-term labor scare) who had overheard nurses and doctors talking about “that woman who had both a cord prolapse and a placental abruption at the same time but the baby actually survived.” Only later did she find out that it was me they were talking about. I still get chills when I think about that. How lucky we were. How scary it was. And how gorgeous and amazing that little girl in my arms was. And still is.
So that’s the story of the scariest/best day of our lives. Whew. No wonder we’re obsessed with the girl.
As for if those complications are more likely to occur with any subsequent pregnancies, cord prolapse is totally random and can happen to anyone, so it doesn’t become more likely if you’ve experienced it before (but it’s rare, so if you’re prego and reading this story know that my combination of complications were about as likely as winning the lottery). However, placental abruption is more likely to reoccur (around one in four women experience it again) and it can happen as early as around twenty weeks (when the baby isn’t viable yet, which means the baby wouldn’t make it). So it can be devastating and scary. I have strict orders to wait at least two full years between pregnancies to let everything heal up nice and strong, which probably means over three years between Clara and her younger brother or sister, assuming all goes well. I’m fine with the wait since I’m happy to just enjoy Clara for a while and take that time to continue to process the whole birth experience and build up my courage. But I’m sure when I’m pregnant again I’ll be much less happy go lucky about it.
Which is really sad. John keeps begging me to let it be the same joyful and unabashedly exciting time as it was before. But I know myself. And I’ll be on high alert. Searching for any signs or symptoms that something’s wrong. And scared even if there aren’t any signs of trouble (because there weren’t any before I started feeling contractions with Clara- it just all came out of nowhere). I’m scared that I might even be afraid to get a nursery ready. You know, so as not to jinx things. So my plan is to know myself, and accept that I’m going to be scared. But to do my best to enjoy it as much as I can and remind myself that I now know what an abruption feels like (so I should instantly be able to identify it) and that I have more information than I had with Clara (plus the doctors also know about my history now that I’ve had it happen). So I’ll hopefully have just as good of an outcome should it reoccur, as long as it doesn’t happen before the baby is developed enough to be delivered.
But I’m not gonna lie. I’m going to be petrified.
I also might be a “high risk” pregnancy next time without any chance of natural labor (if signs of another abruption occur they’ll rush me to a c-section if the baby is old enough to live outside the womb). I’m ok with that. Anything for a healthy baby. Now not only am I open when it comes to drugs or no drugs, I’m totally down with a c-section too. Slice and dice, baby. Whatever it takes.
lisa says
I just wanted to say thank you for posting this! My daughter was born one day before Clara and I also had an unplanned c-secion. It helps to hear how others got through the hard and scary times! Thank you again!!
doahleigh says
Wow. No wonder this has been so hard to share. I’m so happy it turned out so well for you guys! You just scared the sh*t out of me over the idea of ever getting pregnant, but aside from that, phew! So happy.
Shelly says
What an absolute blessing and miracle your daughter Clara is!! I had no idea you had such a traumatic experience. I think it’s incredible that you made it to the hospital so quickly. I remember the instructor in the birthing class saying not to come to the hospital until contractions were really close together b/c you’d be wasting time at the hospital, can you believe that!!! I myself had my second child 15 minutes after arriving at the hospital (1 1/2 hours from the time my first contraction started). Amazingly, he was fine, but at two weeks we found out he had a heart condition. He did not respond well to his corrective surgery and ended up on life support. Six (long) days later he somehow emerged. We were awe-struck. Then they began checking for signs of any brain damage (what!) for the next week in the hospital. I only mention this to let you know that although we had different experiences, I understand the fear and pain you were feeling during your delivery, and also the absolute joy and gratitude you felt after realizing that your child would be ok. I never imagined that anything could ever go wrong, but after seeing what I saw, I am grateful beyond words for a healthy child, as I’m sure you are as well. In fact, many times I feel undeserving of such a gift. But believe me, I’ll take it!! Thank you for sharing your story and your blog is adorable!! Cheers to Clara!!!!!!
