We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast for a quick patio progress report: the wallet-draining patio supplies (mentioned here) have arrived. And now we kind of get why they were so expensive. They’re bigger than our car, it took a giant truck to haul them, they weigh over 19,000 pounds (that’s not a typo or an estimation, it’s on our itemized delivery ticket) and they completely monopolize the carport. John’s out there working away today (T minus one week until Clara’s big par-tay) so I thought I’d slip in this sneak peek of the craziness that is the current patio project. More details soon.
But now back to the whole question of “Home Sweet Home?”
Anyway, the first few weeks of living in our house didn’t feel like it was our house. It didn’t necessarily feel like the previous owners’ house either. But it just didn’t really feel like ours. Call it House Limbo if you will.
Even after moving in every last box and setting up Clara’s crib and sleeping in our new bedroom for thirty-ish days in a row it still felt kind of like we were living here but not exactly “home.” Then we painted the master bedroom (the first room besides Clara’s that we tackled) and somehow something shifted and it felt a little more like ours.
Maybe it just took a few of those bigger “alterations” (like changing the wall color) to help it sink in that it’s really our house and we can do whatever we want to it.
I remember how novel that concept was back when we moved into our first house. The whole “wait there’s no landlord to tell me I can’t paint or hang curtain rods?” thing. It took a while for us to fully grasp the concept of home ownership. And it was surprising to have those feelings again with our second house. It wasn’t like we were expecting someone to come in and tell us we couldn’t switch out the light fixtures or knock out the wall between the kitchen and the future dining room, we just sort of felt like we were playing house. Courting the place but not married to it yet, you know? We were in that “seeing where the whole relationship would go” phase. Haha. But lying in bed at night after painting our bedroom we both talked for hours about how it finally started to feel like ours.
And that’s sort of a huge concept – the whole “this house feels like our home” thing. So something so large and hard to grasp must need to happen slowly in stages. Because we only recently reached another “deeper” level of the whole “it really does feel like home” journey. What triggered that feeling? The personalized frame gallery that we made in the hallway…
… and the fact that we finally had a real working dresser and an organized closet.
They both really were game changers, as lame as that sounds. I can’t believe we waited so long to add something personal to the walls (the hallway gallery took us over three months to start and over a month to finish). And to create an actual sock and underwear drawer for myself after months of living with crazy piles of clothing on the floor of the closet was definitely a huge relief. I guess we felt more like ourselves with the sentimental stuff hanging up and the unmentionables tucked away. Like we were getting back to ourselves and the real way that we like to live – as opposed to feeling like we were on vacation with nothing on the walls that was really ours (and piles of clothes on the floor “temporarily”).
And of course it always feels the most like our house when we have people over. Because they show up and it just feels cozy and full. Even if we just order pizza…
…or lounge in the living room.
We’re actually anticipating another level of the whole “this really is our house” feeling when we finally complete the patio. I guess just the idea of creating an outdoor zone that no one before us has ever hung out on feels especially unique and ours-ish. Here’s an up to the moment shot of John’s progress so far out there:
Have you guys noticed that it takes a while to really feel at home in a new house too? Or did you move right in and feel amazing and call it “home” right away? It’s funny because it didn’t not feel amazing to us. At all. We were floating. Every night for the first month we marveled at the house and were so happy that it was ours (in fact we still do that at least twice a week). But it’s just kind of weird how certain things have to take place to feel settled in a new space. What did it for you guys? Was it cooking your first big meal in your new kitchen? Or painting every last room and piece of trim for a totally fresh canvas? It’s weird how such mundane (or major) things can totally change how you feel about your four walls.
Psst- We announced this week’s giveaway winners. Click here to see if it’s you.
Psssttt- Have you heard that Mariah Carey named her son Morrocan after “an interior decoratoring theme of a floor of their apartment”? Do you have any feelings about that? And furthermore, should we name our next baby Quatrefoil after our favorite mirror shape? Quatrefoil Petersik does have a nice ring to it…
Beth says
I just moved into my house of dreams after waiting months for the bank to accept it, but was having a disgruntled evening because nothing feels settled yet and I can’t decide which project to tackle first. Your post helped me relax and just enjoy a few hours on my couch in my great house, without worrying about the paint swatches on the walls or the faucet that leaks. I’ll find ways to make it mine…and unlike my old apartment, I get to take all the time I need to fix things! Thank you for helping me feel more at peace with all the changes.
