It’s nearly a year late (I can’t believe I’m going to be the mother of a one year old in three short weeks). And the reason for the delay is simple. Thinking / typing / talking about the day that Clara was born still scares the pants off of me. Even 11+ months later. This little lady made quite the dramatic entrance.
Yup, the day that Clara came into the world was the most amazing life-changing day of my existence, but it was easily also the single most terrifying one. I’ve mentioned some details a few times in comments on other Clara-related posts (many readers wanted to know all about the bean’s birth right away) but I think now that she’s almost a year old I’ve processed that day enough to really share it fully with the interweb. By no means am I over it (don’t really know if I ever will be), but I can talk about it now without crying. So that’s a start, right? A few friends of mine have actually recommend that I write this post as part of the whole healing process (a lot of the posts that we write are actually for our own benefit since this is just an online diary to document our lives for our own selfish purposes, haha). So I thought it made sense. I know that how Clara came into the world will affect future pregnancies and how nervous/anxious/wary/afraid I’ll be if any of the same complications pop up again, so perhaps talking about it after processing it for almost a year might help me come to terms with it a bit more. So here it goes (deep breaths, deep breaths).
I had an amazing low risk fabulous pregnancy. No high blood pressure. No weird pains. Over 100 days of morning sickness (yes I counted) but that’s to be expected. Or at least tolerated in the name of baking a human. Other than that (and once that ended) it was amazeballs as my girl Bethenny Frankel would say. I felt great. I loved feeling my little bean kicking around in there. I basked in the glory of being prego. I told John I could do it ten more times. Life was good.
My tiny 4’11” mom had two natural (and very fast) child births, so I had high hopes of a normal (if not very quickly progressing) delivery. Maybe without drugs, and maybe with them. I wasn’t going into it with any strong feelings either way, but I had taken some classes on pain management and learned about The Bradley Method so I was actually feeling very bring-it-on by the end. Either way I kept telling myself “in the end the baby will be out and I’ll get to meet her, so no fear is allowed – it’s going to be a happy day – with drugs or without them. No pressure. Just try to go with the flow and relax.” I had orders to “run, don’t walk” to the hospital if I had any signs of labor (my mother had me in four hours and my brother within two) so that had me a little on edge, but the only thing I worried about was having the baby at home or in the car since I feared it would all happen really fast because that runs in the family.
John was working downtown at the time and I was at home without a car (we’re a one car family, so he’d take the car during the day and after he came home we’d run any errands I needed to do). So admittedly the whole being at home without the car thing was kind of scary but I knew about fifty neighbors who volunteered to drive me to the hospital if things got crazy and John couldn’t make it home to get me in time. The funny thing is that he answered his cell phone on the first half-a-ring for the last two weeks of my pregnancy, so I knew he was on high alert and was confident that he’d hightail it home in time (it was only a 15 minute drive).
I never felt a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks) until the day I went into labor, but I knew I was dilated to a 3.5 at 39 weeks (yes I walked around at a 3.5 without going into labor with my first child, which I hear is really uncommon). Clara must have been holding onto the walls in there. So although I was still about a week “early,” my doc said I was going to have the baby any second. Hence John being on high alert. Oh yeah and my belly looked like this. I was officially ready to pop.
I noticed on the morning of May 14th (it was a Friday) that I was having some pretty intense contractions. My first contractions ever (well that I felt). At first they were oddly irregular so I thought it was just prelabor (didn’t even tell John because I didn’t want him to get all crazy and come running home for a false alarm). But slowly they started to establish a pattern and by the time I started timing them they were just four minutes apart. And they were an 11 on the pain scale. I felt like my insides were ripping apart and my back was killing me. I called John who was out to lunch with all of his coworkers to celebrate his very last day at the office (he was resigning to come on full time as a dad/blogger) and told him to get the eff home. He laughed about how good my timing was because he was just finishing his burrito. I groan-cried in the middle of a contraction and he knew I meant business. So home he came flew.
By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were already two minutes apart. I remember having a hard time even walking from the car to the door because they were just coming nonstop and they were bring-you-to-your-knees painful. I thought I might have a baby right there in the parking lot. They sent me straight into labor and delivery. As we waited for the doctor to arrive and check my progress my water broke in the hospital bed- but instead of being clear it was red. So much blood. Very scary. I didn’t even see most of it (thanks to my giant belly and the sheet over my lower half) but John did along with my OB who happened to be in the room. John’s face went white and the OB snapped into hyperdrive.
Immediately the room filled with frenzied nurses and doctors and they explained that I was having a placental abruption, which happens when the placenta has inexplicably detached from the uterine wall. This is very bad news before the baby is born. And it explains the feels-like-my-body-is-ripping-apart pain I’d been experiencing. It’s an extremely dangerous complication for the baby (since they get their nourishment from the placenta and can go into shock and die) and the mother can hemorrhage (and can also die in cases of extreme bleeding). So it was a pretty dire situation all around (although nobody stopped to explain it, the look on the doctor and nurse’s faces kind of said it all).
Within about a minute they had me in the OR and within three minutes they had sweet baby Clara out thanks to an amazingly fast emergency c-section. They saved her life by acting so fast.
It was a blur. All I remember was them running my gurney into the walls while turning corners in the hallway trying to get me into an ER as fast as possible. They looked panicked. And it scared the heck out of me. I didn’t care about me or my body – just the baby. I remember screaming inside of my head “just cut her out of me, cut and I don’t care if I feel pain or if I get hurt or if I have scars all over, just save her. Do it right here in the hallway if you have to.” Of course my lips weren’t moving. It was one of those out-of-body mind screams that nobody else can hear.
