Thanks for the encouragement from this morning’s post to choke out my rambling September 11th story guys. As hard as it is to tell, I feel like it’s something I’ll want to look back on – especially when Clara’s older and I’m trying to explain the enormity of that day. It was a terrible day, but such a life-changing one too, and it definitely shaped who I am. And as much as I love having thousands of DIY posts in our archives, sometimes it’s those rare personal posts (like this one or this one or this one) that make me the happiest that I dumped all the jumbled words out of my head and onto the keyboard.
I’ve debated whether or not to write this for six years now, every time this anniversary rolls around. I was a college sophomore living in New York City on September 11th, but the experience of being there and watching everything happen right in front of my eyes is still something I haven’t quite wrapped my head around. So I’ve stayed mum on the topic for all of the years we’ve been blogging. I don’t know what makes this year any different, but I felt like I was ready this time. It’s crazy how something that happened 12 years ago can feel so distant, but when I start talking/typing about it, I remember every sound and smell and sight and it floods back like it was yesterday. Early that morning I had been in Grand Central working on a show house for Country Home magazine (my best friend and I interned there during the morning we didn’t have classes, just lending a hand to unwrap accessories so the rooms could be styled).
I remember hearing from our boss right when we got there that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, but it sounded like it was minor (like some small plane with the wrong coordinates made a mistake). Nothing like “terrorism” or “act of war” was mentioned, so we shrugged and kept unpacking boxes while a few people called relatives who worked in the tower, just to check on them. It sounded like only a few floors were affected, which had us worried for those people but no one was really freaking out. Then a little while later we heard the second tower was hit. The only way I can describe it was immediate panic. Grand Central was evacuated within minutes.
There were guards with guns and people rushing us out and they just sort of explained that this was another “landmark” in NYC, so it wasn’t safe to be here because there were fears that other places in the city were going to be targeted. Thank God my best friend was there with me. I completely panicked and had no idea where to go or what to do. At this point the entire subway system had been shut down (again, because it was a “target” so the city wanted to evacuate any place they thought could be hit next) so we all spilled out into the street in front of Grand Central and my best friend and I just walked towards Penn Station, which is where the train we took to our apartment in Bayside, Queens would be (assuming those were still running).
When we got there we learned it wasn’t. So we just walked around aimlessly and found ourselves sitting on the steps of the New York Public Library. We were terrified that it was another target (should we sit here? should we keep walking around?). I think we were in a state of shock, so we just sat down on the steps anyway. People were rushing by and there were crazy things just laying in the street and on the sidewalk, as if someone abandoned them half-way through running. A man’s shoe. Just one of them. An open briefcase with papers splayed out all around it. Nobody’s cell phones were working, which was especially scary for those trying to reach us (like our parents). I remember saying “we should just conserve our battery and our energy and sit here.” Then people started pointing at the smoldering towers, which we had a clear view of from the library steps (we could see them smoking in the distance since they were such a huge part of the NYC skyline). A large cloud of dust flew up from the first tower and someone shouted “It was hit again!” and someone else said “They’re bombing it!” and the tower fell right in front of us. It just imploded on itself with a giant cloud of dust flying up into the air.
Of course we didn’t know at the time that the heat and damage sustained by the initial impact of the plane had caused the tower to fall, so it felt like a very real possibility that the tower had been hit again, causing it to collapse. I remember someone screaming “we’re at war!” and someone else just closing their eyes and raising their hands and saying the Lord’s prayer over and over again.
At that point we ran. Just sort of scattered like ants and everyone was crying and there was dust billowing up the streets, even though the tower had fallen over three miles away from us. There were police officers and firemen just covered in ash. They were entirely gray with white eyes and white teeth. There were people bleeding who had been close enough to be hurt by debris who were clearly running on foot from downtown since no public transportation was available anymore.
We eventually ended up in the first floor of a hotel in midtown, just hiding in the foyer. There was a TV on with people gathered around and that’s when we saw the second tower fall. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Nobody wanted to talk or move. I think total shock is the perfect description. And fear. We were literally frozen in fear. At some point the hotel offered to let people up into some vacant rooms but we didn’t want to go upstairs even if it was just a level or two up. We had just seen two skyscrapers collapse. Nobody wanted to be anywhere but on the ground floor. So we could run.