Cindy says
We felt home from the first time we came to look at this house. I still marvel that it’s ours. It’s truly a unique and marvelous piece of property that makes me smile every day. We have a lot of work ahead of us to bring this place back to lie but even living in what is mostly the previous owner’s decisions doesn’t make it any less ours because we love it.
Tarnya Cook says
Seriously Moroccan?? it doesn’t even sound like a name!!although still bad, Morocco at least sounds more like a name. gee whiz. if I was to have another baby (but I’m not no breaking news here) and it was a girl I’d name her Emmeline Clara, so obviously Sherry you know I’m on the Clara bandwagon… xxx
Elizabeth says
I have a little framed sketch that was a present when I first joined the Foreign Service that says “Home is where the State Department sends you.” And while that’s sort of true, for me it’s not home until my glider rocker is unpacked. I never thought I’d invest so much meaning in a (somewhat tacky looking) chair, but it’s been a constant in every home (Florida, Hong Kong, D.C, and New Delhi) since my son was born so as long as we can sit and glide and read among the other moving chaos, we’re home.
Kate says
I read your blog just about every day, and find inspiration. I just thought you should know.
In response to this specific post, I am a military wife (AF). We move every 4 years in our airframe, and it takes about a year to feel at home in each of our homes. I really enjoy settling in, and making things work in each home. Our whole house has to be “mix and match”. The same furniture will work in multiple rooms, and our palette is just about the same throughout so that we can play around with placement. We make up the difference by putting framed photos in each room. One is a “memory” room with a collage frame for each base we’ve experienced. It is usually our dining room because it provides great conversation opportunities.
Anyhow, just a perspective from the military lifestyle that others may not provide :).
Sincerely,
Kate
Stacy says
We have been in our home for a year and half now and it was only after returning from a recent trip to visit my family that I came home and thought (and felt) “Ahhhh I am HOME!” We have been doing a lot of work on the place and it was good to be back to MY place…renos and all!
Morgan G says
Ay ay ay. Those gigiantic bags of rock are the worst. We unloaded (read:shoveled) three cubic yard-size bags of 3/4″ pebble not too long ago. My arms ache looking at those.
Ann says
After almost 3 years of being in our house, it still doesn’t feel like home. Maybe it’s because we moved so many times before this. Another person mentioned and I have to agree maybe it’s because there’s still evidence of the previous owners in the house. I want it to feel like home, but there’s so much work to be done and “my home” would be finished. lol
Michelle says
I remember that “playing house” feeling! The first night we spent in our house, my husband jokingly did a handstand in the kitchen and said, “Look what I’m doing in someone else’s house!”
Laura Bellamy says
We have a large house with two stories. We only used one story for the first 6 years with all the children in one room. Funny, huh? I was afraid to do anything! Well,bumps and dings gave me permission to do things, and so do inspiring blogs.
As to baby names, my husband has delivered 3 of my children and about eight hundred others. His motto on baby naming is “Don’t name your baby anything that screams ‘I’m ignorant.'” I love it. Another is to avoid gender confusion. My father, who is 87, goes by the name Buddy because his given name was Francis. Aack.
Jeni says
I currently live in a tiny apartment in New York, but just bought my first home in Maryland, a big, three-bedroom, 1928 house. I’m slowly moving down on the weekends, and I must say, when I walk in the front door I just want to turn around and run! It’s a great house, but it smells a little funky, there are gross colors on the walls, and horrible wallpaper in way too many places. It seems like there is a ton of work to do just to get the shell of the house into a tolerable state, let alone thinking of what I will put in it (I have NO furniture!). Not to mention the yard I don’t know what to do with. And holy crap, there is a whole room in the basement filled with machinery I’ve never had to think about before. I am clearly still in the very early stages of home ownership where I am overwhelmed and freaked out. Everything takes way more time and money than I have and it seems like it will never be ‘home.’
