Since it’s Thursday afternoon and we’ve been known to veer off into random territory (like this, this, this, and this), I thought I’d toss another one on the barbie, er, blog. Below are things you probably never knew about me and John. Is it proof of our over-sharing tendencies? Yes. Evidence that we’re more than a little weird? Absolutely. But we just had so much fun with a Ten-Things-You-Didn’t-Know-About-Us post waaay back in 2009…
… that we thought it was high time we broke out this post three years later. So without further ado, some random bits:
1. I’ve always wanted to name a band. Not be in one or marry a rockstar. Just name one. All the time I say something weird and exclaim “that would make a great band name!” My favorite band name brain child: “What Ever Happened To Breckin Meyer?” (said out loud after seeing an old Road Trip trailer). Other favorites: “Exhibit A” and “Venn Diagram.” I know, I know. I’m certifiable. But it’s my idea of a good time. Also, I came up with “Pass The Mustard” last night and I’m kinda into it…
2. We assign babies to correlating animals. In a very very loving way. For example Clara’s a turtle. And a little bird. We see both of those animals in her all the time.We have about a million pictures that we glance at and say “Tuuurtle!” or “It’s The Bird!” She also has cousins who are a chipmunk, a bear, a monkey, and a puppy. Seriously, they all have assigned animals – at least in our heads. Here’s Clara’s “angry bird” face.
3. I know she’s not everyone’s cup of tea (and I might be a little scared if she was), but I’m totally under (as in, in no way over) Bethenny Frankel. I’ve seen every episode of Housewives Of New York, Bethenny Getting Married, Bethenny Ever After and even read her book called A Place Of Yes (I thought hearing about things like almost getting on the regular Apprentice and ending up on the Martha Stewart one were fascinating because there’s lots of behind the scenes stuff). And this next part might be polarizing to admit, but once a few years ago after a particularly good old episode of Housewives of New York I turned to John and said “now I totally understand why people get tattoos of celebrities.” Yikes, right? I just adore her hilarious honesty about herself – and I know some people are over her now, but I’m still on the train. She’s just so quick to confirm that she went crazy or had a lapse of judgment instead of denying it. I think it’s refreshing and I try to use that as my inspiration when I’m feeling defensive. That’s right, Bethenny Frankel is my inspiration. Hey, whatever works, right?
4. Nearly almost every day of Clara’s first six months on this planet she peed on her dad while he changed her diaper. We heard that was only a boy thing, but as soon as the first diaper came off, she just let it flow. And she usually made the face below. Is that not a Dr Evil/Mini-Me face or what? Hilarious. Note: John did not find it as hilarious as I did.
5. John’s favorite comeback (well, maybe second to “That’s What She Said”) is “Your Face.” No matter what someone says. For example, this dialog has actually transpired in our house – Sherry: “Oh man, did you leave that bag out in the car?” John: “Your face.” And for some reason I laugh every time. It’s his catch phrase. And I guess if pressed mine is “I do what I want!” spoken in a faux bratty tone. Even as a response to John asking if I’ll hand him the remote (which I then do and follow up with a pouty “here, but only because I wanted to”). Dorks for life.
Now it’s your turn. Tell me five random things, or at least one, about you. Do you put ketchup on your steak? Sing show-tunes in the shower? Count stairs whenever you’re on them (I totally do that in my head most of the time). Come on guys, let’s have some Thursday afternoon bonding, shall we?
Lisa says
I time myself doing EVERYTHING, empty the dishwasher 3 mins 23 seconds, take a shower 5 mins flat ~ I annoy the hell out of myself!! LOL
Oh, and I call my daughter by so many different names I’m not sure she knows what her REAL name is … Lily Pie, Liver Lips, Lila Kia, Liver Spot (super mean, she had a strawberry under her eye as a baby) its gone now but the name stuck, Lila Palooza, Liv … but never Olivia!
Lynn @ Our Useful Hands says
It took me all night and I had to enlist the help of my Michael but here are finally a few things you don’t know about me…how could you? ;)
1. Whenever my husband and I have a cup of tea together and he tips his cup up to take a sip I’ll tilt the bottom up a little like “Drink up.” ala Dumb and Dumber when Jeff Daniels gets Turbo Laxxed and Jim Carrey is encouraging him to drink it all.