John suddenly wasn’t with me. They just left him behind and ran with me down the hall calling up to get emergency doctors and nurses on hand since the main OR was already in use for a scheduled c-section. I remember people popping out of doorways saying “I’ll help” and joining the frenzied mob and going over all of my stats (blood type, number of weeks prego, etc) while saying things like “baby in distress” and “profuse bleeding.” I couldn’t have created a scarier nightmare scenario in my head if I tried. Lots of people swarmed into the OR in the next thirty seconds. But no John. I could barely breathe at the thought of something going so wrong without him by my side. Once they had me fully prepped for surgery (which happened within less than a minute, they were so amazing) someone must have run off to get him.
I wish I could say it was thanks to me calling out for him but I was in shock so I couldn’t talk or even move. I was frozen. It almost felt like I wasn’t even there and I was watching it all happen to someone else on TV. John says he remembers standing in the hallway as everyone ran off with me. So freaked out and completely alone. Just waiting. That always makes me cry when I think about it. I didn’t know it at the time because of the chaos, but someone had tossed scrubs at him when I was being wheeled out (he would need them since it had to be a sterile environment for the c-section) so he was just standing there in the hallway wearing his scrubs and waiting. And going crazy. Finally someone came out to retrieve him and he was allowed to come hold my hand right as they started to cut. I just stared at him. I was frozen. I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I was just in shock at how quickly everything was happening.
Once they opened me up they saw that not only was Clara in distress from the placental abruption, but the umbilical cord had somehow been pinched (which is called “cord prolapse”) so she was without oxygen while fighting to make it through the abruption. I heard them toss out the word “cord prolapse” (they didn’t have time to explain what was going on, so I learned the details later) but in my odd state of panic and shock I thought they were talking about someone else. I was the one with a placental abruption. The scariest page of my birth book at home. The one I didn’t even read because it wouldn’t happen to me because I didn’t have high blood pressure or any of the other risk factors. My baby couldn’t also be dealing with cord prolapse. How could that be? Who could be that unlucky? Then they said “she’s not going to cry ok – don’t wait for her to cry just try to stay calm and breathe slowly.” That was when my heart broke and I started to cry. I guess I was crying for her.
I couldn’t see anything thanks to the screen they threw up before cutting into me, but they were right. She didn’t cry when they yanked her out with all of their might. All I remember was extreme pressure but no pain. Well, no physical pain. Emotional pain = off the charts. They had NICU specialists standing by, and when I heard them say “NICU” out loud that it was the first time I actually thought “what if this doesn’t end the way I thought it always would? What if all those pep talks I gave myself about it being a happy day because “drugs or no drugs I would get to meet my sweet baby girl” weren’t going to be true?
John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong when he saw all the blood before they whisked me away. And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying. John later confessed that once he was allowed into the OR to hold my hand that he couldn’t really watch as they pulled her out of me, even though he was much taller than the screen they had set up to block my view. Not because he was afraid of the blood or passing out, but because he didn’t want to see our baby “not make it.”
But after about one felt-like-eternity minute they got her to moan. Kind of like a kitty meowing. It was so soft and weak and just heart breaking. I remember thinking “I want her to cry so she’s ok, but I don’t want to hear her if she’s not going to be ok because I’m falling in love already. I can’t hear her moan and then fall silent- she has to start wailing. Right now!” But no dice. I remember thinking that all the silence felt so loud. Like it was almost deafening to listen so desperately for some sign of a cry. Clara got a 4 on her initial Apgar test, which we later heard is usually the lowest score you can get before permanent brain damage if things don’t improve by the five minute Apgar retest. They didn’t announce the time of birth or her weight very loudly or say anything like in the movies, you know like “it’s a girl!” or “happy birthday!” or “what’s her name?” and she didn’t come lay on my chest. I still couldn’t even see her thanks to the screen they had put up to block the surgery. They were all just working on this baby that I couldn’t even see. My baby. And I just stared at John in a silent freeze, tears in my eyes but nothing coming out of my mouth. At some point after closing me up the doctor said “she’s bleeding – she reopened, get over here” and half of the team ran back to work on me. My incision which had been sewn and stapled shut had reopened and I could hear from the doctors tone that it wasn’t an ideal situation. But I still wasn’t scared for me. In any other scenario it would have been intensely alarming, but I had a one track mind: the baby. I want to hear the baby cry.
It felt like five years went by (in reality it was less than five minutes) but slowly the people working on me thinned out and the people working on Clara seemed to start moving more casually and slower. As if it wasn’t such an emergency anymore. I remember thinking “this is either a very good or a very bad sign.” Thankfully, by her five minute Apgar test she pinked up, cried a glorious and spirited cry, and got a 9 (we later learned that the five minute Apgar retest is the most important and revealing one). They said that a 9 was as close to perfect as it gets and that even super healthy children rarely get 10s. And they told us that it was so great that she rebounded so well and was looking fantastic. She was a fighter for sure. They even let John go over and see her (I was still strapped down so I had to wait).
She wasn’t out of the woods yet, but we didn’t know that at the time, so we started to rejoice and John even took some video on the iPhone to bring back over to show to me since I hadn’t even laid eyes on her yet (we were so lucky that the iPhone happened to be in John’s pocket before all hell broke lose, otherwise we wouldn’t have any documentation of Clara’s birth at all). We later learned they were somehow testing her cord blood to see if she was without oxygen for so long that she sustained permanent brain damage. Only when the test came back all-clear (indicating that there were no worries of that) did the nurses and doctors really seem to relax.
Apparently infants who live after a placental abruption have a 40-50% chance of complications, which range from mild to severe (and sometimes mothers who survive end up with a hysterectomy to control the hemorrhaging). Only then did it start to sink in how lucky we really had been. And what a miracle our baby girl really is.
Finally, after what literally felt like days, they wrapped her up and brought her over to me. My arms were strapped down from the surgery, so John held her right near my head and I just stared at her in disbelief. I was still in shock, and bloated with fluids from the IV along with fear and disbelief and unconditional love.