But then I stop thinking about the millions of little projects and contemplate pretty wall colors, fun furniture and really putting my stamp on the place. I’m going full-time with my antiques and vintage business, so I have endless hours of shopping ahead of me! I will make this house a home if it kills me!
Amy G says
We bought this house from someone we knew 5 years ago. My two boys were 23 and 5 months old. I did not even think about changing any decor until just recently. Luckily for us, the past owner did not like color on the walls so the entire house was Benjamin Moore’s Colonial White. (She told us “just in case we needed to touch up” while glancing at our boys.) It has been a strange journey for me to thinking the house was mine, not something I was renting from them. Now that the boys are older and I have time to think, I have been making decisions on decor and colors. Now we just need more time to slap on the paint and the moolah to buy it. Maybe in another 5 years I will think it is finally mine.
Jillian says
Our house has felt like home almost from the beginning – I think because the same week we moved in we adopted a rescue dog and suddenly we forgot about the house and just started living in it.
However, we are super big failures when it comes to putting stuff on the walls… we only have a few pieces up, and they are just on nails that the old owners had left in the walls! But I came clean on my blog about this last week, and the goal is to have at least 50% of our art up by the end of this year. Fingers crossed!
Sayre says
I started feeling at home after I learned the light. I’d painted the house in colors that worked in the last dark house, but they didn’t really work here. So I spent some time looking at the light in the house and figuring out what WOULD work. The color I chose for teh family room/kitchen was startling to people, but it works. It’s a very bright green called Lemon Mint from Lowes. Startling but it really opens up the room and makes it feel cool and comfortable. Can’t wait to get rid of the rest of the carpet.
Claire says
My husband and I both agree that smells have a lot to do with whether a house feels like home or not. Smells trigger memories, and if the smells aren’t ones you’re accustomed to, then that “home sweet home” feeling just ain’t there. Whenever we have moved, we have made sure to clean up existing smells with a thorough scouring of the new place (using cleaners that we would typically use) plus a fresh coat of paint. Then, since I bake all of our bread, I make sure to pop a few loaves in the oven as soon as I get a chance (cookies do the trick here too). Fresh flowers on the dining table don’t hurt either. :-)
erica says
We inherited our house from my aunt (technically my parents own it) and it’s taken us just over two years for it to feel like ours. All of my aunt’s furniture was nicer than ours so we’re using her furniture but we’ve just recently felt comfortable enough to take some of her amazing travel photos off the walls. I think when it felt like ours was when we stripped the wallpaper in the bathroom and painted the walls a wonderful sky blue.
It doesn’t help that a lot of our family in the area still calls the house “Nan’s house.” It’s been in our family since the 1930s when my great-grandparents built it so there is a strong family connection to the house and I want it to all feel just right for us.
Randi says
I love the shot of everyone eating at the table not looking at you but then if you look a little closer there is Clara! Smiling at the camera! She is SO cute!
Kate says
Two weeks ago I found your blog by procrastination from exam studying. I’ve probably clicked the lovely little book mark link a ton since then, and when I woke up this morning thought, “Really? The weekend? The week with Petersiks is over already? Crap.” Thank you for sharing this, all of it. It makes me smile daily.
My house still doesn’t feel that homey after 6 years in it so I’m hoping a little of your creativity might rub off through the blog and we can make it live up to its happy family space it can be.
YoungHouseLove says
That whole weekend thing might have been the sweetest thing ever said to us. Wow.
xoxo,
s
Ag says
We’re on our third house. We’ve been here almost two years and it’s feeling more and more like home every day. Baby steps for us as far as the home projects go, but with every one that gets done, I’m more in love with my house. Of the three homes we’ve bought, this one is my fave. It’s about half sized from our previous “dream home” and I’ve got to say, THIS house feels so much more “manageable” and “right” and therefore more like home.
As for the names, I think she still has some weird eminem fixation going on – hence the M & M baby names! Although I do like what one person posted above: Roc & Roe ~ very cute.
