Thanks for the encouragement from this morning’s post to choke out my rambling September 11th story guys. As hard as it is to tell, I feel like it’s something I’ll want to look back on – especially when Clara’s older and I’m trying to explain the enormity of that day. It was a terrible day, but such a life-changing one too, and it definitely shaped who I am. And as much as I love having thousands of DIY posts in our archives, sometimes it’s those rare personal posts (like this one or this one or this one) that make me the happiest that I dumped all the jumbled words out of my head and onto the keyboard.
I’ve debated whether or not to write this for six years now, every time this anniversary rolls around. I was a college sophomore living in New York City on September 11th, but the experience of being there and watching everything happen right in front of my eyes is still something I haven’t quite wrapped my head around. So I’ve stayed mum on the topic for all of the years we’ve been blogging. I don’t know what makes this year any different, but I felt like I was ready this time. It’s crazy how something that happened 12 years ago can feel so distant, but when I start talking/typing about it, I remember every sound and smell and sight and it floods back like it was yesterday. Early that morning I had been in Grand Central working on a show house for Country Home magazine (my best friend and I interned there during the morning we didn’t have classes, just lending a hand to unwrap accessories so the rooms could be styled).
I remember hearing from our boss right when we got there that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, but it sounded like it was minor (like some small plane with the wrong coordinates made a mistake). Nothing like “terrorism” or “act of war” was mentioned, so we shrugged and kept unpacking boxes while a few people called relatives who worked in the tower, just to check on them. It sounded like only a few floors were affected, which had us worried for those people but no one was really freaking out. Then a little while later we heard the second tower was hit. The only way I can describe it was immediate panic. Grand Central was evacuated within minutes.
There were guards with guns and people rushing us out and they just sort of explained that this was another “landmark” in NYC, so it wasn’t safe to be here because there were fears that other places in the city were going to be targeted. Thank God my best friend was there with me. I completely panicked and had no idea where to go or what to do. At this point the entire subway system had been shut down (again, because it was a “target” so the city wanted to evacuate any place they thought could be hit next) so we all spilled out into the street in front of Grand Central and my best friend and I just walked towards Penn Station, which is where the train we took to our apartment in Bayside, Queens would be (assuming those were still running).
When we got there we learned it wasn’t. So we just walked around aimlessly and found ourselves sitting on the steps of the New York Public Library. We were terrified that it was another target (should we sit here? should we keep walking around?). I think we were in a state of shock, so we just sat down on the steps anyway. People were rushing by and there were crazy things just laying in the street and on the sidewalk, as if someone abandoned them half-way through running. A man’s shoe. Just one of them. An open briefcase with papers splayed out all around it. Nobody’s cell phones were working, which was especially scary for those trying to reach us (like our parents). I remember saying “we should just conserve our battery and our energy and sit here.” Then people started pointing at the smoldering towers, which we had a clear view of from the library steps (we could see them smoking in the distance since they were such a huge part of the NYC skyline). A large cloud of dust flew up from the first tower and someone shouted “It was hit again!” and someone else said “They’re bombing it!” and the tower fell right in front of us. It just imploded on itself with a giant cloud of dust flying up into the air.
Of course we didn’t know at the time that the heat and damage sustained by the initial impact of the plane had caused the tower to fall, so it felt like a very real possibility that the tower had been hit again, causing it to collapse. I remember someone screaming “we’re at war!” and someone else just closing their eyes and raising their hands and saying the Lord’s prayer over and over again.
At that point we ran. Just sort of scattered like ants and everyone was crying and there was dust billowing up the streets, even though the tower had fallen over three miles away from us. There were police officers and firemen just covered in ash. They were entirely gray with white eyes and white teeth. There were people bleeding who had been close enough to be hurt by debris who were clearly running on foot from downtown since no public transportation was available anymore.
