Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Sarah says
Thinking of you, Sherry, as well as Kay Kay’s two sons. May you keep her spirit alive and well! Hoping you can hibernate with loved ones as this huge loss sinks in. Sending you a big hug.
Laci says
Father in Heaven, please blanket Sherry and her family in Your peace and continue to keep their memories clear and strong! I also lift up Sherry’s mom to you, Lord, and ask that You hold her in Your hands and comfort her like only a father can comfort his baby girl after she has been hurt. I pray that she feels Your complete love and promise of protection. Thank you, Lord. Amen
What a blessing that you were able to witness your Aunt’s life and she your’s in such a special way. I cannot imagine the strength your mom and aunt’s bond was allowed to grow to through the forming and maintaining of your family unit (as well as the bond between you and your aunt!) During those rare opportunities when I get a glimpse at God’s plan through hindsight, I’m always amazed at how His plan is a million times better than I could have ever planned (or most times, even imagined!) What a perfectly planned family!
Alison says
Amen!
GreekWife says
I have MS and it always makes me uneasy when I see that someone with MS has died. I’m sorry for your loss.
On a positive note, it is nice to hear how positive an influence someone with MS can have. Sometimes I struggle with being a burden on my family instead of an asset.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh no, you’re not a burden, you’re someone special. My aunt was always the favorite. We all loved her “extra” and she gave it right back to us :)
xo,
s
Amie says
Sherry, I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like your Aunt KayKay left a wonderful mark on your life, and the more you smile and continue to light a room, the more she lives on through you.
Karin K says
Wow. What a lovely woman and you’re right – she is beautiful! It runs in the family – you and your Mom are both stunning. And come on – it takes a gogeous woman to rock the ’80’s shoulderpads like she does in the bottom picture. Besides giving hope to people considering divorce, your post also highlights something else: I think that today, mothers are under so much pressure to be perfect that asking for help is almost taboo. But look at your Mom and Aunt! They both needed help for very different reasons, and they just jumped right in…no my kids this-your kids that- just jumped in and did it. And obviously with great results. Thanks for sharing, and I hope the tears fade fast and are replaced with smiles and laughs and memories.
Paola says
What a blessing growing up with an amazing person like your Aunt. Reading your post has been the highlight of my day!
Leyna says
Family really is what you make of it, isn’t it? Having come from a very similar situation (I’m a “lonely only” who finally got two little brothers when my aunt moved in with us), I learned at a young age to appreciate and be so grateful for all the people I was lucky enough to have in my life who gave me so much love. It didn’t matter at all that we weren’t a traditional family. In this post and so many others, you come across as a truly grateful, gracious, loving person…no doubt a major reason for your success in blog land. You’ve created a little (big, really) blog family with all your readers, so I hope you feel the love coming from all of us today in such tough times. Thanks for sharing your beautiful memories.
Rayna says
I’m shedding some tears with you today, Sherry. I felt so sad to hear of the loss of someone so special to you. This post was beautiful. Thank you for sharing something as personal as love and loss with us all.
Hugs from Florida,
Rayna
Allison says
Sherry, that was a beautiful tribute to your sweet aunt. My sister-in-law has MS as well, and it is craptastic. She is only 32, and has 4 sweet kiddos, so life is a challenge for her. Loved ones are an essential support in the battle against MS, and it sounds like your aunt was a very blessed lady to be loved by your family. I will be praying for you guys.
YoungHouseLove says
Glad to hear your sister-in-law has some loved ones around here. Here’s sending some prayers her way too.
xo,
s
Barb says
Thinking of you and your family as you go through this difficult time. Your sweet memories will get you through this along with your strength! Be strong, my friend! Death is hard…especially when it is someone you dearly love.
I truly believe Sherry…you will be reunited someday. You will get to hug Kay Kay again.
BELIEVE!
B.
Lindsay says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. Your aunt was a beautiful woman, as you lovely showed through this post. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. Maybe you can do some painting or deck work to distract you a little bit.
Melissa says
Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry for your family to have lost such a wonderful lady.
Sandra says
Oh Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss! Your post brought tears to my eyes.
Meghan M. says
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family, Sherry. Thank you for sharing, that was a beautiful post.
Danielle says
Just a virtual hug. so sorry.
Jackie says
Sherry, Thank you for sharing this with all of us. You and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time.
My Great Aunt Kay spent the last 10 years of her life bedridden with MS and she passed away when I was 10 years old. I don’t remember her very well because she lived in NYC, but I know that she was a very special person and like an older sister to my Mom. I also watched my Aunt Nancy struggle with MS for the last twenty years of her life and know that is a terrible disease. This was a beautiful post and meant a lot to me personally. Thank you.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about the struggles of your aunts too. Though it does sounds like folks named Kay are mighty good fighters.
xo,
s
Aunt Lesa says
So sorry for your loss. That was one of the most beautiful tributes to anyone that I have ever read. I saw it this morning but had to come back now to comment because I was so moved I couldn’t type.
