It was fun to crack open a little bit of our personal “stuff” last Tuesday for this post about the real $herdog (yes, I’m still patiently waiting for that nickname to catch on) and John’s J-Boom version. And a funny thing happened after sharing those. Not only did they receive over 1,200 amazingly awesome and encouraging comments (note to self: apparently you’re not a social pariah if you admit that you sometimes have strawberry cream cheese on your ear and are inclined to impersonate Cindy Lou Who) but we also got dozens of emails – not even exaggerating – asking about how to deal with criticism and respond to negative comments. And thus this post was born.
I guess by sharing all of our weird idiosyncrasies it encouraged people to write about something they’re struggling with and ask how we handle it? It also could have had something to do with this thread on the $herdog post. Either way, the emails mostly came from folks who run small blogs who have somehow fallen into larger readerships thanks to being pinned on Pinterest or otherwise thrust into the spotlight suddenly (like a feature on Apartment Therapy or Design Sponge). And the general gist of every single email was this: someone was blogging along about whatever they blog about (some of these people aren’t home bloggers at all) and then… zinger… it happened. A not-so-nice comment. And it stung.
With more readers definitely comes more “feedback” – both good and bad. And you know I’m happy to be that spunky little cheerleader on your shoulder shouting high-pitched overly-enthusiastic things like: “you can do it!” and “reach for the stars!” – so here’s my humble advice in a nutshell:
- It’s your blog.
- Be who you are. That is enough.
- Try to give the good feedback as much weight as the bad.
- Do all things with love.
Sounds corny huh? But I’ll explain how those four things have really helped us deal with the whole “you’re putting yourself out there and I’m anonymous so I’m going to tell you exactly how I feel” phenomenon. After all we’ve been told (both nicely and not so nicely) a few of the following things:
- I’m not really interested in posts about _____, so I vote you skip them
- I’m losing interest in big projects – do more little ones
- Do more big projects – the small ones are filler
- I want more Clara and Burger and everyday stuff
- I want less Clara and Burger and everyday stuff
- That paint color/art/room is ugly/not the right choice
- Stop using certain words/expressions because they make me cringe
- Stop being so cheap and spend some money
- Stop spending so much money and be more frugal
- Move faster, I’m bored
- Move slower so I can catch up
- I’m disappointed in this choice/this idea/you
- This blog used to be better because _________
- I will no longer read this blog because ________
See all the contradictions going on in there? Basically if we listened to every suggestion, well, we wouldn’t have a thing to blog about. Not a single thing. And after 2,000+ posts and over four years of doing this, we’ve definitely learned that some folks like things that others hate and some people have an opinion when it comes to how they’d run this blog if it were theirs. But here’s the thing. It’s not theirs.
Which brings us to…
Tip #1: It’s your blog. It might sound weird to point out, but your blog isn’t a magazine with a team of 30 people who poll their readers and try to please the largest group (at least I don’t think it is). The very definition of a blog is just an outlet to write whatever you want and share whatever part of your life that you’re passionate about in your own words and at your own pace and in whatever way feels natural to you. Whether you do it full time or as a hobby once a month, your only real task is to be who you are and share what you like and those who like it will drop in.
In our case, we’re just two people with a dog and a kid who happened to gain a following sharing our adventures on the home front. We just write about whatever’s going on in our lives and seems interesting to us, which has gotten us here (we’re not Facebook or Pinterest, but 5 million hits a month = crazytown to two kids like us). See, if you attempt to please every last commenter, as much as you love and value your readers, know that it’s Mission Impossible – and it could even lead to your blog’s downfall (it won’t be yours anymore). So trust yourself. Everyone else might have an opinion, but your voice really should be the loudest and your vote really should be the one that counts.
Tip #2: Be who you are. That is enough. I think most people are a little guilty of the whole wanting-more syndrome. When a show ends I immediately want the next episode to come on (and I want it to be even better than the last). When I get a magazine and it’s feeling a little thin I wish it were twice as thick. And I think boxes of Oreos should be bottomless (I expect them to refill themselves while I’m sleeping). So it’s no surprise that when it comes to blogging, well, readers are inclined to want more. They might say it not-so-nicely, or very kindly indeed. And either way it might make you feel sort of womp-womp. But it’s just human nature. And I can tell you from experience that you will be a happier person and a better blogger if you make peace with that completely normal phenomenon.