What did I do to deserve such a happy ending? How would I have survived coming home empty handed to a beautiful nursery that I shared with the world while being so confident that I was guaranteed a cute little baby to put in that crib? Basically it was the scariest day of our lives, and I still ask why. Why me (in that annoying “poor me” way) and why me (in the “why-was-I-so-lucky-she-was-spared” way). But the main thing I feel is full. Of relief. Of gratitude. Of love for my little fighter. My little miracle. I’m SO THANKFUL that the doctors and nurses worked so quickly to come to her (and my) rescue. I’ll never know for sure, but if another team had been on duty I don’t know that I would have had the same outcome. They were just so on it. So invested and so amazing. And I can’t even begin to think about what could have happened if I wasn’t in the hospital when I started bleeding.
Other nurses and doctors in the hospital dropped in to see us for days just to tell us how lucky we were (news of our complications were apparently the talk of the hospital). We even had a friend on another floor (coincidentally she was there on the same day that I went into labor for a pre-term labor scare) who had overheard nurses and doctors talking about “that woman who had both a cord prolapse and a placental abruption at the same time but the baby actually survived.” Only later did she find out that it was me they were talking about. I still get chills when I think about that. How lucky we were. How scary it was. And how gorgeous and amazing that little girl in my arms was. And still is.
So that’s the story of the scariest/best day of our lives. Whew. No wonder we’re obsessed with the girl.
As for if those complications are more likely to occur with any subsequent pregnancies, cord prolapse is totally random and can happen to anyone, so it doesn’t become more likely if you’ve experienced it before (but it’s rare, so if you’re prego and reading this story know that my combination of complications were about as likely as winning the lottery). However, placental abruption is more likely to reoccur (around one in four women experience it again) and it can happen as early as around twenty weeks (when the baby isn’t viable yet, which means the baby wouldn’t make it). So it can be devastating and scary. I have strict orders to wait at least two full years between pregnancies to let everything heal up nice and strong, which probably means over three years between Clara and her younger brother or sister, assuming all goes well. I’m fine with the wait since I’m happy to just enjoy Clara for a while and take that time to continue to process the whole birth experience and build up my courage. But I’m sure when I’m pregnant again I’ll be much less happy go lucky about it.
Which is really sad. John keeps begging me to let it be the same joyful and unabashedly exciting time as it was before. But I know myself. And I’ll be on high alert. Searching for any signs or symptoms that something’s wrong. And scared even if there aren’t any signs of trouble (because there weren’t any before I started feeling contractions with Clara- it just all came out of nowhere). I’m scared that I might even be afraid to get a nursery ready. You know, so as not to jinx things. So my plan is to know myself, and accept that I’m going to be scared. But to do my best to enjoy it as much as I can and remind myself that I now know what an abruption feels like (so I should instantly be able to identify it) and that I have more information than I had with Clara (plus the doctors also know about my history now that I’ve had it happen). So I’ll hopefully have just as good of an outcome should it reoccur, as long as it doesn’t happen before the baby is developed enough to be delivered.
But I’m not gonna lie. I’m going to be petrified.
I also might be a “high risk” pregnancy next time without any chance of natural labor (if signs of another abruption occur they’ll rush me to a c-section if the baby is old enough to live outside the womb). I’m ok with that. Anything for a healthy baby. Now not only am I open when it comes to drugs or no drugs, I’m totally down with a c-section too. Slice and dice, baby. Whatever it takes.
LadyZ says
That was an emotional read… I have tears in my eyes!
Cort says
Omg this makes me tear up every time I read it! Man, praise the lord!
Allyson M says
I have to say, I’ve never had the courage to read Clara’s Birth Story until just now (after having seen the link on your blogiversary page.) This is why: Just over a year ago I had an emergency c-section with my daughter, Avalea, when I was only 24 weeks pregnant. I can remember having the same thoughts you had, “I could be pregnant over and over! This is great!” The only problem I had was swollen ankles- but everyone said that was completely normal!
After going to a routine checkup with my ob-gyn, they found protein in my urine. I totally skipped the page about preeclampsia in the book. You know, we’re young, healthy people- nothing’s going to go wrong! Less than 12 hours later, we were in the OR getting an emergency c-section, and they were whisking our <1 lb daughter off to the NICU at UVA. I thank god every day for the amazing doctors and nurses that took care of her for the four months we were down there.
Anyway, I'm sorry I'm going on and on- I just wanted to share that I can totally understand all your fears about a second pregnancy. I can't even imagine going through all that again. Whew.
Feel free to check out our little squiggle! http://www.facebook.com/loveavaleagrace
She's still TINY but feisty! :)
Allyson
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, she’s adorable! And such a fighter! Love that happy ending!
xo
s
Melissa says
Well, I’m bawling. Clara is such a fighter and such a miracle. XOXO
Somehow I missed this the first go round.
Deanna says
Sherry,
This story touches me deeply. After our first daughter had a very tight knot in her cord, we figured that our second delivery would go smoothly–WRONG. I had already gotten my epidural and our super chatty (to the point that it was annoying even us!) nurse had just checked me to find that I was 6cm. She said she was leaving for the day. Two minutes later, the room was filled with 5 nurses, a NICU team, and there were calls going out all over the hospital for people to help…but no one was telling me ANYTHING. I was being positioned on all fours, on my side, and practically on my head to try to help our baby.
Eventually our first nurse (whom we learned was the most experienced on the unit so we were glad to have her chattiness back!) came back in and said that the on-call doctor wasn’t responding to the pages (my doc wasn’t due at the hospital for another hour or so since I was only 6cm and she was in her office seeing patients) so I had no choice but to push the baby out because her heart rate had dropped from the 130s to the 30s and that we didn’t have any other recourse because nurses couldn’t perform c-sections.
In less than 5 minutes, I pushed out our daughter even though I was only 6cm dilated (though there was some serious “demo” involved on the part of the nurse to make for a quicker passage for our girlie. But as you iterated, at that point, I didn’t care what she had to do to me–I just wanted to get my baby out.
