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Five Random Bits

Since it’s Thursday afternoon and we’ve been known to veer off into random territory (like this, this, this, and this), I thought I’d toss another one on the barbie, er, blog. Below are things you probably never knew about me and John. Is it proof of our over-sharing tendencies? Yes. Evidence that we’re more than a little weird? Absolutely. But we just had so much fun with a Ten-Things-You-Didn’t-Know-About-Us post waaay back in 2009…

Didnt Know Burgrr

… that we thought it was high time we broke out this post three years later. So without further ado, some random bits:

1. I’ve always wanted to name a band. Not be in one or marry a rockstar. Just name one. All the time I say something weird and exclaim “that would make a great band name!” My favorite band name brain child: “What Ever Happened To Breckin Meyer?” (said out loud after seeing an old Road Trip trailer). Other favorites: “Exhibit A” and “Venn Diagram.” I know, I know. I’m certifiable. But it’s my idea of a good time. Also, I came up with “Pass The Mustard” last night and I’m kinda into it…

2. We assign babies to correlating animals. In a very very loving way. For example Clara’s a turtle. And a little bird. We see both of those animals in her all the time.We have about a million pictures that we glance at and say “Tuuurtle!” or “It’s The Bird!” She also has cousins who are a chipmunk, a bear, a monkey, and a puppy. Seriously, they all have assigned animals – at least in our heads. Here’s Clara’s “angry bird” face.

29Months Scream

3. I know she’s not everyone’s cup of tea (and I might be a little scared if she was), but I’m totally under (as in, in no way over) Bethenny Frankel. I’ve seen every episode of Housewives Of New York, Bethenny Getting Married, Bethenny Ever After and even read her book called A Place Of Yes (I thought hearing about things like almost getting on the regular Apprentice and ending up on the Martha Stewart one were fascinating because there’s lots of behind the scenes stuff). And this next part might be polarizing to admit, but once a few years ago after a particularly good old episode of Housewives of New York I turned to John and said “now I totally understand why people get tattoos of celebrities.” Yikes, right? I just adore her hilarious honesty about herself – and I know some people are over her now, but I’m still on the train. She’s just so quick to confirm that she went crazy or had a lapse of judgment instead of denying it. I think it’s refreshing and I try to use that as my inspiration when I’m feeling defensive. That’s right, Bethenny Frankel is my inspiration. Hey, whatever works, right?

4. Nearly almost every day of Clara’s first six months on this planet she peed on her dad while he changed her diaper. We heard that was only a boy thing, but as soon as the first diaper came off, she just let it flow. And she usually made the face below. Is that not a Dr Evil/Mini-Me face or what? Hilarious. Note: John did not find it as hilarious as I did.

Cloth Dipes 6

5. John’s favorite comeback (well, maybe second to “That’s What She Said”) is “Your Face.” No matter what someone says. For example, this dialog has actually transpired in our house – Sherry: “Oh man, did you leave that bag out in the car?” John: “Your face.” And for some reason I laugh every time. It’s his catch phrase. And I guess if pressed mine is “I do what I want!” spoken in a faux bratty tone. Even as a response to John asking if I’ll hand him the remote (which I then do and follow up with a pouty “here, but only because I wanted to”). Dorks for life.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me five random things, or at least one, about you. Do you put ketchup on your steak? Sing show-tunes in the shower? Count stairs whenever you’re on them (I totally do that in my head most of the time). Come on guys, let’s have some Thursday afternoon bonding, shall we?

Comments

  1. Kerry says

    I cannot walk by a microwave that has the wrong time. I HAVE to stop and fix it. Even if it’s at someone else’s place.

    Reply

  2. Ashley says

    I was laughing reading all of these and I have to say that I’m also a huge Bethenny she is awesome and who wouldn’t want an empire like hers!

    I also loved your catch phrase because I say that all the time but instead of in a bratty voice I say it in a ‘thug life’ voice haha. Bigger dork!

    We have a lot of light switches in our kitchen 6 that all control the same 3 lights and I obsessively make sure all the switches are the same way on all of them. My boyfriend now does the same thing we won’t leave the kitchen without making sure this is in order! Hahahah

    Reply

  3. Chantelle says

    Awesome, just love this! Where did that, “your face” thing come from? My sister has said that for years and I always look at like a crazy person but it seems there is another of her kind! Haha, so cool! I sing disco/funk to my pups Lenny and Carl at feeding time. It’s kind of a thing. If Superfreak happens to play on the radio, we go wild!

