Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Kiki says
Thanks for sharing something so personal. Recently someone close to me announced they were pregnant…only to find out three days later they had lost the baby. They were both devastated and said they wished they had waited. But, as someone wise (not me) said to them: “You let us rejoice with you, please let us mourn with you.” You let all of us strangers and interweb creepers share in the joys and the fun times, and as sad as I think everyone is to hear about your aunt, I think it’s really special and important that you shared the hard stuff so we can mourn alongside you, albeit in a kind of anonymous-internet-creeper way. Thinking of you guys!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Kiki.
xo,
s
cassie {hi sugarplum} says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. My cousin has MS and it sucks being handed that ‘sentence.’ I think Clara strongly resembles your Aunt Kay Kay!
Kim says
I am so sorry for your loss. Your post was wonderful. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Carol says
Dear Sherry,
I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy following your blog, something that I never expected to happen – ya’ know – generation gap, and all! (I turned the big 5-0 this year, and I’m not the most tech savvy person out there! I didn’t even know what a blog was a couple years ago, and now my husband and kids get a kick out of my interest level in the internet!) I’m a little bit of a design junky and most certainly don’t like to overpay for anything. For me, it’s all about creating a welcoming, comfortable, functional, beautiful home for our family and friends to enjoy, and your blog and lifestyle reflect that, too. I’ve also attempted and succeeded in more DIY projects as a result of your and other bloggers fantastic tutorials (recently upholstering a headboard, spray painting an old brass chandelier, and recovering cushions for a thrift store rattan love seat find for our beach house – we are thrilled with the results, and doing it yourself is so satisfying!), oooh, and a side note…it’s fun to notice our teen and college age kids being inspired by our DIY attitude and impressed with the results!)
The other surprising part of following your blog is just how darn attached I feel. Part of me thinks that sounds really weird, but other readers apparently feel that way, too. Of all the great design blogs, yours is my favorite, and I think it’s a combination of your talent, dedication, and down to earth quality that is so appealing…and that is a testament to you and John and your respective families. No matter the make-up of those families, the love and support you experienced throughout your life is evident. One doesn’t arrive at adulthood as confident, humble and comfortable in their own skin as the two of you without one heck of a terrific family and your aunt was an important part of that. You are now paying it forward to Clara, the younger generations in your family, and to your readers! We are experiencing some illness in our family, too, with aging parents and a precious new nephew with Down’s Syndrome who has another complicated medical issue we are praying will improve. And, I too, have a friend and an extended family member with MS.) We all experience these very sad times in life, but giving and receiving love makes it possible to feel gratitude for the blessings and express grace through the difficulties.
Thank you for your quality work and bringing enjoyment to my life! It’s reassuring to know your family has the love for each other to bring you through your sadness.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Carol. You guys have been such a blessing to me. You keep me smiling on my darkest days.
xo,
s
Michelle says
Hi Carol,
I just want to help your nephew with Down’s Syndrome. There’s a Filipina mom like me who successfully treated his autistic son with VCO or virgin coconut oil. VCO seems to be a super brain food which might help with Down’s as well. Please click this link (no, it’s not my site and I do not get anything from it, just to assure you that I don’t have any selfish intentions)
http://getbetterwellness.blogspot.com/2012/03/autism-however-is-not-hopeless.html
Your comment, by the way, is how I would have wanted to say to Sherry, too. She and John are just about the most darling and real of people I know. And I’m a Filipina, so that probably means their appeal is universal. They would make very fine friends.
Carissa says
So sorry for your loss Sherry! I feel like I know you guys so well from reading the blog for years…just wanted to send a quick note to say we’ll all here for you! What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful aunt.
Erin says
Sending hugs.
xoxo
Karen Moore says
What a beautiful post. I can only imagine how proud she is of you. God Bless!
Christine says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. Love and hugs from across the country.
Priscilla says
I am so sorry for your loss, Sherry. May the peace of God be with you and your family as you grieve.
Thank you for sharing your about your childhood. You have a wonderful family story :)
Paty says
Sorry for your loss. I also grew up with my mom’s sister, her name is Estela, and she is such a sweet little lady. My mom passed away when I was 7 so I went to live with my Grandma and my aunt (who never married or had kids of her own). I was like her daughter from that day on, and she worked her butt of to make sure I always had what I needed (I am from Uruguay and things there are hard). I have been in th U.S for ten years now, and my aunt is the most important reason for me to go visit my country. She is 70+ years old now, and I don’t want to think about the day she passes on yet. She is such an important part of my life and I miss her so much. I only get to see her every four years or so, and she is still the same sweet, happy camper that I remember making me laugh growing up. I feel very blessed for this lady in my life and felt touch by your post about your aunt. Just remember, life doesn’t when we pass away, the love continues for ever, and we will have a chance to see our love ones again some day!