Somehow late that night we got back to our apartment in Bayside, Queens. Some of the trains had started running and we got some spotty cell service to reassure family we were okay. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves, and kept finding ourselves drawn to the now completely changed skyline outside, so we went out on the tiny old balcony of our apartment and that’s when the smell hit us. Like something burning, but also rancid. I don’t know if I was stupid or in denial or what, but I asked my best friend “do you think that smell is the burned metal from the building?” and then we looked at each other and realized that the building wasn’t the only thing burning. And we cried.
What haunts me the most were the thousands of missing person posters that were plastered everywhere in the days and weeks afterwards. Fences and scaffolding and subway walls were covered in faces of everyone who was lost – photos of dads smiling with their children. Women hugging their dogs. Christmas cards with the missing person’s face circled with an arrow. It was gut-wrenching. I remember telling my friend Lindsay that I had a dream about a man in a suit and the whole time I was thinking “how do I know him?!” and in the morning I realized he was one of the faces on the fence near my apartment.
A friend of mine’s dad actually got out of the first tower and was safe on the ground when his boss told him they were cleared to go back in for their wallets and belongings, so he went back in and the tower fell, killing him. I just remember crying with her and saying how unfair it was over and over again. It felt even more cruel that he had been outside and then ended up back in there just as it fell. Stories like that seem all too familiar now, especially those of the policemen and fireflighters who ran in just as the towers crumbled. At the time I think we were half devastated and half numb. It felt like too much to process all at one time.
But one amazing thing about being in New York during that time was the love and support. It sounds crazy, but we were all family in that moment of grief. We all wanted everyone to be okay, and we wanted to rebuild and come back stronger. For the weeks following September 11th we’d thank the dusty firemen that we saw on the subway with tears in our eyes and buy drinks for the workers who were downtown digging through the rubble for survivors. It sort of was like a war that we all had lived through together, and we were all on the same side. It was us against the bad guys, and we were stubborn New Yorkers – there’s no way we were going to just lie down and let them win.
My sophomore year of college had only recently started when it happened and classes resumed about a week later, once the subways were up and running again. A lot of my classes were emptier though. That year I’d say about 30% of my friends left the city. September 11th changed everything and some just couldn’t stomach the idea of being there any longer. I completely understood, but nothing in me ever even whispered “leave.” New York City was my home, and I was staying. I think for the people who stayed, it felt like we grew stronger. More bonded. We looked at each other on the subway and on the streets and we all sort of silently encouraged each other. We’d never forget that day, but we weren’t going anywhere.
I lived there for four more years. I finished school. I got a job at an advertising agency right in midtown, less than a block away from Grand Central – the place where my world got turned upside down a few years earlier. It was at that agency that I met John and we started dating. In fact he took this picture of me and my best friend about a month before he and I moved to Virginia to start a life together.
So while I’m a Richmond gal now, I’ll always be a New Yorker at heart. NYC forever, baby.
Amber V. says
There really is no place in the world like New York City, and in some ways New Yorkers seemed uniquely equipped to cope with such chaos and horror.
My heart breaks for your friend and her family. For most of us in Richmond, 9/11 was only a national tragedy and I can’t imagine compounding that with such a deeply personal and hugely significant loss.
Thanks for sharing your story. So sad to think of all of the people around the world that live in environments where that kind of threat is persistent.
Amanda says
This brought tears to my eyes. You are very strong to share your story of this with us.
Lauren says
It must have been so hard for you to write, but thank you. You really encapsulated that feeling about 9/11 and (for Brits like me) 7/7, that everything changed on that day. It never leaves you, that feeling of absolute horror and shock still. I’ll never forget watching a friend desperately trying to call her brother who was at WTC that day (thank God he survived). I still look at the photos of the towers burning and almost can’t believe what I’m seeing.
I look at my beautiful 2 year old and 6 month old, and wonder how on earth I can explain what those evil people did and how those poor people suffered. I’m just glad that there are so many stories of brave, kind, good people from those days. There is more good than bad in this world and we have to talk about that, because that’s what matters.
(Sorry for the long comment, it’s an emotional day).
