Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Emma says
This was a beautiful tribute. Thinking of you and your family.
Brittany says
Wow, this brought tears to my eyes. I too have had a couple of losses recently and it really is a reminder to spend time with the ones you love before they leave the planet. Beautifully written. Thank you for this post.
Starr @ The Kiefer Cottage says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
charlotte says
I know you have lots of comments on here, but I just wanted to say that a blended family is chaotic, but the most wonderful one. The memories of too many in too little space, and yet all the fun…nothing better. I love hearing your story. She sounds like a wonderful person and you can keep those memories forever.
Anna says
My condolences to you and your family Sherry. Your Aunt Kay was amazingly strong and beautiful. Thank you for sharing… *Hugs*
Kelly P says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. Your aunt sounds like a lovely person who helped shape who you are. Wishing you and your family all the best.
Louisa T. says
Oh, Sherry, so very sorry to hear about your aunt. My sister is crazy special to my kids as well. She has always been “the fun one”. When Mom (aka..me) was on the warpath, they knew Aunt Lee would make things so much better (usually because she can give me a different perspective which changed the course of my anger on many occasion).
Just yesterday you were talking about how you both try very hard to keep the blog going even when on vacation. This time, take the time you need for your’s and your family’s needs. As you put so very eloquently, there is nothing more important than family and I’m guessing there’s at least five others (your Mom and four ‘brothers’) out there that need you alot more than we do right now. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Hemma says
Hi Sherry,
My deepest condolences to you for losing your Aunt K-K.
I am a Physical Therapist and have seen the awful ravages that MS can cause and have supported many patients through the ups and downs. I feel for your Aunt and the whole family as it affects the whole family.
My sympathy goes out to you and your whole family.
You wrote a beautiful , moving and heartfelt tribute. Such a hard thing to do through sadness and tears. Brava.
I hope you feel supported by all of us fans. Today we’re the wind beneath your wings.
mp says
Oh Sherry, I’m so sorry about your Aunt Kay Kay. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that she’s no longer in pain. That helped me when my husband passed away three years ago.
Thanks for writing this post about her. I love that she and your mom teamed up to conquer life. Two terrific women!
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry for the loss of your husband, mp. It has been a comfort to think about that.
xo,
s
Kate says
Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this beautiful remembrance of your aunt (and a beautiful ode to your unconventional and lovely family.) While MS is a horrible disease, I’m inspired and frankly still getting teary over the fact that your family took something awful and made it into something beautiful. What an inspiring life your family created. You had a big, loving family with wonderful memories and your aunt had a support system that was there for her. I will be thinking of you and your family.
Amiz says
My deepest condolences go out to your family. She was a beautiful woman
Stephanie @ Legally Blinde says
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a really beautiful post – thank you for sharing with us. Your aunt sounds like a truly amazing woman, and it’s wonderful that she can leave behind such a great legacy. I lost my paternal grandfather this past November, and my maternal grandfather passed away last week – it’s been very sad, but like you, I’m so thankful to have such a great family and to have known these really wonderful men. I aspire to be as good of a person as they both were.
Chris says
Terribly sorry for your loss. Your family and your Aunt will be in my prayers today.
Kristy says
Sherry,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am 30 years old and my mother was diagnosed with MS when I was just 2. She too started with a cane and then a scooter and now is in an assisted living facility with very limited mobility. We just had a baby girl 2 months ago and drove her to Florida to be able to see my mom. Unfortunately, with her disease, she was not able to hold her granddaughter. It is definitely a craptastic disease. But you’re right… the smiles and the love that can still fill a room, despite it all… that’s what you need to remember. Your aunt’s bravery through it all is a trait to be admired.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about your mom’s struggled with MS. Though if your experience introducing your daughter was anything like ours, there were still big smiles to be had by all. Wishing you guys all the best.
xo,
s
RA says
Sherry, what a lovely tribute. Your love for your Aunt Kay Kay comes shining through your grief. My condolences.