Emily says
Thank you for sharing. And I hope you realize that God played a part in it too. He is there for us and miracles only happen through Him. I’m so glad that it turned out to be a miracle and not a tragedy.
Carrie says
Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been. Please allow yourself to feel whatever hits you at any given moment. I, too, ended up with a birth experience far, far from what I imagined, what all my friends had experienced…complete with the husband tucked away in a room “waiting” for the nurse to come get him and she never did (I didn’t know this until I woke up.) Nearly 5 years later, I *still* get weepy thinking about it and how robbed I felt of that euphoric birth experience. It’s tough because people expect you to just move on because after all, “you have your beautiful baby.” But that’s not how it works when you’ve been through something like that…as you are well aware now. So take care of yourself and don’t try to suppress that stuff or force yourself to put it behind you simply because that’s what everyone expects.
Also, I wanted to comment on how amazing it is that you’ve been able to have such a fantastic and lasting nursing relationship with Clara given the events of those first hours and days. I think that speaks volumes about your awesome strength and the hospital staff (a c/s alone often warrants more “help” with nursing…I can only imagine they were even more helpful considering all the other complications). Clara is one lucky little dumplin’!
YoungHouseLove says
All the credit for my amazing nursing experience goes to Clara. Due to all the complications I didn’t even get to try to breastfeed her for about eight hours after she was born and I worried I missed that hurry-up-and-nurse window, but she latched right on and has been great ever since. She’s a crazy hungry girl actually (still nursing every three hours except for overnight) so I joke that she’ll never want to wean. What can I say- I love that bonding time, so I’m not complaining!
xo,
s
Ames says
Oh my god, I am crying and have goosebumps. I am so, so, so happy that everything worked out. How absolutely terrifying. I can’t even imagine. I hope that sharing this helps you feel less scared about anything that happens in the future. Much love to the YHL family!!
Fiona says
Thank god everything turned out well and you have your beautiful girl. My heart breaks for all those who have lost their little ones….I can’t begin to imagine the pain…
I experienced that same out-of-body mind scream with the birth of my daughter. I thought that I had been screaming but my husband told me later that I was silent. I am trying to get over the trauma of the birth but am terrified as well Sherry.
You will have so much support when you are ready to have another baby xx
Cathleen says
I had a similarly scary birth experience with my first child and then 2 subsequent C-sections. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m still processing my experience 5 years later, so you never forget. Your doctor will definitely treat your pregnancy as a “high risk” and the high risk doctors are better and you’ll be well taken care of in subsequent pregnancies. My thoughts go out to your Sherry and family.
Tonya says
OMG! I was crying my eyes out! I am sorry it was so traumatic but ever so glad for the happy ending! She is a beautiful little girl. You are truly blessed.
Kate V says
I totally feel for you guys. My husband and I went through fertility issues to then get pregnant (miraculously) natural after 2 1/2 yrs. My son was born by semi-emergency c-section after several hours of labor. It definately reminds you of how precious life is and that every moment you have is a BLESSING. Clara is beautiful and enjoy her 1st! I know I’m looking forward to mine.
Jennifer C. says
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope writing about it has helped in the healing process. I also had placental abruption occur during the end of my first pregnancy (39 weeks) with my son 5 years ago. I was also at Henrico Doctors Hospital. I had no idea what placental abruption was at the time. I didn’t even know what was going on that day except I was in extreme pain, and the doctor discovered something that made my husband turn white and nearly pass out. My baby boy was perfectly fine in the end, and I went on to have a beautiful baby girl (by repeat c-section) 3 years and 9 months later. Pregnancy is scary (and the delivery too) but all so worth it when you get that sweet baby in your arms. I hope Clara has a wonderful 1st birthday!
Azzurra says
Sherry,I am the kind of person who cries easily,but this just had me bawling.What you guys had to go through was heartbreaking.