    Reply

  5. Jennifer Harrup says

    1. I love Bethenney too. Her and Ellen…I LOVE Ellen.
    2. I count stairs.
    3. The animal thing is not weird at all. We call my four month old a dinosaur because his baby babble sounds like dinosaur noises. Sometimes we even say “Phoneix, in English please, you know we don’t speak dinosaur”. Or if I’m feeling frisky I will talk back to him in my dinosaur voice.
    4. I meow. I don’t know how it started, but if I’m singing a song I start out singing the lyrics but somehow by the end of the song I am meowing instead. But not a realistic meow, I just say the word meow…because a realistic meow would be weird?? We don’t even have cats, we are dog people. It’s bizarre.
    5. Oh and have you seen that episode of How I Met your Mother where they make fun of Marshall for singing about whatever he’s doing…yah that’s me. And by the end of the song…you guessed it, I’m meowing.

    Reply

    • Jennifer Harrup says

      ALSO…because those weren’t weird enough. We have a little rescue Pomeranian and we don’t know his birthday so every 2-3 months we sing him happy birthday randomly…you know, just in case. But for some reason our happy birthday song is the theme song from Cheers “sometimes you wanna go…” Now whenever Cheers randomly comes on we scream “Charlie, it’s your birthday!!!”

    • Emily says

      OMG I meow too! Holy cow. We need to hang out and have an entire conversation of meows.

      Wait, is that weird?

  6. Molly says

    1. My sister & I (both married) always say “there’s your boyfriend” when we see a gross/funny/old/hairy/ugly guy. Even now that we live 1,000 miles away, we still sometimes will send a picture of the guy.

    2. As a kid, I refused to be potty trained. I was so stubborn that I changed my own diapers for a month.

    3. I always give animals nick names. My pups (Napoleon & Josephine) are Turd Ferguson & Grosie Josie.

    4. My catchphrase as a kid was “I do it myself.” My family still gives me crap about it.

    5. I take my kids to story time at the zoo, & my friend & I pretend that the sweet old ladies who volunteer, are there doing community service. We make up stories about what they did to get in trouble.

    Reply

  7. mp says

    My daughter adopted a blind pug in 2000, and he naturally had a tendency to bump into things and, if they were in any way unstable, turn them over. So we developed a saying to indicate that a particular item, such as a floor lamp, wasn’t a good idea with the phrase “His name be Chandler,” shortened to “his name be …” We also used it to describe not leaving foodstuffs anywhere in reach, as he jumped into a chair and wrestled a BOXED AND WRAPPED Ukrop’s coffee cake off the kitchen counter to the floor two days after moving in with us! (We’re convinced his sighted sister, Bindarra, assisted in this caper.)

    Reply

  8. Megan L says

    I too assign children animals. My nephew has been the white lab with the blue bandana from those flea commercials for 9 years now. My son, a hefty, gentle-giant Great Dane. My daughter, a little lamb. Most often dogs come to mind though. I assigned a ton of kids their animal while watching the most recent dog show. It made it a lot more fun!

    Reply

  9. mp says

    Also, my hubby was in a band, and let me just say that I’ve never met six more entitled and idiotic men. Every single one of them behaved like squirrels having a food fight. Also, each thought they were uniquely talented and unsung wonders, when in fact they were just middle-aged men fooling around and in no danger of needing to quit their day jobs.

    Reply

  10. Kim W Rily says

    When saying something silly that sounds like a band name, we always follow up with, “Aren’t they playing at Coachella next week?”

    Reply

  11. Lauren says

    I love your blog so much. These little tidbits are what makes it really special! Here are mine:
    1. We aren’t actually married. Everyone thinks we are. Especially when we were building our house. And especially people who read our blog.
    2. I have a little obsession with checking for loose eyelashes so that I can make wishes on them. I think this one could easily turn into some kind of disorder, it needs to stop.
    3. I get really bad road rage, but only when I’m alone in the car, so nobody knows my shame ;)
    4. When I was 14 my parents decided to sell our house and build a boat. We spent the next 3 years living in a shed while the catamaran was built by my Dad. I then lived on it with them for a year before moving out to go to uni. 7 years later they still live on the boat. Back when I was 14 I thought they were ruining my life.
    5. We have to be really careful what we post on our blog or my polish mother in law gets really paranoid about what her relatives in poland think…

    Reply

  12. Jac says

    Hee… here’s a quick 5 for you:

    1. My husband and I have trumpet solo-offs in the car. Like a walk-off. Without trumpets. Just bwips. He totally won last time by pulling out the ‘Baby Elephant Walk’ dammit.

    2. Similar to band naming, I often say ‘I want that on a t-shirt’. Although, my husband was in a band in his teens called ‘the plastic saints’ are you sure you didn’t name that one?