Polka says
never owned any apartment/house so have no idea have it feels, but I hope I will have a chance to find out one day :)
Cannot wait to see the patio when it’s done
best wishes
Polka
Kim says
For me, it was finally getting rugs. The hardwoods were not in good shape (pulled up existing rugs and – ughh!) and just felt not cozy without rugs. (But after 8 years I really really really want NICE hardwoods.) I did have that same feeling too – Wow! We can paint the walls and pull up rugs and whatever! it’s a really cool feeling to really feel like it’s home!
Emily says
We are coming up on 4 years in our home. As soon as we closed on the house and got the keys, we picked up lunch and a drum of ultra-primer. The home’s previous family painted each room a different, jarringly bright, color. We couldn’t spend any significant amount of time in it until we rid the house of the technicolor paint. Over the month’s that followed we made a lot of changes and tried to choose everything together (even though I’m an interior designer I felt it was important to make the space equally ours). A year and a half later it was truly “home, sweet home” when our son was born :)
Kate S. says
We felt very out of our element for the first 6-8 months in our new home. Like you guys, it’s our second home together and we are experienced home owners and DIY-enthusiasts, but it took quite a while and a lot of personalization to make it feel like “our home.” At first I would wander around the house thinking of all the things I wanted to change and feeling as though we had to do them soon because I didn’t want to stay here forever–I wanted to be able to sell it ASAP. Now, I still go around dreaming of improvements and changes, but for a different reason–I want to stay here a long time.
Jen says
I follow younghouselove religiously! In fact we are working on our bathrooms and have followed in some of your footsteps! Keep up the great posts, it’s so fun to watch the progress. I’ve just started up a blog, you can check me out at http://www.laundrywillwait.blogspot.com/
~Jen
Kristen says
I bought my first house at the start of the year, and it took a couple of months to start to feel like home…piece by piece it’s come together, but there still is a long way to go! The day I closed, I went over to the house because I felt like I had to, even though there was nothing in it, ha! I wandered around and then just sat on the floor and was like…wow…what have I done!?!??! But it was such a great feeling to know it was mine. The project I’m in the middle of right now? Stripes in my half bathroom! I referred to your stripe post for hints!
Julie K. says
I have to say it took us 7 years to finally feel like we were home. We purchased our house from friends and had always made it our goal to get out of it from day one. The school systems are not the best and that was our number one priority for our 2 children. Just this year after looking around for houses and realizing what still needed to be done to ours in order to sell it I said enough is enough. There is nothing wrong with our house lets finally embrace it as our own and do the things we want to do. So…a few weeks ago we tore our our sunroom, kitchen and half bath and are currently remodeling them all. I think after this we will finally feel like it is ours and be able to relax and enjoy!
Kathy says
Sherry and John,
Because I know you’re frugal shoppers like me, do you have any suggestions where I can look for a 7 ft round rug to go under my dining table? I’ve just started looking but any help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks,
Kathy
YoungHouseLove says
Overstock.com has some great ones I think! Maybe also try rugs.com and homedecorators.com? Good luck!
xo,
s
kristin says
9,000 pounds= 1 elephant
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, I love it!
xo,
s
Ashley Bird says
My house is in the stage yours is right now! My soon-to-be husband lived here for almost 6 years without painting one wall or cleaning behind any appliances! :) I have my work cut out for me but he’s worth it!
Erin says
Still waiting to feel that home sweet home feeling with our new house. We moved 1 1/2 yrs ago and until now other things have been more important. Finally, we’ve talked to a contractor about remodeling our kitchen and this week a painting crew came over- within 2 days they had completely stripped the early 90s wallpaper that was in all but 2 rooms, and paint and flooring for every room will come next. I kept thinking we could tackle all these projects ourselves but with 3 kids under 3 I finally had to admit to myself that working a few hours each weekend we wouldn’t get done until approximately 2023. Calling in the pros was not what I imagined, but at this point in our lives, it’s going to make our house a home a lot faster! :) Even without paint, just seeing the rooms bare of wallpaper makes me soooo much happier that we bought this house. I had serious buyer’s remorse every time I saw the gold pears in my bathroom. Yes, what the heck were they thinking!?
lcg says
Building up memories makes a house a home for me. Working in it/on it, having people over, holidays, laughter. Going through the seasons is a big deal. Also, throwing up in it….a house never felt like home until I’d been sick :))
Kimberly says
Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you for sharing your birth story, by the way.