2. I am a Haitian creation. Both my parents are from there. We get loud when we’re happy! :)
3. I am still trying to reenact Johns Aquatober because I cheated out of it about 2 weeks in. I know I’m more disciplined than that! My only hangup is that you can’t really attach Aqua to any other month and have it sound as good. Aquaember? Don’t think so.
4. My husband says I’m funny?
5. My favorite sayings are “Quit ridin’ my back!” and “Dangit Jim!” Michael hates the second one because Jim is my best friends dad and growing up we always thought it was hysterical when her mom would get upset and yell that across the house. He feels that it’s not fair because Jim can’t be there to defend himself ever. Man code perhaps?
My best, Lynn
*I feel like now I should make a laminated list to keep on my person in case I’m ever asked this again…
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, the laminated list is a good idea.
xo
s
lrlockwood says
ok! so when someone is talking to me or i’m sitting on the couch watching a show. I totally type out what they are saying…. OK! so i will play “Air Typing” on my leg or just move my fingers to the words as if I were typing. no one knows I do it, it’s a SECRET! shhhhh.. I guess it is just my love of typing. Maybe that’s why i can type 85 WPM because I am ALWAYS practicing… :P
Convo of me and my 15 year old daughter
DAUGHTER: That’s stupid
ME: Your mom’s stupid
DAUGHTER: I know! That’s you!
ME: SOOOOOO! and I stomp off…
LOVE THIS POST!
Heather D says
I started the “your face” in our house and now we say it all the time. We even go as far as saying “tu cara” also!! Hilarious!!! I think its just because it makes no sense and so its the PERFECT response!! I also picture people as animals, but I do adults too!
Miss. Sadie K. Cassidy says
Well, since I didn’t see this yesterday… GOOD MORNING!
1. I eat my scrambled eggs with ketchup, which until my adult life had no idea wasn’t normal… I still have a hard time believing that sometimes!
2. My boyfriend & I have “dances” for stores when we shop. It started with the good ole HEB dance, which is actually more of booty shake, hands to the side, rock our heads kind of thing. It currently has transpired into something we do nearly EVERYWHERE we go & just rename it ie Target Dance, Macys Dance, etc. We are WAY more amused with each other than anyone else EVER is- funny we’re always surprised by this HA!
3. We are the Blue Team. WHenever we’re about to do something, go somewhere, start a project we proclaim to the world (or sometimes just ourselves) “Blue Team, move out!” cue the high fives ^5.
4. Number 4 I’m just paying homage to this incredibly entertaining post/ get to know everyone sess you 2 LOVELY peeps have going here AWESOME! In fact, I thought I was laughing enough reading them ALL UNTIL I started getting quite the kick out of MYSELF typing mine. We’re all Beautiful Messes = )
5. Lastly, well I’ll jump on the we have a dog & do ALL SORTS of funny things with her name. Her tags read Sakura (the flower) Shea (as in Shea Stadium) but we;ve been known to sing & call her anything from Sakura Shea Bay to Koony- which actually somehow came to be from singing Hakuna Matata to Hakoony Matata, to Hakuna Sakura. I really don’t know. And sometimes we even change her name all together for the night & see how confused she gets before she realizes we’ve temporarily changed her name- then we go back to Sakura LOL! Sick, I know. Can’t wait to have kids, lololol (yes, that was my evil laugh.)
Thanks for this, have GREAT weekend!!!
Nancy says
I “type” phrases that I hear on TV, in conversations, etc. Not on an actual keyboard — just in my head and with my fingers. I’ll be holding my hubby’s hand while we’re walking and he’ll feel my fingers moving and ask what I’m typing. Sometimes I’ll be surprised by the question as I wasn’t really aware that I was doing it. Oh, and I figure out how many letters are typed on each hand. When the phrase comes out with an even number of letters on each hand it’s a winner. Sometimes I’ll even add “the” or “a” to it to make it even. No idea why I ever started doing that but it’s been going on for years.
lrlockwood says
SOOOOOO glad I’m not the only one that does this. I don’t play any games “WIN!” or anything but When I am holding my boyfriends hand he catches me moving my fingers or pressing my fingers into his hand and is like “What are you doing?” “ummmmm….. NOTHING!”
