Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Amy says
This is a beautiful tribute. I have tears streaming down my face in the office and I’m sure my co-workers think I’m loony. But love and family are the stuff that really matters in life and I often peek in at your blog during the workday for the sense of love and family that comes shining through. I’m sorry for your grief during this difficult time and I’ll be thinking about you.
Lisa says
I am very sorry for your loss. It is terrible when those who raised us and made us who we are pass away, but they stay alive in our fond memories. At least you know that she had the chance to meet your lovely daughter and she knew that she did a great job raising you. My beloved grandmother and two grandfathers passed away over the last two years and it makes me sad that they never met my son, who is now ten months old. I hope they know somehow somewhere that I am happy.
Lots of love from Würzburg, Germany
Lisa
YoungHouseLove says
Sorry for the loss of your grandparents. I’m sure they’ve “met” your son in spirit.
xo,
s
Kara says
I am so sorry for your loss – MS is definitely craptastic! Your post hit home for me, not only was a child of divorce but I also lost my Aunt a year ago this past Monday to MS, she lived in the home I grew up in for over 20 years. Although I was older when she moved in, she still had an amazing impact on me. She had amazing strength in her faith to get her through the debilitating end of her life. I wish you and your family strength during this time.
Thank you for sharing such personal information about you.
YoungHouseLove says
Sounds like very similar situations indeed. So sorry to hear about your loss too.
xo,
s
Alicia says
What a wonderful tribute…family is such a blessing…I’m praying you find comfort in the memories you have of your Aunt Kay Kay.
Lauren says
Beautifully written.
Mel Heth says
My heart goes out to you, Sherry. I have an aunt who is very special to me and I can only imagine how hard it would be to lose her. I’m so glad Clara got to meet Aunt Kay Kay before she moved on to the next world. And as an Auntie of 6, I know that you probably changed her life just as much as she changed yours. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Annie in Indiana says
I’m glad you have wonderful memories of her, through to the end. I’m so sorry her life was cut short by such a terrible disease. Much love to you (and her boys) as you grieve her loss.
Kathy says
Sending you and your family love. Take good care of your self, or even better, let folks take good care of you.
victoria says
So sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your beautiful story xxxx
laura says
I am so sorry for your loss. In april i lost my last grandfather and my wedding will be bittersweet in a few weeks. thinking of you.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about your loss too, Laura. My grandmother died the April before our wedding actually and it certainly was bittersweet, but it was still lovely to have her there in spirit.
xo,
s
Paige @ Little Nostalgia says
I’m so sorry for your loss. A family friend has MS and while he’s still walking on his own, he slows down just a little every year. It’s such a heartbreaking disease, and I hope they find a cure soon.
YoungHouseLove says
Amen to heartbreaking. Sorry to hear your friend is struggling with it too. Give him a hug for us. :)
xo,
s
Liz says
So sorry, Sherry. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Amber @ Pooch & Puddy says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m always a little amused when a blog I’ve read a long time- especially one that my boyfriend also knows about, as in “the Young House Love people did X Y Z today”- finds a connection to my own life. December of 2010 my boyfriend was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and it’s been an uphill struggle ever since. He finds it hard to look forward and know what the future holds.
Your aunt was surely an amazing woman to help raise four kids =)
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s diagnosis. We’re wishing him the best in his fight.
xo,
s
Alisa says
I am so sorry for your loss. What amazing women you were raised by. I’m glad to hear Burger and Clara were able to meet such a wonderful person.
Lorie Moynihan-Broedel says
I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry. Such a beautiful post. My ex-husband and I divorced when my son was 4 and he is now 16. Our houses are 5 blocks apart and my son lives in both! And he loves his bigger family he has on both sides.
Amanda says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sounds like an amazing, love-filled childhood, and an amazing, loving aunt.
hannah says
your family & growing up sounds amazing, a fun time with all your brothers! what a blessing to have a full home and sibling to share it with. i’m so so so sorry for your loss. MS is DEFINITELY a craptastic disease- my mother in law fought it for about 28 years, she passed almost 7 years ago. It sucks, but I also know that her illness made my husband more caring and patient, having seen everything she went through. Hopefully a cure or better treatments will be found soon.
Hugs and prayers to you and the family!!!!
YoungHouseLove says
What another nice reminder about the good that we gain from having to deal with a challenge like MS. I see those same caring and patient qualities in the folks around my aunt too. A lasting gift from her, I guess you could say.
xo,
s
Chenell Tannure says
As stated by so many above, I am very sorry for your loss.
Having worked with many families battling Huntington’s Disease (another craptastic disease, to be sure) I can tell you that the love and support she got from you and your family made all the difference for her, and that is a beautiful thing.
Here’s to Aunt Kay Kay, and to all the good souls like her…what would we do without them?
Joy says
so so sorry sweetie, she really sounds like a lovely person. I know your heart is full of loving thoughts of her and hopefully that helps you through hard days. (( huhs ))
Emily says
Your post was lovely. I also have MS and though these stories scare the crap outta me, I try and remind myself how far medicine has come.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Lauryn says
Awh, Im so sorry Sherry!! Its such a tough thing to lose anyone, but especially someone you shared so many sweet memories with. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. She was so beautiful! My mom has Progressive MS, and is wheel chair bound at this point. I know exactly how it feels to see it work through someone’s life and really just break every bit of it down. It stinks. Thinking of you and praying for you guys!!