You can’t control how every single person reacts to your blog, but you can control how you blog. And struggling to eke out more to the point of exhaustion or burnout (be it recipes, sewing tips, DIY stuff, photography pointers, craft ideas, or anything else you blog about) just isn’t the answer. At least not if – in the words of Claire Danes in Homeland – you’re playing the long game. Ideally your method of blogging should make you feel more inspired, creative, and enthusiastic about blogging – which in turn will shine through so your readers get just as giddy about it as you do. There’s a reason that your blog is attracting a readership and people are coming back. So just go at your own pace and concentrate on doing things well and not making yourself sick or neglecting your family because a few usually very well-intentioned folks want something that should take ten days to be done, photographed, and blogged about in five. Forgive people for being excited and impatient. We all do it.
Of course establishing these boundaries applies to other scenarios too, so if you have a family blog and folks want more photos/info about your kids than you’re comfortable sharing, know that whatever you want to share = enough. In blogging I generally think if it feels wrong (or makes you feel tired/sad/uninspired), it’s wrong. So don’t do it. As much as I hate being told to relax (seriously, ask John, it’s on his “do not ever say that to me unless you want me to go crazy on you” list), just try to relax and do your thing.
Tip #3: Try To Give The Good Feedback As Much Weight As The Bad. The funny thing is that everyone we talk to who is wrestling with comment criticism admits they still get waaaaay more positive comments than negative ones. I mean the ratio is usually astounding. We know it just takes one cutting comment to get under your skin, but when the vast majority of people love something, it sucks to let one commenter sink your battleship. Let’s do some light math (I don’t do heavy math, but light math is ok). If over the course of a week or two, 99 people take the time to say they like your blog/post/project/house/whatever and one person chimes in to say something’s not their cup of tea, that still adds up to a 99% success rate. And those are good odds my friend- so keep on keeping on! Heck, even if a ton of your readers don’t like something but you like it, I wholeheartedly think that you should keep blogging about it. Why? Because you like it and – once again, for the folks in the back – it’s your blog. Picture me up stage wearing a pant suit and a pocket protector saying “I can’t hear you!” and holding the mic out so you can shout that chorus with me. Or dancing around in this outfit chanting it with my lovely family while serving up a heaping portion of jazz hands (Burger’s clearly hiding because he doesn’t want to be seen in this getup).
Tip #4: Do everything with love. It’s admittedly extremely cheesy (and you might hear a tiny violin playing in the background) but my favorite advice is usually summed up in that phrase. It’s actually written on a post-it note that I’ve had stuck to my laptop for the longest time. When someone takes time out of their day to say something they’d most likely never say to anyone’s face (or would they…?) I’ve come to realize that spewing the same venom that they flung in my direction won’t make me feel any better (heck, it would probably make me feel significantly worse).
So I try to look at them from a place of love. Maybe they’ve had a terrible day. Maybe they’ve lost someone they love very much and they’re hurting. It may seem weird to try to have compassion for those who don’t seem to be very sensitive to your feelings, but I’m telling you that there’s something to it. It helps me respond with humor or a quick explanation from my point of view without getting too heated. Or even just with the words “Merry Christmas to you and your family!” like I did when someone said that decorating our family Christmas tree with paint chips was akin to decorating it with tampon wrappers. Growing up my mom always said that above being successful, popular, or athletic (all the things I worried about so much back then), being kind was the most important thing. And that’s something I’d love to pass down to Clara. Sing it with me: all ya need is love.
So there it is. My brain dump. I hope it helps at least one or two of you out there who might be struggling with growing and having more eyes on you. I know it sounds corny, but for us this blog is just about sharing our adventures and hopefully helping you guys along the way. That’s why we make videos about grouting and cabinet painting and take so many photos and share every last detail – in the hope of helping a handful of you guys at home. And it’s also why we love sharing behind the scenes blogging stuff like this (since so many of you are fellow bloggers these days). I am completely embarrassed to admit this, but we wrote the Thank You part of our book a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t the part about our family and friends that made me cry, it was the part about you, our lovely readers. Crying isn’t even the word. It wasn’t cute. I was weeping. There was smeared mascara and a runny nose. The whole nine yards.
