Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Jasmine says
Sincere condolences to you and your extended family. That was a lovely post about your aunty, she sounded like a beautiful woman.
Jerri says
Wow, Sherry. Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful growing-up story. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family to help you cope with losing your Aunt Kay Kay. So glad you are able to celebrate her life so soon after losing her. xoxo
Amber says
I’m so sorry for your loss. She was like a second mother to you. I lost my mother when I was seven years old. I know how hard it is. I will be thinking of you and your family.
YoungHouseLove says
Thank you Amber. So sorry for your loss.
xo,
s
Kristin says
What a lovely tribute to her!
“. . .you will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of a beloved person. But this is also the good news. They live forever, in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back
up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather is cold—but you learn to dance with the limp. You dance to the absurdities of life: you dance to the minuet of old friendships.” –Anne Lamott, O
magazine (several years ago)
YoungHouseLove says
Beautiful and true.
xo,
s
Jamie Lee says
This is such a beautiful post, Sherry. I’m so sorry for your loss, but so happy for you that you had such an amazing woman in your life. My thoughts are with you guys today.
Jen @ RamblingRenovators says
So very sorry for your loss Sherry. Your Aunt sounds like she was a brave, kindhearted woman. How wonderful that you got to spend so much time with her growing up. We should all be so lucky to be raised in loving households. My thoughts are with you.
linda says
sherry, so sorry for your loss…. what a wonderful tribute this post is to your wonderful aunt!
HUGz!
braelin says
Sherry,
This was such a special tribute to an amazing lady– you definitely resemble her too (both beautiful)!
V says
So sorry for the loss of a strong and beautiful soul.
Your family sounds amazing. It’s a great thing to be so close with family, and I hope the strong bond you have gets you and your loved ones through this sad time.
Suz McA says
What a sweet tribute to your aunt… my heart is breaking for your family.
candace says
Sherry, I’m so so so sorry. Your aunt sounds like a brave and beautiful soul – she’d be thrilled by your touching post. Hang in there, *hugs*.
Sierra says
I’m sorry for your loss. :( Your post is beautiful and your love for her shines through it.
Hugs to your family during this time.
Christine says
I lost an aunt a few weeks ago too. Saying a prayer for all of you.
Laura says
What a beautiful tribute to someone you clearly love. Family is precious, no matter how crazy we think they are :-)
I often think about how lucky Clara is to have this amazing blog to look back on when she’s older and basically see her family’s life written in great detail (well, I know you guys don’t share EVERYTHING!). I’m sure this is one of the many posts you’ll point her to and she’s a lucky girl for that.
I enjoy every minute of your blog and tell people about it all the time. Thanks for always keeping it real, being hilarious, being so honest and showing that you can make a career out of something you truly love. Love me some Young House Love.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Laura. Thanks to everyone showing us so much love today. Means so much.
xo,
s
Amanda J. says
I am so sorry for your loss :(. Your post is a lovely tribute to your Aunt Kay Kay.
RebeccaNYC says
What a wonderful tribute to your wonderful Aunt! I am so sorry for your loss….
laura says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing about your family and all the love you grew up around – I love hearing about peoples’ past and how it influenced who they are today. I think you’ve also mentioned that your mom remarried and you have 2 step-siblings? Were you off to college by that time so you didn’t grow up with them?
I will be thinking about you and your family.
YoungHouseLove says
Yes, my mom remarried when I was off at college so I didn’t see his grown kids (they were in their 20s/30s) very much. My mom and my step dad split up last year though, which is sad since he was definitely a part of the family after the 13 years he spent “in the fold.”
xo,
s
jennifer o. says
What a beautiful post, and I am so sorry for your loss. She sounded like a beautiful person.
Fiona says
Sherry, such a beautiful post. So sorry for your loss.
Lisa in Seattle says
Oh, Sherry, what a sad day for you and your family. I’m so sorry – she sounds like a remarkable lady and you all look so happy. Thank you for taking the time to share your personal reminisces with all of us. Nobody is every truly forgotten who has a tale shared about her life, and now we all know her just a tiny bit too. Thinking of you today.
Katie Crawford says
I am so sorry for your loss.
Rachel says
<3
Kimberley says
You and your family are in my thoughts. How fortunate you were to grow up with such a close extended family. The greater the love, the greater the loss. Take care.
Amy says
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story paints her as a beautiful and loving woman. Thank you for sharing with us and I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Much Love,
Amy
Natalie says
I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry. Your aunt sounds like an amazing person and I’m so happy you have so many wonderful memories to look back on and keep her memory alive.
Hanna says
All our good thoughts and sympathy to your family. Your Aunt sounds like a wonderful, wonderful person. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and hers, with us.
My youngest cousin was diagnosed with MS last week and we are still struggling to figure out what it means. It’s knocked the stuffing out of us, for sure. She is just 22.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Hanna, I hope she has a more manageable type (there seem to be a great range of them) – and modern medicine is so much more advanced than it was decades ago when my aunt was diagnosed. I am sending your cousin lots of love.
xo,
s
Ayisha says
Reading this post Sherry was very emotional for me. Although I can get teary eyed at almost any story I grew up in a blended family and I understand those experiences you speak of. Another thing that really got me thinking was the part about you blogging about your aunt and that Clara will be able to read every post you make. I can remember reading my husbands baby book and what my mother-in-law documented on a weekly basis. Can you imagine the history/memories that Clara and Will Bower will have at their fingertips. Blogging seems to have rewards that you probably never imagined going into this. I’m planning to start a simple little blog in a few months and I can’t wait to have kids to include in some of those posts.