S says
Thank you for your post. From the other side of the world in Tasmania, I remember being up late with my Dad and the TV program being interrupted with pictures. Of seeing the second plane hit, and the towers collapse. It felt so surreal. The news readers being so visibly upset and confused. While we will never fully comprehend how life changed on that day I recognise strongly in your writing that sense of community and a gaining of strength in the aftermath. We felt that in Tasmania when a lone gunman committed the biggest mass murder the world had seen on innocent men, women and children in Port Arthur. It was an event that affected everyone in our state and throughout the rest of Australia. I remember the fear, the chaos and confusion, the intense grief. It changed how we interacted with each other as a community and that has remained even so many years after.
Marie says
Beautiful
Meghan B. says
Thanks for sharing, Sherry.
Emma says
I was 8 when it happened, so it’s never really hit me as hard as it does others, and when you’re 8, the world seems so big and NYC is so far away. Watching it on TV was like watching a movie- hard to believe it’s true, until you hear so many first hand stories from people who saw it happen.
Thanks for gathering the courage to tell your story so that others, like me, can really understand.
Melissa L. says
I think your observation of the camaraderie inspired by 9-11 is right on the money. We visited NYC a few months after 9-11 to attend some plays and support the city since so many people were afraid to visit. People were amazing. They’d stop and help us when we were struggling with a map, they gave us directions, suggestions for dinner, etc.–in general just a wonderful experience. Of course, over time things have slipped back to the usual busy and sometimes rude place NYC usually is, but for the first year or so there was a really unique feel to the city. If anyone has the opportunity to visit the 911 memorial they should do it. When we went, the tour was conducted by a fireman who survived 9-11 while most of his unit died. We were all in tears.
Theresa says
This is one NJ girl echoing the sentiment that we will never forget, especially all those wonderful lives lost that day. My nephew’s friend lost his father, my co-worker lost his brother and my niece lost a college friend — one in the Pentagon, one in WTC 2 and one on a plane that crashed. God Bless America today and always.
Ash says
You have me in tears. I was on the opposite side of the country, and can’t, couldn’t even then, begin to comprehend what it was like for those who lived through it. You are so brave to share it with us – thank you.
Laurie says
Thank you for sharing. It’s tough to read and even think about. I was living in LA at the time and we were fairly certain we would be a target too. The sound of the LA sky with no air traffic was eerie.
It changed everything for me.
Venessa says
Thank you.
Briel K. says
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It’s so hard to imagine experiencing something so terrifying like that.
I heard about the attacks before I left for college that day or maybe it was on the radio on the way there. I remember watching it on tv in one of my classes at Sacramento State and then classes were cancelled for the day and eventually the campus was closed. Crazy to believe it has been 12 years since then.
Geertrude says
Tears in my eyes…
I remember my husband calling from work and telling me to switch on the tv. I tuned in when the second tower was hit and just couldn’t believe it was real. We’re on the other side of the ocean (Europe, the Netherlands) but I remember feeling that the world changed that day. Still, it wasn’t personal to me and despite the many heartbreaking things I’ve seen, read and heard after that I could hardly imagine how it must have been to be so close to it, to the city. Your words made me feel it stronger than I ever have.
(and now I’m kind of frustrated, since I feel I can’t accurately express what I mean in English – I hope you understand)
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Geertrude, you expressed it perfectly. I know exactly what you mean.
xo
s
Catherine Lajoie says
Thank you for sharing Sherry – these stories are so hard to write, even 12 years later, but they are so important – so that we can share and always remember – I, too, struggle with how I will explain this to our baby when she is a young girl and asking questions about that day. Even now, it’s nearly impossible to read anything about that day and not cry, but I think the essence of it all (which you completely captured), is that all those that were affected by the events of that day, persevered, banded together and made a promise to never forget.
Jen says
I try really hard to focus on how many acts of kindness, bravery and selflessness that people all over the US did in the days and months afterwards.
Katie says
Thank you for sharing. I can only imagine how emotional it must have been writing this.
Michele says
How beautiful and touching. Even those of us who have never been to NYC will never forget.
Nicole says
Hi Sherry,
Just wanted to add to the many comments already posted. This was incredibly moving. Thank you for finally taking the time and courage to write this. I’m sure it was tough, but like you mentioned I’m sure it will help you grieve.
