Over the years of jabbering on about house stuff I occasionally get questions about my family. How many siblings I have, how I grew up, etc. I always say it was a somewhat un-traditional childhood… in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who split up when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born) so we just had two houses and bounced happily between them.
I remember when a kid at school once teased me for having divorced parents and I put the “I have two houses and you only have one and I get double the holiday presents” spin on it. Looking back, it was a moment of pure genius. Haha. No more teasing.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, who was born after my dad married my step mom Nina a while later (he was 11 years younger than me). You might remember him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
But I always say I’m the oldest of five – and the only girl. So where do the other two fit in? Well, my Aunt Kay Kay (as we lovingly call my mom’s sister) and her two sons named David and Darius actually moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (my brother was 3 and I was 6). My mom is one of seven children, and while many of my aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her kids used to live in Maryland, so we didn’t get to see our cousins very often, who were 2 and 4 at the time when they moved in… which was just one of about a million reasons we were SO excited for them to move in with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with a craptastic disease called Multiple Sclerosis, so raising all four of us under one roof with my mom was a way that my mom could lend a hand to my aunt and also a way that my aunt could help us. My mom’s an attorney, and back in those days she was working her buns off to make partner at her firm, so she often got home late. So it was great to come home to my aunt after school, and on most nights she cooked us dinner and helped us with our homework. It was kind of a crazy house with four kids so close in age (four kids born within five years), but growing up with them honestly made me who I am today. Here’s my Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. Isn’t she beautiful?
My aunt was always laughing. She was “the nice one” while I, being the oldest of all the boys, proudly wore my title as “the bossy one.” My brother was “the smart one,” my cousin Darius was “the funny one,” my cousin David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So you can guess that when it came down to asking an adult if we could do something… well, we’d usually ask my aunt before my mom.
It was an odd little madhouse, but it was our madhouse and we loved it. So when people ask me how many siblings I have, I usually just say that I’m the oldest of five, and the only girl. But for those who have time for more details, I explain that my total includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up under one roof with us like they were our brothers. We had all sorts of adventures over the years – from building forts in the woods to epic sock fights (don’t ask) and karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We kicked some booty that day.
My aunt battled with her multiple sclerosis like a champ. Always smiling and making jokes. Always working hard to stay mobile. First she walked with a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, and for the last ten years or so she has been bedridden. Didn’t stop her from smiling (most notably when we stuck Burger or Clara in her bed – that always made her giggle). Strongest, bravest and sweetest woman I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was a very very sad day. So although this might sound like a bummer of a post, I wrote it because I always wanted to remember how amazing and life-changing it was to grow up with such an awesome lady in my life. And I want Clara to be able to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay someday. She could light up a room then, and thinking about her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us all gathered around the breakfast table fills me with nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with some regular DIY-related fare. In the meantime, feel free to tell/call/text/email/skype the ones you love. Family is such a blessing. And I’m so thankful for the one I got.
Susan (Between Naps on the Porch) says
I’m so sorry to read about the passing of this very special lady. This was a beautiful tribute to her Sherry.
XO
Susan
Jen says
So sorry to hear your aunt passed away. My mother was diagnosed almost 30 years ago with MS, and has been “lucky” so far. You should totally help out or participate with MS Society Walks/Rides/etc. if you have the time! I’ve done one of the MS Challenge Walks 8 times now, and it’s an AMAZING experience!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh yes, I’ve done those as a kid with my brothers – and John and I have done a few as adults as well! So much fun!
xo,
s
Destiny says
This is just the lovliest tribute to your Aunt Kay Kay and your wonderfully untraditional family. I trust that your faith, and knowing that you are loved by so many is a comfort to you during this season of loss and grief. Blessings on you, Destiny
Casey says
Just catching up from last week. I’m sorry about your aunt, Sherry. xo
Jen says
You are in my thoughts and prayers Sherry. Such a heart warming story, yet what an awful disease. Your aunt is a lovely lady and it sounds like you were raised with an abundance of love. Hugs to you all.
xo,
Jen
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Jen. You guys are all so sweet. The kind words mean more than you know!
xo,
s
Chrissy says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
My mom has MS, so I know first hand just how craptastic that disease can be. But I also understand what a beautiful and strong woman your Aunt must have been! She sounds a lot like my mom and their strength and beauty is so inspirational! :)
Carla says
It’s been a few days since I read your beautiful tribute to your aunt and family. I just wanted you to know you’ve been in my thoughts and prayers every day since. I don’t know when your aunt’s funeral or memorial service is (or was). But my hope is that it is/was a time for you and your family to connect with tears, laughter, stories, photographs, hugs, food, music and more to mourn and to honor Aunt Kay Kay’s remarkable life and her imprint on each of you. Death does not end a relationship, it changes it to one of memory. Peace to you and to her memory.