Here’s my post:
ok! so when someone is talking to me or i’m sitting on the couch watching a show. I totally type out what they are saying…. OK! so i will “Air Type” on my leg or just move my fingers to the words as if I were typing. No one knows I do it, it’s a SECRET! shhhhh.. I guess it is just my love of typing. Maybe that’s why i can type 85 WPM because I am ALWAYS practicing… :P
Amanda says
When our daughter was 5 days old we did a newborn photo shoot. The photographer wanted a naked baby picture and right as we started to take it, Reagan got super fussy. We decided to feed her, and as my husband gave her the bottle, she pooped all over him. It went everywhere, him, our dresser, our rug. I laughed until I cried, but for some reason he didn’t see it the same way haha!
Melissa G says
The most random thing I do that most people don’t know is when talking I actually “type” out the words with my fingers if I’m sitting down. I will put my hands on my chair or legs and will talk like normal, but my fingers start to move as if I’m typing on a keyboard an sending a verbal email. So weird.
lrlockwood says
SOOOOOO glad I’m not the only one that does this. I don’t play any games “WIN!” or anything but When I am holding my boyfriends hand he catches me moving my fingers or pressing my fingers into his hand and is like “What are you doing?” “ummmmm….. NOTHING!”
Here’s my post:
ok! so when someone is talking to me or i’m sitting on the couch watching a show. I totally type out what they are saying…. OK! so i will “Air Type” on my leg or just move my fingers to the words as if I were typing. No one knows I do it, it’s a SECRET! shhhhh.. I guess it is just my love of typing. Maybe that’s why i can type 85 WPM because I am ALWAYS practicing… :P
Lou says
I don’t know how or when this started, and it is possible that someone else has said this (the comment total has reached crazy levels), but a long time ago I started saying “You’re a _____”, and the blank was filled in with the last word in someone else’s preceding sentence. I don’t know where I got it from. And at first it made sense… at first. But then it stopped making sense. Random adjectives or nouns that were in no way a complement or a dig started being used. Then, because of my over-use, all of my friends and co-workers and my husband started saying it. A lot. Then I saw it on South Park, (the infamous Towelie: “You’re a towel.”) and later, on 30 Rock!! I wasn’t the only one! It’s been YEARS. To this day, it is my only and most favorite come-back.
Shannon Burke says
This is fun.
1. When someone says something not smart, I instantly say “You’re Pretty” while petting them on the arm or head.
2. I have many stupid human tricks: doing the splits, fitting my fist in my mouth, wiggling my ear lobes, curling my tongue into a clover.
3. I can also make animal noises: horse, monkey, dolphin and mountain lion. Very realistic sounds…I drive monkies crazy at the zoo.
4. My best friend just accused me of introducing her 4 year old son to Nelson from the Simpsons – I did not, but was often known for the Heh Heh at some point in high school/college…as well as “I sleep in a drawer” and “I ch ch choose you”.
5. I’m uber flexible (years of swimming+gymnastics+a weird natural ability. To this point, I was streching at the gym the other night and a guy next to me said “What you’re doing right there would break me”.
Marci says
OMG, my husband says ” I ch-ch-choose you” all the time….
kayt says
I pet my coworkers, too! I generally do it as a substitute for a hug since we sit in chairs and it’s hard to hug sitting down.
Elizabeth says
My friends and I wrote TruthorDares on my Jenga set and frequently make random gatherings of people play. Nobody has ever understood what we mean by “Do a stupid human trick”!!
Jamie says
1. I exclaim “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” on a very frequent basis. Often to someone who is asking me for something very minor.
2. I almost always have a quote from an 80’s movie echoing in my head. For example, AHEM: “NINE times?”-Ferris Bueller , “He doesn’t even have his LICENSE, Lisa”-Weird Science, “Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die”-Princess Bride. And my personal favorite, “Yes, have some” Rick Morranis, Ghostbusters.
