It was fun to crack open a little bit of our personal “stuff” last Tuesday for this post about the real $herdog (yes, I’m still patiently waiting for that nickname to catch on) and John’s J-Boom version. And a funny thing happened after sharing those. Not only did they receive over 1,200 amazingly awesome and encouraging comments (note to self: apparently you’re not a social pariah if you admit that you sometimes have strawberry cream cheese on your ear and are inclined to impersonate Cindy Lou Who) but we also got dozens of emails – not even exaggerating – asking about how to deal with criticism and respond to negative comments. And thus this post was born.
I guess by sharing all of our weird idiosyncrasies it encouraged people to write about something they’re struggling with and ask how we handle it? It also could have had something to do with this thread on the $herdog post. Either way, the emails mostly came from folks who run small blogs who have somehow fallen into larger readerships thanks to being pinned on Pinterest or otherwise thrust into the spotlight suddenly (like a feature on Apartment Therapy or Design Sponge). And the general gist of every single email was this: someone was blogging along about whatever they blog about (some of these people aren’t home bloggers at all) and then… zinger… it happened. A not-so-nice comment. And it stung.
With more readers definitely comes more “feedback” – both good and bad. And you know I’m happy to be that spunky little cheerleader on your shoulder shouting high-pitched overly-enthusiastic things like: “you can do it!” and “reach for the stars!” – so here’s my humble advice in a nutshell:
- It’s your blog.
- Be who you are. That is enough.
- Try to give the good feedback as much weight as the bad.
- Do all things with love.
Sounds corny huh? But I’ll explain how those four things have really helped us deal with the whole “you’re putting yourself out there and I’m anonymous so I’m going to tell you exactly how I feel” phenomenon. After all we’ve been told (both nicely and not so nicely) a few of the following things:
- I’m not really interested in posts about _____, so I vote you skip them
- I’m losing interest in big projects – do more little ones
- Do more big projects – the small ones are filler
- I want more Clara and Burger and everyday stuff
- I want less Clara and Burger and everyday stuff
- That paint color/art/room is ugly/not the right choice
- Stop using certain words/expressions because they make me cringe
- Stop being so cheap and spend some money
- Stop spending so much money and be more frugal
- Move faster, I’m bored
- Move slower so I can catch up
- I’m disappointed in this choice/this idea/you
- This blog used to be better because _________
- I will no longer read this blog because ________
See all the contradictions going on in there? Basically if we listened to every suggestion, well, we wouldn’t have a thing to blog about. Not a single thing. And after 2,000+ posts and over four years of doing this, we’ve definitely learned that some folks like things that others hate and some people have an opinion when it comes to how they’d run this blog if it were theirs. But here’s the thing. It’s not theirs.
Which brings us to…
Tip #1: It’s your blog. It might sound weird to point out, but your blog isn’t a magazine with a team of 30 people who poll their readers and try to please the largest group (at least I don’t think it is). The very definition of a blog is just an outlet to write whatever you want and share whatever part of your life that you’re passionate about in your own words and at your own pace and in whatever way feels natural to you. Whether you do it full time or as a hobby once a month, your only real task is to be who you are and share what you like and those who like it will drop in.
In our case, we’re just two people with a dog and a kid who happened to gain a following sharing our adventures on the home front. We just write about whatever’s going on in our lives and seems interesting to us, which has gotten us here (we’re not Facebook or Pinterest, but 5 million hits a month = crazytown to two kids like us). See, if you attempt to please every last commenter, as much as you love and value your readers, know that it’s Mission Impossible – and it could even lead to your blog’s downfall (it won’t be yours anymore). So trust yourself. Everyone else might have an opinion, but your voice really should be the loudest and your vote really should be the one that counts.