I still don’t have children,but not by choice.My husband has fertility problems,and it just broke my heart when we found out.We have been married almost 4 years,and it’s been such a pain the whole time.Who can imagine to be unable to have kids at 22?When you say you still wonder why it happened to you,I do too,Sherry,I do too.And while it’s a totally different situation,I’m sure the pain is just as deep,because we are all mothers in our hearts.
You said you also wonder why you were so lucky to have your happy ending,and your amazing healthy baby.Let me tell you,I think it’s because you are an incredibly brave,strong woman,and you totally deserved it,you totally deserved to be happy.I can only hope to be as brave and as strong as you’ve been when I will start the fertility treatments,this summer.I hope that if I am brave and strong too,maybe my present for my 26th birthday will be a positive pregnancy test.
Thank you so much for sharing this Sherry,a huge hug to you,John and Clara.
Katie says
I can’t even imagine how scary that must have been for you all. The only way I got through reading this post was knowing it had a happy ending/beginning of Clara’s wonderful life ahead!
Ali says
You are so brave & so very blessed. I don’t know how you made it through typing that, I could barely get through reading it – even knowing that sweet lil cherub survives & is ADORABLE! I feel like we should all have a group hug & I’m so not even a hugger.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Its so amazing how intense life can be. The things we go through just don’t seem to have reasons at times.
I love your style & blog, but now I even love you guys so much more.
Hoping you all have a wonderful time celebrating Clara’s first of hopefully many many more years. May there be nothing but blue skies, smiles & laughter…& maybe some delish cake.
jenn says
this made me bawl my eyes out. so sad and so amazing at the same time. i love that you threw in “slice and dice baby” at the end. wrapped it up with a good laugh. :)
Beth says
Sherry & John,
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience with the world. Your words are touching and will know doubt bring comfort to other hurting hearts, including your own. There is no deadline on grief and you both endured an incredibly traumatic (and ultimately happy-but-still-life-altering) experience.
I am so thankful for you all that the Good Lord blessed you that day. Clara is truly a gift in your lives and I know you treasure her beyond words. Blessings to you all and a Happiest of Birthdays to Sweet Clara!
Sara says
Wow… I really have no words right now…at least not the right ones..You are absolutely right tho, she is a miracle baby and an incredibly beautiful one at that..Thank you so much for sharing your story…you guys are the best!!
Susan says
Sherry, what a terrifying experience. I wouldn’t be able to talk about either. Wow! That was a great hospital and the right doctors and nurses, were there. Thank you, God that sweet Clara is perfectly fine. Next time you are expecting, everything will be fine because you’ll have a gazillion people praying for you and the baby. Don’t forget that!
Meg says
sherry- your recount of May 14, 2011 was emotionally palpable. Thanks for documenting the events of bringing Clara into the world. She is a very blessed little girl to have such loving parents, and you equally blessed to have her with you each and every day.
Meg says
Sorry, I meant to say May 14, 2010….
tara says
sherry, thanks so much for sharing this unbelievable story. i am sure many of your readers are like me, lump in the throat, tears in the eyes. so amazing to have a wonderfully happy ending with a sweet healthy baby.
erica says
Thank you for sharing your amazing and truly scary story. You have me crying here. You are all three so blessed to have each other now and I understand the fear of having another one.
LindseyR says
Such an honest account of Clara’s birth story….and I was another one you had in tears. Everyone one of us come in and leave this world in a unique way. So wonderful you have written it all down to share with Clara someday. What a tough little peanut she has been since day 1! What a joyous day her FIRST BIRTHDAY will be to celebrate!
Rachel R. says
What an amazing story, and I am in tears over it. Heartbreaking and beautiful and amazing.
Kelly C. says
God love you all! So happy for the ending!