3. I must eat ruffles one ruffle at a time.
4. I say the word “ridiculous” approximately 743 times a day.
This post is awesome. More like this, please!
CJ says
I’m Italian, so when I get mad, I tend to yell. My husband used to take it personally, even though I wasn’t yelling AT him. One day I hit CRAZY traffic after work and I came home in a mood and said “I’m so pissed, but I’m NOT pissed at you, but you’re the only one here, so I’m not yelling AT you, I’m just yelling in your direction.” Now whenever I start to get pissy, he will yell at me “Stop yelling in my direction!”
We both also say “That’s what she said” all the time, and he thinks it’s really attractive when I say it inappropriately.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahahaha! Yelling in your direction definitely happens here too! Haha. I’m Italian, so…
xo
s
Amanda D says
My boyfriend and I totally do the band name thing, too! I can’t tell you how many conversations we’ve had that ended with “That would make an awesome band name!” Our favorite so far has to be Bridges Freeze First.
Since seeing Wreck-It-Ralph a couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend will randomly shout “I’m gonna wreck it!!” And I always reply with “I can fix it!!”
Also, we both play Magic the Gathering (it’s and RPG card game, kind of like Pokemon). We always end up assigning card names to people we see around. It amuses us. :)
Danielle says
Hi guys! Love this post! Here are 2 quirky things about me…when I pick up/sort through dirty laundry around the house, instead of saying in my head, ‘dirty’..’dirty’…’clean’… I say, “Delete”…”Delete”…”clean”…Delete”
I DONT KNOW WHY!! I’m not throwing them away, or ‘deleting’ them! But I catch myself saying that! My catch phrase is, “don’t judge me” mostly said when my plate has more food on it then anyone else’s…orrrr I’m going back for thirds..
Love you guys
Krysta says
I HATE, HATE, HATE those bumpy pumpkins in the fall (you know, the ones with all the “tumors” growing on them). Looking at them makes me gag. I feel the same way if I cut open a bell pepper and find another one growing inside.
jenn says
the baby bell pepper inside freaks me out too!
Krista says
1. I love Bethenny, too. It’s true and that’s all I have to say about it.
2. My husband can literally conform his face to look JUST LIKE monkey… and I cry laugh every time. 7 yrs of him making the face and it’s no less hilarious.
3. He calls me Darling-Poo or Krista-Poo. It doesn’t matter if we’re at home or in public.. We get funny looks if he just says ‘darling’ because no one uses that nickname anymore but add the ‘poo’ to the end and they look like they’ve seen someone with 8 heads.
Rowena says
You totally need to get this shirt for Clara! http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=49051&vid=1&pid=261487092
YoungHouseLove says
Hhahahah!
xo
s
Samantha says
Hahaha, these comments along with the post are killing me.
1. I definitely count stairs all the time, i love when I can relate.
2. Also, I have about every other name for my dog other than what his actual name is. Donald, Booda, Booda-dood…his name is Charlie. And I say them in every other voice besides my own, i’m weird and its fine.
3. Bethenny is my obsession, as well. I was so sad that her talk show wasn’t being shown in my area (Boston). Hopefully some day! Starting my day off with her would be great
4. I also started calling my mom Ter as a joke (her name is Teresa) instead of Mom and it stuck. And sometimes, when I’m telling something about my mom, i say “My Ter..” yeah, should probably go back to “mom”
ali says
When I was a teenager I hung with the “cool kids” at summer camp – when we got in trouble for some relatively innocent violation, the camp director pulled me aside and warned me that I should stay away from “Bad Influence Friends” since I was a good kid. That quickly got adopted into our family vernacular as “B.I.F” or, more frequently, BIF. As in, “man, I can’t stop eating this! Your dessert is so BIF!” or “I can’t believe we just watched the entire first season of 24… I have to work tomorrow, you are so BIF”
Hannah says
Umm, you know that guy, Jason Derulo? Well, in some of his songs he yells out his name as he’s singing, kind of like he’s introducing himself or something? and my husband and I think it’s hilarious and we have gotten into the habit of yelling JASONNN DERULLLOOOOO at THE most inappropriate times:
My husband: “What’s for dinner?”