Aly says
Thank you. I was also a sophomore in nyc, from out of town, alone with my roommate, and I also haven’t talked about it, hardly at all, since it happened. This made me cry, because our experiences were so similar. I also have a daughter, and also want to tell her how important it was, and how the city felt afterward, when she’s older. Thank you for sharing.
Kate says
This post had me in tears. Thank you for sharing. Reading this had me reliving a lot of the same feelings I had on that day. I am the same age and was getting ready to go to class. It was the most beautiful morning…crystal clear and blue skies. I never watched the news in the morning, but decided to put it on while I got ready. I saw the second plane hit and the dread and fear I felt was like nothing I have ever experienced. I spent the rest of the day glued to the tv…crying with friends, trying to locate family and friends. It was a day that changed who I am. It changed America. My thoughts are with those who lost their loved ones on that day.
Kristin says
Thank you so much for this beautiful post. During 9/11 I was in high school living on Long Island and my father was in the NYPD. It was so very scary and the following weeks were as well as my father seemed to spend all day at work everyday volunteering at ground zero after his shift ended. You move on but you never forget. Your post brought up a lot of emotions associated with this tragic day but I am grateful for you posting it.
Ginger says
This made me sit here and cry like a baby. Our country can never forget that day or the people who sadly lost their lives or loved ones. And all the heroes. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Ginger
Gina says
You were lucky. A lot of people lost a lot more.
Anne says
I cannot imagine your experience. Thank you so much for sharing. I live in Illinois and had just landed in London for extended backpacking that day. Again, thank you for sharing.
Margaret Critz says
Sherry,
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I find it difficult to talk about and I wasn’t living in NYC, I can’t imagine what you went through. I was living in Nashville at the time and learned about the attacks while at work. When I got home that night, my parents called me from Arkansas to check on me and when my mom said: “Dad needs to tell you something”, my heart sank. As it turned out a sweet girl that I grew up with and whose sister I am still close to was a flight attendant on the 1st plane that struck the towers. Devastating is an understatement. I have seen her family struggle with their grief and speak out on behalf of all the victims for these 12 long years and it is unspeakably sad. I don’t know if you are able to watch programs about 9/11. Many people can’t and I totally understand why. This segment is about that girl, Sara Low and her AA wings. It’s a very touching and poignant story and I like to share it when I can because I believe it is important. http://www.history.com/videos/remembering-911-karyns-wings#remembering-911-karyns-wings (don’t know if links copy ok into comments)! Sorry to run on so, but I really appreciate your candor and your story. Hearing others experiences helps us to remember that we are all,in fact, united. Never Forget. Thank you. Margaret
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Margaret, that is so devastating. I can’t even imagine. Thanks for sharing the link.
xo
s
Margaret Critz says
And I’m mortified that I misspelled your name! I had “sharing” on my mind! Sorry Sherry!
YoungHouseLove says
No worries! I don’t even notice that – there are so many different ways to spell my name I’m blind to it!
xo
s
Cecelia says
That video is absolutely beautiful, so touching.
Shelley @ Green Eggs and Hamlet says
Margaret, thank you for sharing that link. What an incredibly sad story of Sarah but what a wonderful tribute her family gave her with her friend’s wings.
Matt says
So moving. Thanks for sharing. I hope that writing it and posting it has helped you heal a little bit more.
I lived in Boston at that time (East Boston specifically), right by the airport where the planes left from. It was the worst train ride home to have to go back to that area.
Caitie says
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I was in 6th grade and while I lived in Georgia, I’ll never forget how terrified I was seeing it all happen on TV. I can’t imagine experiencing it right in front of my eyes. You are so brave & I hope telling your story helps you heal- it brought tears to my eyes. Big hugs!
MJ of Lucky 7 Design says
So glad you shared this post. I live in NJ less than 30 mins from NYC…my brother in law was working in NYC at the time and on 9/11. It was horrifying to watch on the television as a preschool teacher, but also worse that we could not reach him at all.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, and for staying in NYC to bond with all of us in the tri-state area. I too plan of moving South with my family but will always be a Jersey Girl.
Today I chose not to post anything on my blog or business fb but the light that shines up to the heavens in the spot of the towers.