Tip #2: Be who you are. That is enough. I think most people are a little guilty of the whole wanting-more syndrome. When a show ends I immediately want the next episode to come on (and I want it to be even better than the last). When I get a magazine and it’s feeling a little thin I wish it were twice as thick. And I think boxes of Oreos should be bottomless (I expect them to refill themselves while I’m sleeping). So it’s no surprise that when it comes to blogging, well, readers are inclined to want more. They might say it not-so-nicely, or very kindly indeed. And either way it might make you feel sort of womp-womp. But it’s just human nature. And I can tell you from experience that you will be a happier person and a better blogger if you make peace with that completely normal phenomenon.
You can’t control how every single person reacts to your blog, but you can control how you blog. And struggling to eke out more to the point of exhaustion or burnout (be it recipes, sewing tips, DIY stuff, photography pointers, craft ideas, or anything else you blog about) just isn’t the answer. At least not if – in the words of Claire Danes in Homeland – you’re playing the long game. Ideally your method of blogging should make you feel more inspired, creative, and enthusiastic about blogging – which in turn will shine through so your readers get just as giddy about it as you do. There’s a reason that your blog is attracting a readership and people are coming back. So just go at your own pace and concentrate on doing things well and not making yourself sick or neglecting your family because a few usually very well-intentioned folks want something that should take ten days to be done, photographed, and blogged about in five. Forgive people for being excited and impatient. We all do it.
Of course establishing these boundaries applies to other scenarios too, so if you have a family blog and folks want more photos/info about your kids than you’re comfortable sharing, know that whatever you want to share = enough. In blogging I generally think if it feels wrong (or makes you feel tired/sad/uninspired), it’s wrong. So don’t do it. As much as I hate being told to relax (seriously, ask John, it’s on his “do not ever say that to me unless you want me to go crazy on you” list), just try to relax and do your thing.
Tip #3: Try To Give The Good Feedback As Much Weight As The Bad. The funny thing is that everyone we talk to who is wrestling with comment criticism admits they still get waaaaay more positive comments than negative ones. I mean the ratio is usually astounding. We know it just takes one cutting comment to get under your skin, but when the vast majority of people love something, it sucks to let one commenter sink your battleship. Let’s do some light math (I don’t do heavy math, but light math is ok). If over the course of a week or two, 99 people take the time to say they like your blog/post/project/house/whatever and one person chimes in to say something’s not their cup of tea, that still adds up to a 99% success rate. And those are good odds my friend- so keep on keeping on! Heck, even if a ton of your readers don’t like something but you like it, I wholeheartedly think that you should keep blogging about it. Why? Because you like it and – once again, for the folks in the back – it’s your blog. Picture me up stage wearing a pant suit and a pocket protector saying “I can’t hear you!” and holding the mic out so you can shout that chorus with me. Or dancing around in this outfit chanting it with my lovely family while serving up a heaping portion of jazz hands (Burger’s clearly hiding because he doesn’t want to be seen in this getup).
Tip #4: Do everything with love. It’s admittedly extremely cheesy (and you might hear a tiny violin playing in the background) but my favorite advice is usually summed up in that phrase. It’s actually written on a post-it note that I’ve had stuck to my laptop for the longest time. When someone takes time out of their day to say something they’d most likely never say to anyone’s face (or would they…?) I’ve come to realize that spewing the same venom that they flung in my direction won’t make me feel any better (heck, it would probably make me feel significantly worse).
So I try to look at them from a place of love. Maybe they’ve had a terrible day. Maybe they’ve lost someone they love very much and they’re hurting. It may seem weird to try to have compassion for those who don’t seem to be very sensitive to your feelings, but I’m telling you that there’s something to it. It helps me respond with humor or a quick explanation from my point of view without getting too heated. Or even just with the words “Merry Christmas to you and your family!” like I did when someone said that decorating our family Christmas tree with paint chips was akin to decorating it with tampon wrappers. Growing up my mom always said that above being successful, popular, or athletic (all the things I worried about so much back then), being kind was the most important thing. And that’s something I’d love to pass down to Clara. Sing it with me: all ya need is love.