Me: “JASONNNNN DERULLLLOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
My husband: “What’d you do today?”
Me: “JAAAAASSONN DERUUUUUULOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!”
we are so obnoxious and I love it.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahahah, I love this and will be implementing it immediately.
xo
s
Amanda Bolan says
My husband’s favorite come back is “My mom said I could do anything I want” – I am almost positive she meant it in the “You can be anything you desire when you grow up” NOT you can build a chicken coup in our 3ft of backyard, or any other bizarre idea he gets. I keep threatening to call his mother and ask her to clarify…. ha
Jules says
1. My catch phrase is “You shut your mouth when you’re talkin’ to me!”
2. The first thing I do when I get home from work is make myself as unpresentable and comfortable as humanly possible. I think I might gross out my husband but it feels so good to get out of business clothes at the end of the day.
3. Ever since having a baby I eat all my meals extremely quickly. It’s really bad and unhealthy and I don’t know why I still feel so rushed now that my daughter is older but it’s a habit I can’t break!
4. I can not make my own choices about my hair or “look” in general. I declared my wonderful and patient stylist “President” of my head.
5. I eat all the outter chocolate off my candy bars then eat the filling.
Summer says
I love this! I use the “your face” thing too!!! Here are some random facts about me..
1. I’m afraid of pickles… Not nearly as bad as I use to be though. I tried to ban them from my house but my husband wasn’t having it.
2. I call my daughter “Mama”.
3. My nickname is “E”. My brother couldn’t say sissy when he was little so he would say E. :) It just stuck.
4. I love kitchen utensils! All kinds! Any store I walk into I have to go look at them, even if I’ve seen them a hundred times.
5. I obsessed with the moon. I could stare at it for hours.
I guess I’m a little weird too lol or maybe a lot!!
Mary Clutter says
Your random thoughts/comments always make me smile. I so love ‘Clara Moments’, since I am a Grammy.
As a young bride I endured a “what kind of weird guy did I marry?” moment when first seeing my husband and his family put mustard on bacon! Now our children-in-law have experienced the same thing and our grandchildren are having to decide which way to go…weird or straight!
Thank you for making me smile when it is sometimes difficult to find a reason to do so. :)
Mara Smith says
I quote movies and songs all the time. For instance, yesterday a girl at work said, “look at that tree blowing”. I replied back with my Nell impression .. “tayyyyy in da wiiiiin” and continued on with “sku in da bewwwy”, “jay ga anja”, etc.
I also talk like Forrest Gump when I announce I’m going to the bathroom. “I gotta pee”.
My favorite movies to quote from are Forrest Gump, Shawshank Redemption, Joe Dirt, the list really does go on and on!
Ryan says
A couple weeks back, I was standing in the paint department of Home Depot with my two year old son in the cart waiting for paint to be mixed. A nice, older lady was standing waiting as well when someone a few aisles over dropped a box and there was a loud bang. My son immediately pointed at the nice lady and yelled, “SHE FARTED!” I died. But it only got worse. She smiled and politely said, “No, I didn’t fart. Someone dropped something young man.” I also corrected him and told him we don’t say things like that. But he’s in the determined/head strong toddler phase. Her denial just clinched his resolve. For 5 minutes, he kept yelling “SHE FARTED!” and pointing to the lady at every passerby, no matter what I did to stop him. Time after time, he informed other customers that this poor lady had farted “so bad” and “it smelled like my dog’s farts”.
It was awful. And hilarious. I offered to pay for the lady’s paint I felt so bad (I mean, my son publicly accused her of farting for 5+ minutes) but she was so gracious. She has grandkids his age apparently and understood. Thank goodness.
We went back to Home Depot a few days later. I pulled up and parked and he said, from the back seat, “Remember that lady who farted when we buy paint?” *head desk*
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahahah!
xo
s
Zoë says
That last part has me crying over here. That poor lady.
