Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Allison M. says
I’m sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful lady and you were lucky to have her in your life.
Mel says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Before the memorial service of a friend who was taken far too soon, a woman at my church said, “God’s heart was the first one broken.” Simple words that provided me with comfort, so I’m passing them on.
Thank you for sharing this with us Sherry, and giving us the opportunity (in a small way) to provide you support.
Katherine Victoria says
You and John touch so many people with your blog, and today I know you reminded us all of the truly important things in life. Thank you for that. Sending love to you and your family and appreciating all the love and smiles your aunt shared with the world…
Hayley says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss.
Thinking of and praying for you and your family.
<3
Erin @ Vale Design says
Love and prayers to you and your family. I will hug my loved ones extra tight today.
Laura says
So. Much. Love. I hope you can take a few days off, Sherry. . .this is almost like losing a parent for you. My condolences.
Jenny says
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss of someone so special to you. I know what you mean about wanting Clara to be able to know about/read about her aunt one day. I don’t even have any children yet and when my mom was sick with breast cancer one of the things I worried more than anything was that she wouldn’t get to meet or know my children and vice versa. Thank goodness she is on the other side and is healthy now but when you have people you love who are amazing, you want to be able to share them with everyone special to you! I don’t know you personally, but it seems like you will be able to relay your aunts kind spirit to Clara through your own kind heart. Great people leave an imprint on others, so they never really completely leave us. :)
YoungHouseLove says
So happy to hear your mom has made it passed her cancer and can meet your kids someday.
xo,
s
Nan says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I just can’t imagine how heavy your heart must be with grief. You and your family are in our prayers.
alg says
I’m so sorry, Sheri. You’re in my heart today <3
Chrystie says
Thinking of you and your family. What an amazing post, it definitely brings a tear to my eye. And thank you for the reminder that life is short, and family is what matters- whatever version it comes in!
LARY @InspirationNook says
Sherry, this is lovely post. I also grew up with my aunt having Multiple Sclerosis and her sense of humor is what has kept her going all these years. Virtual hug to you!
Sarah says
I’m so sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing your family with us!
Kathy says
It sounds like your aunt was a wonderful lady. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
Ari says
So sorry for your loss Sherry! May you always cherish all the wonderful times you shared with your Aunt. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
melissa says
Sorry for your loss…I’m sure you’ve been told before but you look just like her!
Alison says
Very sorry for your loss. Your Aunt is resting in peace and no longer in pain. Very nice tribute to her and her memory.
Kate says
Sending love… I had an audible, “Noooo!!!” and tears when I got to the paragraph that shared that she had passed. Sounds like a second mother… a bonus mom. :) I’ll be thinking of you and your family as you remember her this week especially. <3
Leanne says
Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like an absolutely amazing woman. My mom has had MS for almost 30 years, so I know what an incredibly difficult and crappy disease it is. Let your aunt’s strength and grace serve as an inspiration for you, as I know my mom always has and will for me. Blessings to you and your family!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks so much Leanne. Give your mom a hug for us.
xo,
s
Amber says
Sending love and prayers to you and your family as you celebrate your aunt’s life. You are such an inspiring person and now it’s clear why. Hugs to you!
Laura says
A long-distance hug from me to you and your lovely family.
Erin says
What a wonderful post to honor her memory. I am so sorry for your loss. What an amazing childhood to have with so much fun and so much love in it! My aunt who was the matriarch of my family passed away the last weekend of March after finding out she had cancer two weeks prior. My son was born 10 days after she passed, which I think was able to help with the grieving process by knowing that with death comes life. I was one of the only ones of our family who was unable to visit her before she passed, but I know she knows I was thinking of her and would have been there if my 9 month pregnant body could handle the 8 hour drive! Just remember to hug your loved ones often and tell stories about you aunt to keep her memory alive. Take care!
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry for the loss of your aunt, Erin. I’d like to think she gave you a pass for not being able to travel under the circumstances. :)
xo,
s
Crystal says
So sorry for your loss.
Kara says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry.
My aunt moved in with my mom and dad and I when my little sister was born. She was my dad’s sister and never got married or had any kids, so it was like having a second mom. Whenever we got in trouble, we always went to her and she made things seem better. She was super crafty and I have her to thank for my LOVE for crafts and all things DIY. She moved out when I started in middle school, but she always remained a VERY close relative and came to visit me in college and what not. She passed away almost two years ago of cancer and it was extremely hard. It was even harder to get engaged and share that happiness with her but not have her at the wedding, because I knew she’d be proud and she would be right by my side with all my wedding DIY projects.
Anyway, THANK YOU for that post. It is fun to share that kind of love and relationship of an aunt like that with someone else.
Christin says
Thanks for sharing such a lovely and personal post. Your aunt sounds wonderful. MS is a terrible disease. My sister was diagnosed with it several years ago. So far it’s been progressing very slowly which we are all very thankful for. But we don’t know what the future holds. So I try to cherish every family moment. I’m so very sorry for this loss in your family. My prayers go out to you and your family. This is a great way to memorialize her life.
Robin now in Gulf Shores says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your aunt and your family. I am currently sitting in an airport waiting to catch my flight back to North Carolina to see my gravely ill aunt. My prayers go out to you and yor family. Peace.
Petra says
Beautifully written about a wonderful person! Praying for your family.
Inga says
This was a beautiful post. I got a little teary-eyed at the end. My thoughts are with you and your family. MS is a terrible disease. Heres to one day finding a cure!
