Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Anna says
A beautiful and touching tribute to an amazing woman.
Remember her smiling
Roxanne M says
So sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. I know that you have a new guardian angel that watches over you constantly.
Take care of yourself.
Sheila says
Sherry, i am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman!
Carrie says
I am very sorry about your Aunt, it sounds like she was a wonderful and strong woman who helped raise you in a house full of happiness and love. Thinking of you and your family today.
Love, Carrie, Finn, and family.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Carrie. Smooches to Finn!
xo,
s
Jamie says
I am truly sorry for the loss of your Aunt. She sounds like an amazing woman, a great influence in your life.
Eli says
Sherry, sorry to hear the sad news about your aunt…happy thoughts being sent your way!
Kelly says
What a sweet and thoughtful post, Sherry. Sending prayers and loving thoughts to you and your family. She sounded like a wonderful lady.
Amanda says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. Your aunt sounds like an incredible person who will always live on in your hearts.
Melissa says
What a beautiful post, Sherry. Your Aunt sounds like a wonderful woman and I’m very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Vee says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry and family. Family is indeed a blessing – there is absolutely no one or nothing that can take their place. After having suffered the losses of several family members, I hold on tight to the ones I have left.. Lovely post, beautiful tribute to your aunt, Sherry.
Tanya K says
So sorry for your loss! What a beautiful post in memory of your aunt, she sounds like an amazing person.
Denise says
Sherry, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt. Thinking of you and your family.
Meredith says
Sherry, I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Karen T. says
Ohhh Sherdog. So sorry for you and what your family is going through. l lost my my when I was 32 and she was only 59 to cancer and it just SU-UCKED. It’s been 5 years and I still miss her and wish she could see my boys play soccer. It took me a lot of days until I stopped feeling like a boat who had lost her sail…Take time to grieve and know that we (your virtual friends) are thinking of you.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Karen. So sorry for your loss.
xo,
s
Aimee says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry. My grandma is currently battling M.S. so I know what a heartless, selfish disease it is. You and your family are in my prayers.
Jessica says
So sorry for your loss Sherry! The post was a beautiful tribute to her!
Bibiana says
That brought tears to my eyes. Sorry for your loss, Sherry.
Wrenaria says
Beautiful post. Sounds like your aunt was a wonderful lady. MS is a rough one.
My mom was mis-diagnosed with MS for several years before doctors figured out she actually has an earl onset Parkinson’s, which isn’t really an improvement in diagnosis, but at least her medications actually help a bit now. I know what its like watching an incurable disease progress in someone you love – it’s not easy, for them or for you. Not easy at all.
My condolences to you and your family. My thoughts are with you. <3
Judy says
What an awesome tribute. Seriously, Sherry, wouldn’t you like to have someone speak that way about you after you are gone? She sounds like a wonderful, strong woman. BTW, you look a lot like her. I am sorry for your loss.
Emily says
Sorry for your loss! What a beautiful lady.
Tracey says
I had a feeling this post was gonna end on a sad note. I got super choked up and teary. What a beautiful lady and what a wonderful family environment to grow up in. How special is it that each one of the people you grew up with is a part of you? I think Aunt Kay Kay’s love & laughter rubbed off on you big time. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family today!
KiTx says
I’m so sorry for your loss, and for the loss of your family and your brothers. My situation isn’t identical, but similar in that I have two brothers that others in the world would call my cousins, and 2 additional mom figures who others would call my aunts. How lucky she was to get to have a daughter figure in you, and how lucky for you to have such a wonderful mother figure in your life in addition to your biological mom. Thank you for sharing your Aunt Kay Kay with us so we could celebrate her, too, and sending lots of love y’all’s way.
Erin says
Sherry I am so so sorry for your loss. This post hits home bc my mom has ms as well. She’s had it for ten years but nothin really severe has happened yet. I read all these stories about folks who are immobile such as your aunt and can’t even fathom. It’s so hard for us to even talk about it. We almost never do bc I am still in denial becaus she is so “normal”. Thank you for posting this. I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you at this time. Xo
Katherine R. says
Sorry for your loss. Her attitude is such a testament to her character and a great example of how we can all chose joy in spite of our circumstances. Praying for your family.
Amelia says
Beautifuly written Sherry and a wonderful reminder for all of us about the true blessing in life: family. After all, many of us invest so much of our resources into fixing/decorating our homes, without special people to share it with it is all wasted. May your Aunt’s memory be eternal.
Dawn says
What a wonderful and touching story not only about your upbringing but your lovely Aunt. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Prayers to all!
