Young House Love

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Love & A Few Tears

Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.

Dan Me

I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.

I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.

Me Adam

But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.

My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?

Pool Pic

My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,”  my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.

It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.

Karate Pic

My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.

Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.

Table Shot

We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.

Comments

  1. Gwen says

    What a beautiful post honoring your lovely Aunt. My mother, Kay, passed away almost 8 years ago from complications associated with MS. She battled for 23 years with the disease and while we all know she is resting pain free it’s always sad to see someone we love go. My daughter (who was 3 at the time) made sure everyone knew “Grandma doesn’t need her wheels anymore she has wings now”. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

    Reply

  4. Lauren says

    Sherry – I am so sorry for your loss but your post was definitely a beautiful tribute to your aunt and all the joy she brought to your life. I agree MS is craptastic – my father in law passed away from MS 5 years ago. Though it took him from us, it was amazing how something like a disease can actually make you wake up and realize what is truly important in life – family and love and not much else. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply

  5. yakmom says

    Awww…well, poop. You made me cry. LOL! I read your blog every day and it always makes me smile and even through the tears today I found something to smile about in your post. My Mom has been battling the craptastic disease of MS for the last 30 years. YES…I said 30 years! I am only writing about her because so many of your readers have posted today about someone they know with MS and I hope to give them a little hope. I was 5 when she was diagnosed and we have been living with a little bit of fear every day since then. She made it to watch me grow up, to get married and now have three kids. While, she is indeed growing weaker and has had periods of hospitalization and using wheelchairs and walkers, she is still living independantly, WALKING on her own, and babysitting our kids.

    Thinking of you and your family today…

    Reply

  6. Zoë says

    Sherry, I’m so very sorry for your loss. While this is a very sad time for you, I hope someday it will be easier for you and your family to celebrate the hundreds of days you had with Aunt Kay Kay, rather than mourn the one day you lost her. xxx

    Reply

  9. Katie says

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your family. I too come from a divorced family, it was a very tough chaotic childhood. Your family, although “non-traditional” sounds like it was a wonderful place to be. And your aunt raising a happy family while living with MS must have been such a challenge. Your aunt sounds like a strong wonderful person. Inspiring.

    Reply

  10. Mamaw says

    I’m so sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful tribute to your Aunt Kay. She will always be with you. Know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Reply

  11. DanielleR says

    Beautiful post Sherry, may your Aunt rest peacefully. I’m very sorry for your loss, but so glad you can enjoy all the beautiful moments you had with her in your life.

    Reply

  12. Stephanie says

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. She sounds like a wonderful woman and how great that you basically had a second mom growing up. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply

  13. Vanessa says

    Sending much love to you and your family, Sherry. Your post was a beautiful tribute to your aunt. Thank you for sharing that with all of us. {{{hugs}}}

    Reply

  14. Jeanna Walton says

    What a loving tribute to your Aunt Kay Kay, and to your extended family. You were blessed to have them in your life, as they were to have you! And your Aunt, I’ll bet she’s dancing :) Take care.

    Reply

  15. Tracey says

    Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Unconventional families are more common than you think. The love and closeness you had with your aunt is something to be treasured. No doubt you’ll find a great, unique way to remember her by and share it with Clara. Thinking of you and saying a prayer for you and your family during this difficult time.

    What a kind tribute of your aunt. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of someone who truly helped shape who you are today.

    Reply

  16. Jennifer Laferrière says

    Thank you for sharing this – I know what it’s like to have a non-traditional family and growing up living with Cousins that I just about consider my brother and sister. Everytime I try to explain it’s hard for people to follow, but I always saw it as more love, more support, more fun. My condolences to you and your family, your aunt sounds like the type of women who never gave up and loved life. Your non-traditional family is part of her legacy and you speaking so fondly of your upbrigning would certainly have made her proud. My condolences to you and your family. All the best. Jen

    Reply

  17. Ashley says

    I’m terribly sorry for your loss, $herdog. What a cool family to grow up with. Seeing pictures of you when you were younger makes it so obvious that Clara is your mini-me…without a doubt!

    Reply

  19. Sheila says

    I’m so very sorry about the loss of your Aunt Kay-Kay. It brought tears to my eyes at your description of the progression of her MS and her beautiful face reminded me so much of my own dear mom. My mom was also a young woman with 2 small children who dealt with a progressive case of MS…no remissions…just a slow downhill physical march. Much like your Aunt Kay-Kay, she was funny, loving, hardworking and did everything to keep herself healthy and mobile.

    I choose to believe mom and Kay-Kay are enjoying their health and mobility in heaven. We were lucky to learn compassion and a never-give-up attitude from these wonderful women.

    Happy memories to you Sherry!

