Since it’s Thursday afternoon and we’ve been known to veer off into random territory (like this, this, this, and this), I thought I’d toss another one on the barbie, er, blog. Below are things you probably never knew about me and John. Is it proof of our over-sharing tendencies? Yes. Evidence that we’re more than a little weird? Absolutely. But we just had so much fun with a Ten-Things-You-Didn’t-Know-About-Us post waaay back in 2009…
… that we thought it was high time we broke out this post three years later. So without further ado, some random bits:
1. I’ve always wanted to name a band. Not be in one or marry a rockstar. Just name one. All the time I say something weird and exclaim “that would make a great band name!” My favorite band name brain child: “What Ever Happened To Breckin Meyer?” (said out loud after seeing an old Road Trip trailer). Other favorites: “Exhibit A” and “Venn Diagram.” I know, I know. I’m certifiable. But it’s my idea of a good time. Also, I came up with “Pass The Mustard” last night and I’m kinda into it…
2. We assign babies to correlating animals. In a very very loving way. For example Clara’s a turtle. And a little bird. We see both of those animals in her all the time.We have about a million pictures that we glance at and say “Tuuurtle!” or “It’s The Bird!” She also has cousins who are a chipmunk, a bear, a monkey, and a puppy. Seriously, they all have assigned animals – at least in our heads. Here’s Clara’s “angry bird” face.
3. I know she’s not everyone’s cup of tea (and I might be a little scared if she was), but I’m totally under (as in, in no way over) Bethenny Frankel. I’ve seen every episode of Housewives Of New York, Bethenny Getting Married, Bethenny Ever After and even read her book called A Place Of Yes (I thought hearing about things like almost getting on the regular Apprentice and ending up on the Martha Stewart one were fascinating because there’s lots of behind the scenes stuff). And this next part might be polarizing to admit, but once a few years ago after a particularly good old episode of Housewives of New York I turned to John and said “now I totally understand why people get tattoos of celebrities.” Yikes, right? I just adore her hilarious honesty about herself – and I know some people are over her now, but I’m still on the train. She’s just so quick to confirm that she went crazy or had a lapse of judgment instead of denying it. I think it’s refreshing and I try to use that as my inspiration when I’m feeling defensive. That’s right, Bethenny Frankel is my inspiration. Hey, whatever works, right?
4. Nearly almost every day of Clara’s first six months on this planet she peed on her dad while he changed her diaper. We heard that was only a boy thing, but as soon as the first diaper came off, she just let it flow. And she usually made the face below. Is that not a Dr Evil/Mini-Me face or what? Hilarious. Note: John did not find it as hilarious as I did.
5. John’s favorite comeback (well, maybe second to “That’s What She Said”) is “Your Face.” No matter what someone says. For example, this dialog has actually transpired in our house – Sherry: “Oh man, did you leave that bag out in the car?” John: “Your face.” And for some reason I laugh every time. It’s his catch phrase. And I guess if pressed mine is “I do what I want!” spoken in a faux bratty tone. Even as a response to John asking if I’ll hand him the remote (which I then do and follow up with a pouty “here, but only because I wanted to”). Dorks for life.
Now it’s your turn. Tell me five random things, or at least one, about you. Do you put ketchup on your steak? Sing show-tunes in the shower? Count stairs whenever you’re on them (I totally do that in my head most of the time). Come on guys, let’s have some Thursday afternoon bonding, shall we?
Laura says
Oh man! These are the best comments. I’m laughing like a complete idiot at the computer. Where to start.
1. I have a serious problem with odd numbers. When numbers are visible like volume or temperature, they have to be set on even numbers or multiples of 5. My family thinks its hilarious and sets the temp on 73 on purpose. Drives me nuts.
2. My husband and I say “Andrew!!!” And blow off our nails when we find something particularly snobbish or high end. Reference from my dad’s favorite movie Overboard, where Goldie Hawn’s character plays a very wealthy woman.
3. We talk in random accents. I stick to movie characters like Stitch or Smeagol. My hubby tries to have an accent but his Brit sounds like an Australian New Yorker, etc.