Like you, I felt like it was happening below me, as if I was watching it. I certainly couldn’t have been happening to me. And the screams inside my head were loud and scary. My husband was there the whole time because I was never moved to the OR but I don’t remember much about his interaction–I just remember screaming (in my head, of course), “GET MY BABY OUT!!”
When she was born, she was limp, her lungs were filled with blood, and her initial APGARs were 5s. But, like Clara, her 5-minute APGARs were 8 & 9 so we were feeling encouraged. My husabnd films everything so we have lots of video of her limp, blue body lying on that little warmer table and the NICU folks trying to get her to breathe, them suctioning blood from her lungs, and we do have her first little cry on film, too.
In the nursery that night, she stopped breathing so they had to resuscitate her and that, combined with the trauma of the abruption (which was determined by pathology to be a full abruption) caused me to suffer about a year of PTSD. It was an unfortunate time for me and I did everything I could to keep life normal for our 2-year-old and our newborn but I remember very little about that first year for our second little girl. This makes my heart so sad.
So few women or professionals address what can happen after something like this and I wasn’t prepared for that. The blood loss caused trauma to my emotions but it also damaged my pituitary gland interfering with my body’s ability to produce milk. I had to work hard with a SNS, spoon feeding, syringe feeding, tongue-training for 8 weeks to get our girly to nurse and my body to recover enough to sustain her. (She nursed for 18 months after that.)
Placental abruption is NO JOKE. Your story is scary and horrifying–it’s the page that all expectant mothers skip in the “What to Expect” books (I know I did). But by sharing your story, you’re giving this rare medical occurrence a face (a lovely one, at that)–and your giving mothers HOPE that they, too, can have a happy outcome.
I will add that our daughter is now 7 and is the comic relief of our home. She’s funny, smart, loves reading and math, enjoys riding her bike, has a way with animals, and is truly compassionate in a way that our other children are not.
We did have another child after her. He was born when Charlotte was a month shy of four years old. No placental abruption. But in the event of it, my doctor induced me early…in a room directly across the hall from the OR…and she stayed at the hospital from first pitocin drip to delivery.
May you be blessed with a brother or sister for Clara and may your pregnancy be in the 75% that go perfectly after an abruption. I believe it will be. I’m looking forward to reading that blog post.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Deanna, you have me crying over here. I’m so glad everything was ok. Such a scary ordeal! And so glad that you had another child without any issues- so glad the doc stuck around :)
xo
s
Viviana says
Oh what a scary experience! All you hear about is all these wonderful births and don’t realize how risky things can get so quickly. I also had an amazing pregnancy, no aches or pains, nausea only lasted till 11 weeks with no puking.. although i did end up with gestational diabetes which I was not expecting as I am petite like you, 5’3 120lbs. But the diet they put me on kept me from gaining any weight past 28 weeks. Awesome! My labor was very comfortable, I had menstrual cramps stronger than what I felt. (I know I am in the minority here). I was almost 5cm by the time I got to the hospital. Then while at the hospital they recommended the epidural so they could break my water to speed things up because I had been in labor since 3am and it was now 4pm and had not progressed. I thought great, going from some pain to no pain.. easy peasy. Then nothing happened. I would not dilate more than 7 1/2 cm. And every time they gave me more pitocin, the baby would go into distress. Finally they called a c-section at 8:50pm. She was out by 9:09pm. I was totally relaxed, she came out looking great and cried instantly. When they took her out of the room, my husband followed and I stayed while they stitched me up. I was thinking it was only going to be a few more minutes before I could hold my baby in my arms. Wrong. They could not get my incision to close. I felt them sewing me up about 5-6 different times.And could hear the doctors cursing under their breath because they could not stop the bleeding. By about the 3rd time the anesthesia was wearing off and I could feel the stitching they were doing. I kept telling them I could feel everything but they just told me to stay calm. For some reason they could not give me any more anesthesia or pain medicine, I still have no idea why. I was in the OR for about 1hr and a half after my daughter was born. It took them this long to stop the bleeding and finally close me up. This whole time I was in a daze, so exhausted at this point, feeling numb, ironically even though I was in more pain than I was during labor. My poor husband was also freaking out because they would not tell him anything. They just kept saying I was still in surgery. But he knew something was wrong because they kept avoiding his questions and answering very generally. Until he finally pushed hard enough for an answer then they told him they were having trouble closing me up. He said that was one of the most scariest times. Sitting there with his new daughter in his arms and not knowing if her mother would make it out of the OR. Very scary. Luckily, everything turned out fine. I impressed my self with this whole experience. I didn’t realize how strong I actually was. I recovered very quickly from surgery. Once you become a mother you are so strong and pull energy out of no where when you see that little baby in your arms. I am just so thankful she is in my life, healthy and full of energy. She will turn two on Thanksgiving. (image being on a forced diet, while pregnant, craving everything, and its thanksgiving… that is about the absolute worst torture you can do to a pregnant woman, Lol).I love seeing all your Clara posts, it reminds me of my daughter, she is adorable!
YoungHouseLove says
Wow, so glad everything turned out ok.
xo,
s
Nora N says
i just started following you blog a couple months ago, and I had to stop myself from reading it a couple times because of how emotional i got. I have a 7 month old and my fear was always “what if something goes wrong during pregnancy” I had a great pregnancy..which is why i thought i can’t be lucky and have a great labor too! Luckily, after being in labor 2 whole days, he came out crying =) I’m so happy for your miracle <3
YoungHouseLove says
Aw so glad!
xo,
s
Patricia Almeida says
Uau! Que história!! Sou brasileira, grávida de 16 semanas e também reformando a casa… Amei o blog de vocês, gostei muito das histórias todas, mas esta é realmente a melhor! Parabéns pela Clara (linda bebê!) e pela linda casa!