Laura says
My husband and I sing about our cats ALL THE TIME. Seriously – we insert their names or the word “kitten” or “meow” or “purr” into every song we listen to.
The Friends theme song: “so no one told you kittens were gonna be this way (meow meow meow meow).
Sweet Caroline: “sweet Puddleglum….kittens never seemed so furry…”
And when a song doesn’t have lyrics we make them up. About the kittens.
Also I have the giantest crush on David Tennant.
Laura says
Also when we buy something that’s going to sit and be displayed somewhere in our home we have to first subject it to the poke test to see how easily the inquisitive cat will be able to knock it over. So you can with alarming frequency find us in target poking a lamp or something several times.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahahah! Hilarious!
xo
s
Karen says
My spouse and I do the exact same thing! We joke that if someone were to walk into our house at the wrong time we would be institutionalized! And, PS, I applaud you for naming a kitten Puddleglum….gotta love the Silver Chair!
hollyloo says
i once had a dream about breckin meyer. i hopped on the metro and sat down. next to him. i suddenly realized that my arm hair was really, really long—like braid-able long—and as i chatted him up i kept petting my arms trying to smooth it down hoping he wouldn’t notice.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh my gosh!!! I love it.
xo
s
Stephanie Klopp says
Best. Dream. Ever.
Brynn says
Wow great post, loved reading so many of the comments. We also do the “that’s what he/she said and wayyy too much! I totally count stairs! But I also…
1. Sometimes count tiles in bathroom. I have a shy bladder so I have to take my mind off things to get going.
2.My husband has book that he uses to record whenever I say something ridiculous, such as the time I told him it didn’t matter it was “half of one, six dozen of the other”
3.I don’t like to eat different meats at the same meal, unless one of the meats is bacon.
Jessica says
I had to reply even though your comments have blown up:)
1. I count stairs, and when walking on sidewalks each foot has to cross the same amount of cracks.
2. My husband always says “trash can” in response to everything. It especially makes sense when i’m asking about the location of things.
3. My husband and i haven’t fully combined our banking stuff yet, so when he writes me checks the memo line can get quite interesting. Like $600 for ham sandwiches.
4. I am a designer who works on macs, and i often think in real life “I wish i could apple z that” if things like folded laundry falls over
5. We have a chihuahua too who came with the name of Pixie, which we don’t really like, so she now also answers to pixal and small dog, little dog, and anything that has to do with her gets “dog” put in front of it. For example, “I’ve caught your dog tail” or “stop licking your dog parts”
Sarah M. says
We do the dog thing too! “Aww, are you wagging your dog tail now?” “Look at his little dog face, he’s so happy!” My husband is all about the “your butt” comment (instead of John’s “your face” … but your comment reminded me that if I am looking for something lost and ask him, another go-to for him is accusing me of eating the lost thing. (“Where’s my left boot?” “I think you ate it” “No, I don’t think I did” “Yeah, you did. I remember seeing you eat it last night.”)
Elizabeth says
I love nuts but I hate them in any kind of dessert.
This Navy commercial goes through my head when I see a minivan. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekJMZn6Rzo
I also put a dollar in my vacation jar every time I pass a Prius while staying at or below the speed limit. Helped finance a trip to San Diego that way
RS says
1. My husband and I love The Office so when we answer questions, we say “yesh” instead of yes.
2. Whenever I see something I like, I instantly say “my precious” like Gollum from LOTR.
3. I tend to think all things have feelings so if I drop something like a bottle cap in public, my husband has to restrain me from picking it up because I think it needs me.
4. Whenever I cook, I present my husband and son plate like a Price is Right prize.
5. Every single time my husband and I go to his parents’ house, he either breaks something or knocks something down.
*bonus: Whenever I say Pivot, I say it like Ross said it on Friends.
Now I’m embarrassed. Lol.
Sarah M. says
“pi-VOT!!! pi-VOT!!!!” LOL
Jill says
I’ve got a perma-grin at my desk and I’m getting strange looks from people. So glad everyone has let their freak flag fly high today!