4. Our dog’s name is Carabelle, however we often call her Carzzabizzle, Snuggle Fluffers, Porker, Carabou, Burrito. Her feet also smell like fritos.
5. Things that frequent nearly every conversation: Your mom, Your face, It’s my house, You’re not my mom, It’s dercious, and I can haz?
6. Whenever we snuggle or hold hands we double squeeze, or nudge eachother, or twitch so the other person can feel it. It’s our secret way of saying I love you. =)
Nadia says
For some reason, I say purple when I mean orange and orange when I mean purple. It’s totally weird. When I was a kid, like 7 or 8, I remember I’d say I had a purple cat, when in my mind, what I was trying to say was that I had an orange cat. My friends would all crack up laughing and I realized I still totally do it…Jesus, I hope it’s not a brain tumor!! Lol!
Amanda says
Um, I LOVE this post. And the comments. Amazing. I’m a teacher and one of my kids went through a phase where he would start screaming “BUT I LOVE YOU” over and over anytime we would ask him to do something he didn’t want to do. It made me laugh so hard and I’ve totally stolen it. Never fails to make me laugh.
Also, my husband and I have a thing going where we yell “It wasn’t on the list” to one another anytime we get something wrong. It all started one day when he went grocery shopping (I had made the list) and we ended up forgetting something we needed for dinner that night. When I was making dinner, I asked him where that particular ingredient was (don’t even remember what it was now!) and he got super defensive and snapped that “it wasn’t on the list!” At the time, it started a fight but just a few minutes later we were cracking up at how ridiculous the whole thing was. It’s turned into our official catchphrase and we shout it at each other all the time, even if it makes absolutely no sense.
Adel says
this is gonna sound weird and horrible, but my housemate/best friend and i looooooove to flip each other off. we think it’s hilarious. because. like… what? a singular finger raised up is offensive? we do it all the time, even in public. it’s the best and is never not funny.
we’re also fans of your mom, your face, your butt.
bahaha that’d look great out of context… O.o
Keri says
My turn, my turn, hey down here; pick me, pick me!
I love pickles too but can’t stand the skins so I eat the inside of my pickle like an ear of corn without eating the skin.
Bonus to this post was learning I can steam artichokes in the Microwave. Can’t wait. Love.
I have a serious problem with exclamation point over-usage!!!! I know I do it and try to go back and adjust texts and emails but the sentence intention just doesn’t work for me without all those fabulous EP’s!!!!!
When I’m driving long distances I pass the time calculating and recalculating my time left driving. So, for example, if I have 186 miles left and I’m driving 80 mph I spend the next few miles doing all the mental calculations to determine the time it will take me to go those 186 miles, then some short time further down the road, I do the process again at the new closer distance to my destination. It’s all done in my head which is completely opposite of how I do math when I’m not driving, at a time that I can’t seem to remember what 9+7 equal. /:)
I have two dogs, have never smelled their paws but now can’t wait to try it and am secretly hoping they have Frito Feet too!!! I talk the them all the time but especially my little girl Chloe (we had a full blown conversation before I went to work today). Her name is Chloe Isabelle but is also ChloeWorm, ChloeBear, Chloe Bean Bear, ChloeBelle, Belle, Bean Belle, Bean Bear, Bean, Chlo Chlo, Chloeinator, Worm, Wormy and The Queen and the list goes on. Yet, Zachary my little boy dog only has Zach, little baby boy and little man.
Every night before bed, I read Young House Love first, then Young House Life next, then Bower Power. It.Must.Be.In.That.Order. Any other order and I have fits!!!
And my favorite: I must give stories to random people. When I’m waiting for anything. If someone catches my eye, I create an entire very elaborate story about their life, why they are where I am, what their life is like, etc. I also encourage those meeting me to join in. Those poor strangers all have lives they never knew they had.
Alisha says
I TOTALLY HAVE AN EXCLAMATION POINT PROBLEM, TOO, Keri!!!! When I filled out my five randoms, I was thisclose to including said problem on my list. I also try to go back and fix my excessive EP tendencies and TOTALLY agree they were put there to convey a meaning and it just isn’t the same w/o them!