Way to go on the patio! I really admire yours and John’s stick-to-it-ness!!!
Oh, and I always hope for celebrity kids that their parents stay wealthy. That’s the only way they’re not going to be teased mercilessly. Come on, Morrocan? That’s totally gonna be something like ‘Moron Can’ or, like egt729 pointed out ‘My Rockin’ Cannon.’ Not good, not good.
Beth says
If you did go with Quatrefoil, “Q” is a heckuva nickname :)
For us it was drapes and lamps. LAMPS! Who knew? But the new house had high ceilings that the old house did not, and the recessed can lights were so faaaar away. Table lamps brought things down to human level for the first time. Every time I add a new one, I want to hug my house. It helps her feel friendly instead of standoffish.
DeeJay Conley says
Quatrefoil no no, Quatrefoil no.
jmho
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, we were just joking!
xo,
s
Rebecca Foxworth says
Moroccan and Monroe? Um, okay. Whatevs. Still…pretty sure “Chinese Restaurant Bas Relief” and “Rosa Parks” are glad we didn’t name them after decor that had special meaning for us (the proposal) or someone I’ve always admired.
Deb says
I lived in 21 houses up to when I was 23. I always felt at home as soon as I set up my bookcase and read a favourite book. Then I lived in my last place for 6 years and seem to have lost that instant ‘home’ knack since we’ve been in our current place for 8 months and I’m not quite there yet.
Micha says
We bought our lil’ old house in January this year and kicked off major renovations the day after closing. Almost 2 months into painting and remodeling stuff the realization hit me that this was “our” house and we could do things without having to ask anybody. What a moment! I even called the husband at work to tell him of my amazing discovery :o)
Finally, a week ago, we officially moved in and slept here for the first night ever. Waking up the first morning was heaven: sun streaming through the windows and the quiet outside only disturbed by the chirping of birds while living right smackdab in the middle of the city. Our house has been “Home” since then.
Josie says
Growing up my family completely gutted an old Victorian house, so I know what you mean. actually for the year we did it all 6 of us lived in a one bedroom apartment (yes, you read that right!) and spent every spare minute at the house scraping wallpaper, sanding and refinishing floors, lots of painting (I was always the one sent with my mother to pick out paint colors so the entire house didn’t turn out brown).
anyhow, even after all that was finally done it still took a long time before it felt like “home”
your house is already so gorgeous, I love watching you guys work on it!
eileen marie says
Happy (1st) Mother’s Day, Sherry!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks so much Eileen! So sad it’s almost over :(
xo,
s
Jamie says
I bought my first house at the end of June last year. I, too, decorated my then 3 year olds room and mine first. I had hand me down living room furniture so I never painted the living/dining room/hallways until I purchased something early this year. Then i reno-ed the bathroom. Now it feels like home, feels like me! I have a huge list of projects I still want to do, and a ton of down-the-road-when-i-inherete-millions (yeah right) projects. Like painting the outside, adding sliding doors in the kitchen, widening the driveway, and adding an outdoor patio. UGH! At least I have forever to do it all!
Handy Man, Crafty Woman says
Morrocan – WORST baby name ever!! I saw the MTV Cribs episode with her NYC apartment. Saw the Morrocan themed room, it was way over the top! but so is she! She also had the largest closet ever (bigger than most apartments, not even in NYC!), and changed clothes & shoes for nearly every room, it was ridiculous!
Handy Man, Crafty Woman says
oh and I meant to answer the question: it always takes a little while for us to feel settled. for me, it’s usually after all the boxes are unpacked and things are (mostlyl) organized, which I try to do quickly. Finishing a few projects and painting some rooms in colors we like always helps, too.
Kel says
Sue the napkin is what you should name your second child.
Melissa says
First off, I would like to say I love your blog!!