Abraços, Patricia. :)
Bri Arey says
Wow, what an incredible story. I vaguely remember reading this when it was published, but came back today on your Blogiversary. Not only is this a beautiful, terrifying, tear-jerking story, but it’s one that I strongly identify with as well. I was born at 28 weeks, the fourth pregnancy in a series of miscarriages. Someday, I know Clara will hear this story and be so thankful to have such amazing parents and to have had an amazing birth team. Be sure to tell her everything and sit and cry about it together. Cry for what happened, what might have happened and where you are now.
This was beautiful and I loved reading it. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
-Bri
PS: My mom runs her own business, focusing on clearing emotional trauma from past events. If that’s something you guys, either of you, are interested in–not trying to toot her horn, promise–you’re welcome to visit http://www.refutureyourlife.com. <3
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, that’s so sweet Bri! Thanks for the info.
xo
s
Tiffany says
I’m totally crying! So glad baby Clara was ok.
Janine says
Sherry, John and Clara,
I am a NICU nurse at a hospital in Jacksonville, Florida. I attend all c-sections and some vaginal births every day I work. Your story has reminded me that even though I take about 10 minutes to clean up, measure and weigh your baby, it seems like a life time to the parents, especially in a risky delivery. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me that each delivery I attend is a miracle and the birthday of a baby, not just my job. Your blog is amazing because of the randomness that is here, birth, remodeling, decorating, breastfeeding, shopping and all the rest. These are just a few of my favorite things.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw Janine! People like you are amazing! I’m so grateful for all the hospital staff who saved my girl. I truly believe it was all them. One nurse in particular was the one who noticed that Clara’s vitals were a little wonky even before the obvious abruption. I have so much respect for people like you who help bring babies into the world every day!
xo
s
David says
I’ve previously posted as SarahDavid — while my wife and I were benefiting from all of the great posts on your site to put together our nursery for the twin girls we expected to arrive on August 27th (more good news on that in a moment). This post, which I didn’t know existed until I went scrolling down your crazy blogiversary posts looking for the next great saga about painting, or deck-building, or basement organizing, is absolutely stunning. As a frequent reader of your blog, I simply couldn’t have placed either of you, or your child, in such a powerfully emotional setting — you do such an impressive job of keeping things so light (even John’s post about the deck inspections, which I can’t really believe were so upsetting ;)
Our twins came 9 weeks early, following a couple of funky-feeling days for my wife, leading to an ER visit just to see whether everything was OK. We actually felt a little guilty going to the ER at all, but we were following instructions she got from the labor and delivery team that was performing her NSTs. After about 6 hours of annoying efforts to try to get a good heart monitor reading on both twins, our doctor showed up and asked for an ultrasound. What seemed like several hours later, we saw on the ultrasound that baby A wasn’t moving at all. Still, several hours later, we weren’t sure what it all meant. By 4am, my wife was on an ambulance headed to another hospital — which just happened to be the hospital where she worked (and where we didn’t want to give birth, since she knows too many people there!) Still several more hours passed, until our perinatologist showed up and literally started yelling at people, right in front of us.
Long story shorter, baby A, now known as Elizabeth, had a 1 minute Apgar of 0, and a 5 minute Apgar of 1. By 25 minutes, she was up to 6. Her sister, Sydney, was an 8 initially, and remained high, tiny, but strong. We did not know that she had no pulse, and that they had to do chest compressions, and ventilate her — all things we didn’t know until about 4 hours later. Just last week, at 44 weeks gestational age (but already 3 months old!!!), the developmental psychologist informed us she has no signs whatsoever of the “slow start” documented in her hospital release papers, and that she is testing at a level comparable to most 2 month-old full term babies with a healthy start.
Moral of the no-so-short story, Apgar is scary, and certainly dictates how much critical care a baby might receive shortly after birth, but babies are amazing, and neo staff at hospitals these days are sometimes even more amazing. We will be high-risk again, and my wife will have to have a C-section again, but we will do it again (maybe she doesn’t know that yet, but it’s true!)
We will never know exactly what caused the distress for Elizabeth, so it was all just very confusing for us at the time. I was left behind just like John, but I hadn’t seen all of the blood, etc. I was just so incredibly nervous that one of our girls might not make it, and the other, who seemed to be so strong, had no choice but to come out and see the world when she was just under 3 pounds, and not yet 31 weeks old.
YoungHouseLove says
Wow- such a scary story – so glad everything was ok! What a wonderful outcome!
xo
s
Gabrielle Martin says
I just cried through this post for you, I am so sorry that this happened. I also had to have an unexpected c-section, it wasn’t a major emergency, but my little guy just didn’t want to come out after I’d already started labor.
Since reading your posts for the last nine months, I feel like I know you all! Thank you for sharing your joys and pains with us. I tell my family and friends about you guys and what you’re up to often. I also really relate to your quirky sense of humor. It seems like we would get along so well if I didn’t live all the way in Oregon! I saw your book tour dates and maybe I can try to come to the Portland one. It would be amazing to meet you both(although I would probably turn red, giggle a lot, and make a wierd sarcastic joke that no one would get :))! Thanks again for sharing your life and I look forward to many more posts in the future!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, you’re so sweet Gabrielle! We’d love to meet you in Portland!
xo
s
Amanda says
Just stumbled upon your blog and love it! Tears streaming as I’m reading this because I lived it too:-) I have the same memories… not hearing my baby boy for what felt like an eternity… My eyes squeezed shut and just saying, “Please God. Please God. Please GOOODDDD!” And then hearing his cry. I’m an RN at the hospital where I delivered and remember thinking I could never work there again! I’m glad everything was ok for you. I did have another baby but scheduled my c/s… it was very uneventful and I liked it that way:-) beautiful home… I’m already inspired.