    3. My husband freaks me out by either impersonating Beetlejuice ‘honk honk’ or the Elephant Man ‘A kiiiiisssss? for meeeeee?’ or by bringing out the gummy snake. That’s a face like an old man without dentures trying to kiss you. I freak him out by talking like an air hostess with a permasmile and not blinking or by singing ‘Sometimes when we touch…’ in a creepy lispy slow voice

    4. I once got out of watching Braveheart AGAIN because when my husband said why don’t you want to watch it, and I said we’ve seen it a billion times…he said we hadn’t. I proved it by acting out the entire thing from start to finish like Monty Python. He chose another movie.

    5. I love bees and yesterday saw a BLUE BEE in the garden. Turns out it’s an Australian native, and is beautiful. 30 years and I’ve never seen one before. It was awesome.

    Reply

  13. Libby says

    I totally “your face” my hubs all the time! Now he doesn’t back to me. And we try to one up each other with that’s what she said.

    We have a three legged dog, with a nub where her left front leg was. The nub in Nubben, and our dog’s evil alter ego, whom we have pretend conversations with regularly. My husband calls our other dog Frubby, and comes up with international Frubby names like McFrubby, El Frubbo, the list is endless.

    Reply

  14. Heather says

    We always seem to start projects as it gets dark, I say this as we just attempted to put up a light fixture for at least the 4th time a little while ago. (Had to take it down again because now we realized we’re missing a piece.) We always end up needing a flashlight and then argue about having the light shine in our eyes and not on the project.

    Reply

  16. Jac says

    Oh…and that ‘Your Face’ thing reminded me of a favourite graffiti tag I see in Melbourne ‘Neck Face’. Love it. So descriptive. Could probably be a band name…

    Reply

  18. Casey says

    My husband has two very random sayings. Whenever anyone asks him if he wants any type of food or beverage he always responds with “I”m good. I’ve gotta drive.” Also, whenever people talk about deceased people he always says “Is he/she still dead?” Of course, he doesn’t do this until well after their passing as not to be disrespectful.

    I can’t stand for rain to touch my skin. Even if its 100 degrees outside, I won’t go out in the rain without something covering all my skin. Also, whenever I eat Oreos, all 3 columns have to be even when I am done. My husband loves to eat a bunch from one column but I won’t stop eating until all the columns are even. And no moving them around, that’s cheating.

    Reply

    • mp says

      All feet in my family wear slippers in the house. Result of getting an infection in a small cut on the bottom of my foot in 1986 as a result of walking barefoot in my mom’s kitchen.

  19. Nicole says

    My husband and I love our catch phrases as well. A favorite is “enjoy your spaghetti, you’re very rude.” Situation = irrelevant. Of course you have to say it with a new york/jerz accent. I think we got it from an old Dane Cook skit, although our bad memories probably morphed it into something a little bit different.

    My husband keeps trying to get “stick it in the fridge” to catch on… but after 6 years I think we can call it. fail!

    Reply

  20. Hollie says

    #1 – I enjoy making up songs that are all from the point of view of our cat. I have in mind what I think the cat would sound like if he were the one actually singing, so naturally I have to adopt those particular vocal inflections, etc. For anyone wondering, I think the cat sounds a bit like Rocky the Flying Squirrel from “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.”

    #2 – I am way more proud than I should be of the fact that I have ridden on more than one parade float in my life. I harbor fantasies about being the Pilgrim Lady atop the huge Tom Turkey in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Heck, everyone’s gotta have a goal in life, right?

    #3 – I listen to Christmas music all year round. My predilection for Perry Como is only socially acceptable this time of year.

    #4 – I have a “thing” about dirty feet. No one is permitted to put those feet up on any of my furniture, come to the dinner table with dirty feet or—shudder to think—climb in bed with dirty feet. Feet get washed as frequently as hands in my household as a consequence of walking around sans socks or slippers.

    #5 – I also have a “thing” about wet paper towels. Not talking about a damp Brawny towel one would use to wipe up a spill in the kitchen. I’m talking about those hideous brown paper towels in the dispenser inside any restroom in any public school. Wet brown paper towels just creep. me. out.

    Reply

  21. michele double you says

    Somehow, I feel like “oversherryng.” Bad pun, I know. Kind of like the joke “Two peanuts were walking together and one was a-salted.”

    Simlar but different to naming a band: I have wondered many times why I can’t be married to the guy who is the developer for a master planned community because I want to Name The Streets. (Yes, it deserves to be capitalized–it’s a title!) Not exactly sure why I figure the wife gets to name them, but it makes sense in my head.