So there it is. My brain dump. I hope it helps at least one or two of you out there who might be struggling with growing and having more eyes on you. I know it sounds corny, but for us this blog is just about sharing our adventures and hopefully helping you guys along the way. That’s why we make videos about grouting and cabinet painting and take so many photos and share every last detail – in the hope of helping a handful of you guys at home. And it’s also why we love sharing behind the scenes blogging stuff like this (since so many of you are fellow bloggers these days). I am completely embarrassed to admit this, but we wrote the Thank You part of our book a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t the part about our family and friends that made me cry, it was the part about you, our lovely readers. Crying isn’t even the word. It wasn’t cute. I was weeping. There was smeared mascara and a runny nose. The whole nine yards.
The enthusiasm, sweetness, and support that you folks send our way is nothing less than life-changing. I really mean that. The least we can do is crack open a little bit of ourselves in beyond-DIY posts like this from time to time (every once in a while we get the itch to overshare, like this and this along with our more recent J-Boom and $herdog posts). So lets get all sappy and share mom and dad quotes in the comments. Or any other older and wiser family member who said something while you were growing up that rings oh so true to you. My mom was also famous for saying “always wear nice underwear in case you end up in the emergency room” throughout my formative years. And let me tell you, she was right on the money about that too. It’s waaaaaaaay too embarrassing to go into, but I didn’t follow her advice and I royally regretted it. There were Care Bears involved. And I was 21. And I don’t think the doc grasped the concept of ironic underwear. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.
Update – Some of the most frequent requests that we get are for info about professionally blogging (how we made our site, how we grew our following, how we make money, etc) so we shared all of the details about how we started a blog, grew our traffic, and turned it into a full time job.
Jenna says
Excellent, excellent post, Sherry {or should I say, $herdog?}. This is just plain good advice all around – for blogger or non-blogger. I’ve been learning in so many areas, that my life can’t be spent trying to please others. Great post!
Brittany says
There will ALWAYS be “Negative Nancy’s” in life, but you guys have such a positive attitude. Keep up the good work!!! Most people who say ugly things probably are just jealous — you guys do what you love, have a beautiful family, and a nice house and their lives probably are a lot less wonderful :)
Jenny says
I, too, am a frequent reader but infrequently comment, but wanted to take a moment and let you know that your honesty, humbleness, and humor are appreciated in a time when there is so much negativity swirling in most everything we encounter in our daily lives. Your blog and attitude are refreshing! Thank you so much for letting us– the random, general public– into your lives!
Caroline says
Rock on, $herdog. :)
Tara says
I don’t blog but I absolutely agree with everything you said 100%!! Kudos to you and John for being yourselves and encouraging others to do the same.
Heidi P. says
Oh that post was all sorts of good! And tampons?! Hahaha.
I am so incredibly impressed by you guys. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! I once left a negative comment on someone’s food blog and have totally regretted it ever since. I was definitely going through a rough time and I think I just unleashed in that comment. I tried not to make it mean, but it was just an unneccesary negative suggestion. I hope it doesn’t haunt her! I still feel bad!
So I’m glad you’re able to remember that about people, that we’re not always on our best behavior and sometimes there are extenuating circumstances.
Also, hiLARious about your mom and underwear! And the care bears :D. My mom: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Nicole says
Just want to say that I love this blog, you guys keep me going through those rough spots in renovations! Plus both of your senses of humor, and the Burger&Clara pics are a little slice of sunshine!
N-Dog
Dog Pound Represent!
Kala M. says
I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that feel certain things aren’t there cup of tea but that doesn’t mean they need to call something ugly or just say mean things. What ever happened to the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I think that also goes for if you don’t like a blog then don’t read it. You don’t need to put others down. I’m sure there are a few projects that you guys have done that I wouldn’t do in my house but I’m just so impressed with your creativity and how you put everything together. You guys like it and it works perfectly for your family and that is what matters most! Keep up the great work!!
Cristina s. says
We love you. For everything. Stay positive, stay you. Someone once told me always think about PACE. Positive Attitude Changes Everything. Thanks for sharing the “ugly” side of things since we all face criticism in the workplace at some point.