Angela says
I just cried all the way through that a year and a half after it was written… I am sorry you and John had to go through that. What a beautiful little fighter you have. Thank you for sharing your story I am sure it took a lot to get it all out and to have to relive it.
Marlie says
I found your blog by googling “very low key wedding” and read all about your gorgeous backyard wedding. Then I nosed around until I came here and found myself bawling and we don’t even know each other.
It was so brave of you to tell this story and I hope that in sharing this experience you were able to find some healing. Its incredible the miracles that can happen. I’m thinking to the photo you shared on your wedding post of a note someone wrote to you about how your marriage is already blessed. They were seriously onto something.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Marlie!
xo,
s
Kathy says
I cried through your whole story. I also had an out-of-nowhere crazy complication with the birth of my most recent son (different complication) where we weren’t sure if he would make it, even for a few weeks after the birth… I was unconscious when he was born and my husband had to wait in the hallway the whole time – that image of him in scrubs in the hallway just hit me totally fresh and raw and it was almost a year ago now. In my case, I didn’t even meet my baby till he was 14 hours old… and then he spent 3 weeks in the NICU and we weren’t sure if he would ever be “normal” – it’s more than I can type right now without breaking down. I don’t even know what I want to say, why I felt compelled to comment other than that I guess know that you aren’t alone. Blessings on you and your family. (oh, and our little man is perfect now. He’s a fighter, too)
YoungHouseLove says
Aw I’m so glad!
xo,
s
Courtney says
Wow! This story is incredible. Brought me to tears. You are such a strong woman and have such a beautiful baby girl. The fact that you both survived such a thing is unreal. Your baby really is a miracle, make sure she knows how special she is every day of her life.
Thank you for sharing.
Be blessed!
Abby says
I cried buckets reading this. I am just amazed at your strength in being able to tell this incredibly emotional story.
Jenni says
I just found your site via my friend who came to your book signing last night and posted a picture, then I stumbled upon this post and am sitting here in tears after reading it! I had a much-less-than-dramatic-than-yours-but-still-dramatic delivery with my second son last year (uterine atony, hemorrhaging, and one of those being rushed to the ER, banging into the walls trips on a gurney that you so aptly described), but thankfully my son was perfect while I was in peril, so my situation was half better than yours, but still quite scary. As I was finishing up reading it, Collin came toddling out of his bedroom carrying a little photo album of pictures from his birth that we made for my older son Carter to look at, almost as if he knew why I was crying. Pretty amazing. Thank you for sharing!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw that’s so sweet. Thank you for sharing. You guys are all so generous and amazing to share your stories.
xo
s
Erin Ramczyk says
Hey Sherry, I’ve been following you guys for years. Just re-read this because my hubby and I are starting to think about expanding our family – thank you for bearing your soul on this one, I’m in tears reading it so I can’t even begin to imagine living through it. You guys are amazing and I’ll read you until your blogging little fingers fall off! :)
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Erin!
xo
s
Chelsea says
Thank you for this amazing story. I know I’m late in reading it.
Our daughter was born Christmas Day 2011 (so coming up on a year here!), also via emergency c-section, also due to abruption. So terrifying and I know too well the need to heal (most of all, emotionally) after such an event. I am so glad that you have your beautiful Clara and that you are all so happy together. Big hugs from Ontario, Canada.
Amanda says
Thank you for sharing. I am on pregnancy 6 with 2 previous live births. My oldest daughter is 6 years old and was pregnancy 3. Our family gave us a hard time but we didnt have a nursery or crib built until 2 days before her birth. They just didnt understand , and you described it perfect. Even now, 20wks in I’m not really excited or happy about the new baby. I dont get good feelings until the healthy baby in is my arms. Thank you for your blog and your story.
YoungHouseLove says
Sending you lots of love and wishes for a healthy pregnancy and delivery, Amanda!
xo
s
Sharon says
Thanks for sharing your story. I am in due in 3 weeks with my second baby and am afraid of something going wrong. It’s amazing, with my first, I had some worries about all going okay, but nothing too overwhelming. Then I had two miscarriages and I realized how I took for granted having a healthy baby and an uneventful labor/delivery the first go round. I am so happy to hear of your miracle baby and how everything fell into place for both of you to be fine in the end.
Kelsey says
Sherry,
I just re-read this after having my son via emergency c-section 2 months ago. It’s amazing how your story takes on different meaning to me now. I love the last line, “whatever it takes.” Truer words were never spoken. When they were cutting me open I kept saying, “get him out, get him out… I don’t care if it hurts… get him out”. I’m happy to say I have a healthy and happy little boy now.
I also understand your fear about future pregnancies, as I had two losses before my son. Just keep breathing and enjoy each moment as it comes. I don’t think I was excited until about 20-25 weeks. Then I reached a whole new level of excitement at 30 weeks when I knew he had a good shot at life no matter what happened. Good luck!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw I’m so glad that everything turned out well with your son. What a blessing.
xo
s
Brittany B says
Sherry, I know I’m coming to this late, but I am so amazed by you and John! I am sitting her with tears in my eyes, broken-hearted for y’all over what you went through, but I think of how y’all are now, and y’all really are amazing. You two are so lucky and blessed to have Lil C in your life. When I had my daughter, it was complication free for her, although I had a bunch of doozies that still cause me a lot of problems. I know how horrible it was for me to fear I would be disabled and not able to take care of my baby, but to have to worry I wouldn’t even have a baby to take care of? That would have broken me. You are so much stronger than I am, and I applaud you for it!
Anne says
What an amazing story! You are one tough lady! My fiance and I are getting married in June and I know that we will want children in the future. I have a genetic disorder that I cautious about not wanting to pass it on, so we are looking into other options and stuff because naturally there is 50% risk of passing it on.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, best of luck with everything Anne! May you have the family you have always imagined :)
xo
s
MK says
I just found this post after being a huge YHL fan and it made me cry — you must have been so scared. I can’t even imagine. Clara is blessed and so are you guys — thanks for sharing this with us.