    Also, I hide double-stuff Oreos in my garage. I have teenagers.

    We don’t really eat raisins. I think they’re gross. My 13 year old had a great description of them one day: “It’s like eating an old person.” I just about spit out my food.

    Stopping at 3. I figure the pun and joke could get me banned from commenting. ;)

    Reply

  23. Rachel A says

    I totally do the Your Mom thing. Which was fine until my husband’s mother passed away. The problem was, it was such an automatic response for me that I couldn’t get rid of it. So only a few days after the funeral, I accidentally let one slip.

    I don’t remember the exact sentence, but to use your bag example –

    Him: Did you leave the bag outside?
    Me: Your mom leaves the bag outside.
    (Pause. I slap my hand over my mouth after realizing what I just said. Silence.)
    Him: No, she’s in a jar.

    So, and this is where you’ll probably think we’re terrible, but now there’s an additional response the call and response. (No, she’s in a jar.) I think it actually in a weird way helped his grieving process? He has a very dark sense of humour.

    Reply

  26. Jess @ Little House. Big Heart. says

    Hmm…

    1. I secretly detest prime numbers. They’re just so, I don’t know, hard to work with? Unsocial? Standoffish?

    2. I have to have a glass of water by the bed every night. I usually don’t touch it, but I need to know it’s there or I can’t sleep.

    3. I crave symmetry. It’s probably not the best thing for the Little House’s design, but things just bother me when they’re not symmetrical.

    4. I can’t wink. It’s physically impossible. I just scrunch up my face and look momentarily constipated. I think it’s embarrassing, but Kevin finds it endearing. He’s a strange duck.

    5. Kevin’s usual comeback is: “Your aching @$$ sucks pond water.” What this means I have absolutely no idea, but it seems to be some sort of contradiction. A typical conversation might go thusly: JESS: I think that fabric is too busy for the living room. KEVIN: Your aching @$$ sucks pond water. It totally works.

    Reply

  27. annie says

    1. I am struck with inspiration and begin writing short stories constantly, but typically finish no more than the first two sentences.

    2. I like the way my ends of my hair smells after an afternoon outside.

    3. I love foods you eat with a spoon.

    4. OBSESSED WITH SINGING ABOUT MY DOG

    5. I heart polar bears.

    Reply

  28. Cheryl says

    My husband and I do this thing were we suggest the other do something that was just stated they were planning to do. For example:

    hubs: I’m going to take out the trash.
    me: How about taking out the trash.
    hubs: You know, I think I will take out the trash.
    me: I wish you would take out the trash.

    It never gets old.

    Reply

  29. Cait B says

    since you mentioned ketchup, I can’t watch my husband eat breakfast because he like to put ketchup on his ENTIRE plate (yuck!) It’s a strange upstate NY ritual

    as for one about me…I’m terrified of elevators and try to avoid them anytime I can

    Reply

  30. Cheryl says

    When I worked at a clothing store with 60 or so employees we spent an entire week figuring out what animal everyone was. To this day when I go in there theres one girl who still calls me squirrel. Also I put ketchup on eggs an mashed potatoes which people find weird (french fries are potatoes too! haha)

    Reply

  32. Nicole says

    Another funny thing: before my husband and I were dating and were just friends, we used to write emails to each other that were solely composed of haiku.

    Reply

  33. Lizzy says

    When I was a kid, I used to tell my big sister “you’re not the boss of me!”. I’m still saying it, much to my husband and kids’ dismay.

    I count stairs. I have for forty years. It’s an illness.

    Reply

  35. Meredith Jones says

    HAHAHA… I’m trying not to LOL at work right now… Clara peed on John for 6 months and made THAT face!? LOVE IT!! And both of your combacks crack me up too because my hubs and I do that all the time. My fave is “your mom!”, but I also frequent the “I do what I want” too. :)

    Reply

  36. mariel saunders says

    OMG! i’m a step counter! and in general, i just count my steps whenever i walk. if i’m on a sidewalk i count steps between lines and try to keep them the same, which usually results in me forgetting that i’m in public and looking like a freak when i start taking big steps so i don’t mess up the pattern.
    i also like for numbered things to end in 1, 3, 6 or 9. you know, like the volume or my alarm. who needs to wake up at 6:30 when 6:31 is so much cooler?!
    i love you guys and i’m SO bummed i wasn’t able to see y’all in houston!

    Reply

  37. Keri says

    Here’s a text conversation my husband and I had last night (We were on opposite ends of the house.):

    Me: Are you cooking shrimp?
    Cory: Past tense. Sorry about the smell.
    Me: Past tense? Would that be shramp? Or Shrump?
    Cory: Shrampedj with a silent J.