The enthusiasm, sweetness, and support that you folks send our way is nothing less than life-changing. I really mean that. The least we can do is crack open a little bit of ourselves in beyond-DIY posts like this from time to time (every once in a while we get the itch to overshare, like this and this along with our more recent J-Boom and $herdog posts). So lets get all sappy and share mom and dad quotes in the comments. Or any other older and wiser family member who said something while you were growing up that rings oh so true to you. My mom was also famous for saying “always wear nice underwear in case you end up in the emergency room” throughout my formative years. And let me tell you, she was right on the money about that too. It’s waaaaaaaay too embarrassing to go into, but I didn’t follow her advice and I royally regretted it. There were Care Bears involved. And I was 21. And I don’t think the doc grasped the concept of ironic underwear. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.
Update – Some of the most frequent requests that we get are for info about professionally blogging (how we made our site, how we grew our following, how we make money, etc) so we shared all of the details about how we started a blog, grew our traffic, and turned it into a full time job.
Marcy says
I read your blog every single day. A confession in the interest of full disclosure- sometimes I check a few times in one day to see if you posted again and I even check on weekends to see if you posted. I never post comments or feedback.
My solitary post on your site was related to “Snuggle Puppy” because I feel that on so many levels I have nothing to post about. It’s not really my place to criticize something that you two pick out and I might add pay for with your own money. I’m just here because you inspire me to keep learning how to do new things myself. You are sharing something pretty personal with the internets- who are we to judge?
People in our modern world never cease to amaze me with their open and occasionally mean critiques and general rudeness. Now unless you’ve completely fleeced me and you both are total j to the capital ERKS you would never do any of the rude things that have been done to you.
All said, I felt compelled to post today to encourage you to keep at what you are doing because it’s cool and clearly people like you, they really like you!
So I will leave you with the following motivational quote/song lyrics to continue fighting the good fight:
1. “Haters gonna hate.” -Unknown
2. “Ring the bells that still can ring/Forget the perfect offering/There is a crack in everything/It’s how the light gets in”- L. Cohen
Yours in DIY,
Marcy
Michelle says
Amen, $herdog. (see, it is catching on.)
I don’t have a blog, and I probably never will. I’m an avid reader of several and there are times when I think, “hmmm, not liking that so much.” That’s fine, I’m entitled to my opinion (as is everyone.)
HOWEVER, I am a FIRM BELIVER that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it. constructive criticism is one thing, but being mean is unnecessary. You’re right that good comments far outweigh the negative, but it’s the negative ones that hurt. And hurt far more than the good ones can lift us up, I think. How is it different from cyber-bullying? I don’t know…
Keep doing what you’re doing!
Kathleen says
Your post made my day.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, so glad!
xo,
s
Camille says
Regarding what one poster said, I actually WON’T read Apartment Therapy because there are so many, absolutely ridiculous, incredibly rude comments. Seems like a great blog, but I just got too angry skimming through all the hate.
I think receiving negative criticism is directly tied to your financial success as bloggers. Bummer for you! People are mean; people are jealous. Most people work hard at jobs that they can’t stand. You guys just happen to be part of the handful of bloggers who has made it a financially viable career, and it pisses people off. I don’t think most of them would admit that: but I bet if they had the sense to really examine why they were so comfortable being pissy/negative/critical to total strangers, it would trace back to their own stress and disappointment.
I personally think ‘this’ generation of readers and bloggers is desensitized by the anonymity of the internet and their lack of class is shocking.
Dana P. says
My former youth pastor always used to say, “Your circumstances don’t define you, but the way you react to them, does.” I think this post proves that. Just because people are negative doesn’t mean you have to react negatively or let it get under your skin.
I really appreciate the balance you all provide in your posts. You deserve all the success you’ve received.
(**P.S.–my husband and I are under contract on our first home and I’ve been scouring your past projects for ideas. Thanks! We’re in Henrico…do you have a list on your site for local stores that you like to frequent?)