Katie J. says
I’ve been reading your blog for over three (!) years and I cannot think of one time that I have ever been disappointed in a post/project/design choice… That’s a long time.
I may not always comment on the things I love, but I couldn’t dream of saying something negative. Because it’s perfectly imperfect. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t change it… because I would hate to have to stop reading after all this time;).
Beth says
I’ve never left a comment before, but I stumbled on your blog this summer and since then it’s been a daily highlight ever since. I’ve never followed a blog before, and I’m not even sure how I stumbled on yours, but I’m so glad I did!
I absolutely and thoroughly enjoy pretty much everything you write about. You guys are such a source of inspiration and just pure simple enjoyment and smiles! Glad that you’re sticking to what works for you, and thanks so much for doing what you do! You seriously add a little light to my day at work. I hope I can be as creative as you guys one day, because you’re all wonderful!
xoxo, Beth
katelyn says
I don’t comment very often, but I wanted to say that I absolutely ADORE you two. Your fun quirky attitude makes me so happy! It’s astonishing that some people can be so insensitive and downright rude! I admire you both so much for staying true to yourselves and really being the example of turning the other cheek. Keep up all the awesome work. You inspire so many!
seansmom says
Well said! I think newer blogger forget that they started their blog for their own entertainment or to share with friends and family. When they get comments from others, they begin to sometimes lose that thought. My dad always said “You can’t make everybody happy and there is at least one killjoy out there with your name on them.” I’ve tried to keep that in mind whenever I do things. I figure, as long as I’m happy and hubby/son is happy, then that’s all that matters.
That said, I want to chime in on the “Iowa thing”. I live in Iowa too and if you need a place to stay when you do your book tour to meet all of us Iowa folk who will stare at you in the airport,(ha ha!) our guesthouse is open to you.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw you’re so sweet!
xo,
s
Tawnya says
Awesome post! Thank you for sharing and encouraging! I especially love the last point – do everything in love. Keep sharing and blogging!
Jenn says
I started reading your blog last year when I bought my first house and was googling “upgrade ideas” and various plays on that. I fell in love with it immediately. I thought you both were so charming and real that I subscribed then spent every spare minute reading through every post from beginning to end.
Once I caught up, I did on occasion find myself bored with a post here and there, but I reminded myself that you guys cannot possibly remodel as quickly as I read. I wonder if other readers fall into that trap, they find you, they devour all the upgrades from the past then get impatient wanting to see what happens next forgetting that it took you four years to go from start to finish on your last house and it will probably take you longer with this house because it’s bigger and you have a child now.
Also, being in the midst of a remodel-an-entire-house mess myself, I get how slow it can go and how the smallest projects seem like huge accomplishments. (I finally swapped out a light fixture in a room and took about 17 photos of it and emailed it out to my family and they were like “Yeah, a lamp. Awesome. *eye roll*”)
Anyway, I’ve found that when I come across a blog post (anywhere on any of the many blogs I follow) that I’m not interested in, it’s really really easy to just skip it.
So, to sum up. You guys are adorable and fun and weird, and I like it.
Samanta C says
*Long comment alert, beware*
wow, tampon wraps? really? what the heck is wrong with people?
Our world is amazingly diverse and has created loads of creative people that then stuff the internet and TV with pretty things to look at. And this is very cool! We like being surrounded by beautiful things, and furthermore, being reflected by said things. It is awesome that our home can reflect our style. It is a great thing that we want to be our best selves and have our environments reflect that! It is not great, however, that we expect everyone around us to also be their best selves according to our personal standards.
Sometimes I get the impression that we now live in a society that expects everyone to have EVERYTHING be catalog-worthy; your pets, your kids, your house, your clothes, your hair, your job, your make-up, your friggin toilet area… And if it is not catalog-worthy, oh, the sacrilege! We should all be trying to at least be pin-worthy. People EXPECT this. It is no longer just a note-worthy appreciation that you can take or leave. People EXPECT that if you’re in the creative business, you will be impeccable or handle the fire for failing to be impeccable and handle it like a champ (at risk being even more criticized, this time for not handling it well). How is this fair? Why do these self-imposed judges not have not care about phrasing a critique perfectly, but the ones receiving the critique are expected to receive it perfectly?