I live in Melbourne, Australia and have lived in our current home for almost two years. Even though our house was new, it felt like a cold, empty box for so long, and I’ll explain why. When we built we excluded all painting (hubby is a painter, seemed common sense!) flooring and obviously window coverings.
What we got at handover was a dusty, messy, shell of a house.
We literally camped in the house with a 5yr old, 3yr old and 4 month old while my husband painted it after work. I have photos of our living area with a moving box as a tv cabinet, a tiny portable tv on top and two camping chairs. Oh and the fridge lived in the centre of the room so it wasn’t in the way!
All of our furniture except the beds lived in the garage while we painted.
We have ‘lived’ in the rumpus room, living area, sitting room, meals area and finally our own bedrooms. And wasn’t it great to finally have everyone separated in their own rooms again!
We then lived for 6 months or so without flooring at all, just cold, dusty, hard concrete. Then we got tiles!
We had been in the house just over a year when we got carpet, and let me tell you carpet never felt so soft.
Today, almost two years since moving in we have just last week got a proper concrete driveway. baby steps.
I would say my moment of feeling finally ‘at home’ came when the carpet was installed. It was warm, you could sit on the floor and my furniture could find its proper home at last.
I have used many ideas from your blog to personalise the house and some areas are pretty much finished. Other rooms are still sparse, but hey when you come from a 12 square to a 34 square house there is extra furniture required!
ashlee says
hi sherry!
…i’m still in window painting mode. haha. question. is there a product you can buy to put OVER your paint that will lessen the chance of cat claws scratching up your freshly painted window sills? ugh! sooooo annoying!
YoungHouseLove says
Hmm, maybe for just the top of the sill (where cat claws can reach) you could go with a few thin and even coats of water-based polycrilic. Minwax makes one in a blue can that I love (some can leave a yellow tint though, so I’d recommend that exact one). Good luck!
xo,
s
ashlee says
don’t get me wrong..i love my cats…but…UGH! haha.
Shannon says
Hey! My duaghter turns 1 on the 19th, but the 14th was her due date:)
I’m sure this is somewhere on the blog, but what is the color you used in your bedroom?
YoungHouseLove says
That’s too funny because the 19th was Clara’s due date but she was born on the 14th! As for the bedroom color, it’s Carolina Inn Club Aqua by Valspar (color matched to Olympic’s no-VOC paint).
xo,
s
Amanda- Hip House Girl says
I’m Ron Burgundy? Hahaha. For me, it was when I hung up blinds. Before, I’d had these wispy Ikea curtains which looked fine but did nothing for privacy. When I finally hung up blinds, I said “It looks like someone lives here!” Maybe it’s the ability to really hole away and hide in your house with no one able to look in at you? I know, what a novel concept. :)
Abby says
We closed on our house almost 2 weeks ago and have only been sleeping there for 5 nights. Even though we love it and can’t believe it’s ours, we definitely are in house limbo! We’ve got paint on most the walls, which does help, but the boxes are out.of.control. I have no idea when it will sink in :) Probably when we least expect it.
Mizden says
Hey Guys!….it’s weird I was just thinking about this, I mean, about asking you how you feel about your house (I still have some old post pending and I haven’t seen all the new goodies until today)..
My original post going to say: Hey guys!….do you think you can call your new house, your home, do you think you can sing this song to Barbie already? ( song is This is Home by switchfoot)..really the song is more about the place not literally a house…but hey still works for the purpose right? haha
Loving the new pavement patio!..you guys really enjoy being diy’s and John, if it worth, muscular arms are outdated! haha ;)
ps: I liked Thor, you should go and see it! :D
Brit P says
please tell me about the cute baskets in your closet…. where did you get them? did they come in other sizes? may i puh-leeeeze copy you on this one? i have been searching for the perfect baskets for organizing in the linen closet & i think those are them :)
YoungHouseLove says
They were from Linens N Things a while back but maybe try lnt.com or a place like Bed Bath & Beyond or Ikea? They seem to have tons of baskets in multiple sizes. Oh and stores like Michael’s have a ton too. Good luck!
xo,
s