For whatever reason, as soon as our kids go to bed, hubby and I turn into horrible potty mouths. F-bombs flying all over the place. It’s like we’ve reverted back to being in college or something once the kidlets are out of hearing range.
And, we invented a game called the b*tch game. Basically, at the end of every sentence you pause, then say “b*tch.”
“Oh, I love this movie….b*tch.”
“Could you get me a glass of water?….b*tch.”
We crack ourselves up.
Sarah says
Oh man, I am the queen of being random and awkward. It’s a skill. And I am also guilty of the bizarre catch phrase, only I didn’t even make mine up. I stole it from my ex! Now I say “Show your work” to everything. “It’s a nice day today.” “Show your work.” “I think that pillow would look better on the couch.” “Show your work.”
Also, I am really bad when I’m talking to doctors. I want to give them the most accurate picture possible of whatever I’m experiencing, and I end up giving them all kinds of weird descriptions. “Yeah, so, it’s like my heart turned into a hummingbird and somebody has it in their fist yelling, ‘No, hummingbird! No flight for you!'” Or, my favourite (though not for the faint of heart) was the time I complained to my gyno after getting an IUD (seriously, this should tell you to look away if you’re sensitive) that, “I’m fine, except for the bloody twat snot.” Yep. I’m classy.
Ashley in NC says
Oh my gosh, I must have read almost half of these posts and I am crying laughing! I can relate to so many of them!!
I personify EVERYTHING and I’m pretty sure it’s all my mom’s fault. Example, I remember going shopping with her when I was little and she would ask me if I wanted the purple or pink shirt. When I would answer her that I wanted the pink shirt, she would say, “Awwwwww, poor purple” and put it back on the rack. She did this for everything and now I can’t even pick shampoo without feeling like I’m leaving the other guys behind!
My boyfriend sometimes gets little bursts of energy when we’re alone and will do a little dance and yell out (he would kill me if he saw this), “Scabble dee be bop!” Neither of us have any idea where this word came from. I once mentioned it to his mom (a nurse) and I’m fairly certain she was ready to have us both committed. I told him he needs to start running around the yard to get out his energy!
Karen says
My spouse always makes fun of me for “ruining” my attempt at being cool in junior high. I decided to jump on the bandwagon of buying up teeny bopper magazines and ripping out the pages to tape to my bedroom wall. I had everyone important: New Kids on the Block, JTT, Rider Strong, Matthew Lawrence, and Mario Lopez…and then I made the ultimate mistake according to some. Right in the middle was a picture torn from Reader’s Digest of Tom Selleck…what can I say, Three Men and A Little Lady was an awesome movie and I couldn’t help myself!!! I think my spouse is on a quest to make sure I never live it down and that everyone we know finds out about it!!
Rachel says
I always make up silly songs for whatever I’m doing. My husband thinks its hilarious. It will be something like “brown, brown, brown the beef.”
He then calls me at work and begs me to sing them and loves making me get all embarassed! ha
MJB says
Funny, funny comments. And I’m late to the party but I’ll add…
My husband and my tagline is “at least I don’t beat you” in response to any criticism. Me: “You forgot to pick up milk” He: “at least I don’t beat you.” I use it on him too.
This dates back to when we were dating and I was furious at him for… something (can’t remember now but it was really, really important) and his response was, “I think I’m a pretty good boyfriend. I mean, it’s not like I beat you or anything.”
I told him he should set the bar higher.
He even had the phrase engraved on an Ipod Touch he gave me for Valentine’s Day. Needless to say, it makes my kids’ friends raise their eyebrows when they read it. :)
PS I do band names as well. My band name for me and my running friends “Weezer and the Heavy Breathers.” (One of my friends had asthma.) I felt vindicated when the real group Weezer came on the scene years later.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahaha, Weezer and the Heavy Breathers = gold.
xo
s
Shanny says
Allison Burg…she knows you from sometime in her pre-Shanny life. I don’t recall how though. Hmm I should ask her!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh yes!! She was in my high school! So funny that she goes by Ally! We were at the same bus stop together. Hah.
xo
s
Meredith says
My husband also says “your face” and “that’s what she said”. And he puts jelly on his eggs – weird.
jenn says
1. i communicate to cats through meowing back and forth and im pretty convinced they understand me.