When posting comments I secretly worry Sherry & others are put off by the abundance of EP scattered throughout my comment and that they may not take me as seriously, but after reading, like, 3 of 14 pages of reader comments, I feel like there isn’t much room to judge (and this isn’t exactly the crowd that does much judging!!) =] love you guys!
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, I’m also a EP over-user! Not to worry!!!!!! Hahaha.
xo
s
Sarah M. says
OMG, this whole page of comments is making me do that stifled, sputtering laugh thing b/c I’m at work. Alisha, we are sisters from another mister (and our husbands are brothers from another mother), because everything you described is SO US!!! The talking to/for our pets, in voices that suit their moods, the nicknames that have devolved into complete insanity (seriously, boo-do, be-do, be-doh, the list goes on).. The stupid dances we dance and songs we sing. No one else knows how incredibly ridiculous we are behind closed doors, but if they did, we would be committed to a state hospital for life. Ahhh, I’m so happy to see that so many others are complete dufuses with their significant others too!
Michelle Crenshaw says
My fav new catchphrase is “I do what I want” also. I love to say about totally random things that have nothing to do with doing what I want. example:
(turns on light in living room)
Son: mom, why’d you do that? Turn it back off please.
Me: I do what I want!
recently while visiting my sister I said it so much my husband became very irate and banned me from saying for the rest of the weekend…..but you know what?
I do what I want!
Rebecca says
1. I eat a half a box of pasta almost every night. I know I could be a way skinnier gal (and probs way healthier) if I cut back, but I JUST. CAN’T. STOP.
2. I say corny shit all day long unintentionally and never even noticed until my fave coworkers told me they keep a list as I say them to clients or vendors on the phone. The list includes: “I need to get my ducks in a row,” “(blank) is not my cup of tea” and “geez, louise!”.
3. I love watching cyst-popping videos on youtube. They are cray cray, and I should un-friend the person who showed me the first one of these because they’ve caused me to waste way too many minutes of my life.
4. I have to wear any clothing item IMMEDIATELY after I buy it. Oh, and I tend to make terrible/rash decisions while doing said shopping. Bad combo.
5. I have a friend whom I “moo” at. I’ll just text her “moo” or say “moo” to her instead of “hi”.
BTW, I used to work for a record label and once had to actually help come up with a new band name for a group. So hard! Asshole band dudes shoot down all your pearls of wisdom!
Love these posts and the comments!
Renee says
OMG, Cyst popping videos are the BEST (nastiest?) THINGS EVER!
Wendy B. says
Seriously guys, I think you have book #3 here. I’ve been laughing all night and I’m only on page 3 of 14!!!
ok my random weirdness,
I love a good pedi but can’t stand to have my fingernails filed.
Can’t stand to touch paper grocery bags or cardboard boxes,especially if I scrape them, weird texture thing I guess.
I count when I’m on the treadmill or elliptical, don’t even realize I’m doing it till I’m in the hundreds.
My husband and I call each other Fred( as an endearment). I don’t remember why or how this started but once when phoning my husband a coworker(knowing my husbands name is Mike) thought I was cheating!I can only imagine what people think when he’s phoning me!
We also like to ramdomly say things, mostly from commercials. Like for months we walked around saying RANCH! (from the ‘most people have a sweet tooth, but I have a ranch tooth’ commercial)lately it’s been “LOOFAH! LOOFAH!”
I have to fight the urge REALLY HARD! to correct people when they use a double negative!
Also, for those people who put their pets into songs there’s a great blog http://kittiesandbullshit.com/
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahaha!
xo,
s
Linnae says
Ha ha, these are great! I definitely have my share of quirks.
1. I can’t stand my clothing to be twisted or pocket-lining to be showing. My kids pull their pocket lining up just to drive me crazy (they are 4 and 2–it starts young, I tell you!) And those shirts that are made twisted on purpose? {shudder} Let’s not even talk about that.
2. I have to have a sheet or blanket on me at night, no matter how hot (if it is hot, my feet have to stick out.)
3. Sometimes the “Christmas chicken” makes an appearance at our house, and we “bawk, bawk, bawk,” our way through the Christmas songs. Then again, sometimes the Christmas chicken sings to the radio as well, especially near the end of long road trips.