I don’t know, this to me just seems like such an aberration. Of course, being a creative person does imply that you will face criticism more than the average person. But come on, tampon wraps?? Telling someone their child is ugly?? People are getting out of control with their opinions and are now crossing lines that should always stay untouched regardless of your occupation and level of exposure. There is no excuse for saying these things. Justify it all you want with “there’s freedom of speech” and “well what were you expecting?”, but this is a matter of common decency and respect. You can criticize anything AS LONG AS you do it in a respectful, appropriate way. Period.
It seems unfair that the ones generating beauty are the ones who must endure such harsh feedback. It is like punishing people for putting themselves out there and generating ideas (good or bad)! Doesn’t that seem restrictive and discouraging? Thankfully a ton of the creative folks handle this as best as they can and keep generating art. And I admire them that much more for that.
Rant over. Sorry.
Liz says
I’ve never commented on your site before, but I do check it frequently! I started reading while I lived in Roanoke, VA (my mom saw the article in the Washington Post and knew that I’m always looking for ways to improve my home for very little money). I have used tons of your ideas in our rental homes, to make them feel more like us, and you were one highlight when I found out my husband was going to be transferred to Richmond this past summer. I feel like we are neighbors now that I live in your city and know what stores you are talking about. I’ve been secretly hoping for months that I’ll run into you somewhere so I can tell you about how I love the no-sew crib skirt for my twin daughters’ room, and how my family photo collage looks so much better now that I’ve sprayed all the frames an gorgeous espresso so they all match perfectly. My most favorite design aspects in my home come from ideas from this blog! Thanks for sharing with us!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Liz! I bet we will run into each other one of these days!
xo,
s
Liz says
I read every day, but rarely comment, but I just wanted to thank you for this post. I’m not a blogger, but I guess that doesn’t really matter, since these tips can apply to the nonblogging world, too. This is supercheesy, but I actually try to incorporate more of your optimism in my daily life. (I’m a teacher, and sometimes just being enthusiastic will rub off on the kiddos.) Thanks for your positivity, inspiration, and for letting me into your world!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw Liz, you have no idea how melty and happy it makes me to hear that you’re a teacher spreading the optimism. So many of my teachers shaped who I am now (and I remember them all!!!) so you have no idea how many people you’re touching!
xo,
s
Dani says
Thank you Sherry and John for this post – I will be “pinning” it so that it will remind me to keep positive with my blog and my craft in general. A while back my bedroom design got ripped apart on a larger design site and it seriously made me consider giving up the blogging thing. But you are right, my regular readers were more than positive which should be all that matters.
Thanks for putting things in perspective!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, I’m so sorry that happened Dani! So glad this could help in some little way.
xo,
s
Liz says
When someone gives you a negative comment just remind yourself that you were on the Nate Berkus show and they weren’t. :)
Amanda @ Serenity Now says
Bravo!!! What a fantastic post. It stinks that one negative comment (just one!) can totally defeat the other kind/encouraging ones. Pinterest sometimes doesn’t help when someone Pins your project (yay!) but leaves a description like “this is a cool ____, but really ugly colors” or something like that. Such great advice to remember to look beyond the comment and consider that the person might be going through something.
Thanks for sharing this! :)
John@Our Home From Scratch says
I tried to comment at like 10:10 am, but I think my computer blew up. Thanks for this post. Luckily, we’re still building traffic and comments, so we haven’t had to deal with any real criticism yet. I feel like there is a blog etiquette. If you see something you like, you praise it. If you don’t like what you see/read, then don’t say anything at all or just be supportive of the effort put into a post or a project.
Callie says
I love the blog for many reasons, but I totally get all your corny puns and pop culture references, because, well, I’m the same age as you and I totally get them and love them!! Who cares if no one else likes or gets them!! :)
Cori says
Love your blog! Great post today. My favorite quote I heard on this topic is “Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.” Wish people would realize this! Also- love that one of John’s don’t go there words is “relax”. Glad I’m not the only wife who despises being told that!