My oldest sister died 22 years ago from breast cancer. She was almost 51. She was a farmer’s wife and every summer us younger sisters helped her pick strawberries and can tomato juice and green beans. Every year on her birthday I lift a glass of tomato juice or have a strawberry “something” to honor her memory. It makes her feel especially close. I hope you will consider doing something special each year, on whichever anniversary day you choose, to honor the memory of your sweet and brave Aunt.
YoungHouseLove says
What a wonderful way to honor your sister. Love it.
xo,
s
Jules says
So sorry for your loss! Beautiful piece and tribute.
Angela says
Sherry what a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss -your aunt sounds like a really special lady. Love and hugs to you and yours. xo
Monique says
I feel you on the ‘it’s complicated’ family story, and how that makes explaining why this loss is so profound a bit cumbersome. My grandmother lived with me, and when she died it felt like losing my own mother. I imagine you feel similarly (not to take anything away from your own mother, of course).
MS is, as you described it, craptastic. I’m a physiatrist and many of my patients struggle with this disease. I applaud you for showing, however, that people with disabilities can still contribute to their communities and families.
Your aunt sounds like a great lady and I hope you find peace knowing that she’ll live on in you. Hugs.
YoungHouseLove says
Sorry to hear about losing your grandmother. And thanks for all you do to help MS patients!
xo,
s
Nina says
As a mama with MS and young children this post hits me in many tender spots. Thank you for sharing. So neat to think you and your aunt’s family sharing in growing up together. I hope my children would be so lucky if ever necessary. Thinking of you.
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Nina! Hugs to you and your fam.
xo,
s
LindseyR says
Sending you a virtual hug Sherry…(your cousins and mom too).
Xo
Lindsey R. In upstate NY
Mary says
Oh, Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like an incredible lady.
Alyssa Pederson says
I’m sorry for your loss Sherry. I know how hard it is to lose someone special from your life; I lost my grandpa 2 years ago but I still think about him all the time. My thoughts go out to you and your family. Your post dedicated to her was beautiful to read.
Karen L. says
Thank you for sharing this with us, Sherry. So sorry to hear about your beloved Aunt Kay Kay. I am my nephew and niece’s AK—spelled that way. I will hope to be a good aunt to them as yours was so special to you and yours. God bless and thank you for sharing this wonderful tribute. (You could do a wonderful eulogy for her at the remembrance for her—-nervousness be gone!) K.
Meg says
Thank you so much for sharing such fond memories of your aunt. What a lovely tribute. Praying for the whole family during this difficult time. x
Molly says
Your mom and your aunt gave you, your brother and your cousins a beautiful gift when you were children, and you will have that gift forever. I am so sorry for your loss. I was thinking about how you have experienced and been the product of 2 sisters fully loving each other and their families, and how that has helped you embrace each day, love John and Clara well (and Burger of course), and have a standard and example of what siblings can be for each other.
Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
We are blessed by your willingness to share.
Lindsey says
I am so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes and put a lump in my throat. My father passed away from bladder/prostate/bone cancer a couple of months ago and things just aren’t the same. It’s so hard when someone who has been a part of your life forever is suddenly gone. Stay strong and I wish you and your family all the best.
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Lindsey.
xo,
s
Michele says
Your Aunt is beautiful, and you look just like her. What a lovely way to carry on her legacy, through your mutual beauty and senses of humor.
My beloved aunt passed away about 7 years ago and every now and then I dream of her and it feels like a fantastic visit. I hope your Aunt KayKay visits you soon the same way.
<3
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks Michele. I’m looking forward to those “visits.”
xo,
s
Bethany says
Oh sweetie, hugs to you today.
Aaron says
Thinking of you…
Jenni says
Sherry, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear Aunt. Thanks for sharing your story and encouraging us to reach out to our families. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today.
Erin says
Oh Sherry, I am so sorry you lost your sweet aunt Kay Kay.
So many people are separated from family or have a lot of unhappiness in their family. It is such a gift when we get to love and be loved by a big bunch of family.
Many warm thoughts coming to you, your mom, your siblings and cousins, and the rest of those who love her and will miss her.