YoungHouseLove says
Wahoooo! Congrats on your first home! We wrote this post about our favorite Richmond places and it has some local shops that we love (and thrift stores galore): https://www.younghouselove.com/2011/02/five-richmond-top-fives/
xo,
s
Kristen @ Popcorn on the Stove says
[I’m not sure if my original comment went through so I’m going to retype/paraphrase it (if the original did go through, sorry for being repetitive).]
I think that the internet definitely encourages people to say things they wouldn’t normally say in person. Overtime, people become desensitized and don’t realize that what they’re saying is hurtful (or maybe that’s what they’re intending… who knows). I’ve been blogging for almost a year and almost all of the comments I get are encouraging, even if they don’t agree with a decision or choice I’ve made but I’m sure the day will come when someone isn’t very nice. Criticism is far different than an attack. It’s always better to hold your head up and to be kind. Just think of all the fans you DO have :)
Julia says
What a great post to get the warm fuzzies going! Similar to what you wrote in the thank you section, I think you guys mean more to your readers than you know. You are always sending good, positive, supportive messages out that make my day a little brighter!
Also, I want to know both more and less about the care bears…
Happy Friday!!
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, let’s just say it would have been ok if I hadn’t tried to explain myself. There was stuttering and blushing and a voice inside my head was screaming “just stop trying to rationalize the Care Bears and shut up!”
xo,
s
Kim says
Love your blog, love your posts, all of it.
Lindsay says
This is just what I needed to hear. Thank You.
YoungHouseLove says
So glad! You’re welcome!
xo,
s
Robyn says
I love Young House Love just the way ya’ll are! My favorite blog ever. I have read and followed you guys everyday for years! Heck, I get upset just thinking about someone talking smack to $herdog! It’s like they are talking negative about my sister or something! haha
Shannon @ Bungalow960 says
This post is brilliant. As a new blogger, I haven’t had any criticism yet… but I know it’s coming. I also hope to get Shandog to catch on. My boyfriend always said I needed a nickname!
YoungHouseLove says
Haha- whoop whoop, Shandog in the house.
xo,
s
Barb says
Love you all !
Kellie says
I just love you guys and your blog. I don’t know how anyone could possibly have negative things to say about anything you guys do – you rock every project with self-deprecating humor. I can, however, understand that some folks are just jealous of “doers” because they are not. But that is so not your problem – I’m so glad you guys do what you do. I’m constantly inspired. Thanks for putting yourselves out there!
Chelsea says
Oh Sherdog,
I love your blog…I can’t tell you how excited I am to see something posted everyday! Being a “struggling college student” (hopefully not for too long lol) you guys give me so many tips to still have fun and decorate and stretch my cents soooo far! Yall are amazing so keep on going with your bad selves!
BTW- the other day I was reading your blog and I completely laughed out loud (while I was in a meeting) at Burgers tour of the closet. Absolutely hilarious!
Have a great weekend :)
Kerstin says
Hallo Sherry,
you don’t have to approve this comment, I just thought it was the easiest way to contact you:
I just read the post about you being guests of that improv show tonight and I clicked on the page of that group.
http://www.rvacomedy.com/2012/01/13/richmond-famous-young-house-love/
The only comment on this page was from “The real J-Boom”. At first I thought it’s funny that John did responded, but when I clicked to that comment it linked to this site:
http://www.regalhomewatch.com/regal-news/
They have copied some of your blog posts into their blog. I hope it’s only some VERY strange way to get people to their site and nothing worse.
Just wanted to tell you.
Have fun tonight, greetings from Germany,
Kerstin
YoungHouseLove says
Ugh, yes they have been feeding our posts. Here’s hoping we can get to the bottom of it. Thanks for the tip!
xo,
s
Allyn says
I’ve never ever understood why people are so harsh on blogs. If you don’t like it, find something else. I’ve heard the internet is pretty big.
You wouldn’t expect to be best friends with everyone you meet, so why would you expect to be best blog reader to every blog you come across?
I think the only reason I would have post something really negative is if they were reccomeding that you shake babies or kick old people.
Otherwise, I just unfollow. Easy peasy.
Keep it up guys!
Monika says
It must be so hard to put yourself out there and I don’t understand why people would negatively comment. Mean-os! Here’s a quote for you, which I love, and which I think represents you guys, because you make our little dyi dreams come true!