We eventually ended up in the first floor of a hotel in midtown, just hiding in the foyer. There was a TV on with people gathered around and that’s when we saw the second tower fall. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Nobody wanted to talk or move. I think total shock is the perfect description. And fear. We were literally frozen in fear. At some point the hotel offered to let people up into some vacant rooms but we didn’t want to go upstairs even if it was just a level or two up. We had just seen two skyscrapers collapse. Nobody wanted to be anywhere but on the ground floor. So we could run.
Somehow late that night we got back to our apartment in Bayside, Queens. Some of the trains had started running and we got some spotty cell service to reassure family we were okay. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves, and kept finding ourselves drawn to the now completely changed skyline outside, so we went out on the tiny old balcony of our apartment and that’s when the smell hit us. Like something burning, but also rancid. I don’t know if I was stupid or in denial or what, but I asked my best friend “do you think that smell is the burned metal from the building?” and then we looked at each other and realized that the building wasn’t the only thing burning. And we cried.
What haunts me the most were the thousands of missing person posters that were plastered everywhere in the days and weeks afterwards. Fences and scaffolding and subway walls were covered in faces of everyone who was lost – photos of dads smiling with their children. Women hugging their dogs. Christmas cards with the missing person’s face circled with an arrow. It was gut-wrenching. I remember telling my friend Lindsay that I had a dream about a man in a suit and the whole time I was thinking “how do I know him?!” and in the morning I realized he was one of the faces on the fence near my apartment.
A friend of mine’s dad actually got out of the first tower and was safe on the ground when his boss told him they were cleared to go back in for their wallets and belongings, so he went back in and the tower fell, killing him. I just remember crying with her and saying how unfair it was over and over again. It felt even more cruel that he had been outside and then ended up back in there just as it fell. Stories like that seem all too familiar now, especially those of the policemen and fireflighters who ran in just as the towers crumbled. At the time I think we were half devastated and half numb. It felt like too much to process all at one time.
But one amazing thing about being in New York during that time was the love and support. It sounds crazy, but we were all family in that moment of grief. We all wanted everyone to be okay, and we wanted to rebuild and come back stronger. For the weeks following September 11th we’d thank the dusty firemen that we saw on the subway with tears in our eyes and buy drinks for the workers who were downtown digging through the rubble for survivors. It sort of was like a war that we all had lived through together, and we were all on the same side. It was us against the bad guys, and we were stubborn New Yorkers – there’s no way we were going to just lie down and let them win.
My sophomore year of college had only recently started when it happened and classes resumed about a week later, once the subways were up and running again. A lot of my classes were emptier though. That year I’d say about 30% of my friends left the city. September 11th changed everything and some just couldn’t stomach the idea of being there any longer. I completely understood, but nothing in me ever even whispered “leave.” New York City was my home, and I was staying. I think for the people who stayed, it felt like we grew stronger. More bonded. We looked at each other on the subway and on the streets and we all sort of silently encouraged each other. We’d never forget that day, but we weren’t going anywhere.
I lived there for four more years. I finished school. I got a job at an advertising agency right in midtown, less than a block away from Grand Central – the place where my world got turned upside down a few years earlier. It was at that agency that I met John and we started dating. In fact he took this picture of me and my best friend about a month before he and I moved to Virginia to start a life together.
So while I’m a Richmond gal now, I’ll always be a New Yorker at heart. NYC forever, baby.
Sharon says
There are tears filling my eyes. Thank you. Never Forget… <3
Elona says
How funny, I actually posted something today on my FB page just about being silent for 12 years as well. I worked in 1 WTC and escaped and never went back like your friend’s dad. I am one of the lucky once I guess. Today does seem different from all other years, I am finally ok to talk about it. I actually went back to WTC today and it makes me sad how it became a commercial market over the graves of the people who died.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Elona, I can’t even imagine what you went through. I’m so glad you’re ok. Someone else said this was the day they broke their silence too, so there must be something about this year.
xo
s
Renee S says
Thanks for sharing your story, Sherry! I can’t imagine how horrifying it was to have this happen in your city. I was far from NYC on 9/11, but my stomach still drops & my heart is heavy every time I remember that day, see pictures, or watch video…the same way it did when I was sitting in sociology class my sophomore year of college watching it unfold live on TV.