Corrie says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry. I am doing a 100 mile bike ride on August 4th called Pedal to the Point, which is organized by the MS Society and for which I’ve been doing fundraising to support MS research. I will be sure to keep you aunt in my thoughts as I make the trek in two weekends!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks so much for supporting the MS Society! And enjoy your ride!
xo,
s
Momcat says
Sherry, you are surrounded by love and light. Your aunt will always be with you, always.
Those daisies on the table say a lot about the kind of happiness and love that was in your home. The kind of love that you carry forward today, to your loved ones, and to all of us.
Thank you for sharing with us with your aunt Kay’s story. I’m honored.
Marlena says
I’m sorry, Sherry. What an inspirational story about how different families work. I loved reading about your mom and her sister raising their families together. I’m sorry for your loss, and for the loss of a very important person in your family.
JentoInfinity says
I just tweeted my condolences to you, but again, just wanted to say how sorry I am, in more than choppy, 140 character posts!
MS does suck. It robbed me of a relationship with my Nana (mostly b/c she lived 2 hrs away) and it wasn’t easy for my mom and her sibs to grow up with a “sick” mom (my grandpa died when I was a baby), but the four of them are SUPER close today because they had to be. And now, my mom’s two sisters are my 2nd and 3rd moms. One of them even lived with us for awhile when I was a kid and she was just getting started as a 20 something. So if not for Nana having MS, who knows if I would have my two aunts in the way that I do? Same thing for you–if not for Kay Kay’s MS, would she have lived with you and would you have the relationship that you do? (I say “do” because it’s still there, it’s not over.)
Hang in there, Sherry…and be good to yourself. Grief is a crazy, funny thing…one minute, you can be fine, and the next…not so much. I’ll be thinking of your family.
YoungHouseLove says
It’s so true. Sometimes I’m almost fine. Other times, not close. I think it’ll take some time and even then it might sneak up on me, but she was such a giant person in my life, I think she will always be in my heart and on my mind.
xo,
s
Kristin H. says
Your post brought tears to my eyes Sherry. I am so very sorry for your loss, your aunt was truly beautiful and looked so much like your mother and you! Please tell your mom we all feel for her terribly, I could never imagine losing a sister. Thinking about you and your family <3
Dinka says
So sorry to hear of this! It is so painful to lose a loved one…just keep remembering the happiness her legacy has clearly brought you, and keep infusing your home and family with that happiness!
Sam @ The Junk House says
Sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing such wonderful memories!
Laura says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts during this very difficult time. You truly honored your Aunt with this beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your memories of such a wonderful woman with us.
Mollee says
Sherry, my heart goes out to you as you grieve the loss of your aunt. Thank you for sharing her story. My grandma and uncle both have MS, but fortunately, they’re still very active. I’ll be thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
Michelle K. says
I’m so sorry for your loss Sherry. Ugh. MS. It’s a battle I’ve just begun myself, so it’s saddening to hear the toll it took on your Aunt, and the loss you now feel… I can truly empathize with your statement about what a craptastic disease it is. :-\ But, having a positive attitude is more than half the battle and I’m so happy she kept hers. I’ll keep working on keeping positive myself.
<3
I hope more people can become aware of this disease, and you sharing this is a big step in that direction. Not many really understand it and it can be a very quiet disease, but a very debilitating one. We all need to be very conscious of our health and changes to it. And, this especially goes for you Sherry, MS does have a few ties to genetics, so pay attention to yourself and how you feel.
And most of all… I hope you can start to heal your heart a little from this incredible loss. I found it helpful after the loss of my FIL to make a memory book about him with pictures and memories of times we spent together, him with his grand babies, and also noted who he was and what he liked. Something I'll always have to show my kids who their grandfather was.
Much love to your family.
YoungHouseLove says
That sounds like such a sweet idea. I want to make one to show Clara.
xo,
s
Diane says
You guys always make me smile, even though you made me cry today. I know it’s awkward to say on a post like this but… you shared your heart and I feel privileged. Such wonderful stories you have to share with your bean(s). I have lost many dear ones including both parents. I promise you, after the grief ebbs the memories glow brighter than ever and somehow it makes you feel rich.
Cara W says
Thank you for sharing something so personal. Death is something that I struggle with – the concept. It always helps me get through it (grief) when I remember that they will *always* be with you. It’s true. They’re always there. You just can’t see them or hear them. You’ll never be able to forget it but at least you will be able to put a positive spin on it.
Megan W. says
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and touching tribute to your family. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Grace @ sense and simplicity says
So sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t believe how much you looked like your aunt – especially in the last photo (I presume that is the two of you in the last photo).
Lesley L says
So sorry for your loss. Praying for strength and healing for all.
Kate says
Sherry, thanks for sharing this part of your family with us. Your aunt sounds like a really special lady. Thinking of you during this hard time!