“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, I love it.
xo,
s
Christina says
This really couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you tons!!!
YoungHouseLove says
So glad!
xo,
s
Jill says
That pictures of Clara laying down on the chair is adorable and melted my heart. I love you guys and hate that any bloggers have to deal with rude people. You and John are so talented – keep it up!
Rhune says
The only thing I can think of regarding Care Bears are their united power of Care Bears Stare! Did the word “Stare” happened to be near the no-no region, and that doc can’t help but continue to stare anyway?
Sorry if that was way off. I wish I was more imaginative. :(
YoungHouseLove says
Haha- it was more that I couldn’t stop talking about them. I was trying to explain that I was “wearing them as a joke” and just kept stuttering and saying things like “not that I make jokes with my underwear- nobody sees them but me so it’s a joke to myself…” – it was a train wreck.
xo,
s
Brigid from www.naturallyattached.com says
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Makes me feel better:)
Jenny says
“Growing up my mom always said that above being successful, popular, or athletic (all the things I worried about so much back then), being kind was the most important thing. And that’s something I’d love to pass down to Clara. Sing it with me: all ya need is love.” This totally made me tear up. We don’t have kids yet, but I think about wanting to pass this along to my kids all the time. Being kind is so important (and I, along with everyone, slip up from time to time with this). My former boss gave me this quote on a sheet after a particularly rough day dealing with some of the higher ups at our company. I kept it taped to my computer monitor for years: “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” -Dr. Seuss. I think it’s so important to remember that we are all the same in so many ways, rather than focusing on our differences. Y’all are awesome! Keep on keepin on!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw I love that quote too! So sweet.
xo,
s
Krystal says
Sometimes I read the awful comments people send to you, like the tampon wrapper one or when some one said Burger wouldn’t mean anything to you once Clara came along, and I just sit and think “Why would they even think that is okay?” I just don’t understand some people, but I so admire your approach to the mean comments. I think you are both great examples that showing kindness is more powerful than hate and spite.
On the topic of words of wisdom, I will always remember one afternoon when I found my dad woodworking in the garage. I asked him what he was building, and he replied, “It’s not about the end, Krystal, it’s how you get there. Just enjoy what you’re doing and you’ll be happy with the result.” I was 13 at the time and thought he was crazy, but don’t you know I spent my entire afternoon in that garage watching him build. Every time he made a mistake or let out a curse word, I would ask again, “So, what’s wrong? What are you trying to make?” And he’d just look at me and say, “You’ll have to wait and see.” By the end of the afternoon I realized I had wasted my entire day watching my dad build a trash can…until I later realized that I spent the entire day with my dad, so it wasn’t wasted at all. And it might seem bananas to any one who doesn’t know my reasoning, but 8 years later I still look at that trash can and remember to just enjoy the ride of life and stop worrying about where I’ll end up.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw, that’s such a sweet story. Your dad sounds awesome.
xo,
s
Andrea says
What an awesome post. You guys are great, and all of your readers appreciate the hard work that goes into the writing/crafting/and DIYing that fuels your blog. One thing that’s always surprised me is how people use the interwebs to tear others down (just read the comments on any Yahoo article about a famous person – seriously cringe-inducing). I’m firmly in the “if you can’t say anything nice, shut your mouth” camp.
Elizabeth says
Good post Sherdog!!! I’m having a major sucky life mental health day today and it’s great to read some encouraging words for adversity.
Lindsey says
[title of show], a musical about four friends who decide to write a musical, has a terrific song called “Nine People’s Favorite Thing.” The chorus goes: “I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing, than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing.” I always try to remember that thought when something negative or personal about my work comes flying my way.
That being said, I love your blog and the fearless way you attack every project, large and small!
YoungHouseLove says
I love that!
xo,
s
AmiDawn says
i read your blog every day, and really only ever comment on the giveaway posts, but i just had to tell you that my mom also encouraged clean underwear in case of car accidents, and also that i had ironic carebear and superman undies when i was in college… but thankfully never had to show them off in an emergency room!
YoungHouseLove says
You my friend, got lucky.
xo,
s
Jen R. says
my only complaint about your blog is that i never win the fab freebies:) kidding kidding. love your blog. feel like you two are my besties, in that creepy “i’ve never met you, but i stalk your blog” kind of way:) thanks for all your hard work!