Stacey Morgan says
I have seen as much as there is to see on tv but I have never heard a personal account. My heart is swelling in my chest and I’m trying not to cry at work. Thank you for sharing your story.
Lauren says
Thank you so much for having the courage to tell this story. It touched my heart and I could feel your emotion. I know that I personally will never forget exactly what I was doing (walking from my 8 am class to my part-time job at the James Madison University Student Health Center), who we were with (my boss, and a bunch of students I didn’t know, sharing expressions of disbelief as we watched horror unfold on the waiting room TV) and how we felt (so scared, and like we were next, even though miles away) on that crisp,clear, beautiful September morning. September 11th was a defining moment for so many of us, and in a way, while it tore so many apart, it also brought so many together, as only tragedy can. Thank you again for mustering up the bravery to share something so intimate and personal with us.
Kasey @ Debt Perception says
That was hard to read through with tears in my eyes. I watched it all on television. I just can’t wrap my head around the overwhelming emotion one would feel having to experience such a tragedy first hand.
I didn’t know you were in Richmond, I’m down in the Norfolk area!
Coree says
I have been reading your blog for a few years now (and to say I am in love with it is an understatement….blog stalk much?!) but this is the first time I have ever been compelled to actually comment. All of us who love your blog clearly see you were born to write, but this post really is in a class of it’s own. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I’m sure you cried as much writing it as we all did reading it. New York is a city with the most amazing spirit, and your story was so touching and beautiful. Thank you for letting us experience it through your eyes Sherry. Much love to my fellow New Yorker! xo
Nicole J says
I’m so sorry you had to live through that. I was there, too, also in college and coincidentally, this was also the first year I wrote about it on my blog: http://thisislifeatourhome.blogspot.com/2013/09/in-remembrance.html
Hugs from NYC!
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks for sharing the link Nicole. I was nowhere close to typing anything up at the ten year anniversary, but there must be something about this year. I hope it’s a cathartic post for you.
xo
s
janice says
I got all teary eyed reading this. ((hugs)) and love to you.
Rhiannon says
Thank you so much for sharing!
Cara B says
I was a senior in high school in upstate NY on 9/11. I remember being in 2nd period when we learned that a plane hit the tower. All of us assumed it was a small plane and that it was an accident. When I got to 3rd period though we learned about the second plane, we knew at that point that it wasn’t an accident.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Jen @ The Decor Scene says
Thank you for sharing your story. I am in complete tears right now. I am a New Yorker and have been one my whole life (42 yrs). I wasnt in NY when it happen, but was in Disney on vacation. My family and friends where there though. Driving home from Florida was so hard but so moving. Driving up on 95 and seeing signs everywhere supporting NY. I cried the whole way home. Every Sept. 11th is hard. I did not lose anyone close to me but we all lost something that day. I know I will never forget that day. Thank you for sharing with us and trusting us with your story. Hugs!!!
Jennifer I says
I’m glad that you found the courage to write it. It is important to remember, to share, to touch back on it and remind ourselves of how precious life is. Awful experience, and you are still healing.
Molly says
It is amazing to read this…I literally just published a post VERY, VERY similar. I know how hard it can be to face this day. You did so in such an eloquent and honest way. Love to you and to your poor friend. NYC forever. <3
KarinK says
Great job telling a tough story. I’m always fascinated to read/hear an account from someone who was there.
amy says
Thank you for sharing that. It made me cry…in my cube. My boyfriend lived in nyc for 7 years and through 9/11. He still cannot talk about it after all these year.
Audra says
What an eloquently written and moving piece. Thank you so much for sharing…this is the first thing I’ve read all day that truly brought back my own memories of that tragic day and touched my heart.