Katherine says
So sorry for your family’s loss – I am sure Clara will love reading this tribute when she is old enough, and it will give her some insight into her momma’s life.
Jodi T. says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry. My grandmother raised me, and she died from Leukemia 2 years ago. She was a very strong woman who raised all four of her daughters, me, and my younger cousin… By herself… It’s so hard to lose someone who was such a stronger person… a FIGHTER. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing I’ll be with her again one day, and she’ll be without pain and worry. Praying for you and your family.
Lauren says
I am so sorry for your loss. My grandfather died a few years ago after battling MS for 40 years. It’s such a terrible disease, and I’m sorry you had to watch your aunt progress through all of the different stages. My grandfather was in a wheelchair by the time I was born, and bedridden for as long as I can remember. I wish I never had to watch him suffer like that, but despite everything, he was always sharp as a tack and told us hilarious stories of his childhood. I’m glad your aunt was able to handle things the same way.
You are so blessed to have grown up with so many loving relatives, and I’m glad that you have such fond memories of your aunt. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Among says
Sherry,
My grandma is dying–doctors gave her one month Max. And I’ve been thinking of her and all the happiness she brought to our family. It’s been hard, but your post gives me strength. Thank you so much for sharing–and I’m really sorry for your lose! May we all feel better soon :)
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry Among! I hope you pack in all the love you can in the coming days!
xo,
s
Sonia says
So sorry for your loss. But its great that you are reflecting more on what you received and not what you lost.
And its nice to see that you have so many siblings. No wonder you have such a wonderful smile.
Katie says
Last week we celebrated the 3 year anniversary of my dad’s death from Mesothelioma (asbestos-related lung cancer). Its so awful to lose someone who raised you and was such an integral part of your life. He didn’t make it to see me get married, buy our first house, or welcome two beautiful girls into this world. And today, on my birthday, I miss him even more. It never gets easier, but he’s always in my heart and never far from my mind. I know he would be head-over-heels for my girls (he would be the proud Poppa of 5 granddaughters!) and I can’t wait for my daughters to know how wonderful their Poppa was and how I strive to live my life as he did every day. Thinking of you and your family today Sherry and sending you love and hugs :)
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Katie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for the hugs. Sending the right back.
xo,
s
Vivian says
Beautiful tribute! Blessings to you and your family as you walk through this difficult time. The memories will become true treasures and insure that your aunt will never be without influence in your life.
Robin says
Hugs to you and and your family.
Jen D. says
Many warm thoughts to you, your family, and all of the people who loved your Aunt Kay. ?
Janice says
She sounds wonderful..I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have many wonderful memories…that helps when we lose someone we love. Remember the good times.
Gina P says
I’m so very sorry for your loss Sherry. She sounds like a wonderful person.
Cathy Davis says
I am so sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to write about someone you cared for so much.
Beth says
Sherry, that is a beautiful tribute to your Aunt. I am so sorry for your loss. I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers today.
Amanda says
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. This was such a beautiful post about your aunt – she clearly made a difference in your life, and being about to touch others like that is SUCH an important part of this journey called life. Thinking of your whole family. xoxo
Willa says
Oh, Sherry, your almost instant reaction to transcend your grief to write this loving eulogy to your aunt proves that you absorbed her life lessons. I would count my life totally worth whatever it cost to have a relative who learned such grace.
I also count your blog such a blessing because of a) your positive outlook and b) your good grammar and spelling (at least when compared to 95 per cent of all other blogs).
It’s a blessing because I was raised pretty negatively and have to spend a lot of time getting where you go in such a seeming effortless way. It would totally take me six months to be able to grieve and get to the point where I could write such a tribute.
Enjoyed the old photos, too!
Joanna says
Love & prayers for you guys. MS is a really scary and sucky disease. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I always thank my lucky stars that it isn’t MS. It sounds like you had a fabulous family and were blessed with an aunt and cousins to live with you!
Jane says
So sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have great memories!
Amanda K says
your aunt kay was definitely beautiful – she looks like you and your mom, and clara, too.
thanks for sharing this part of your life.
Lisa says
Very sorry for your loss. A touching tribute to your aunt. I know far too well the pain of loss, as my younger sister was killed seven years ago, at the age of 21 (DWI accident passenger) and my dad passed away last year from cancer. It’s important to smile fondly on the memories made. All the best.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Lisa, I’m so sorry for your loss. Definitely trying to smile fondly – we had so many memories.
xo,
s
Kelley says
Sherry – So sorry to hear of your loss. Sounds like your Aunt was an awesome woman and you were lucky to have grown up next to her. MS is craptastic indeed. I will be thinking of you and your family during the next few days as you say your final goodbyes to Aunt Kay Kay.
Danielle says
Oh, Sherry. . .
As regular readers, we see so much of your life and get to feel like we know you. Posts like this just break my heart. Reading about this feels like hearing the same story from a close friend. I can’t help but cry at the thought of it, but so glad that you have such a beautiful family to help ease your pain. Hug Clara tight, lean on John, and know that you have a whole virtual family all over the world with open hearts!
My heart goes out to your family today. . . xo
Jen says
Sherry,
A beautiful and inspiring tribute to you aunt Kay Kay and family. Thanks for sharing. So deeply sad for your loss.
Alondra says
Sherry,
I can see why you’re such a compassionate, humble, sweet and funny woman- it was awesome people like your Aunt Kay that you learned from and looked up to. She was beautiful inside and out (as are you).
I’m so sorry for your loss and please know you’re in my thoughts.