2. i cannot tell time on a clock, i have to count 5, 10, 15, 20 every single time.
3. i make llama noises at my sister which sound more like dolphin noises but it’s our thing.
4. i know every word to i like big butts.
5. i ALWAYS sweep things into a little pile but NEVER onto the dust pan and into the garbage. i leave little dirt bombs everywhere and my boyfriend HATES it but i cant stop!!
Cassie says
My husband’s favorite response to any and everything is, “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” And I have NO idea where it came from! People crack up every.single.time… myself included ;)
jenn says
OH and bonus everytime i say “nothing at all” my boyfriend and i say it like flanders in the simpsons. that one episode where hes skiing in super tight pants and he says it feels like hes wearing nothing at all. stupid sexy flanders. we also shake our butts.
Jill says
Re: awesome band names, a friend on facebook posted this awesome equation the other day:
Color of your pants + the last thing you ate = your band name.
On that particular day my band name was Yellow Cracker. Other good ones were Blue Vegan Pizza, Gray Cookie, and the Brown Corduroy Pumpkin Seeds. lolz
Oh, and when I was taking bio anthropology in college I had a breakthrough theory: all the professors were slowly starting to look like the animals they studied. For reals. I could not look my professor in the eye without thinking “howler monkey.” And another looked EXACTLY like an orangutan.
It was so much fun meeting you guys at FLOR the other night! xx This post + all the comments is the best ever!
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahaha!
xo
s
Val says
I also totally attach an animal to all people really! (Not just babies!) My family l thinks Im NUTS!!
Michelle says
I probably shouldn’t mention this, but I’ve been reading these comments for the past hour. At work. My stomach is killing me from laughing so hard! And about the person who named their chicken Pants? I can’t even handle it. I laughed for 10 solid minutes and then texted it to everyone I know.
We are all over the “that’s what she said” and “your mom/face (your mom’s face?)” jokes in our house. But my husband’s favorite random comeback is Arnold’s famous “it’s not a tumor!” line. So whenever I ask a question, there’s an 83% chance my husband’s reply will be “EEEETS NOT A TOOOMUHH!”
Laina says
HAHAHAHA! I thought my husband was the only one who busted out Arnold’s “it’s not a tumor!” Hilarious!
Michelle says
LOL- I have very similar comebacks to your #5 above! If someone says pretty much anything, such as “It’s really windy today”, I’ll come back with “You’re really windy today!” I tend to just turn everything around with a “You’re (insert whatever they said to me first)” you know, like a small child would! Luckily my husband and co-workers are good sports because it can sometimes turn out really poorly! :)
Also, love that expression on Clara in #4!
Momcat says
We’ve swiped one of our son’s funniest sayings, and we say it all the time!! He said it when he was about 8 years old and it still cracks us up every time. Whenever you catch someone looking at you, say:
STOP looking at me like I’m some kind of criminal!
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahhaahahahhh!
xo
s
Mary says
1. I started calling my husband Joely bean (his name is Joel) when we started dating. Now my whole family refers to him as Joely bean lol. Sometimes I go with JB for short.
2. We have a son named Saylor. People always think it is a family name bc it is so different but nope..we just liked it. And you have to be cool with a name like Saylor!
3. I am obsessed with Saylor’s breath. His little 12 week old milk breath is AMAZE!
4. I have 6 yr old twin nephews who have referred to me as Thebomb.com since they could speak.. I wonder who taught them that :)
5. We have two wiener dogs that we like to make inappropriate jokes about…especially when we go to our ditzy vet and my husband talks about his big black wiener (dog) and everyone but her picks up on the funny inappropriateness.
Kelly says
The bomb.com = amazing, calling nieces immediately.
Tara says
John should like this one…I divide the numbers on digital clocks. As in, 5:45 is 9, 6:24 is 4, etc., like the colon is the front of that funny division bracket we all learned with. I’ve been doing it since I learned division in elementary school and can’t stop!