YoungHouseLove says
That and calm down. Haha. They just never work out in his favor. Love your quote too!
xo,
s
Heidi P. says
Oh yeah – I recently told my mom to calm down. She was not happy about that. We were in a restaurant. It was reeeeeeally awkward.
YoungHouseLove says
Haha- it’s just one of those things. Totally makes you much less calm than before it was said. Haha.
xo,
s
S'Mo says
I agree with the love-fest going on here: y’all are awesome, and your blog is awesome and inspiring, and I admire the way you handle negative feedback! I definitely try to keep your outlook in mind when looking at teaching evaluations each semester…
My family has our own favorite words/phrases that we like to use. My younger sister developed the best insult of all at the tender age of 4: “bird doo-doo brain.” I find it’s very effective when stuck in traffic.
For a more serious one, though, my mom used to tell us as we left for dates/outings/etc., “Make good choices.” It’s another one that I think applies to myriad situations, including dealing with the haters out there.
YoungHouseLove says
Love those- two great ones! One is slightly funnier to say I must admit! Haha.
xo,
s
Brittany P says
I just thought I’d point out that there are probably tons and tons of people who LOVE your blog (like myself), but don’t post a comment or send positive emails your way for one reason or another. So although there may be a nasty commenter here and there who feel the need to voice their dislike, there are so many more people who support you and are cheering for you and waiting for your next post, whatever it may be, in anticipation…and may never write how much they look forward to whatever you’re willing to share with us. So, thank you for being yourselves and continuing to share your stories with us. On behalf of the non-commenters: we like you, we really like you! :)
YoungHouseLove says
Aw shucks, Brittany, thanks!
xo,
s
Sara says
Mom Quote/Advice (after the birth of my first son) :
Wash his butt everyday.
YoungHouseLove says
Bwahahahahhaha. Good advice.
xo,
s
Maggie says
I started reading your blog awhile back, after it was covered in The Denver Post. I’m a grandma, so I have children and grandchildren your ages.
I decry the common currency nowadays of anonymous hatred and nastiness some feel they have a right to express over the Internet.
I commend you for having compassion for those of a nasty bent, and to not take criticism personally. It’s hard to let it just roll off.
Personally, I enjoy how you write about projects, as I have some of the same issues with some of my DIY and home maintenance projects, both pictorially and content wise.
I’m not really a dog person, but I even enjoy Burger posts, and Clara, well, what can I say. I love kids.
So keep up the good work, and “nix the comments that are snarky.”
Marina says
“Tip #4: Do everything with love.”
WORD.TO.LIVE.BY!!!
P.S. Brought tears to my eyes.
erin says
Spill it! What’s the deal with the 21-year-old Care Bear undie incident?
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, I can’t talk about it without getting red-faced. Basically it involved me wearing ironic CareBear underwear at the ripe old age of 21 and having a super crazy out-of-nowhere heath scare (kidney failure) and being rushed into the hospital and then meeting my super hot doctor who saw my underwear and then for some reason I tried to explain that they were ironic or a joke or something and then started stuttering and saying things like “not that everyone sees them so it’s sort of like a private joke for me” and it was terrible. You know when a voice in your head screams “shut up right now and stop rambling!” – that happened.
xo,
s
Abby says
I love your blog, check in everyday and don’t have anything negative to say about it! Another thing to point out about your “Tip #3,” where you say “99% success rate”, even if what you are doing is not that one persons cup of tea, it’s ok! We are all so different and of course there will be times people won’t LOVE everything you are doing, so I say you are still 100% successful! :) You guys have really helped me to develop my own style and pinpoint what I really love in my home. So thanks!