    Reply

  20. Tina says

    aww i’m so sorry to hear this, i know i don’t even know you but i would give you a giant hug right now if i could. it sounds like she was an amazing woman and great role model and it sounds like you are a lot like her. Clara is a lucky girl to have you as a mommy and to have known your amazing aunt.
    (((big hugs)))
    -Tina

    Reply

  25. Caroline says

    Sherry, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wonderful aunt. It sounds like you had an incredible childhood with her.

    Reply

  26. Carli says

    SO sorry to hear about your loss. I just lot my grandfather, whom I was very close to, about two weeks ago. It’s so difficult. And yet, so important that we choose to celebrate them through the tears. They all leave wonderful imprints on our lives, and that always deserves celebration. I hope you have lots of time with family over the next few days, reminiscing and smiling about what a wonderful woman your aunt was. Sending virtual hugs.

    Reply

  27. Melanie says

    What a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult time.

    Reply

  29. Erin Lindsey says

    Oh Sherry, I wish I could give you a big, giant hug! I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face both from sadness for your loss and joy that you were blessed with such an amazing woman.

    It’s funny, I have never been “sad” that my parents were divorced. I always considered myself lucky. My parents split up when I was three (and my mom was 8mos. pregnant with my brother). Instead of being sad, I was lucky. I got to have a mom, 2 dads, and a bunch of extra siblings.

    Families come in all shapes and sizes and I’m thankful you had Aunt Kay Kay in yours.

    Reply

  32. Katherine says

    Do you realize how much you resemble her? I am sure she will be missed in a million ways. My condolences.

    Reply

    • YoungHouseLove says

      We always joke that mom’s lineage is strong in “face similarity” (she looks nearly identical to two of her five sisters and everyone says I look like her, which means I look like my aunts too). I hope Clara keeps the tradition and looks like my mom and aunts!

      xo,
      s

  33. liz says

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. What a beautiful and moving tribute to her. Wishing you and your family peace.

    Reply

  35. Jill Stigs says

    So sorry for your loss…..{{{HUGS}}} when my mom passed this poem came up so I thought I would share it with you now.

    The Broken Chain
    We little knew that morning that
    God was going to call your name.
    In life we loved you dearly.
    In death we do the same.

    It broke our hearts to lose you.
    You did not go alone,
    for part of us went with you
    the day God called you home.

    You left us peaceful memories.
    Your love is still our guide.
    And though we cannot see you,
    you are always at our side.

    Our family chain is broken
    and nothing seems the same,
    but as God calls us one by one,
    the Chain will link again.

    Reply

  38. Kristina says

    Your post touched me personnally, thank you for sharing and my deepest sympathy to you and your family. I can just see the love in your aunt from the pictures. Having lived with MS since the age of 19, I am a lucky one, 15 years later….I have attacks yearly and then remission occurs, but after being diagnosed, I am so thankful because it could be so much worse. We just have to be thankful for everyday we have, and the wonderfull people in our lives.

    Reply

  42. Izabela says

    Sorry for your loss Sherry. Looks like Aunt Kay Kay was an amazing woman. Your un-traditional childhood sounds amazing too.

    Reply

  43. Eileen says

    I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry. I lost my mom to MS a few years ago and I agree, it’s a craptastic disease!!! My mom went through the same series of stages as your aunt and kept smiling through it all. I always hated that she was trapped in a body that couldn’t keep up with her spirit, but know now that she’s in heaven running and skipping and doing all of the things that stupid disease took from here. I know your aunt is enjoying the same freedom too.

    Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts today. Lots of love!

    Reply

  45. Susan says

    Oh no, this is so sad. I truly, truly feel for you guys, including your mom and siblings. I’m glad you decided to share this on the blog – we all support you! I’m praying for safe traveling and that your family would be able to comfort each other. Your aunt sounds like an awesome woman, and I’m sure it’ll be a bright spot for your family to sit around and trade stories about her like you did here. I love your reminder to reach out to the ones you love. Some of my friends think my siblings and I are nuts because we all talk on the phone with our mom every single day, but we love her! I’ll never look back and think ‘man, I wish I had talked to Mom LESS.’ Now I’m off to call my mom :) I’m sending your family major Internet hugs and chest bumps.

    Reply

    • Sayward says

      Haha, ironically, I accidentally posted the above comment AS my mom. She has me enter your contests because she can’t really work the Internet, and her info was still in the comment field :) We love you guys!

  47. Karen F says

    Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your Aunt Kay Kay sounds like an amazing person. This post was a really beautiful tribute to her. I’m thinking of you and your family today.

    Reply

  49. Jennifer says

    So sorry for you loss! Always a tragedy. No matter how long you have! I have a best friend with MS (diagnosed in 2007) now wheelchair bound and lost my dad on Monday to cancer. Hug the ones you love and tell them every chance you get. Such a bummer of a way to be reminded, but a reminder no less!
    Travel safe.

    Reply

  50. Erika says

    Hi Sherry,
    So sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt.
    Thanks for sharing part of your life with us.
    You really look like your aunt; both so pretty.

    Reply

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