Cassie @ Back to Her Roots says
Okay, you must have been reading my mind because I SO needed this post right now.
I’ve been struggling a lot with striking the balance between what I want to write about, and what my readers want to see. I even went as far as doing a user survey (with almost 500 responses) to see what kind of content they want out of me. But the way you put it is so simple and clear. I write about what makes me happy. And people will read because of that. And if they don’t…oh well!
Although I’m not sure I’ll ever get the sting of the truly mean comments. I guess that means I’m human, right?
Thank you. :)
Cassie @ Back to Her Roots says
Side note, I discovered a forum/website out there that is solely dedicated to snarking on blogs. Right now 90% of the content is fitness, cooking and wellness blog snarks (my genre) but it has a little bit of everyone. At first, I sucked it up and read the posts because I thought it’d make me a better blogger/writer to know what people wanted, but then I found myself so down and depressed everytime someone would bash me, that I stepped away. The snarks weren’t constructive or helpful, they were just plain ole mean-spirited. Sometimes it’s so hard to believe what people are capable of writing. And honestly, if they are capable of writing that stuff, I don’t want them as readers anyway.
End rant.
YoungHouseLove says
Yikes, sounds like a cheerful place. Haha. So glad you’re steering clear!
xo,
s
Hannah says
I’ve always followed the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” wisdom. Seems to have worked out so far.
And not that you guys are fishing for compliments, but you’re totally AWESOME! This is the first blog I started following (and I even went back and read every post–all the way to the beginning–because I love your blog so much). I can’t wait until a new post comes up, so I can find out what new adventure is happening in Petersik land. And I talk about you/your blog all.the.time. Like so much that my family gets annoyed with it! LOL. I think you have great principles, and I’m astounded by all the choices you’ve made (like not taking freebies). Things like that make people want to read (and become overly crazy/obsessed).
Ok, awkward creeper session over. Have a great weekend!
Amy says
This couldn’t have been timed more perfectly. I just started a cooking blog about 2 months ago, and this week I received my first mean comment – that literally made me cry. So this post was obviously very empowering to me – thank you for writing it and continuing to inspire me!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Amy I’m so sorry! Hope this helps. No more tears girl!
xo,
s
Hanna says
ooops, I think my comment timed out. I’ll sum up.
…and as for the whole underwear thing, thank you for bringing back the horrible Oscar the Grouch “I love trash” underpants episode. :P
Word to the wise — if you wear sesame street underpants as a grownup, don’t let your four year old see you in them because he will tell EVERYONE you meet that day, including your father-in-law, who will proceed to tell the story at Thanksgiving dinner for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
YoungHouseLove says
Bwahahahahahahaha. Hilarious. And maybe more embarrassing than my underwear snafu. Maybe.
xo,
s
Lisa says
I HAD THOSE UNDERWEAR!!! And my embarrassing incident with them occurred in a co-ed changing room after swim practice. I didn’t live that one down for a looooooong time.
YoungHouseLove says
Ooh, coed changing room sounds worse than my hot doc/stammering issue.
xo,
s
t says
There are some things I love, others not so much . . . but who cares, it’s your life, your home. So blog away with abandon and over-share as much as you want – the Clara and Burger posts often make me laugh out loud and I need to do more of that.
I just appreciate that you share your experiences and I can learn from them.
And besides, mean people suck!
Urban Wife says
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys are AWESOME!:)
From the perspective of a reader, I just have to say that I read certain blogs because I choose to do so. No one is forcing me, asking me, coercing me, etc. to read and if something offends me or isn’t my cup of tea, then I simply don’t read that blog.
Why some human beings actually expend energy on being hateful will never make sense to me! One thing my Mom always said to us growing up was something along these lines: “The person might one day be your boss/friend/family/co-worker so don’t do or say anything unkind to them. You just never know.”
I’m glad you guys keep it real. That is one reason I keep coming back for more. Whoop-whoop!
Marissa says
“Believe in yourself and the magic will happen.” I LOVE this saying that my grandparents told me growing up. Really, if we don’t believe in ourselves, then who will?