Lisa Barton-Collins says
Hi Sherry
There are over 2200 comments here already, so you will probably never read this! That is OK, I just wanted to say that your birth story moved me because I too had an abrupted placenta with my first pregnancy, when the baby was 31 weeks. I also had pre eclampsia, and had been in hospital for 2 weeks bed rest with that. The doctors expected the baby to be delivered early and because of that I had received steroids to mature the baby’s lungs. Lucky, because the same emergency situation happened to me – the emergency C section, the panic, the absolute fear. My daughter was born weighing 3 pounds, and spent 5 weeks in the NICU. (Today she is a typical 20 year old, and is taller than me!) Because of this traumatic experience, it took me 12 years to fall pregnant again, and even then it was ‘accidental’. I burst into tears when I found out, I was terrified! That and the next pregnancy where heavily medicalized, but incident free. Now I have 3 wonderful children! You will get through it too. xx
YoungHouseLove says
That’s awesome Lisa! Thanks so much for sharing!
xo
s
Lisa Barton-Collins says
OH my gosh!! You did read my comment!!!
xx
Hannah says
I just stumbled upon your blog. What a happy ending! My second pregnancy ended with an abruption at 29 weeks. Unlike your sweet Clara, my son did not survive. We went on to have a third son 15 months later. You are absolutely right. It is exceptionally scary. For the first 6 months of pregnancy, I ended most statements about with “if this pregnancy works out”. I know how devastating an abruption can be. I am so glad to have read your story and your happy ending.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Hannah, I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m so glad for your sweet son who came 15 months later.
xo
s
Kelly says
I’m new to this site, but I recognized you and John from your wedding site (from which my hubby and I stole a few ideas for our wedding). Anyway, I just read Clara’s birth story and – WOW! – how scary! I’m thrilled that you both got through it fine and Clara is happy, thriving, almost 3YO. I sincerely hope her birth won’t keep you two from having more though I can understand how it might make you worry incessantly. I had my daughter in July and the thought of another 36 hour labor, which, luckily enough, was incident-free, still gives me pause. We’ll both see, right?!
Keep up the excellent work being a mama, wife, and homeowner!
(P.S. – I love that you guys are in Richmond. I lived in the Fan and Henrico Co. while working in Short Pump and Ashland for several years after college. It’s so much fun to read about the city and how much it has changed!)
Chiara says
I built my family through adoption. My husband was adopted. My best friend growing up was adopted. My sister’s best friend growing up was adopted.
Adoption is a miraculous way to create a family. Granted it comes with its own complications and fears. But, if you cant imagine not having more children then research the multitude of different types of adoptions. You never know if there is a child waiting to be born from your heart! I love your website and am a big fan. Good people deserve happiness. Its wonderful to witness the abundance of happiness in your family!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks so much Chiara! It’s definitely always another possibility for us :)
xo
s
Erin says
What an incredible story. I’m so happy all ended well and your beautiful little girl is such a fighter. I commend you for the strength it took not only to survive that day, but to share your experience with the world. God bless your beautiful family and home.
Kimberly F. says
Sherry,
I read this a while ago and just retread it. Thank you for sharing your story. My son is now 9 months old but we had a fairly traumatic birth experience as well and I have had a difficult time getting past it. I think you are right that its not something you ever “get over”, and honestly it’s not something I want to get over. I do want to move forward and get excited about having another little baby, but I completely empathize with where you’re coming from regarding your fears for future pregnancies. You are a strong woman and I love reading your blog. Part of the healing process for me has been hearing other’s stories and feeling a sense of fellowship and comradeie in that, so thank you for helping me heal as well.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Kimberly. That’s so sweet!
xo,
s
jamie acosta says
I cried like a baby. This reminds me of when I had my baby girl Ailani. (eye-lah-knee). Everything was fine til she was out. She had swallowed meconium and almost suffocated. I didnt get to hold her or hear her cry. My sister had sufferd a still birth and knew something was wrong when the baby didnt cry. Me, my husband and I all cried bc we thought we were going to lose her. Doctors had called out “Its been 4 minutes!” I think going 6 mins can cause brain damage. She has been slow at learning things but eventually catches on. Now she will soon turn 2 at the end of march. I thank God daily for allowing me to be a mother. sending some love from Rocky Mount, Va
Roxanne Beckford Hoge says
What a blessing that you all have each other, and no matter what size your family ends up being, you’ll always be blessed. Each pregnancy (I have four kids; three full term pregnancies and one miscarriage) is a chance at a miracle. Some of us never get to see how miraculous a good outcome is. Thanks for the reminder tonight, as I wrestle the second graders to bed and try to get the teenager to show me homework and pray that the tween doesn’t want heels for her graduation party!!
tram says
Sherry, thank you SO much for writing this. been following your blog for years, for the projects & ideas, and funny enough, or not funny, actually, this is the post that has prompted my first comment. my husband and I bought a house, undertook major renovations throughout the house, interior, exterior, no room left, wall, corner left untouched. Got pregnant right away after that (woot!), very smooth, easy, ‘amazeballs’ pregnancy (i share a love for all things bethenny!), which all suddenly culminated in the scariest yet most wonderful birth day of our son… i also had an emergency c-section after baby’s heart rate dropped suddenly and quickly. the series of events and emotions are just as you described… devastation, shock, relief, joy, sadness. prior to that, i had few years of what feels like having it all (an awesome partner, job, chance to build our own home), the emergency c-section really threw me off course. now, our son 4 months, perhaps like you in the months prior, i’m still processing, working through, trying to accept, heal, and work myself up to the next challenge… so good to hear your story, and to remind myself that it takes time, and that good things do happen… thanks again!