    Oh, and I’d like to add to the list of things you can yell at John: YOU CAN’T TRIPLE STAMP A DOUBLE STAMP! YOU CAN’T TRIPLE STAMP A DOUBLE STAMP!

    Reply

  38. Lori H says

    My family (4 of us) quote weird lines from movies – some of our favorites, Napoleon Dynamite (Jeezth and Give Me Your Tots!) and Princess Bride and Elf. I also correct grammar and spelling as I read a book (not in writing if I don’t own the book). One time I had to stop reading a book that was so poorly edited I thought I would lose my mind. That’s right, lose my mind, NOT loose my mind as so many people write. Gosh, I sound like a ton of fun, haha but I am! :)

    Reply

  39. annette says

    LOL too funny! I can think of 2 things about me right now…

    1. my boyfriend and i are constantly making up what our dogs are saying/thinking…we like to think we’re pretty hilarious

    andd (THIS IS WEIRD, NO JUDGING :P)

    2. whenever i get excited or happy for something i make a noise that kinda sounds like a baby teradactyl (sp?) lol #rajahajhajhaj

    Reply

  40. monica says

    3) I love Bethanny and her honesty and I love her wit. She has what I call Housewife arms that are ridiculously toned with no fat. How do they do it? I also envy her cleanliness and organization.

    5) One of my good friends, lets call her ‘B’, her and her husband ALWAYS say ‘Your face’ as a comeback for everything.
    ‘Do the dishes.’
    ‘Do the dishes-your face.’ …and so on.
    One time at work, we work at a hospital, B’s boss(Let’s call him ‘W’) was asking her to do something she didn’t want to do. The awkward conversation went like this
    Can you go see ‘[difficult patient] for me?’ -W
    ‘No!’ -B
    Come on! -W
    ‘Come on- your face!’ -B— except if you sound it out, it sounds totally inappropriate… and the entire nurses station heard. She was so used to the come back she just blurted it out without thinking! It took a while to explain that one away/live it down!

    cheers, m

    Reply

  41. Urban Wife says

    #bestcommentsever

    Everyone is so witty! I love reading all the fun nuances that make us each unique.

    1. I count stairs. And everything else. I love making statistics out of anything I can. #numbersnerdforlife
    2. When I put away groceries, all the labels have to be forward facing.
    3. I quote hilarious movie lines at the most inopportune moments.
    4. I, too, like giving people assigned animals. For example, my mom is a squirrel.

    Reply

  42. Maria says

    I wear a bra to bed every night and have since I started wearing bras when I was 12. Granted, they are sports bras, but none the less, I have to have the (tiny, A cup) girls under wraps. My husband is super annoyed, but he knew before marrying me. TMI, much?

    Reply

  43. Chrissie says

    “That’s what she said” and “So’s your face” are appropriate in every situation/conversation, and nothing anyone can say will change my mind.
    This post is hilarious, thanks for sharing! As for my quirks, one is that I am an obsessive list maker, yet half the time don’t actually get around to doing the things on these lists. I have a tendency to write them anywhere/everywhere and lose them. Must add “collate lists” to my list…

    Reply

  45. Colleen says

    1. I love getting a good buggier out of my sons nose. Having an excuse to use that blue bulb thing they send you home from the hospital with, was a good day. Husband still will bring him to me for “bugger removal” 17 months later.

    2. Love popping the pimples hubby gets occasionally, and getting his ingrown hairs out. Sick, right? But he lets me, so he’s just an enabler.

    3. With you on the Bethany frankle thing. Omg, want to be her best friend. Also want to be y’all’s best Texas friend but I think #’s 1& 2 will preclude that.

    4. I still maniacally laugh when anyone farts in the shower. It echo’s and its like the inner 12 year old comes out. Backfire: now my son laughs too.

    5. I cannot deal with any “crinkles” in my socks. If a particular pair offends more than once they get tossed or turned into sewing project (depending on their new-ness).

    Reply

  49. Stephanie N says

    My only “thing” I can think of is that I CONSTANTLY make up words or phrases out of peoples license plate letters/numbers. Seems like they end up being dirty a lot of the times too…:)

    I like Bethany too. Maybe not to the degree that you are in love with her though! I do admire her (what seems to be) honesty and frankness. It’s been kinda cool watching her relationship with Jason start and grow. I cried at the episode of her wedding.

    Reply

  50. Libby says

    My fictional band name: Distracted Apology. Just imagine a British lead singer yelling “We are Distracted Apology…and we are here to ROCK!”

    Reply

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