Laura says
Great post! Yours is the only blog I read…LOVE it. I feel pretty certain that those people leaving negative comments are probably doing the same thing on ten other blogs. There will always be those people who MUST share their opinions, and it’s usually those people whose opinions are NOT asked for. My mom always told me “be sweet”, whether I was going to a friend’s house, getting out of the car at school, going to church, etc. It’s much easier to be annoyed by critical people than to smile and just be sweet about it. I’m trying to teach the same to my daughters as well. Oh yeah, and bravo to y’all on your grammar. I’m pretty sure the improper use of their/they’re/there among people on the internet is going to give me gray hair. Come on, people! Go back to second grade!!! LOVE your blog! :)
YoungHouseLove says
Aw I love “be sweet!” – I’ll have to work that in for Clara too!
xo,
s
Tamara says
I have always noted with admiration how kindly you have responded to the harshest of comments. One of many reasons your blog is one of my favorites.
Erica says
Wow – another timely topic and post that I needed to see. Keep up the great work.
You see – my husband [who has yet to experience the blog YHL firsthand – although I happily give him regular updates during our commute together – LOL] and I have been slogging our way through renovations on our home that we purchased 2 years ago….we’ve made some big changes, but we still have a looooong way to go!
We’ve been frustrated at how cumbersome it is to share our progress via FB and email only. We’ve only recently thought about taking the plunge and blogging about it.
Your site has definitely been an inspiration on how to handle some of the ups and downs. What I like best is how you “keep it real” and encouraging.
Kudos to a great team. If we manage to get a handle on the whole web thing – we’re definitely going to make it a point to share it with y’all!
maria says
Great post! I recently got a little extra exposure for my artwork thanks to the popularity of a new illustration series i worked on. it got featured on some really popular sites and blogs and mostly the feedback has been positive but then the negativity started rolling in and it hurt my feelings a lot and made me upset. it made me upset because it was just work i was doing for myself, i didn’t submit it to these blogs, i didn’t ask for people opinions or feedback. but then i took a step back and realized that he snarkier comments came from a place of jealousy. i am fine with critiques, but just being mean is never necessary.
i have to say i went to the nest and looked at the comments about yhl and most of it was extreme jealousy, some of it was just opinions, which everyone is entitled to have (this is another thing i try to remind myself). i know you realize how incredibly lucky you guys are that you can make a living off of your blog and spend time with your child without running to day care, having others raise them etc, and most people don’t have that and its frustrating to them and they are jealous.
but people shouldn’t be jealous they should be inspired, which i am by you guys. besides my own little studio (which i have used so many ideas for from your blog!) i don’t do home decorating or anything but i find inspiration from you guys in my own art, and to keep going with what you love and doing what you love is more important than exposure and popularity and making people happy. which i too learned, you just can’t please everybody and the internet makes people bold and they just say whatever is on their mind. sorry for the novel lol but thanks for the fabulous post.
Ali says
Geez. Against my better judgement, I searched The Nest Boards for Young House Love. Damn my curiosity. Why would people just have an entire public conversation about how much they dislike your blog?…It was like going back to highschool with all of the petty trash talking. Blergh. They don’t write very nicely about your readers either. We’re all a$$-kissing zombies apparently.
Grrr…. I need to take a page out of the Petersik book and not get too offended on your behalf.
To end on a positive note: I thought your Christmas tree decor was perfectly suited for your personalities. It was funky and cool and DIY inspired. =)
Jennifer says
You guys are providing us information, education, entertainment, inspiration, and “virtual friendship” … all for FREE! As readers, it our choice to love it or leave it. I cringe when someone leaves a mean or even a nit-picky comment. [I secretly want to hunt them down … and say “for real?”] You’re putting yourselves out there and the majority of us love every single wonky word and picture! :)
Kitty Conner says
Mama Conner used to always say:
“Have a cookie and a glass of ginger ale. Take a nap. THEN you tell me what the problem is.”
Now that I’m a grown up, Mama Conner says (by phone):
“Pour yourself a cocktail. Drink it. Pour yourself another and go to bed. Call me in the morning and THEN you can tell me what the problem is.”
Basically, Mama taught me to sleep on it and maybe my priorities will change.