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks so much Carla. You’re so sweet and it means a lot.
xo,
s
Diana says
Dear Sherry,
I’ve been away, with no internet, for the last week, and now I’m catching up on everything. I’m so, so sorry. I know how it feels, and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. To lose love, and to know there’s no relief for the missing feeling – the saddest thing i’ve ever felt. I’m sorry for you, Dan, Darius and David, for your mama and her siblings, but mostly, foryour KayKay. Life is like this, it gives and than it takes back. I’m so, so sorry! Keep the nostalgic smile when thinking of her, and keep all the memories, it is what it makes us who we are! All the love in the world, Diana from Romania
robyn says
This year my mother died from MS related symptoms. The day before my mother’s death my younger sister of two years passed from a very aggressive form of brain cancer. All very “craptastic” as you say. Currently my other sister is in hospice with another rare form of cancer. I do not share to be a debbie downer, but to encourage. What I tell those who ask is that I don’t know how, but I do know that we will be okay. I realized that I am stronger than I knew I was, and that’s kind of a cool epiphany. You are much younger than I, but I find encouragement from your youth and enthusiasm. I tell my husband that I want to be like you two when we get younger! Be well, be happy, and keep up the decorating inspiration.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Robyn I’m so sorry for your loss but so inspired by your strength. Thanks for the encouraging words.
xo,
s
Felicity @ ourlittlebeehive says
I’m so sorry for your loss. xoxo
Jen Fernandez says
Sherry, this was a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss. My husband had an uncle who had MS. When I first met his uncle we were still dating and his uncle was already in a wheelchair. He was with us for another two years after that. We live in NJ but would drive up a number of times to Toronto, Ontario (where he lived) just to see him while he was bedridden. Luckily, our eldest child was able to meet him before he passed. That was almost 18 years ago. We made many memories and cherished those moments. He will always be with us. Your Aunt Kay Kay sounds like an amazing woman and you have so many fond memories of her. Her memory will continue to live on in you.
xo,
Jen
Candy from Candied Fabrics says
What a wonderful post about a wonderful woman! My condolences to your whole family.
KatelynMade says
Oh I’m so sorry about your loss. It took me back a bit. My own mother has been struggling with MS for the last 30 years. She’s been wheelchair-bound for the last 10 or so. It’s a really crappy disease. Beautifully written post and memories however. My condolences again.
Vicki says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sherry. I lost my favorite aunt last year to Lupus, another horrible, long, debilitating disease. She was mostly bedridden for the last 10 years, but she rarely complained about anything. She always had a smile when I’d visit her and always sounded chipper on the phone. Her death was the saddest thing, but I try to remember her light and her joy when I feel sad. I hope you have the time you need to mourn and a memory full of happiness.
Shreya says
What a beautiful post, I have tears in my eyes right now.
Your aunt was beautiful inside and out and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Pati says
I am so sorry for your loss Sherry. Your aunt was such a strong woman.
This post really hit close to home to me. Literally, since my mother is struggling with MS too for about 10 years now, spending most of her days in bed with her little tablet PC, playing Draw Something with me. I hope she will hang on long enough to have a joy of a grandchild beside her.
Miranda says
So sorry for your loss. MS is certainly craptastic. Thanks for sharing a bit about your aunt with all of us. She sounds like she was an amazing woman with a bright spirit!
Michelle says
My mom passed away this month from end stage MS complications. I am only a couple years older than you. I can’t tell you how much your post and the comments have helped me over the last several weeks.
I am still praying peace for your family.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Michelle, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking about you and your family. So glad the kind comments have helped you as well. They were so touching and helpful for me. Still are on those hard days!
xo,
s
Eleanor@SavingOurWay says
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Aunt. MS is a super craptastic disease, for sure. Seven years ago, this month, we lost my MIL to MS. She progressed like your Aunt over her 25+ year battle, spending the last 10 years in a wheel chair & then bedridden. She fought like a champ & always had a smile & was so happy to see you – despite her daily battles & struggles. We miss her dearly & I think of her often. Sending you thoughts & prayers.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Eleanor, I’m so sorry for your loss.
xo,
s
joepy says
So sorry for your loss, but so love memories for you. It is a beautiful post.
Hugs.