Kelsey says
Number 4 is so true, cheesy or not. I recently had an experience that proved the point. We were hosting a raffle to raise some funds for our adoption and there was a miscommunication with one of our entries (she had given us two email addresses and we sent her virtual ticket to only one address and then she was looking for it the other address’ inbox so she thought we took the money and ran). She wrote several nasty comments on our blog suggesting that we were scamming people (boy was I glad to have a comment moderator!) I was so offended and vented to my much-more-rational husband who suggested I just kindly send her a new ticket. A few weeks later I got an email from a friend of hers saying that she and her family were about to lose their house due to a huge amount of medical debt from some traumatic health issues that had arisen. I suddenly had so much compassion for her – after all, how often do I assume the worst of people when I am not at my best for whatever reason? With financial and medical stress, I can totally sympathize with her reaction to fearing getting scammed out of $10! I wish I had had your advice to respond in love back then! Glad I have it now. :)
YoungHouseLove says
Such a poignant story! So glad you learned about those circumstances so it could shed some light on how things went down!
xo,
s
Evy says
Thank you for sharing the good and the bad. I like your blog just the way it is. Keep having fun with it!
By the way the tampon wrapper is really funny. That gives me an ideal. I will decorate our tree with cute candy wrappers next year.
YoungHouseLove says
Haha- that’s cute! Send pics!
xo,
s
Stacey says
Aw guys! Thank you so much for this post! I work for a Public Library and we are trying to branch out and keep up, so we got a blog and we are ALSO having negative blog comments. About a public library! About free books and movies and music! About free internet! It has been so hard trying to know that our patrons who we see very day face to face then go home and say terrible things about what we are sharing… But my boss, who is from The Garden State too (she won’t let us say New Jersey, how funny!) has the mantra “Kill’em with kindness” and it does help. Thanks for posting this and everything else, we love your style and humor. We also have nicknames that we’re waiting to catch on (Stay-SAY anyone??). All the way from Mississippi, sending you good thoughts!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw man, a free public library with free books and free internet?! That’s crazy. So glad you don’t let it getcha down! Work it, Stay-SAY!
xo,
s
Stephanie says
Great post. I really don’t understand why people leave negative comments on blogs… if you don’t like something, DON’T READ IT!
And on that note, I think Young House Love is great. Not every post is my favorite, but I keep coming back because as a whole, I enjoy the content and your personalities. And I can’t imagine how difficult it is to produce project after project and post after post, EVERY day. Kudos.
Mary says
I can’t remember how long I have been reading your blog, and I am guilty of thinking most of the things you just mentioned at one time or another, but you guys are definitely doing something right, because I check in every single day and if there is nothing new that day, I sometimes go back and read the old stuff. Keep it up, we love everything you are doing, even if we don’t always love it! As far as Clara and Burger are concerned-More More More is all I can say!
Rachel says
I’m relatively new to your blog, and I have nothing but love for your cute little family! I bought my first house in August, and I stumbled upon your blog while looking for some ideas. I’ve learned so much from reading your old posts and projects. Thanks to you, I’ve found inspiration to complete all kinds of small projects around my house without breaking the bank. Although my boyfriend might not thank you too much, because he gets pulled into helping with some of my off the wall DIY ideas :)
Thanks for doing what you do and ignoring the Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers out there!
Amy @ this DIY life says
You asked about the advice. My McDad (step-dad) once told me when I was looking for a new job that life is too short to not do something you’re passionate about. In July I found myself sans employment, like so many other people, and decided it was time to do something I’m passionate about. I know what that is, just have to figure out how it can make us some cash-ola.
Thank you for doing this. I haven’t had any truly negative comments on my blog yet (knock on wood), just one that was kinda snarky. I have read plenty of comments on other blogs that were just plain mean. I still remember one that I read on here that was someone criticizing pictures that Katie B took of Clara. I remember just sitting there and re-reading it thinking how absolutely rude and out of line he was. Miss Katie is so uber talented. I also remember your response and thinking that I would have never come up with something so diplomatic. I know that a negative comment will come at some time so I just keep reading to see how others handle them – teach me master Yoda. :)
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Amy. You’re so sweet!
xo,
s
Lindsay says
WONDERFUL POST! I absolutely LOVE #4. If only everyone in the world could live by that. Just imagine.