YoungHouseLove says
Haha- hilarious. It’s always better in the morning!
xo,
s
Faith Hickey says
Great post and sage advice! My Dad always says, ‘You can’t count someone else’s money.’ Meaning that some people choose to spend their money on their homes, other people choose to take extravagant vacations – deciding how to spend your money is a personal thing and you can’t judge someone else’s decisions.
YoungHouseLove says
Ooh that’s a good one.
xo,
s
tara says
Love you guys and love your blog! my day just hasn’t begun until I’ve drank my coffee while reading YHL:) I love all your posts, whether they are about organizing a closet, building furniture, or entire renovations! You guys are kind and thoughtful, funny and quirky and I just can’t get enough:)
People who make comments like the one about your Christmas tree really are having a bad day or just aren’t true $herdog and J-Boom fans!!
Katy says
What great advice, especially for a little blogger like me!
THANKS!!!!
~Katy
mariela says
I still, to this day, have not seen anything on your blog that I didn’t like, and even if I did, I would just keep my negative opinion to myself. If I don’t have anything nice to say, I won’t say anything. Its your house, your blog, and if you love it then that is all that matters!
stephanie says
thanks for always being so honest! i’ve been reading for little more than 3 years and really respect the work y’all do and the passion y’all do it with. My circle of girlfriends and I literally interject our conversations with stuff you’ve done. Keep up the great work and if y’all back ever make it to Charleston, SC there is a reader who would love to show you the best of the best! Happy Weekend!
Megan says
So far I have had one negative’ish comment. It just rubbed me the wrong way. I went crying to the cool kids on campus (you guys) and you responded with some words of wisdom. As a teacher with the latest issues with stripping union rights I actually had to boycott facebook and stop reading any comment boards because people were just downright nasty. It upset me too much. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. My sister’s friend died from anorexia and you wouldn’t believe the awful comments people left where they were suppose to be leaving their condolences. It really does make my heart hurt to know there are such hateful and hurtful people out there. Keep on doing your thang $herdog See, its ca-ca-ca-catching on! (Five! Five!Five dollar footlong. You know you are singing it. Man! That Subway song its catchy!)
YoungHouseLove says
Ugh, that’s so sad for your sister’s friend (and everyone who knew and loved her). I’m so sorry about that and for your loss.
xo,
s
Sarah @ The Strength of Faith says
This is an unbelievable post – I think I can apply the lessons to parts of my life not related to blogging, to. xo
Katy B says
I think you guys are pretty humble, that has always been a part of your charm as far as I am concerned. That and the fact that you don’t take advantage of your readers with “tag sales”, where you charge inflated prices on used items that they can get retail for less, because some blind follower will buy it.
I will admit I did not read all this, maybe later. However, as a frequent blog reader I wanted to address the “it’s my blog and it is free” issue. Many bloggers blog to have fun. Some do it for cash flow, and these are the ones who need people like myself. Like it or not, we both need each other in a way…and by “in a way”, I mean technically the money makers need myself more.
I have had a long outstanding theory on fame that I think applies to bloggers. Famous people (say any member of the Jackson or Spears family) did not start out in crazy town. They were nice normal folks at one time. Then they got famous and hired a staff of people to follow them around and agree with everything they say. Thus, eventually they got some insane ideas that were sadly affirmed (Neverland compounds and shaved heads).
On a much smaller scale, bloggers are much the same. They have people kissing their donkey (my daughter’s phrase) all day in comments. Sometimes, they may get a little swelled head. Hence, I think a little CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is a good thing.
On the flip side, I do think there are some unhappy people out there who do like to burst people’s bubbles for fun. Bad chi unahppy people….bad.
Hope this makes sense. I am at work, please forgive all grammar and spelling errors.
Amelia says
Rock on $herdog! I love your blog! It makes me happy and inspired. I am so glad (and jealous) that you get to do this as your full time job.
Also, I wanted to let you know that I burst out laughing when you said that John is entering dangerous waters when he tells you to ‘relax’. I turn into a crazy red-eyed monster when my husband tells me to ‘calm down’… It’s one of those times where you realize how completely crazy you sound when you are screaming “I AM CALM!!!!” (you know… with at least one explative thrown in there)
YoungHouseLove says
Oh yes, calm down is also on the do-not-use list. Hahaha.
xo,
s