So glad that I read this post today…thank for keeping me in the moment.
MJ
Lynne says
Hugs to you, Sherry, and thank you for sharing. Here in Canada, our hearts were breaking along with yours at that time and still do at the thought of it.
MMingo says
Sometimes it helps to heal, getting it all out on “paper”. It’s a day no one will ever forget. A day where time stood still. I was far, far away working in a resort up in the mountains in Alberta, Canada when my boyfriend at the time left for work and called me minutes later to turn on the TV. I sat there glued to it for hours until I headed in for my evening shift. We had many American tourists at the hotel and we all just sat there looking at the TV. I remember them trying to make calls to loved ones they had back in NYC. It was so sad, we just stood there crying, scared, what did this mean for us up in our little “safe” mountain, Canadian town? How would our world change? I remember being so worried for my brother who worked downtown Toronto right next to the US embassy and they evacuated everyone in that area. It was scary for us even up here.
The memories will live on. Thank you for sharing your experience *hugs*
Laura says
Thank you for sharing this. How shameful to admit that I needed a reminder.
Tara says
That was sad and beautiful and heartbreaking. Saying thank you to you for writing that seems off, but it gave a shot into the devastation and pain that would still be marked each year by this day. As much as yes, I love your DIY posts, this was truly touching and sobering.
Allison Brown says
Thank you so much for sharing!!
prue says
Thanks for sharing. I think then, and now, though certainly to a lesser degree, the world’s hearts flew out to you.
I also remember the day most vividly: I was at the hairdresser’s (in Germany, where I am from and live), chattering away, while the radio was on in the background. We didn’t listen. But on my way home I listened to the 3 o’clock news (=9am in NYC) and heard that a plane had crashed into the WTC. I thought it was a prank and was shocked how anyone could think of something that tasteless. I couldn’t believe it was a prank, but I couldn’t believe it was true, either.
When I came home a couple of minutes later, I immediately switched on CNN. Meanwhile, the second plane had hit a tower. I called a friend (and fellow English teacher) and told her she had to switch on the TV. And then we watched what happened, silently, for hours, me sitting on the coffee table because that was where I landed when I grabbed the remote control.
So be assured, even those outside the US and with little (personal) connection there remember and stand with you, though only metaphorically.
Megan says
I am so glad you were able to share this. It may have been 12 years ago, but it’s still so moving to see a new telling of the events. Thank you for figuring out a way to share this and I hope it truly has been a way to lighten your heart.
Nathan in KC says
Thanks for sharing. I know it wasn’t easy, but this is what helps us and future generations never forget what happened on that day. Long live the Red, White, and Blue!
Jill says
Great but sad story.
I worked in Virginia but our offices in Manhattan we greatly impacted. Clients lost, employee who decided to take a later train-she would have been at the coffee shop I think on the 40th floor coming from NJ.
We had never been to NYC, but Easter weekend 2002 we were there. The posters still up, the guards at Penn and Grand Central.
Our loss was at the Pentagon but 10 years of emotional unhealthy from habits following the attacks.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Jen says
Thank you so much for sharing this. For most of us, this was only viewed through a televison screen. Ive never heard such a personal experience from the day so I give you a HUGE thank you hug for putting this out there. You are super brave! Even living in Canada, I can say that this still stays with me and I too can remember every moment of that day it feels like. Thank you so much Sherry!
Christine Trebendis says
Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
Cecelia says
This was absolutely beautiful. I live in Richmond but since a child have been going to NY, it’s my favorite place on earth. My daughter has lived there for the past 5 years, gives us even more excuses to go up! I just could not fathom what it was like to be there in the midst of this awful day. I stayed at the Embassy Suites right across the street from Ground Zero in December 2012. The feeling just walking around that area was just completely overwhelming and again I just could not imagine, as hard as I tried, how horrific it all was. This post has made me understand a little better what someone on the street saw and felt, how devastating it was, even as you said, to be miles away from it, it was all just so close. I’m glad you were able to put this on paper. My heart goes out to you for being in the midst of it all. It was so very interesting to me too what a kinder and gentler city it had become in 2012. There was just a different feel in the air, a different mind set. Lots of people have a very harsh view of NY, they are mostly people who have never been there and experienced what an amazing place it is. My heart always aches for all the lives lost on this horrific day. I’m so glad you and your friend were safe and sorry for what you had to witness and experience. Thanks again for such a wonderful post.