Some advice I try to live by is this: People may not remember something you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
Love YHL!
YoungHouseLove says
Ooh that one’s a good one! Love it.
xo,
s
Laeh J says
That’s so weird! Do people really view public blogs like they do television shows or movies? IMHO, non-company-run blogs are just people sharing things that they would be doing regardless of if anyone was watching. They can exist with or without readers.
I’ve been seeing a growing number of Pinterest-related problems cropping up. Sad, but that’s life in 2012.
Kelly Ray says
You guys are GREAT! Thanks for this post and for sharing your lives with all those who come to sneak a peak each day. What I find strange about mean anonymous commenters is that they continue coming back for more. If you don’t like something, move on with your life! What’s the point in being a bully in someone else’s space? Anyhoo, great advice! Keep it up :)
Diana @ Boy + Girl says
Wow! What a great post! I know so many of us aspire to have a following like you do but it’s true – more people reading your blog could mean more people hating your blog. I think your best advice is to remember that it’s YOUR blog. The best advice my Mother gave me is “The best revenge is living well.” And you guys are!
-Diana
Karo says
I love to read your comments section when i have the time–the YHL community offers great tips and insights and i’ve learned from your readers as i’ve learned from you. Couldn’t help but drop in on the nest (which i’d never even heard of) after reading the thread you referenced, and, ewwww–how can people waste their time being so unpleasant? Last summer when I moved to a new area, I was shocked that the local (and highly touted) mom blog had so many rude and personal comments. The nastiness even made the paper. I thought at the time that I should’ve sent you all a message to thank you for creating such a pleasant online community. I didn’t then, but am now–thank you for keeping it clean and fun and inspiring!
Kate of zmombie.com says
Thank you for this. I have NEVER been good with taking criticism. Just the other day I took a post down because of some comments I got (from family, mind you).
For the record, I think you guys are awesome! My dream “who I’d like to have for a dinner party” list has you on it!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, I’m totally blushing over that. Let’s have a giant YHL meal someday! Everyone just come over and we’ll throw some spaghetti in a pot!
xo,
s
sweetkaroline says
“It helps me respond with humor or a quick explanation from my point of view without getting too heated. Or even just with the words “Merry Christmas to you and your family!” like I did when someone said that decorating our family Christmas tree with paint chips was akin to decorating it with tampon wrappers. ”
I. died. laughing.
You are a saint for putting up with such insane/hateful comments. Your blog is amazing, I love it!
Jessica Y says
When I see a mean, not just negative, comment, I always say, “Really?!?, what is wrong with people?” If it is bad in blog land, it is horrific on places like YouTube. I don’t even read comments on videos anymore. Why do people have to curse, call people ugly names and say I wish you were dead on things like a makeup video? I think it would be helpful for people to remember that the person commenting doesn’t even know them and probably wouldn’t recognize them if they met in public.
Jana says
You cant please everybody all the time…it bears repeating which is why I am glad you took the time to post on the subject AND I am impressed and proud (does that seem strange?) that your practice is to respond with compassion and kindness (something that I think too many have discarded in favor of drama). Kindness just puts out the fire of a negative comment and situations in general.
I will remain a loyal reader because I admire your values, which you weave effortlessly into your posts. Your awesome projects and interior beautifications are just a bonus.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Jana! You guys are all so sweet!
xo,
s
Amber says
We like to refer to those people as internet trolls. You know big, ugly, hairy things with no home training and nothing nice to say about ANYTHING.
Shelley @ Green Eggs and Hamlet says
I love your blog, I love you guys, love that you’re so honest and that you’re willing to devote your lives and work so hard so DIY homeowning newbies like me can benefit from your knowledge. Thanks for what you do and please keep doing it however you think works best.
Lindsy says
I think you guys are great and look forward to reading your blog every day during my lunch. Your posts are always interesting, inspiring, and keep me motivated, no matter what they’re about. Thanks for this post and for being so real!