Melissa @ A Place to Nest says
Thank you for sharing your birth story. So scary and raw… mostly glad on the outcome. I felt your fear. Felt a similar feeling with my son. Perfect pregnancy- easy going- no complications. Thought birth would be a breeze- as much as it can. 24 hours of labor and my son would not drop. His pulse kept fluctuating. The doctor said she would give me two hours and then c-section. Came back in less than 10 min and said- forget what I said- we are taking him out. Quick c-section. Found out the cord was being pinched but also loosely around his neck. He could not drop bc the cord would not let him. Scariest thing ever. So happy he is healthy and safe and just turned 3 two weeks ago. I am on the done-on-one plan as I love being a family of three. I wish you peace of mind if you decide to have another. But being the realist worrier I am- I know you will worry… Your hubbie can be your rock!
Blanca A. says
Dang girl, thanks for sharing. My eyes are welling up and i’m looking up to not cry :) crazy story. i have crazy fears too, about myself or the baby dying. i know weird, even though 23 and i’ve never been pregnant, but I’m diabetic and ever since i was little i was told i had to plan my babies. i have to have my blood sugar under control and so many other things. ever since they had that first talk with me, they scared the crap out of me. But i’m def going to try once i get married, and we see what happens :D
Kate says
I had a placental abruption with my first child, too. It was an emergency situation exactly as you described. My husband never even made it into the delivery room. My son is now sixteen and thriving. I had three more children following the abruption without any complications!
Happy birthday to your beautiful baby!
Kayla says
What a touching story and extremely moving. Thank you so much for sharing this! This is so important that you spoke out about this. Amazing story and it is so evident how wonderful of a relationship you two share with each even when going through such a scary time you each thought of each other. Continue to share as it is so wonderful to hear your courage as you heal!
Andria says
Thank you for sharing. I’m very touched by your story and so so so glad you had a happy ending! Can’t wait to see all the new milestones year two has in store for Miss Clara.
Erin says
Oh.. your story makes a pit in my stomach because I know those feelings. Our first baby was born so wrapped in his cord- blue and no respiration- he had like a 2 apgar because he still had a heartbeat but nothing else. They took him from us for hours for evaluation and now he’s a perfect 3 year old :)
Our second was born perfect looking and diagnosed with a often fatal heart problem at 1 day old- words can’t describe how that changed our lives- and I met many other moms during our 3 months in the hospital who didn’t ever bring their babies home. Every time I’d visit home I would look at our empty crib and wonder if she’d ever come home. Now she’s a happy 1 1/2 year old :)
I seriously debated putting my heart through another pregnancy after that last one- I thought I would die with worry and spend 9 months wondering if this baby would also be born with a terrible health problem but our daughter’s doc gave us very good advice- that our lives will go on and they NEED to. No matter what terrible experiences we have, times marches on until eventually you’ll come to a place where you can be joyful & happy about those things you thought you never could again. Now we also have a 2 month old (we’re really cranking them out here! ha!) and I’m so glad that we were able to push past fears and memories to embrace and enjoy his birth. One day you’ll get there too and I hope you’re able to feel that joy and excitement next time around. I don’t know about you, but I felt like those experiences were like trial by fire into the world of parenting. I’m sure it only gets harder from here! But also more rewarding! :) So much of what you read in parents books and mags is when things go normally- and you hardly ever hear about when things go wrong. It’s an important thing to share because I guarantee there are readers and moms everywhere who have felt the same who feel like no one else can understand. Thanks for sharing your story with us all.
Zay says
I discovered your blog a little over a year ago and I love it, but this the first time that I am actually writing a comment. This story struck a nerve with me, I have a 5 month old daughter and I thought her birth was dramatic. Just like you I was health all along and then on my 36th week visit my OBGYN said my blood pressure was borderline and it just escalated from there. The following day I was in hospital with preclampsia and they were delivering the baby! And just like you I didn’t even bother reading about high risk pregnancies and deliveries, I didn’t even read about c-sections, It was not going to happen to me. I was open to whatever happens but I hadn’t expected that. I heard the baby cry but I could hardly see her when they lifted her above the screen and I didn’t get to see her until the following day, 19 hours later. I wasn’t even briefed about her condition.