Christine says
I’m in DC, and every year, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude towards the brave souls in the Pennsylvania plane. That plane was, they say, headed towards the Capitol, where several of my friends were that morning… even though a couple of them weren’t my friends yet. My niece and nephew were just a stone’s throw away from the Capitol. My now-husband, who I didn’t know yet, was, also. I’m still stunned by the direct debt of gratitude I have to those people on the Pennsylvania plane. The what-if’s… I can’t imagine. So I think of 9/11 as a day to really take note of those around me, and to think about how I should best be using my good fortune. That way, it’s not all a bad day.
Jana says
Thank you for this. I was in Jr high, and the magnitude of what was happening didn’t really hit me at the time. Reading stories like yours help me to better understand. Thank you.
Roxanne M says
Thank you for sharing, Sherry. I think you and your family will be glad you wrote this.
Diana P. says
This is a beautiful and heartbreaking tribute, Sherry. Thank you for being so vulnerable and raw indescribing what you saw and felt.
12 years ago was my 15th birthday. I was sitting in the guidance counselor’s office at school when we heard about the attacks. All I remember was being afraid that my father was supposed to be traveling across the country that day (PA to CA). Because it was my birthday and he wanted to see me when I woke up, he scheduled a later flight which ended up being cancelled when all the airways were shut down. I was so grateful for his safety on that day.
Shelly says
I was living in Downtown Phoenix at the time and the week of Thanksgiving I got a new neighbor. A girl from NYC. I guess she had to get as far away as she could. My brother in law also left NYC. He worked for the AP and had more than his fill of sadness. He had to be there for press stories and be at ground zero. I can so understand people wanting to leave, but I love what you said about the people who stayed. It’s a tough city but in the best way.
Kel says
I lived nowhere near NYC on that day, but it completely changed my life course. I was set to leave for France to study abroad, but (for fear that Americans might be targeted abroad as well) I didn’t go. Instead I stayed in the U.S., finished my degree early and met the man who became my husband. 9/11 altered the lives of so many.
So glad you can finally write about your experience, hopefully it is helpful for processing it, even 12 years later …
Sally says
Kel – Me too. I wan’t there but it changed my life. I’d likely live in a different state, maybe not have met my significant other, and might have ended up in a different career.
aaroohii says
Loved your last line, richmond gal buy new yorker at heart!
Same with me, I don’t love living in Jersey but the only reason I live here is because I can live in a big enough home and go to NYC every weekend! Jersey Gal but a New Yorker at heart <3
Laurea says
I was in middle school when it happened so I didn’t really understand it at the time. As I get older though, and people tell me their stories, it becomes more and more real. For me, it wasn’t that day that haunts me, its the details from the stories that I hear.
Sandra says
This was so moving. Thank you for sharing.
Lesley Frenz | Artsy Forager says
Wow. Beautifully written. I have goosebumps and tears in my eyes. I can’t imagine how tough that was to put into words, let alone for all of us to read. Thank you for sharing your story, Sherri.
Layne says
Thank you for putting this into words.
Dianna says
I love personal posts along with all your fun DIY posts. The anniversary of 9/11 is one so profound for everyone in our country and especially those in New York. Where we were/what we were doing/how we found out/who we knew will be forever burned in our memory. Thank you for sharing your story!
Brittany says
Thank you for sharing, Sherry. I was in 6th grade on September 11, 2001 and its sad to think that my age of people are one of the last that will have meaningful memories of the event. I hope you share this story with Clara when she’s old enough to understand. xo Never forget.
heather says
The part about your friends Dad has me choking up. The flight from Boston was the one my dad always took when he flew out to go out west and I remember running to the phone and calling my mom to make sure he wasn’t on the flight that day, because I couldn’t remember if it was that week he was flying out again. He wasn’t on it. I still can’t watch news coverage without tearing up and getting a lump in my throat for the people who passed, the animals who passed, all those who worked tirelessly and are still dealing with medical issues, the families that 12 years later still have to move forward without their loved ones…uhg. I’ll never forget where I was when I heard, or when I watched the towers fall, or a week later a teacher bringing in a piece of one of the beams she was given which was twisted like it was playdoh, as she told us her cousin was missing.