4. And one that transferred to me from my husband: the top sheet and the bedspread have to be even. The sheet must not ever come up taller than the blanket. We’ve been known to get up and remake the bed if the unthinkable happens.
5. Two of my favorite sayings from college: “I’m just going to grow a beard and dedicate the rest of my life to Scouting.” (maybe funnier because I grew up with 10 brothers and no sisters?) and “It’s all fun and games until someone gets an eye poked out. Then it’s just a game. (Find the eye.)
Kelly says
Lol! This post is awesome. Our daughter also continuously pees on Daddy…it’s amazing how she gets it to shoot up and out. My husbands favorite comeback is also “Your face!” I’ll say something like, “Your shirt stinks” and he’ll respond “Your face!” Ahh, good times.
Courtney says
My boyfriend got me stuck doing this (and John methinks you may like it) whenever we hang up the phone instead of saying “love you, bye” it’s “love you, bicycle.” And pretty much bicycle instead of bye to everyone else, too!
Stephanie Elise says
These comments are hilarious. I’ve always thought that we need our own reality show, but clearly we’re not the only ones!
1) My boyfriend likes to pretend he doesn’t know me when I walk into a room or get in the car. It usually goes something like this:
BF: Hey, you got a boyfriend.
ME: Yup.
BF: Oh man! Who is this guy?
ME: You silly.
BF: Oh! Good!
2) I frequently announce I am ready to leave the house by going, “Ready Freddy?” and his response is always, “And who the heck is Freddy?” This usually gets funny around people who don’t know us and those who do try and pretend that they don’t.
Alisha says
My sister and I have always done the “ready freddy?” exchange but for us it goes like:
Her: Ready Freddy?
Me: Let’s go, Joe.
and it DOES truly bother me whenever I ask some other Freddy if they be ready and they don’t reply correctly. example:
“Ready Freddy?”
“Yes.”
UGH. lol. I know. So silly.
Louise says
loved reading all of these! :0)
my fave quotes are “you’re not the boss of me!!!” in a shouty squeal, best used when someone is saying something helpful, like “Lou, don’t forget to lock up before you leave” (cos I often do) I am also a fan of I do what i like!
I also LOVE finding a folded crisp (chip?) and i’m chuffed-er-roo to find a see through one :-D
(i also have nick names for furry babies and cars)
maybe this is a case of birds of a feather, flocking together!
Louise says
oh, I just have to tell you this one… when I’m going out into the garden to do stuff like gathering up leaves, weeding etc I sing to my dog this little song (you need to know these two things, My dog is called Reggie and this is sung in the tune of the classic, Scooby-Doo lol)
Reggie Peggy poo, where are you? we’ve got some work to do now!
haha!! and he comes trotting up to me all alert looking as if to say OK Mum, lets do this! :)
Cheryl says
Just wait until Clara can join in on the catch phrase hilarity. My babies are 19 and 22 and at this point, it’s like our family has its own secret language that I’m sure is totally bizarre to anyone else. A particular favorite is to respond to routine information with “Ooooooo, spoil me!” as in “We’re having meatloaf for dinner” – “Ooooooo, spoil me!” delivered in a high pitched falsetto.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahahahahahah!
xo
s
abby says
sherry,
my sister and i always say “bethennyyy staaawwwppp (stop)” In Kelly’s voice from Real Housewives NY when they fought every episode.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahahahaha!
xo,
s
Jen says
I have been a counter FOREVER! It’s definitely OCD-associated. But I count in the number of letters in certain names. For example, our daughter’s name is “Brooke” and it has six letters. So I try to fit her name (six letters) into everything I count. And I have names for each number of letters. Brooke is 6 letters, Jeffrey is 7 letters, Jennifer is 9 letters, Elizabeth is 9 letters, Jacqueline is 10 letters. I see what name I can “fit” into whatever I’m counting and then I know how many things there are of whatever I’m counting. (If the name “Jeffrey” fits into those ceiling tiles then I know there are 7 of them?!?!?) Psycho? Absolutely. But I can’t stop and I figure in the great scheme of things, it’s MINOR and not bothering anyone else!