Clara is lucky to have such wonderful loving parents. Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cassie says
Sherry and John… THANK YOU for sharing this story. I know it was probably difficult and emotional to write, and I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I am so happy as well that the team who worked on you two did react quickly and that everyone left the hospital safe. I have always wondered what her birth story was, and figured i’m just not too smart and working through your website:) I hope for the rest of your life, that any time you are pregnant you never have to deal with complications like these. And look at that BEAUTIFUL daughter you have in your arms. God works in wonderful, and sometimes scary ways. I’m so happy she is here and your are healthy!!! Cheers to you super mom and super dad!!!
Jenna says
Wow – Sherry, thanks for sharing this. I cannot even imagine… How blessed you all are to come through it all happy and healthy!! And what a sweet baby girl Clara is. :) All the best!
Megan says
Thanks for your story. I can relate to so much of it. I too had an emergency c with my first.
The thing that is really hurting my heart right now is that my best friend just had a still born. She too went through it all but ultimately had to say goodbye to her little girl. Your story is very timely and emotional for me.
I am so so glad that you had the team of doctors that you did and that you and Clara were fighters.
Carla @ I Run, You Run says
Wow, I cried my eyes out reading this. Thank you for sharing, and hope the worst day of your life continues to be the worst.
Shreya says
This is such a heartbreaking story – you’re both so very brave and Clara is beautiful and full of courage. Thank you for sharing.
Liv says
I’m so sorry that the situation was so traumatic for you as new parents. I can’t imagine how difficult that experience was.
Thank you for sharing though. It reminded me to hug my little girl a few extra times today and to be grateful she’s here and we’re healthy and happy.
Celia says
Sherry-
I don’t know if you make it this far down in the comments, but thanks for sharing. It was beyond touching, both for your pain and for how intimately you’ve let so many people into your lives. I’m so so glad everything worked out for your family, and I hope your future children are as healthy and adorable! Thanks :)
YoungHouseLove says
Every single comment is getting read and appreciated over here. You guys are amazing and your words are so encouraging!
xo,
s
Shana Sammons says
So moving. What a blessing that baby girl is, both for you guys and for us who enjoy her on a computer screen.
Cameron says
Honey, good lord…. I had an emergency c-section with my first because of fetal distress, and my twins were born 9 weeks early, but I don’t think either was as scary as what you went through with Clara. My heart went out to you as I read this.
Megan says
I know you have had so many responses to this but I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your experience. My complications were not as severe as yours but I did have to have an emergency C-section and it was the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. Our son had stopped breathing due to the umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck 4 times. In the end everything turned out perfect but it was a lot to go through and it took me a while to get over – I think bc I was so set on a natural labor. Anyway, you guys are awesome and I truly enjoy reading your blog. Take Care and Happy 1st Birthday to your precious miracle Clara!
AEOT says
My little Spencer is the exact same age as Clara (also born on 5/15/10), and his birth was nothing like I anticipated either (though nothing like this). I teared up multiple times reading this as I can still feel the fear and the emotion as you wrote this and I can imagine how hard it must have been for John because I can see B in the same situation. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, and I’m so sorry that you will have scary moments in your next pregnancy even if it is completely perfect. Plus, I always think it’s hard to have to “plan” your next pregnancy based around health reasons. Thank you for sharing this, even if it was hard to write about…….
Julie says
When I read your post this morning, I just cried. I am so happy everything turned out okay for you and sweet Clara. I also had my easy pregnancy turn into a birth with complications and I know exactly how you felt. My daughter’s birth also had a happy ending, but they whisked her away immediately and it was two hours before I held her. I do want to tell you that my second child’s birth was completely drama-free and I wish I could go back and erase the anxiety I felt during my second pregnancy. I am so glad you wrote this post. I think it will help you get the experience behind you. Much love to you and your sweet family!
Cyndee Wanyonyi says
What a beautiful story. Because of all the births that happen every day, it’s really easy to take for granted the miracle of a child.