I will also remember the intense amount of love, and that it actually brought out country together in solidarity in a way I’ve never seen. I see us now and it makes me so sad to hear the bickering back and forth in politics and the divide between people it causes. I just wish people would remember that at the end of the day we’re all people with hearts who love others and who have people who love us and just learn to get along. You don’t have to love everyone you meet, but an ounce of kindness and respect goes a long way.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sherry.
jess says
I was in Rutgers University and went to class as usual. I saw that the class is cancelled because professor couldn’t get the train. I thought it was a little weird excuse on the professor’s part. So I walked back to dorms all happy, but noticed the campus looking a little empty, like where are all the students?
I reach my dorm floor and see students gathered around a guy whose mom died in the WTC attack. And I was like what attack and then I got a call from my brother saying he’s coming to pick me up as WTC has been bombed!
I went home and saw the news that both towers have been hit by a plane in a terrorist attack.
It was my second year in the USA, I came to this country to make a good life and to see this happening; terrorists! Attack! It was heartbreaking, something which I haven’t gotten over even now.
Gay Crissman Clark says
Sherry, this post is very interesting to read. I’ve often wanted to hear what the “regular folks” were doing in NYC that day. I was teaching at my school in suburban Houston. I cannot tell you how sad we all felt, how full of admiration we were for NYFD and others. Many, many days afterward, I shed tears for people who are strangers to me. But we are all Americans, so their pain, was my pain. I will never forget. Never.
And I will never understand the evil that made 9-11.
Christina P (NS) says
While it is definitely not required for you to share such deeply personal moments of your life with all of us randoms on the interweb – it is these that endears you to us and connect us with you further. Rather than just reading some random article, makes me feel like I am reading the words of a friend.
Thank you for sharing Sherry.
Vanessa W says
Sherry, thank you so much for sharing. I have many friends who were living and working in NYC the day the towers were hit and not one of them can speak about it. I will never know the pain of the victims, the heroic firefighters, those who lost loved ones, or those whe were there to see the towers fall; but the strength and rebuilding of such a magnificent city shows me that through such an unspeakable tragedy, we are stronger. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story. xo, v
Erin says
Beautifully written, Sherry. I was there that day too – not far from Grand Central in fact. You captured the feeling that for me will always be 9/11: we were family.
I remember going to our local fire house on the Upper West Side that evening to light candles, say prayers and say thank you in whatever small way we could. We were standing next to strangers, but what I felt from every other person was love and strength. As soon as we were able to leave Manhattan my family outside of the city was asking us to come home – at least for a visit. But for many of us who were there that day, leaving was never even an option. I continued to live there for years and my job is still here. NYC changed that day; I changed that day. But I think, for the better.
Thank you for sharing.
jill says
Beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing.
Rachel McCoy says
So powerful, thank you for sharing with us even though I’m sure it was tough to go back there mentally and emotionally. I was a college sophomore then, too and the older I get the more I realize how much I didn’t know about life 12 years ago. Hearing stories like this affect me so differently now and especially as a young mama. Thanks for stepping out of your DIY box today!!
Amy says
Thank you for writing this post. It brought tears to my eyes, remembering that day.
krys72599 says
I got shivers reading your account.
I was at work, about 15 miles from the city, but the Towers were in my line of sight on the way home every day, as I drove home on Route 3 East. I never noticed noticing the Towers every day. Until they weren’t there.
My mom called and told me the same thing, that a small plane had hit one of the Towers. I turned on the radio in my office, but eventually wound up in my girlfriend’s office, listening and praying.
We went to the owner’s office – he was the only one with a TV – and we were there, watching, when the first Tower fell.
He was never a warm and fuzzy kind of guy, but he sent us all home that morning: I’ll never forget what he said. “You all need to be home with your families now. Go.”
My husband was working in Hoboken at the time – he couldn’t leave until 5pm-ish. He said there were people walking home along Route 3, covered in ash. He said that picture will never, ever leave him.
I know there were plenty of other important “I’ll always remember where I was” kind of days, but this one? There’s something special about this day.