Tank top says
Thank you for sharing your story and your Aunt. I love the message you are sending…a family is a family no matter what form it takes.
My thoughts are with you all.
Ali says
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Thank you for sharing your aunt with us.
Carrie says
I have a dear friend who has MS and it is a heartbreaking disease. I am so sorry for your loss, and so glad you had the a wonderful, close, relationship with your aunt growing up and into adulthood. Thoughts, prayers and much love for you and your family.
Corinne A. says
I am a big fan of your blog and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Desiree says
I am sorry for your loss. I just lost my grandmother this past weekend. She also had a huge part in raising me so I feel lost without her.
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry for your loss too, Desiree.
xo,
s
Bridget says
What a beautiful celebration of life and family. People sometimes don’t realize their life’s purpose until the look behind. Your beloved Aunt was there for you as a child like a second Mom and must be so proud of the wonderful mother you have become. Thank you for sharing this.
NatalieO says
I’m so sorry for your loss. My father has MS and has been battling it for over 10 years now. Everyday is a blessing! I’m so glad that she saw happiness even at the end of her life.
Keep smiling!! You know she would want that!! =)
YoungHouseLove says
And may you have many more blessings with your father ahead of you!
xo,
s
Gaidig says
My condolences. She seems like a wonderful person, and she really fought the good fight.
Abby says
Sherry,
I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story, what a wonderful way to grow up!
Alicia says
What a beautifully well-written tribute to your aunt. You have me tearing up in NC. I’m so sorry for your loss but happy for you that you have all those wonderful memories.
Megan says
Sherry, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Dad a few months ago; your pain will ease in time, leaving you with wonderful memories of your aunt. It sounds odd, but we found laughing about all the funny things Dad said and did was the best medicine in the early days.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers xxx
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Megan. It does help to laugh – we keep thinking of cute things she said. She was such a ray of sunshine. Even when we were all crabby and whiny. Haha.
xo,
s
monica says
my aunt also is a huge inspiration to me (i became a doctor because she was one) but now she has a chronic debilitating disease and she had to stop working. so hard to see someone you love go through a tough disease and take their life at a young age, and it hurts to know there is nothing you can do to help fix the problem. i find comfort in the fact that her uplifting personality is still there, i’m sure that was similar in your case. sorry for your loss. i’ll keep you in my prayers. :)
YoungHouseLove says
So sorry to hear about your aunt, Monica. But how nice to hear you’re carrying on her spirit through your work.
xo,
s
mariel saunders says
i’m so sorry for your loss. your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Stefanie says
I am sorry for your loss.
I was watching some videos yesterday by StoryCorps – a company that animates interviews and stories. It sounds weird or cheesy, but they are very sweet and wonderful. Your story would make a great one. It sounds like you and your family have been very lucky and blessed to have had each other.
Melissa says
Awh this actually brought tears to my eyes! Such a sweet post and positive spin on a tragic event. My prayers go out to you. Also nice to hear about another pretty fantastic lady who was the oldest girl of 5 kids- im the oldest of 6 :)!
Heidi says
So sorry to hear about your family’s loss! It is so great that you have such wonderful memories with her. Your family is in my prayers.
Nancy says
I’m so sorry for you loss. You and your family will be in my prayers for comfort and peace. My own mother died a couple of years ago after being very ill for a long time, and now I have the most vivid, realistic dreams about her. And when I do, it’s just like she’s really here. I love those dreams. I hope you have wonderful dreams of your aun
YoungHouseLove says
Me too, Nancy. Here’s to some great dreams very soon.
xo,
s
nancy says
I’ve been thinking a lot lately that Clara looks just like your mom. But maybe she looks even more like your mother’s sister, your Aunt Kay. That’s especially nice, given that she was such a wonderful person. And it’s wonderful to think that she had a lot to do with you turning out to be the kind of person you are, and that you can now pass that on to Clara.
Marian Schembari says
Your aunt sounds baller. So incredibly sorry that she passed, but I’m also so glad you got to have what sounds like such a rad lady in your life.