Cheryl says
Dearest Sherdog, I wasn’t pregnant when I first read this amazing, gut wrenching story. But when I did conceive, I wanted to have a drug-free birth and considered home birth at first. Then, this story popped into my mind. If you hadn’t been in a hospital Clara would not have made it. And anything can happen, anything could go wrong. As a first-time mom I had no idea what my birthing day would bring. I want to thank you for sharing your story.
In the end, I was able to have a drug-free, intervention free, complication free, miraculous birth but I was at the hospital where I knew I needed to be, just in case. The peace of mind was tremendous. And the way I felt afterward…oy! I needed those nurses near to help pick up the pieces of my poor body while knowing my daughter was being looked after.
You are right, nothing is a guarantee. Every woman has to worry and we do worry because when you feel that life inside of you, you will do anything and everything to ensure it sees the glorious light of day.
Your next pregnancy won’t be as happy-go-lucky…I get that. But now you have a deep well of strength to dip way down into when the going gets rough. You weathered the storm and came out the other end. I wish you so much luck and love for baby #2. Imagine if nothing happens but exactly the simple scenario you imagined with Clara? The thing is, that could happen, too! xo
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks so much Cheryl, you’re so sweet! And congrats on the birth of your little one. What an exciting time!
xo
s
ashlea says
goodness gracious how blessed y’all are. Amazing story and I hope writing about it brought some healing for you. Not anyway comparing but with my second I got that test that checks for abnormalities like down syndrome and JUST BECAUSE my age was 32 it came back increased risk. It scared me to death and I had to have all these special sonograms and stuff. My pregnancy was tainted with worry. Either way I would have been ok. But nevertheless worry was all we felt. After she was born I just kept looking to make sure she looked normal and her eyes were wide set( a characteristic of down syndrome). She was perfectly fine. And I was super pissed I didn’t know the false positives that comes with that test. So my next pregnancy I declined the test and had less of a worrisome pregnancy. Because all pregnancies are worriesome to a degree. Anyway I’m blabbering. So glad y’all were blessed with a perfectly healthy girl!!! Very touching story. Maybe you should repost so people will quit bugging you about having another baby. ;P
Aida says
Thank you for sharing your birth story. I… have no words, besides may God continue to bless you guys.
Also, happy birthday!
Margot says
I have been a fan of you guys since late 2008 or early 2009 (can’t remember exact time). I just read this post for the first time. I commend you for putting this out there for the public to see. You two are strong, amazing parents. Congratulations on your miracle baby. I wish you the best of luck, with any future children, if you choose that path for your family.
Thank you for sharing your life with us,
Margot Hamm
Erin says
This is amazing. Thank you for sharing. You are a phenomenal family.
Kelle McCarthy says
Thanks for sharing your story. It makes me want to share my story of hope for another baby. I did not have the medical complications you had but had a preemie baby born at 25 weeks. This was my second pregnancy and a very wanted and long awaited, as we tried forever it seemed to get pregnant, but could not. Anyway, our little boy Matthew died only 23 days after he was born. The worst nightmare a parent could go through. After he passed, I could not even imagine getting pregnant again, as I never wanted to go through the pain of losing a baby or the possibility of it. I wanted to get back on “the pill” right away. But somehow my husband talked me into not getting on birth control because it took us 4 years to get pregnant. Low and behold, I found out I was pregnant right away and our now 9 year old was born 13 months later. I was nervous throughout the pregnancy especially the time around when Matthew was born (25 weeks or so) I was on bed rest the entire time and would pray, pray, pray on a daily basis for my unborn baby. It was hard but I must say that I had so sort of peace about this pregnancy. The bible had a lot to do with that. You too will be fine when the time comes and just remember to pray, pray, pray and have faith that you too can have another baby. I wish you luck when the time comes.
Thanks for listening to my story as it always helps even 10 years later to try and help others and remember our sweet little Matthew.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Kelle, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. I am so glad you had peace with your next pregnancy and that it all turned out well.
xo
s
Erin Port says
Thanks for sharing your story. Although mine is a little different, I have high-risk pregnancies and very stressful, scary births as well. The first one they thought was a fluke and then the 2nd, they said it will happen every subsequent birth. It makes me so nervous, since we have been blessed with 2 healthy babies. I know your fears too well and so often when people ask about baby #3 I wish I could share the whole story so they would “get it”. So happy Clara is happy and healthy – children truly are a gift from the Lord. We thank Him daily for our two miracles!
Amber says
What an experience! Clara is an angel! I cried reading this and could only imagine how scary it was for everyone. Xoxo
Naya says
My goodness this was so intense. Even already knowing little Clara survived it was still very scary to read. You all are such troopers.
Laura says
Wow, what an amazing story. I start my OB rotation (nursing school) next week so I’ll definitely keep your story in the back of my mind for future references. Your daughter is beautiful (which I’m sure you already know). I’m sure whatever decision you make about future children will be whatever decision is best for you and your family. Thanks for sharing your story!
Jami says
I am sitting here crying reading your story. I, too, am a high risk person. I did manage to have my first child (I have a beautiful 2 year old boy) but I have Stage 4 Endometriosis. I only have my left ovary and Fallopian tube left. I feel like reading your story today is fate because today I had testing done to see if I can even have more babies. So your story REALLY made me cry. You have a beyond gorgeous girl and a beautiful family. I am really glad that everything turned out well for you. As for the questions in regards to if you are pregnant, I am constantly asked when we are having another one and it can be sometimes painful to explain. Our love your blog and I LOVE how real you are. Thank you.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks so much Jami! All the best with everything to you!
xo
s
Mary H. says
I am reading Clara’s birth story for the first time today and am beyond touched. My husband and I are both in tears, trying to imagine what we would have done if we were in your shoes. Having just given birth to our little girl, I can appreciate the raw emotion you and John experienced. I am so happy that everything turned out the way it did for you, and wish you the best luck in any future pregnancy. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks so much Mary, you’re so sweet!
xo
s