Natalie says
Since following your blog for years now, I feel like I have come to know you, somehow… I am in tears for you, Sherry. I sit in NY state with a special friend on a trip that I made to help her with some very troubling times in her life. Watching the president talk just a few minutes ago on what truly matters in life is simple. Family. What makes a traditional family, anymore, anyway? The truth is, home is wherever you are, when you are with the people that you love, that love you. May you be comforted by all your special memories of your aunt (who looks JUST LIKE YOUR MOM!!) What you wrote was beautiful. I pray for comfort for your family.
Love,
Natalie from Oklahoma. <3
Paty says
Life doesn’t end I meant.
Terri says
Beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. Glad that you have such warm, fond memories and the blessing of a loving family. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
Stacy @ Stacy Eats says
I am so sorry for your loss, Sherry. You and your family are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. My husband lives with MS (as well as several other close family friends) and as you said, it really is a craptastic disease. I’m happy to see the memories you have of her and the beautiful family you all share.
Erin says
I grew up with a live in Aunt as well. Instead of saying I had extra siblings, I used to say I had an extra Mom. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sarah says
My sincerest condolences, Sherry. I am so sorry for your loss. But also, thank you for sharing your story. What amazing women you have had in your life!
My mom also battled an aggressive form of MS my entire childhood and teenage years. She passed away when I was 23 – just one month after 9/11. Although she was very ill most of my life, she lived in two fundamental ways: inexplicable joy and unconditional love. Such a simple idea, but so very difficult to achieve. I think as a mother of young toddlers now myself, those are two of the most important lessons we can teach our children.
Although these amazing women who have touched us often leave before we are ready, we are truly blessed and better to have had them in our lives. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sarah
YoungHouseLove says
I’m so sorry for your loss Sarah. And thanks again to everyone for the kind words. You have no idea how much comfort they provide.
xo,
s
Emily @ NewlyWife says
Sherry, I’m so sorry to hear that you lost a loved one. Especially to MS. Thanks for sharing this precious tribute. My two close friends (twins) were diagnosed with MS when we were in high school, and one in particular has a harder time with it. I’m glad to know that your aunt lived a full and happy life, impacting many along the way. My heart goes out to you and your family. Praying for you all!
Sally says
Sherry –
Thank you for sharing your family with us. I smile to hear about your memories of your aunt and the big role she has played in your life.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
Sally
Suezi Gurzi says
Sherry, so sorry about your loss. Praying that your precious memories help ease some of your sadness at this time. Thank you so much for sharing a special part of your life!!
Jaye says
So, so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You are truly blessed. Hold your memories close. BTW, I used to think Clara Bara favored John, but now that she is “maturing,” I totally see Momma Sherri in her face. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Chin up!
Phyllis says
So sorry for your loss! I know 3 people with MS and know some about how it works. Sounds like your aunt was a trooper and also that you had a great childhood with her in it! Thanks for sharing and reminding us to cherish our own family, however it’s made up. Family is great! Thinking of you and yours, with love.
janice phillips says
Please remember this ~
Always blessings, never loses.
It will help you and your family get through
the next difficult days. Prayers for you all.
JP
Karen says
My sincere sympathies to you on the loss of your Aunt.
Aubri says
You’re in our prayers, Petersiks… :-( Your aunt sounds like an awesome lady. My sweet grandma had MS, and it IS sucktastic. I’m sorry she went through all that, but it sounds like she was quite a tough lady.
We love you lots. This post was a lovely memorial to her.
Marilu says
Sherry, I’m so sorry about your loss. You were so blessed to have such a wonderful aunt in your life. You are so right, family is the most important thing in a person’s life. Honor them always!
Tonya says
This was a beautiful post honoring your aunt. I’m sure she’s smiling down on all of you.
Hugs and prayers.
Jennifer F says
What a nice note. How lucky you were to grow up knowing your aunt so well, and having the fun of two extra siblings! Your aunt was beautiful (you look a lot like her!) and clearly a huge part of who you are today. Love to all, and wishing you peace.
Kim D says
That was a beautiful post. My heart is with you at this difficult time. So sorry for your loss.
Sydney Fitz says
I just wanted to add my condolences to all the other kind and thoughtful comments. Your Post was written beautifully and is a very moving tribute to your aunt who sounds like an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I am so sorry for your loss.
kasey skibber says
Much love and many prayers to you and your entire family!xoxo
Terra says
I loved reading your story. I have a Great Aunt Kay who is one of the most beautiful, happiest women I know and has been fighting MS for over 30 years. I don’t see her often because we live far apart, but was fortunate to see her while visiting New Orleans on my honeymoon. Your story just gave me the warm fuzzys because it reminded me of the woman I love and cherish so much. Bless you in this time!
