John’s dad’s nickname is El Cheapo and he truly is one of our money management role models. It’s not like he wears shoes with holes in them or lives without creature comforts- he just saves for what is truly important to him (like a family-sized vehicle and even a vacation home for us to gather) and forgoes things that don’t mean as much to him (like fancy meals on the town and a room-sized flat screen TV). Of course deciding what matters to you and being frugal in other areas is truly a personal decision (so if a flat screen TV will give you more joy than a minivan you should certainly follow your heart and save up for that!).
But the point is that Tom literally squirrels away moolah for years to put towards a new car, buys it after extensive research, and then drives it until it has record breaking amounts of mileage (which averages much less cost per year or per mile than most people would ever think possible). True story: he still drives a fully functional 1998 Nissan Quest with over 300,000 miles on it (!) while his wife drives a new Honda Pilot (they saved up for that but the Nissan still works so his thoughts are “why not drive it until it dies?”). In short, the man knows what he wants to save money on and he knows what he wants to spend it on. And he’s not afraid to divert funds from one area to attain something that will bring him and his family great joy- which is always an honorable quality.
In fact we referenced both him and my father when we answered the big “how do you budget and afford so many DIY projects?” question a few months back (see more on that subject right here).
And after reading that post, he sent us an inspiring and memorable email that we just had to share (note: we’re always astounded when our relatives email us to say that they read our blog). So without further ado, the wise words of Tom Petersik:
“Loved your frugal blog post! Funny thing: I was just “admiring” that puffy painted tie from John yesterday. But onward to the main point: too often frugality is incorrectly viewed as “giving up,” when the real point of frugality is “getting what you really really want.” Many times I think the main point of frugality isn’t in “not buying;” the main point of frugality- and perhaps life- is to recognize what brings you the greatest rewards and to go enthusiastically for those things. When Kathy and I got married, buying our first home was a biiig stretch, all $27,500, but we loved every minute of it. And buying our current home was a bigger stretch, but it has been a great blessing. And they were both “frugal” decisions. The point is, if you as a person truly derive great pleasure from something, the frugal behavior is to “go for it” – enthusiastically and whole hog. Who cares if you’re not going out to dinner if the money you’re saving can afford you the things you really want? What is given up means little compared with the pleasure of the better choices.” -Love, Tom/Dad
So we thought we’d share those inspiring words with you guys since they meant so much to us- and because so many of you seemed to relate to that original money management post that he’s referring to. And while we’re on the subject of great parental advice, have you guys ever been taught something by your parents (or another wise-beyond-their-years family member) that you’d like to share? We’d love to hear what legacy your relatives are passing down and inspiring in your household.
Elle Sees says
Ok, I have a money-saving question: is it cheaper to leave the ac on all day (like on 80) and then turn it down to 75 at night? Or is it cheaper to turn it off in the morning and then turn on to 75 at night? I live in Atlanta, so I gotta have my air!!!
YoungHouseLove says
Hey Elle,
Unfortunately we have no answer for you, but we have heard that using a programmable thermostat undeniably saves money as opposed to keeping the temp on something constant all the time. Perhaps there’s a site or a person online that you can find who knows more of the particulars or has some sort of formula to calculate that answer for you! Happy hunting…
xo,
s
Dawn says
This is a great post! Unfortunately I was on the opposite side of this situation. I was the baby of the family and no one ever taught me the importance of saving and credit. Immediately after high school I went to college and did not save my money spending through scholarship money and such. It took me almost ten years, but I have now gotten back to a stable credit score and have saved for a new home. Your post is just another confirmation that I will never stop trying to teach my children the true value of things. I now am very frugal about the way I spend and am passing that on to my kids. They would much rather have money in their banks saving for something big then random small toys.
Minda says
to support this topic was my grandmother’s simple summary of the whole point which is…
“cut the garment to fit the cloth”
i have lived by those words, and find more excitement (especially for home-related projects) from saving for something rather than getting it all at once. then, not only do you have the sense of accomplishment from a great DIY, but also that you now have NO payments hanging over your head as you regularly enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Sugar Cookie says
My husband and I have made choices regarding money that many of our friends don’t understand, but for us, it has truly paid off. We both paid our way through college and I paid my way through my master’s degree as well. My husband had to take out loans to get his law school education, but we have managed to save enough for me to go back to school and get my PhD without taking out more loans. To some people, that kind of education is not important (or worth spending so much time and money on), and we have made a lot of sacrifices to do it. We live in a trailer and my husband drives a 1997 Nissan Sentra, which some people may see as poor money management. But for us, a lawyer and college dean, we could not be happier with the “fast track” decisions and sacrifices that we have made to advance in our careers. Now that we are established and have saved, saved, saved, we are building a dream home and planning a trip to Germany. So you’re right… it all depends on what is important to you!