Here’s some info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arithmomania
Kate R says
I’m super late to the fun, but I couldn’t help sharing my husbands favorite retort: “yo butt”. He also likes to ask me questions that I perceive to be serious like, “hey, you know what we should try for dinner?” I then answer, “I don’t know, what?” and before I can finish he gets this crazy look on his face and says, “Mah butt!”
It doesn’t sound cute and endearing and funny, but it is to me, and I crack up every time.
Sarah M. says
Hahaha, I posted something so similar, even to the point of the example being about what we are having for dinner. My husband looooooves the “your butt” comeback!!
Joanne says
When we turn off the tv at night it makes a “biddle-boo” sound…and cues the pups to come out from where ever to go out for the last time. They get a milkbone afterwards. Now, when we call them we scream this nonsensical tv turn off noise! We sound cray :)
Ang says
These are hilarious! I always start walking with my left foot, especially when going down stairs. I think it’s leftover from marching band in high school.
Alexis says
1. I hate to vacuum the house when I’m alone. I have a fear of being snuck up on when I can’t hear.
2. The husband and I have nicknames for each other that we only use when writing notes. I call him Bear and he calls me Bug.
3. I quote Looney Tunes cartoons. And I think everyone should know where the quotes come from, but no one ever does.
4. I’ve got way too much useless pop culture knowledge crammed in my brain. To the point that no one plays trivia games with me because I always win. Gosh, that sounds conceited and I don’t mean it to be.
5. The husband and I name our animals after food. Specifically the food they would be if cooked (morbid and gross sounding, I know). The cat’s name is Mu Shu and our rabbit was named Fricassee. We just got a new kitten, any suggestions?
YoungHouseLove says
Chicken Tetrazzini!
xo
s
Kasey M. says
My Dad once named a stray cat (missing part of his upper lip) Mu Shu.
Jen says
I won’ t vacuum alone and I won’t go in the basement alone if no-one else is on the main floor. Love to quote Looney Toons.~ got my kids doing it. How about Kibble for the kitty name?
Lindsay says
I luuuurve me some Bethenney Frankel too. I love her sense of humour, I can relate to how she feels about situations she’s been through in her life and I just love how brutally honest she is. Hubby didn’t mind watching her on tv too, after awhile.
We call our dog Baxter often Toad. Charlie is affectionately known as Little love. But then again, they have a ton of nicknames so I guess for us that’s not that unusual.
Constance B. says
My husband was a musician I always told home to call his band SCROTUM POLE.. FREE BEER was also his old friend’s bands name …..it gets people to the show.
Katie says
My husband also has an automatic response for when I’m looking for something.
Me: “Have you seen my keys?”
Him: “I think I saw them up your butt.”
Me: “I can’t find my glasses..”
Him: “I think I saw them up your butt.”
If the children are around its,
Me: “Did you see Bunny anywhere?”
Him: “You know where I saw it.”
He’s such a 13-year old trapped in a 35-year old body. But it makes me laugh every time!
Sarah M. says
Mine too!! Totally fixated on the booty! Some of the stuff he says is seriously gross if you think about it literally, but his “your butt” is most people’s “Your face” :)
Gilit says
Warning: I am about to be creepier than I usually am when I comment on these posts
So I have this theory that we would all be besties and by “we” I mean all four of you guys and all four of us. And while I’m sure there are lots of other weirdos (no disrespect meant, we’re in the same boat) who have said this also, I’m right because we always say the same things (as do Clara and Aiden) and “your face” is totally my catchphrase.
My logic is impeccable.
YoungHouseLove says
Hahahah! It is.
xo
s
Becca says
We just had our baby earlier in November and have already given him 2 animal nicknames. He was born with a cleft lip and palate and does the cutest thing when he is hungry where he sticks his tongue out at you with his mouth open wide. He also likes to peck at you if you don’t get him food fast enough (ok it’s more like bobbing for apples on your chest, but it feels like pecking the way he head butts us sometimes). My husband lovingly calls him “baby bird” because of all that. He can’t breastfeed so we have to give him a special bottle which he kinda attacks by clamping down while moving his head back and forth sorta violently… sounds terrible but it is the funniest thing. So, I refer to that as him doing the “hungry hungry hippo” bc that’s what it reminds me of! But we also give people and even our dogs the qualities of other animals, so I’m sure these aren’t the only ones we will think of. :)
Alexis says
Bethenny is the best! I even saw her in her tour “a conversation with bethenny frankel” and it was rad. She’s the best! And I always tell my husband he comes from a place of no~!!!!