Devon Strahm says
I am sorry to hear about your loss, thank you for posting your lovely memories. May she now rest in perfect peace and live on in all of your hearts.
Tara says
So sorry Sherry. I’m thinking of you and your family. Your mom will need lots of extra visits and hugs. My mom’s younger sister was also her best-friend and when she died of cancer at 40, my mom was a mess, and Aunt D didn’t live with us. Having said that, what an awesome and unique family you have. So many memories to share and reflect on. Hugs to you all.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about your aunt and the hard time it gave your mother, but how wonderful that she had a sister to be so close with.
xo,
s
Mrs. LIAYF says
I am so very sorry for your loss. It is clear that your aunt was an amazing, lovely person and how lucky you were to have her as a second mother growing up!
This was a beautiful tribute to her. My parents divorced when I was small and my father was not involved. Reading this I was extremely jealous of your childhood – so many brothers, so much love!!! What a wonderful post!
Julia says
I am so sorry for your loss. You are all in my thoughts.
What a wonderful tribute – your love for her shines through and is very touching.
Sharon says
That is sad. My good friend’s mom just passed on Saturday night from the same disease. It is a tough thing to see someone though.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about your friend’s mother. Please send her some love from us.
xo,
s
Emily V. says
Very Beautiful post.. my sincere condolences.
Angie says
Sherry, I’m sorry for your loss. I, too, grew up in a household with my mom, my sister, and my Aunt (Pamela Kay, actually). It is wonderful having that extra mom in the house and to this day she is like third parent to me. I’m sorry you’ve lost your Aunt Kay Kay. My your family find solace in one another during this tough time.
YoungHouseLove says
Kay must be a popular in the aunt world.
xo,
s
Nicole W. says
Beautiful. It’s lovely you’re able to focus on your gratitude for her life. It takes a village to raise children, and it sounds like your “village” was filled with love.
Mrs. LIAYF says
Oh, and that first picture of you with your brother – my first thought was “that’s Clara!!” :)
Kate says
I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman and you have wonderful memories of your time with her. Thinking of you all.
Tammy O'Neill says
Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like such a lovely person, and she’s obviously had a wonderful, positive influence on you and, in turn, now on Clara and the way you and John are raising her. That’s about the best legacy a person can leave in my humble opinion. Thank you for sharing such personal family details with your readers — I know I really appreciate learning more about how you became you. You guys inspire me with DIY projects (of course!) but also about being positive and choosing to be happy and make the most of things. Thank you for that — not a small accomplishment!
Catherine G. says
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know you will keep your aunt’s light shining.
trisuv says
So sorry for your loss. I’m sure her presence in your life had a huge influence on the person you are today. Your post is a beautiful tribute to her.
Sarah in Indiana says
I’m so sorry. What a lovely memorial of your aunt. I have an aunt with MS as well. Thankfully hers has been in remission for several years, but it is indeed a craptastic disease.
Diana says
My heart goes out to you. And thanks for the great reminder of those we love-even if they’re gone.
Tashia D says
That was a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry.
Elisa says
I’m so sorry to hear about your beautiful Aunt. She sounds like an amazing person.
lu mae ro says
Sherry,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful Aunt Kay Kay with us. I’m sorry for your loss.
John says
We lost our mother to MS in 1998, she never complained and helped raise six kids, five boys and one tough girl. Let’s hope a cure is found someday. All the best to you and your family.
YoungHouseLove says
She sounds like a wonderful woman, John. All the best right back to you and yours.
xo,
s
Lindsay@Tell'er All About It says
Oh, Sherry – I’m so sorry for your loss. MS is a nasty nasty disease. It’s so nice to look back and remember the good times – even through all of the bad, it’s the way your aunt will continue to live on forever.
Much love and sympathy,
Lindsay@Tell’er All About It
Elaine says
Beautiful words and tribute to your aunt. So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us and the reminder to be grateful for those we love.
Sarah says
Thinking of you and your family today! xoxo
Lisa says
Sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our prayers.
Aimee Freed says
I am all too familiar with MS, as my mom’s mom had it for 25 years. She passed away in 2002. I will never forget how she too kept fighting until the very end. Surprisingly MS is not supposed to be a hereditary disease. Well… my great grandmother had it, as well as her two daughters. My own mother has had a couple of scares with the disease, but never a full diagnosis. Just very similiar symptoms has her mom’s MS began…however, my mom’s had come and gone, luckily not sitcking around. Here’s to the men and women who have been touched in some way or another by this nasty nasty disease, who know all too well what it entails.
YoungHouseLove says
Always glad to hear of others out there who don’t let it get them down. Your grandmother sounds like a real trooper too.
xo,
s