I had a placental abruption as well. Mine started at 23 weeks and the had no idea (baby was attached to my placenta near my back, so they couldn’t see anything via ultra-sound) all they kept telling me is “just keep him in for one more week, just one more week…” I stopped bleeding off and on for the next 8 weeks, so they didn’t realize it was a placental abruption until I delivered him via emergency c-section at 31 weeks. I remember that HORRID feeling of body ripping apart. It was. I always tell people that it felt like someone had taken a grapefruit spoon and scooped out my stomach. Doc said that he wouldn’t have even recognized the placenta because it was so mangled. He said that there was no way he could attribute my boy’s life except to a miracle.
I got pregnant a little over two years later and as soon as I passed 23 weeks, I relaxed. When I passed 31, I was ecstatic. At 37 weeks, I delivered my gorgeous baby girl, Julius’ sister. No placental abruption the second time. I know a lot of the internet stuff says that it’s highly likely for it to happen again, but my doc says those stats are off…it’s only a 10-15% likelihood. So—keep heart! Don’t be scared :). And just relish in each day, knowing that that day is a miracle in and of itself.
COngratulations on your gorgeous baby girl….much love to you…and good for you for writing this all out…it will be something that your daughter will cherish…
Jacqueline says
I’m not a mother so I don’t know if I connect on “that” emotional level… but I cried.
Thank you for sharing and always being so honest and open.
Krissy says
I am not one to comment on people’s blogs. However, I read yours EVERY day. It’s like my morning coffee, for a non-coffee drinker. Anyway, I just want to tell you that your story moved me to tears. You inspired me to take the time to write my daughter’s birth story. Thank you.
kat says
So, I’m one of those horrid lurkers… never leaving comments though I thoroughly and faithfully read and enjoy each post (you guys crack me up!). I lurk no more. This post was enough to get me to show my face and speak up. What a story… terrifying and heart-warming all at once; you inspire the masses with the way you tell your tale and how you’ve sorted it out in your hearts and by the way you so lovingly parent your little bean. Thanks for sharing – I’m so very sorry that you had to go through such trauma, but so very relieved that you have your happy, healthy and adorable ending. Fingers crossed for any and all future pregnancies – just think of how many more posts you could write from bed rest?! :)
(And sorry about the lurking!! I’ll try to be better.)
Cris says
Thank you for sharing your story! Your little girl is so beautiful. What a wonderful blessing from God! And she is blessed to have beem born into such a strong and loving family!
Meghan Solberg says
You guys are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing such a personal, and difficult story. It’s no wonder you needed time to digest it! Thankfully everything turned out wonderful and Clara is SUCH a doll. Love the first picture on the post…she just gets cuter everyday, if it’s possible! Thanks again so much for sharing.
chelsea says
Wow. what a remarkable story!
I had an unnecessary cesarean with my son. It was more convenient for my Dr to cut me open instead of allowing me to push (my butt was numb and it had already been 23 hours of labor-half of it natural with pitosin. I was induced at 38 weeks…. long story) anyway. I mourned my birth because I felt robbed. I’ve had 2 doctors tell me now after looking at my medical reports that my cesarean was not necessary- which makes me angry. This time around, with my next baby we’re attempting a homebirth with a midwife who used to work in labor and delivery for 8 years but has seen how these unnecessary ceseareans can scar woman. Plus we’re 5 mins away from a hospital, so that’s comforting too.
I loved your story because it showed how quickly doctors worked to save your lives. All too often cesareans aren’t done for that purpose but rather are scheduled and or done because “baby is in danger” when it really isn’t (like my case.)
Your baby is beautiful and I hope more healing comes your way as you share and are encouraged by other moms.
I think you should revel in your pregnancy. Nothing is promised in this life-you might as well enjoy the mystery, miracle and joy of pregnancy!
ps, if i have to have another cesarean, i know I will be ok with it this time around because I feel like I am in good hands and trust my midwife.