YoungHouseLove says
Hahah! I’m jealous you saw her tour! Sounds hilarious.
xo
s
Lani says
I would just like John to know that “your face” is totally my catch phrase. In fact…I thought I coined the phrase and until now have never heard of anyone using it except the people that I turned on to it. I am truly honored to share the “your face” connection…. (if we were in person, this is where I would insert “your face is honored….”)
LA says
I’m so glad to read that other people rarely call their pets by their actual names! My roommate named her cat Tiny Smalls. In the last two years this poor cat has been given the names Teenie, Tunis, Tiny Butt, Teensie Toots, Tiny Teenser, Tuna Baby, Tunie, and Teenie my Weanie (I tell my roommate that Tiny is offended by that last one). Her new kitten is named Baby Lump Lump. We call him Lumps, Baby, and Boo Boo… I can’t wait to see what names we come up with for this one!
Christina says
My boyfriend and I totally say “Penis” when there is complete silence around us. Yes we are adults, yes we are both close to 30. Yes, it’s completely immature.
Katie K says
My friends and I say “So’s your face” and “That’s what she said” a lot. So much so that we added it to my Apples to Apples game blank cards which makes the game even more hilarious when it comes up. I highly recommend it!
YoungHouseLove says
Hahaha, that’s awesome!
xo
s
Rebecca says
Speaking of naming bands, I think you mentioned that recently? My husband changes the lyrics to all songs, to be about himself! For example: “I love me, I wanna be with me” etc..! Says he wants to make a band called Narcissist! :)
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, hilarious!
xo
s
christine b says
I work with kids and they of course say the funniest things. Your “I do what I want comment’ made me think of one special student.You both share the same catch phrase but she also sometimes she likes to add on to her phrase with,”Go home to your cage and cry about it!”. It gets me every time.
[email protected] says
Great post & too funny! I’m glad you guys keep it real!
Randomness 1: I rarely drink an entire glass of liquid. I have to leave about 1 inch at the bottom because I’m afraid of floaties. Just because they’re not visible, doesn’t mean they are not there! Or maybe it does — I’m too scared to find out!
Randomness 2: My husband and I also use “your face” or “your mom” but recently have evolved to references to punching. For added impact to “your face” next time try “I’m gonna punch you in the face.” Or keep it simple with, “You’re gonna get punched.”. It sounds harsh, but it’s the sarcastic delivery that brings it home! There’s no need to buy boxing gloves, because actual punching is not allowed in our game.
Randomness 3: I weighed 12 lbs 12 oz when I was born. That’s the truth. I think I was supposed to have a twin, but I ate her. Ha! And, in case you are wondering … Yes, it was a c-section. Bless my mother!
Randomness 4: when I moved from my small hometown to the big city, I was so excited to finally have alternate shopping choices than Wal-Mart; yet, I still find (10 years later) that I visit Wal-Mart more than any other store for what I need. Damn those low prices!
Randomness 5: I usually plan my wardrobe not by what’s fashionable, but rather, what is the least likely apparel to cause me to fall on my face…and if I were to fall on my face…which outfit would cause the least amount of embarrassment. Needless to say, you won’t find me in sexy heels or cute skirts unless my day involves less than 50 yards of walking round-trip!
House and Lot says
I’m lost for words (re: Clara’s facial expression)! She is ABSOLUTELY adorably hilarious!
Becky says
I don’t really know what my “thing” is, but my husband names bands all.the.time. Last night at dinner he said something was a good band name and made me try to think of one. And the only thing I could think of was Smashing Pumpkins, so I said Smooshing Butternut Squash. Maybe being a weirdo is my thing? ha.
Wrenaria says
I totally say “your face” way more than I ought. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense. Also “that’s what she said,” when suitable.
In high school my best friend and I assigned fruits to all our friends (mostly the boys) so we could have full conversations without anyone knowing who we were talking about. Was great for discussing crushes.