Sarah says
Thinking of you and your family, Sherry! This was truly beautiful, and made me tear up a bit. I hope you find peace in her memory.
Lesley says
I am a huge fan of ‘untraditional’ families; how many times have you heard people say, “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.”
I grew up in a family that many of my friends have said they thought of as the Cleavers (of Leave it to Beaver fame). Little did they know we had our own rifts and divides that have permeated to a less ‘joyous’ relationship in later years.
My own family is of the ‘untraditional’ ilk, and it is cohesive and happily dysfunctional in so many wonderful ways. Our children are both adopted, coming to us at 3 and 5, and came to us from 2 years in a foster home where they made some lifelong bonds. The kids are growing up with us, but we maintain a strong relationship with their ‘foster family’, which apparently some of our friends think are actually named Foster; from which they have a foster mother and sister, 5 foster cousins, 2 foster Aunts and a foster Uncle. We also include my husband’s 25 year old daughter (from a relationship in university) and her husband in the mix, the kids refer to them as their sister and brother-in-law. Of course there is my own family and my husband’s father. Then we do keep in touch with the kids’ birth mother through letters and picture and gift exchange.
It works for us – in fact, I can’t wait for the family tree project to come up in school… ours is going to be a mangrove!
Jodi says
I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to celebrate your aunt’s life with your family.
Nicole says
What a wonderful way to remember her..you are lucky to have such a close-knit family. I have always longed for that. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Chin-up.
Nicole
gina says
Sherry,
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Your aunt is indeed beautiful, she looks exactly like your Momma, and YOU look exactly like her.
Now I see, beauty runs in your family. and Beautiful little Clara, she will read this, and she will know through you, just what a wonderful family she is a part of.
Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
-gina
Meg says
Sherry, I’m so sorry about your aunt. it’s great you shared so many happy memories.
Alyssa says
I’m so sorry Sherry, but you’re right, you were so blessed to have the family that you did. Basically two mamas? Oh the guidance! This post preserves your memories of you aunt for you and your family and I’m sure all of whom will appreciate it. After reading your blog religiously for the last three years, I don’t feel weird telling an internet blogger I’ve never met that you and you family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Teri says
So sorry for your loss Sherry, from your beautiful post, it sounds like your aunt was a wonderful, loving woman. How blessed you were to have her and she you.
Allison says
Such a sweet post Sherry. What a loving tribute to your Aunt. ::Sniffle::
Tiffany T. says
I feel like somehow, even through this medium, her character has touched complete strangers; thank you and Kay Kay for just being yourselves, it means so much more than you may know.
Karen says
What a lovely tribute to your aunt. I am so sorry for your loss. I love how you have remembered and focused on the good, especially so Clara can later appreciate her as well.
Best to you and your family.
Chloe says
I’m so sorry to hear about your aunt. She sounds like an incredible woman. My mum was raised in a very similar situation as the eldest girl with her two half brothers and two cousins. I love the close bond that the entire family has as a result of their upbringing.
Sara says
So sorry for your loss, Sherry. My uncle has MS and It’s been awful watching him as it has slowly taken his life. It is truly a craptastic disease. We do the MS Walk every year in Richmond in his honor.
Jyl says
Sending love and prayers your way, Sherry.
Andy says
Sherry, I’m so sorry and I’m here, praying for you and your family.
Xo.
Selena says
Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss but oh, what wonderful memories you have of your aunt! I know you’ll always enjoy passing these along to Clara. I wish you and your family peace and comfort in the coming days.
Tamsyn says
Hugs Sherry, your Aunt sounds like an amazing woman xx
Ana says
My condolences to you and your family, Sherry. My best friend was diagnosed with MS while we were living together the year after college. That was 11 years ago. It hurts to think about what she may have to go through because of this nasty disease. We’re holding out for a cure every day.
Tamsyn says
Thank you also for adding to the awareness of MS. I’ve just recently been diagnosed with it and after going back and reading all of the comments on this post it is so amazing to see how much support and understanding is out there. People like your Aunt, who choose to go on living life to the best of their ability are such an inspiration.
My husband and I have a toddler and have decided that in spite of my diagnosis that we are going to continue our lives as normally as possible. We are 23 weeks pregnant with our second baby and I’m so incredibly grateful to be living in this time of incredible medical advances.
Thanks again for sharing Sherry. As I said in my previous comment your Aunt sounded like a beautiful and amazing woman.
YoungHouseLove says
You’re an inspiration Tamsyn! Sending you lots of love.
xo,
s