None of us should ever forget.
MissCaron says
Thank you for sharing. My sister lives in the east village. It’s scary thinking back to the moment I found out the first tower had been hit and even scarier thinking that there are still people out there who hate us and want to do us harm. All we can do is live our lives the best we can, take each day as it comes, and never ever forget.
Jake's a Girl says
Beautiful story. It’s so hard to bring our hearts out to share what is so heartbroken. We do heal but in the heal the tiny edge stays raw and just a small bump can make it start to bleed. I does help to talk about our pain, to share our pain and to except the sympathy, love and fellowship that helps to heal us.
That day *and being over a thousand miles from NYC* is as fresh in my mind as if i’d been standing in the street when it happened. I think it is for a lot of non-New Yorkers.
I was watching my morning shot of GMA and Charlie Gibson was talking then boom! He said that something was happening at the WCT and then said a plane had hit. With them having cameras on the building it was just seconds we had a picture of what had happened. I stayed with them and ABC all day. I kept Peter Jennings company all night. I didn’t eat or sleep for 2-days just watching, praying and crying over what was in my mind the worst tragedy ever.
I can’t imagine what you guys being there witnessed and I don’t want to. It was hard enough being here and just seeing it on TV.
That day proved that America is never ever at a loss at what to do when it needs being done.
Cat @ Budget Blonde says
Wow Sherry thanks for sharing your story. I cannot even imagine how much courage that took to write it. I actually just shared my Hurricane Katrina story after almost 8 years. It was definitely therapeutic to write about it and get a nice response: http://www.budgetblonde.com/2013/08/the-eye-of-the-storm.html
YoungHouseLove says
Thanks so much for sharing the link Cat. I can’t even imagine what you went through.
xo
s
sarah k says
Thanks for sharing this. I’m sure it took bravery to face those memories and bring it all back.
I was in grad school in the Midwest at the time, watching all that on TV from afar. Reading about the raw reality of actually experiencing it always makes me ache, both with sorrow for the horrible and utterly unfair losses, and with respect for the brave people who gave their lives trying to help and those who worked to rebuild afterwards. Thank you for telling your story.
Cindy says
Sherry, I’m not really sure what to say, except thank you for sharing. xo
Katy says
That made me cry! Thank you for sharing, Sherry!
Caitlin says
So glad you shared….. very well written and a tribute to those who we have lost, who were there, and who lived through 9/11.
Sophie says
Oh wow, Sherry, thank you for sharing your story with us all. I’ve got tears streaming down my face at this. Your spirit is incredible.
I was only eight on 9/11 and had just started third grade. I remember that, because we’re here in the UK and we were so young, my school told us nothing. Because of the time difference, both towers had been hit by the time school ended but neither had collapsed. I was a pretty observant kid and I noticed that a lot of the parents were a little weird after school, including my own. Lots of people had tears in their eyes and nobody smiled as they usually did.
When we got home, my mum tried to explain to me what had happened in the best way that she could, then put on the TV. My most awful memory of that day was being eight years old and standing helpless and confused in the middle of the living room watching these gigantic buildings just crumble on TV; my mother sat on the floor and screamed. I had absolutely no idea what was happening because to me, bad people lived in books and not in the real world.
But I recovered from it pretty quickly since it didn’t directly affect me and my age meant I didn’t really get it. It’s really amazing to hear your story; you forget so easily about each individual person that it affected.
Sorry for the essay, but I’m sure I won’t be the only one sharing.
Never forget.
Emily F says
Thanks for sharing, Sherry! I hope that getting it out and into words will be a healing process for you! I remember it like yesterday… and I live in Washington state. I can’t imagine the fear and chaos of being in the city when it happened…
Jenn says
Sherry,
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing this. While reading I had tears in my eyes and I can’t even imagine the pain and terror that you must have felt. I was thousands of miles away in Alberta, Canada and will never forget the details of that day. Each year I remember them like they were yesterday. I hope that sharing this story has brought you peace as it has brought many of your readers.