I converse with my cats frequently. My boyfriend actually sings to them (songs he makes up on the spot). In fact, I know we’ve been away on a trip too long when he starts singing about them randomly while we’re NOT at home.
I also sometimes get fixated on where I step on sidewalks/concrete slabs/bricks/whatever. I don’t feel the need to avoid cracks and things, but I feel inclined to make patterns or “keep it even” between my feet. (IE: left foot crack, right no crack, left no crack, right crack…) I can’t help myself sometimes.
Kim says
My husband and I like to use the catch phrase “You don’t know me” in a total dramatic style as if in on Jerry Springer. For example:
Hubs: Did you just eat some of B’s(our toddler) goldfish crackers?
Me: You don’t know me. You don’t know my life.
We also have taken to doing a lot of your mom jokes lately.
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, I love “you don’t know me” too!
xo
s
Jocelyn says
I don’t share dairy products. Like, I’ll share my gallon of milk and pour you a glass and you can have that. But I will not share my glass of milk with you. I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years… he’s determined to break me. Not gonna happen. Also, naval oranges creep me out. I will not let them in the house and I avert my eyes when walking past them in the grocery store. I cry at everything. It’s just my knee-jerk (tear-jerker? no?) response whenever I’m overwhelmed with emotion – happy or sad alike. It’s so bad that by the middle of our cruise vacation, people we had never met before then knew when to watch to see tears come out of my face. It was funny. for them. My husband and I communicate almost completely in “Ermahgerd” when we are alone… and sometimes when we’re not. That’s only four things, but I’m stopping there because I’m all about easing people into my weird.
Jessica Willis says
After reading (almost) all of these, I had to jump on the bandwagon:
1. I eat all of my bleh food off my plate first, saving the best for last. My final bite must be the absolute yummiest.
2. I constantly “air-type” in my head. I’m always counting letters in words, then words sentences, and wanting the number to be even. If it’s not, I re-type it just to make sure I didn’t miss something. Weird.
3. I always keep the volume on my t.v. to an even number. If my hubby changes it to an odd number, I will literally get up and get the remote from him, and change it back.
4. I can’t smell. Haven’t been able to for about 10 years. I have several friends who always (not tongue-in-cheek, they just forget) ask me to smell things and then feel awful when they remember I can’t. It doesn’t make me feel bad. I actually love that I can’t smell my son’s poopy diapers! :)
5. I have to park on a certain side of the lot at Sonic. Some call it “the cool side.” All I know is that I have to be facing the street. Just like at a restaurant, my back can’t be to the door.
Yep, I’m weird.
Jen says
I lost my sense of smell about age 9. It came back in my 20′ s. Walked in the house & could smell my moms pasta sauce. I ran all over the house sniffing everything.
Sarah M. says
I do #1 too – hells yeah! Save the best bite for last :)
Cathy says
Late to the game on this, but I LOVE to make up band names. My favorite so far is the “band” my sibs and I will totally form someday. There are five of us, and we all narrate everything we do by song (it’s SUPERFUN to sit in a cube near us at work), and we usually change the lyrics to make them dirty. Our last name is Gorga, so our band name is the Multiple Gorgasms. :)
Elaine says
Oh gosh this is so much fun!
1) Biggest petpeeve ever…. Pens with lids…MUST have its lid ON! If you hand me a lid-less pen… I will put it down and search my purse (for as long as needed) to find a pin that either clicks and doesn’t need a lid or find one with a lid. TRUE Story: in grocery store with list and properly lidded pen…son ask to borrow to make a note. He gave back to me. They counted it took me 12 seconds to realize the pen had no lid. FREAKED out!
2) A commercial on TV on time looked like it was shot in a location we knew from our local zoo. Husband said “Is that the Phoenix Zoo?”, I said “Doubt it”, he said “maybe” and then I said “Yeah” (yeah as in confirmation) so now when we think we know the answer but are not sure we say “Doubt it, (pause) maybe, (pause), Yeah” – we cover all the bases with that one.
3)Protecting plants – I had a co-worker “molesting” my plant once and it really made me mad…thank God the plant lived and she doesn’t work in the same office anymore! Geez! Leave it alone.