YoungHouseLove says
Sending lots of love to you and your mom too, Lauryn!
xo,
s
Lindsey @ arkadian belle woods says
Sherry- I am so sorry for your loss and for your family’s loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Your aunt sounds like she was an amazing woman and I hope that you and your family can find even a little bit of peace and comfort knowing that she’s no longer in any pain and she will be waiting for you all to meet again one sweet day. This post gave me chills. I think it is amazing that you shared such an intimate story of your childhood and life. I know very few people that grew up under ‘normal’ circumstances like one home. Many of us can relate to having an ‘odd’ living arrangement but it is so true that it has made us who we are. I would never want to change that. Sherry, I wish you all of the comfort and strength in the world. You have so many people from all over the world that love you and wish you and your family the best during this sad time. Lots of love and prayers – Lindsey
Jen Migonis says
What a wonderful tribute to her, Sherry. I am so sorry, she sounded like such an amazing woman.
Faith Hickey says
What a wonderful tribute to your Aunt and to your family. My condolences on your loss – she sounds like a terrific lady!
Sue says
So very sorry for your loss… praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing some fond memories of your aunt, and I hope they give you comfort during this tough time.
Veronika says
awww Sherry, I’m sorry for your loss. This post was so beautiful and teared me up! Family is the best gift in the whole world. I love how you remain positive no matter what seeing the bright side of everything. And your aunt was a such a brave woman!
Hugs and love to you!
Eve says
I’m so sorry for you & your family’s loss. Your aunt sounds like she led an amazing and fulfilling life with all of you, and this is a beautiful homage to her.
Susannah says
I’m so sorry for the loss of your wonderful aunt. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. What a beautiful tribute post.
Mary says
So sorry to hear. You’re brave to share the sad with the happy. Just know that there’s a lot of support out there for you! xo
Dani says
I am so sorry that you have lost from the physical world such an important part of your life. The great part is that she will always be with you, just in other ways. (like in how you love your family!)
Diane @ DixieJulep says
So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your aunt!
Karen says
So sorry for your loss! Thank you for the reminder of how precious family is and that no matter how unconventional our caregivers, be they parents, grandparents, aunts etc…. Do the absolute best they can…. And generally it is wonderful and provides awesome memories and a richer experience!
My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you whom have lost an angel.
Amber says
So very sorry for your loss. It’s never easy losing a loved one. Especially a beloved Aunt. I’ll be praying for you and your family as you deal with her passing. Thanks for sharing your story. :)
JessieBelle says
Sherry, I lost my mother last year to breast cancer, and now my mother-in-law is fighting breast cancer/severe gall bladder failure. My thoughts and prayers are with you. <3
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry for your loss Jessie. Here’s wishing all the strength in the world to your mother-in-law too.
xo,
s
Jillian {Her Split Ends} says
I’m so sorry to hear about your Aunt’s passing. MS is such a horrible and mysterious disease. I pray that she has found peace and that you and your family can as well. I have several people in my life struggling with MS and it breaks my heart to know how difficult it can be. Your Aunt sounds like an amazing woman that I know will live on in your family forever!
XO
~ Jillian
http://www.hersplitends.com
Kelley says
This was a beautiful tribute to her memory. My thoughts and condolences to your family.
Sara says
What a beautiful tribute to not only your aunt, but your family…Take care and I will be snuggling with my family (2year old daughter, 10 year old dog (cocker spaniel), and husband a little tighter tonight.
Mandy says
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. Clara definitely has some VERY strong women to look to as she grows.
Stephanie says
I’m so sorry to hear that Sherry. Big hugs and lots of love to you and your family. She sounds like a really great person.
Deanna says
Sherry, what a great tribute to a wonderful person! My aunt (whose middle name is Kay–maybe it’s all in the name?!) is a key person in my life and I’d be LOST without her so I’m particularly touched by the loving way you speak about Aunt Kay Kay. May you and your family be comforted by those memories in the coming weeks and months. Blessings to you all.
Kay says
I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like she was a second mom to you. I shed a few years for you and your family while reading your beautiful post (as I’m sure many are doing today as they read this). Even though we don’t know each other I am sending hugs to you today!
Janelle D says
I’m sorry for your loss, Sherry. It seems like she played such an important part in your life. Take all the time you need… Hugs to you & your family!
Christina says
Sherry, John and Clara,
I’m very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person with a truly beautiful soul. And what a lovely way to pay tribute to her, too. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Much love,
Christina
morgan says
So sorry for your family’s loss.
Morgan says
Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in times of sorrow.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
I’m so happy you had this wonderful ‘sister-mom’ (that’s what my sister and I called our Marian) in your life, and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sending lots of love your way,
Morgan
mollie says
what a lovely post. it sounds as though your aunt and family had a wonderful life together. i’m so sorry for your loss! side note- you look SO much like her! :)
Annemarie L says
Family is so important. Hold fast to those memories with her. That is amazing that Clara got to meet her in her last years.
sheila says
Sorry for your loss! What a nice post about your aunt and family.
Michelle says
My mom has MS and we are experiencing another life changing relapse for her and loss for us. Your post is full of tenderness and warmth. It reminds me of my own childhood, including the love I have for my mom, the chaos and crappiness of MS and the expeience of divorced parents. I appreciate your story and will pray for your family today.
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Michelle. Wishing you, you mom and your family the best too. Give her a big hug for me.
xo,
s
lizaanne says
May she rest in the peace of Christ for eternity. I will keep her in my prayers, as well as those she loved, and loved her back.
God bless,
~lizaanne