Elizabeth says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. Just think of all the memories you’ve shared with your aunt over the years! My thoughts are with you and your family.
xo
susan says
Wishing your family some measure of peace in your hearts during this difficult time. What a lovely definition of “family” you have…:)
Rebe says
So sorry to hear of your loss. Both my cousin and a close friends mom have MS (though one is symptom free and one has been wheel-chair ridden for years) and it is such an insidious disease. We do our part fundraising and participating in MS Walks/Runs/Events but it still hurts when it hits so close to home. Prayers for you and your family today.
Elaine says
Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman. What a blessing to have had her in your life and playing such an important role as a second mother.
Jennifer says
Thinking about you & your family today <3
As usual, these posts really resonate with me & it's always nice to take a step back & really truly appreciate what we all have.
Tara says
What a beautifully written post! I’m so sorry for your loss, sherry. Losing loved ones is so hard. It sounds like you’ve got a million happy memories of her:)
Stacy says
So sorry for your loss. What wonderfully written tribute to your aunt–sending good thoughts your way.
Donna says
I’m so sorry to hear about your beautiful aunt.
DebInNYC says
Sherry… family is EVERYTHING. R.I.P to Aunt Kay Kay and I hope you always smile when you think of her. What a blessing she must have been. xo
Erin says
Sherry,
I’m sure I speak for many readers in saying that it’s an honor that you’ve shared this beautiful tribute with us. I’m sitting in my office crying (inappropriately) right now.
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss and the injustice of losing someone long before you really should.
I also grew up in a somewhat unconventional household — divorced, extra siblings and cousins, etc. — and I lost my father during my senior year of high school to ALS, a condition similar to MS. I hope that Kay’s last months, days and moments were peaceful and as free of pain as possible. Clearly her legacy lives on in the beautiful life that you live, are continuously cultivating, and share with all of us — Clara will certainly feel her influence even if she won’t remember Kay.
On a slightly lighter note, your mom and Kay look uncannily similar. Your family seems to have a super-strong family resemblance — and you’re all gorgeous!
*Virtual hugs*
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Erin. Your words are so sweet. Thank you.
xo,
s
hjc says
So very sorry for your loss Sherry. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful person, and your tribute to her was beautiful. Her memory will live on in your life – you are the person you are because of her loving presence in your life.
Abby S. says
I’m so sorry for your loss!
It’s sometimes hard for outsiders to understand how much a person who is not your parent can mean to you and the role they played in your life. I recently lost my aunt and soon after her husband. The two of them meant the world to me. They were older and retired and took care of me almost every night while my single mom worked 2nd shift. They’re kids, while much older than me, always call me their little sister. While it’s not the “norm,” these families we build for ourselves can be even better!
Hugs and prayers to you and your family!
becky says
So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your family – as blended and unconventional as it was.
Koliti says
My dearest thoughts go out to you for the loss of your wonderful Aunt Kay Kay.
I read somewhere that a person will have 5 pivotal people during their lives and 5 life-changing events that happen to them. (Of course there could be more).
Sherry, for you your Aunt Kay Kay was one of those people AND one of those events – a lot of extraordinary things happened because she moved in with your “family” and loved you.
YoungHouseLove says
So sweet and so true.
xo,
s
Chelsea @ Chelsea Eats Treats says
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of you Aunt Kay Kay. She sounds like a sensational woman and obviously had more strength than many of us could ever imagine having. I am so sorry to hear she passed, but I’m sure she is happier now and can look down on you, John, Clara, and Burger and see you every day :) We are all here for you in support!! xoxo
Diane Taylor says
Sherry this post made me cry big time. I agree that family is the most important thing in this world. I lost my only child on March 1st in a tragic fire in his apartment. My life changed in an instant that day. I miss him so much – he lived a purpose filled life and did more in his 24 years on earth than I have in my 53 years here. I can tell from your post how important your aunt was to your upbringing. I think we all have aunts like that – the ones who practically raised us? I am so very sorry for your loss. I appologize for bringing up my son – but I want the world to know about him and how very proud I am of him.
Sending love and prayers to you and your family,
Daine
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Diane, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your son sounds like an amazing person.
xo,
s
James Olsen @ Home 4 The Heart says
Its wonderful to be able to celebrate her life on a day like this when one could easilly dwell on the negative
Amy says
Three words: I’m so sorry (…and a big hug)!
Emily Anne says
So very sorry for you and your family’s loss, Sherry. She sounds like such an amazing and strong woman, and it’s really nice that you have so many wonderful memories to always remember her by. Thinking of you guys and sending love. <3
Lisa says
So sorry to hear about your Aunt, but a very nice tribute to her.
patti says
Thank you for sharing that lovely tribute. I’m very sorry for the loss you must be feeling now, but happy for all the love represented in that post. What an amazingly courageous woman, and her life’s journey was made as sweet as possible by spending it with all of you. Be well, friend. It is a beautiful life because of the time you had together. Xo
Ashley@AttemptsAtDomestication says
I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry, she sounds like an amazing woman! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers!
Aad says
Lovely tribute to someone who sounded like a really warm person. I’m sorry for your loss.