Sharon says
Thank you so much for sharing that with us Sherry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at the loss of your aunt. I’m a single mom and my divorce was the single most horrible and painful thing that I have endured. I worried about my kids not having both parents around at the same time, but they have a good relationship with me and with their dad. It’s reassuring to me to look at what a fantastic person you have turned out to be, and know that my kids are gonna be just fine! (hugs)
Sabrina says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. We grew up in a very similar household. My mom was a teen mom and her much older sister was like a second mom to me. My mom always said she was a teen mom before it was on MTV haha. My cousins are all very close in age to me, except for one older girl cousin who was always my idol. Still is! My Aunt also has MS and grins and bears it like a champ. We all know how much pain she is in. It’s a horrible disease. I am now showing some similar symptoms of it, have not gotten tested yet due to insurance issues but I know that if I do have it, I have an amazing, yet crazy family there by my side.Clara is so lucky to have such a great extended family. Your aunt was a gorgeous lady!
YoungHouseLove says
Glad to hear you’ve got a strong role model in your aunt to rely on. Sending you some virtual hugs.
xo,
s
Michele @ Moonfield Lane says
Oh, Sherry, what a sweet post full of lovely memories. Thanks for trusting your blog family with something so personal. I’ll be thinking of you and your family today.
Amanda says
I’m so sorry to hear about your aunt. Reading through the comments you are still so inspiring and positive during a tough time- one of the many reason I love your blog so much.
Kristal says
I had a bit of an unconventional childhood myself. I never knew my father and in his place was the best grandmother a girl could have. I spent every summer over her house. She was the sweetest woman you would ever meet. She passed away three years ago and I was there to see her go. It was a very sad moment in my life and it still doesn’t feel like she’s gone. Thank you for the wonderful post Sherry.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about the loss of your wonderful grandmother.
xo,
s
anna see says
I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your aunt with us today. I know that her loving influence on you helped make you the caring,delightful, spunky person you are today. And I loved hearing about the sock battles. Those are some the the BEST memories I have of my childhood. Makes me smile thinking about it…
xo
Ashleigh says
I’m so sorry. I lost an aunt this summer too. There’s something special about an aunt that can’t really be explained.
YoungHouseLove says
Agreed. So sorry for your loss too.
xo,
s
Misty says
I am so sorry to hear this. Sometimes, in these moments life just doesn’t make sense… my sister-in-law’s (she’s only 22yrs old) Mom just died after a year long battle with colon cancer. It is an awful thing to lose these beautiful special people. Glad you shared though! Chin up! XO
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about your sister-in-law’s Mom. Please pass along our condolences.
xo,
s
Jenni says
May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time. Your aunt will live on through memories and the stories that you share. How wonderful for Clara to have such amazing women in her life.
*Sidenote – Clara was the name of my great-grandmother who passed away when I was in elementary school. While I don’t have very many personal memories of her, I feel just as close to her due to the stories and memories that others have shared with me. Your Clara seems to share that same jest for life. Reading of her adventures makes me smile a little more knowing that my great-grandmother would appreciate her ‘spunk.’
YoungHouseLove says
Funny you say that, Jenni. Clara was named after my grandmother who passed away when my dad was a kid. So like you, I don’t have any personal memories of her but I somehow feel connected to her now having a Clara of my own that embodies some of her qualities.
-John
Stephanie N says
So sorry for your loss Sherry! I lost my mom and and an uncle this past year and take solace in knowing how at peace they now are. No more disease and pain.
Heather says
Sherry, I’m sure you sometimes get into terrible, awful, no good, very bad moods like the rest of us, but I wanted to thank you for being so positive. It’s inspiring to see how you have maintained the happiest outlook on what others might consider difficult family situations, like divorce, non-traditional living situations, sickness, and even death. You said your Aunt was “the nice one”, and if that’s the case, you are evidence that her spirit lives on.
cappy says
whoa! so sorry to read this about your Aunt! She was really special to you and your Mom as well (hope your mom is doing ok). We have MS in our family too. It is really a confusing disease and I am so sorry that she is no longer with you and your family. Sending you all big cyber hugs!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks for the hugs, cappy. We’re sending some right back to your family.
xo,
s
katie says
She sounds like an amazing person, and i’m so sorry for your loss.
Sherri says
So amazing. What a warm and contagious smile your Aunt has. May the beautiful memories of your aunt comfort you and bring you joy in this time of sadness. (BTW- in that last photo, Clara totally resembles you)
Amy D says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful person. This post was a lovely tribute to her. My own mother also suffers from MS and I always fear the pain she goes through and may potentially go through in the future, but I also praise that she has a great outlook on life! Hugs to you and your family.
YoungHouseLove says
Always wonderful to her of others keeping a smile on their faces despite MS.
xo,
s
Lucy S says
Oh Sherry,
My condolences to you and your family. I’m sure your Aunt was so very proud of you, and it’s wonderful the love you have for her. Thanks for sharing the memories.
Hugs,
Lucy
Erin @ WriteTasty says
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. MS is definitely a “craptastic” disease. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful person; I’m so glad that you are able to look back on your years with her and smile. :)