Alexandra @ Heart Love Weddings says
I loved reading this (even though it made me cry) on a day full of sadness and terror. It was inspirational and truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. <3
Jessica says
Thank you for sharing this. As a fellow NYer, I know we all have our stories and memories of that day, but I’ll never tire of hearing any of them. I hope typing yours out today helped you heal.
Steph Nelson says
Thanks for sharing your story Sher! They say that there is starting to be a generation that knows nothing of Sept 11th and the impact it made on people. Sort of like Pearl Harbor to us. We know it was terrible but we don’t know the immediate emotion that it inspired when it happened. Your story brought tears to my eyes because it made ME remember how I was feeling that day.
Heather Sambrook says
Thank you for sharing that, Sherry. I can’t imagine how scared you must have been in those moments and how brave you are now for sharing your story. We were all touched and changed by that day but some of us were affected even more than others. I imagine you sharing your story has helped you and many others who have read it. Bless you and we will never forget.
Kate says
Thank you for sharing your story
Hope Connell says
Thank you for blessing us all with this story, Sherry. When I remember the fear and confusion we felt in a small town in Illinois, I can’t even imagine the infinitely more potent fear and confusion you and other New Yorkers experienced that day.
We could remember 9/11 by watching news footage, but it is the personal stories of real lives that evoke both the true terror and the indefatigable resilience of New Yorkers, of Americans, and of the human race. Thank you for your courage, then and now.
Melissa says
<3
Ashley G. says
I was ten years old on September 11, 2001. I was sitting in my 5th grade class, taking a math test when our teacher gasped loudly and scrambled to turn the radio off- she let us listen to it if we were well behaved. I didn’t catch what made her so upset and continued taking my test. I watched as my classroom got emptier and emptier, until finally it was just myself and another little girl, wondering what happened. A few classes were merged by the end of the day and we got to watch movies all afternoon. I walked home and was SO MAD that my mom was already home- she got off work early and didn’t even come get me from school!
She was sitting on the couch glued to the tv, just sobbing. I asked what was wrong and she pointed to the tv, unable to speak. All I saw was a big fire and a lot of smoke. I was so confused. I sat with her and watched tv for hours that night, rubbing her back and trying to make her feel better. The next day I asked if the world was ending. She told me no, but that bad things happen, and they will probably always happen, unfortunately. She explained that bad people wanted to hurt innocent people sometimes. I had night terrors about being in the towers, even though I had never even been to New York, and also had nightmares about being in the planes and catching on fire and crashing into the towers. A month later I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Knowing that something terrible may happen, at seemingly any time at all, haunts me still today. I wasn’t anywhere near the towers, I didn’t have any friends or family members lost that day, and no one that I know of was hurt or even really affected by it, but it still touched me in a way I didn’t think was possible.
We can never forget what happened and how many countless lives were lost and touched that day due to blind hate. We need to remember that although there is bad, there is such a great amount of good in the world.
Thank you, Sherry, so much for your story. I’m glad you are safe!
Allison says
Thank you for sharing this. I was doing a study abroad in England on September 11th. We were horror struck, and it was a terrible experience being so far from home when something like that happens. Fast forward to the 10th anniversary of this day when I would give birth to our baby boy. I so prayed he wouldn’t be born on this day, even silently trying to strike a deal for a long labor if he would just be born on the 12th. I realize that was silly, and it gives us a reason to celebrate and reflect on this day now.
Line says
Even 12 years after, I’m in tears reading your story.
I was only 21 and living here in Denmark so many thousand of miles away, but this day changes us all. My coworker and I talked today about how much that day changed us all.
It’s a day I almost remember better than the birth of my children. That scares me.
I will never be able not feel sad on this day. Never.
Brenda says
Thank you so much for sharing this, Sherry. I was a sophomore in high school in Wisconsin, and I just remember how no place felt safe anymore. And realizing that 9/11 would be my generation’s JFK shooting (my mom was in high school when that happened). Today I’ve been thinking about my dad who works in NYC and a friend who just moved there a few weeks ago.