Amy G says
My Mom taught me to be financially independent, no matter how committed your relationship may appear – hindsight is 20/20. She had to learn most things in life the hard way. Being a stay-at-home mom with no career or education of any kind really bit her in the butt. After 11 years together, she and my stepfather split, leaving her with 3 children and no way to pay the bills (not even a car!). She had to go back to school (3 years; high school + a 2-year college nursing program), find work, get a cheaper place to live and support herself and her children. To this day, while she’s been able to get ahead somewhat (bought her first house and a new car the year before), everything is a struggle, from finding a way to save for an RRSP and my brother and sister’s education. She’s been seeing someone for 6 years since she split from my brother and sister’s dad, and she maintains that she needs to be 100% self-sufficient, because god forbid she ever end up in the same position again. While I trust my boyfriend and we plan to share our lives together, I’m not naive; bad things sometimes happen, which is why it’s a priority for me to be able to support myself financially (and think of my bf’s income as supplemental)!
Amy says
My parents were the same way – they worked really hard and spent money on things that they thought were important like a nice, sturdy house in a good neighborhood with good schools and our once a year vacation to visit my family in Florida for 2 weeks. They also made sure to put money away for my brother and I to go to college and for their own retirement. Fast forward to the present and after all that hard work they live in an absolute show place in Florida. They are both extremely happy there and said it was worth the work and the wait.
What I have picked up from that is that you don’t have to always have name-brand things and fancy stuff to be happy. My parents never bought my brother and I name-brand jeans or whatever, but we always had nice, clean clothes to wear to school. We ate well and we lived in comfort within our means. Sure, that meant not a lot of luxuries, but looking back I’m glad we had what we had instead of those Guess jeans that I thought I needed so desperately.
Right now I am working 2 jobs (one full-time and one that’s only an hour a day where I pre-record a radio show for a local station) and he is working on his teaching degree (he just got out of the Marine Corps last year and receives the GI bill so we are fortunate enough to have two incomes at the moment) and is the property manager for our apartment building. We’re fortunate that we are able to live on just my income and use the money from his GI bill to put toward a down payment on a house after he graduates. We shop at places like TJ Maxx, Christmas Tree Shop and do a LOT of DIY. Each dollar saved is a dollar closer to a home.
We’re also applying that concept to our wedding (September of 2011) and if all goes according to our plan we’ll come out of it debt free. The goal is to purchase a little at a time with a monthly allotment and keep in mind what is really worth spending money on. We’re also fortunate enough to have friends and family that are very talented and generous to help us with some of the more pricey things like photography, dj service and catering.
Kate says
Elle,
See energystar’s website for what they recommend setting your thermostat to while you are away. We don’t have a programmable thermostat, but we still abide by their recommendations (we just manually adjust).
http://www.energystar.gov/index.cfm?fuseaction=find_a_product.showProductGroup&pgw_code=TH
Peggy M says
hey guys, i am not currently a very frugal person at all and pretty much live pay day to pay day but you have inspired me to try to get my hubby on board and do this because it sounds wonderful to me so ty!!
also about good advice, since my parents were not all that great with shedding out advice i was never taught money managment or any great advice but i was blessed to have older wiser relatives and friends that taught me a couple things that i have also learned from experience: we married young and are in out early to mid thirty’s but have three teenagers and they really do grow u way too fast so charish and enjoy every moment even the small things and take notes because as good as your intentions to remember all the little things your kids do are, you always forget…
also dont sweat the small things and pick your battles. my youngest used to wear rubber boots with everything even to nice outings just because i felt it was not worth fighting him over something he was very happy with that never hurt anyone and who cared if the other moms thought i was wierd. my child was happy and no more stress for me trying to make him into something (all the other kids) that he didnt want to be :)
and last but not least Proverbs has taught me so much daily wisdom for this day and age even though it was written centries ago. It has very practical advice for life!! Thank God that there IS actually a little instruction book for real life! :)