4) My drinking cups that I bring to work everyday- matched the color shirt I was wearing for about a year and 1/2. If I had a pink top, I would grab a pink cup, etc. etc. Some noticed, some didn’t, so still check my cup once in awhile to see! LOL
5) I click my teeth sometimes in a repeating pattern to match whatever sound has got me entranced. It’s hard to stop once it’s started.
6) Please go check your pens… they need their tops on! :)
Jen says
My 10yo gets aggravated if I use a click pen & Don’ t click it shut when I’m done.
Jen says
1Sing in the shower~ Loud.
2. Talk to the recordings when I’ m on hold. ex. recording: We ‘re sorry but…. Me: I know you’ve told me that three times already, but I’ m folding laundry while I wait so,it’ s no problem really.
3.Feel special when I catch the time displaying mine or my spouses birthdate or our anniversary.
4. Lose my shoes in the house constantly because I subconsciously slip them off wherever my feet stop.
5. Have to serve pizza with cottage cheese and applesauce. Not sure where or why that started.
Rose says
I don’t count stairs, but I have this really annoying habit..I have to wash my body twice when I take a shower. I don’t feel clean unless I do.
Also, I randomly scream…like I have too much energy and have to let it out.
I, also (someone already commented on this earlier), smell my dog’s feet, which smell like stale crackers…I love it
My husband always talks for our pets, but he never uses the voices in My head, so they sound totally wrong to me :)
And last but not least we always make our kids do exercises at night before bed. We have like the only 4 & 6 year olds that can do pushups correctly and can do 100 box jumps in a row
Kristina says
Wow, so I wasn’t going to post a list, but I read some of the comments because of your superlative post, and now I’ve been inspired to do so.
1. Because of said “Friends” episode, my brother and I call our respective electronics by names (Stevie the TV, Scooter the computer, Splinter the Printer).
2. When I go shopping anywhere that has clothes (usually Old Navy or Target), I look to see if they have pajama pants on sale because I feel like I can never have enough.
3. Sometimes when I’m listening to music, I “play” the notes with my fingers on my right hand (I used to play organ and I played piano for like a minute, but the notes aren’t correct).
4. Even though I only listen to music on my computer, mp3 player, or in the car, I can’t seem to get rid of most of my CDs, especially my first CDs (Hanson’s first CD for example, Alanis, The Wallflowers).
5. I talk to other drivers that can’t hear me. And I can’t seem to separate work (teaching) from the rest of my life, so I usually say things like, “Hey, that’s not nice!” when people cut me off.
Thanks for the laughs!
Sarah M. says
OMG, this whole page of comments is making me do that stifled, sputtering laugh thing b/c I’m at work. Alisha, we are sisters from another mister (and our husbands are brothers from another mother), because everything you described is SO US!!! The talking to/for our pets, in voices that suit their moods, the nicknames that have devolved into complete insanity (seriously, boo-do, be-do, be-doh, the list goes on).. The stupid dances we dance and songs we sing. No one else knows how incredibly ridiculous we are behind closed doors, but if they did, we would be committed to a state hospital for life. Ahhh, I’m so happy to see that so many others are complete dufuses with their significant others too!
Sarah M. says
The dog feet smell!!!! Holy crap, I didn’t even think of this as a “thing,” but yeah – they totally smell like Fritos!! Our cat will even sneak over to our dog and sniff his feet. Too funny!!
Chrissy F. says
Whenever a particular friend and I go to a concert (we’ve been to several together), she asks if I have the tickets when we get to the venue (I am deemed the responsible one). And every.single.time, I respond with a shocked look on my face like I forgot them and start to pretend search for them. It’s like a tradition now. She just rolls her eyes at me and we laugh at how dorky I am. :)
KC says
I JUST discovered this blog and I have been laughing out loud at my desk at work for a good 15 minutes reading these comments. What a great way to brighten up my afternoon!
ps: my dog’s feet also smell like fritos
Joanie says
Okay – here is a crazy one. I have pet box elder bug at work, I named him bugsy. I am amazed that he is still alive since October of 2012 when he wandered inside.