Thanks for the encouragement from this morning’s post to choke out my rambling September 11th story guys. As hard as it is to tell, I feel like it’s something I’ll want to look back on – especially when Clara’s older and I’m trying to explain the enormity of that day. It was a terrible day, but such a life-changing one too, and it definitely shaped who I am. And as much as I love having thousands of DIY posts in our archives, sometimes it’s those rare personal posts (like this one or this one or this one) that make me the happiest that I dumped all the jumbled words out of my head and onto the keyboard.
I’ve debated whether or not to write this for six years now, every time this anniversary rolls around. I was a college sophomore living in New York City on September 11th, but the experience of being there and watching everything happen right in front of my eyes is still something I haven’t quite wrapped my head around. So I’ve stayed mum on the topic for all of the years we’ve been blogging. I don’t know what makes this year any different, but I felt like I was ready this time. It’s crazy how something that happened 12 years ago can feel so distant, but when I start talking/typing about it, I remember every sound and smell and sight and it floods back like it was yesterday. Early that morning I had been in Grand Central working on a show house for Country Home magazine (my best friend and I interned there during the morning we didn’t have classes, just lending a hand to unwrap accessories so the rooms could be styled).
I remember hearing from our boss right when we got there that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, but it sounded like it was minor (like some small plane with the wrong coordinates made a mistake). Nothing like “terrorism” or “act of war” was mentioned, so we shrugged and kept unpacking boxes while a few people called relatives who worked in the tower, just to check on them. It sounded like only a few floors were affected, which had us worried for those people but no one was really freaking out. Then a little while later we heard the second tower was hit. The only way I can describe it was immediate panic. Grand Central was evacuated within minutes.
There were guards with guns and people rushing us out and they just sort of explained that this was another “landmark” in NYC, so it wasn’t safe to be here because there were fears that other places in the city were going to be targeted. Thank God my best friend was there with me. I completely panicked and had no idea where to go or what to do. At this point the entire subway system had been shut down (again, because it was a “target” so the city wanted to evacuate any place they thought could be hit next) so we all spilled out into the street in front of Grand Central and my best friend and I just walked towards Penn Station, which is where the train we took to our apartment in Bayside, Queens would be (assuming those were still running).
When we got there we learned it wasn’t. So we just walked around aimlessly and found ourselves sitting on the steps of the New York Public Library. We were terrified that it was another target (should we sit here? should we keep walking around?). I think we were in a state of shock, so we just sat down on the steps anyway. People were rushing by and there were crazy things just laying in the street and on the sidewalk, as if someone abandoned them half-way through running. A man’s shoe. Just one of them. An open briefcase with papers splayed out all around it. Nobody’s cell phones were working, which was especially scary for those trying to reach us (like our parents). I remember saying “we should just conserve our battery and our energy and sit here.” Then people started pointing at the smoldering towers, which we had a clear view of from the library steps (we could see them smoking in the distance since they were such a huge part of the NYC skyline). A large cloud of dust flew up from the first tower and someone shouted “It was hit again!” and someone else said “They’re bombing it!” and the tower fell right in front of us. It just imploded on itself with a giant cloud of dust flying up into the air.
Of course we didn’t know at the time that the heat and damage sustained by the initial impact of the plane had caused the tower to fall, so it felt like a very real possibility that the tower had been hit again, causing it to collapse. I remember someone screaming “we’re at war!” and someone else just closing their eyes and raising their hands and saying the Lord’s prayer over and over again.
At that point we ran. Just sort of scattered like ants and everyone was crying and there was dust billowing up the streets, even though the tower had fallen over three miles away from us. There were police officers and firemen just covered in ash. They were entirely gray with white eyes and white teeth. There were people bleeding who had been close enough to be hurt by debris who were clearly running on foot from downtown since no public transportation was available anymore.
We eventually ended up in the first floor of a hotel in midtown, just hiding in the foyer. There was a TV on with people gathered around and that’s when we saw the second tower fall. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Nobody wanted to talk or move. I think total shock is the perfect description. And fear. We were literally frozen in fear. At some point the hotel offered to let people up into some vacant rooms but we didn’t want to go upstairs even if it was just a level or two up. We had just seen two skyscrapers collapse. Nobody wanted to be anywhere but on the ground floor. So we could run.
Somehow late that night we got back to our apartment in Bayside, Queens. Some of the trains had started running and we got some spotty cell service to reassure family we were okay. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves, and kept finding ourselves drawn to the now completely changed skyline outside, so we went out on the tiny old balcony of our apartment and that’s when the smell hit us. Like something burning, but also rancid. I don’t know if I was stupid or in denial or what, but I asked my best friend “do you think that smell is the burned metal from the building?” and then we looked at each other and realized that the building wasn’t the only thing burning. And we cried.
What haunts me the most were the thousands of missing person posters that were plastered everywhere in the days and weeks afterwards. Fences and scaffolding and subway walls were covered in faces of everyone who was lost – photos of dads smiling with their children. Women hugging their dogs. Christmas cards with the missing person’s face circled with an arrow. It was gut-wrenching. I remember telling my friend Lindsay that I had a dream about a man in a suit and the whole time I was thinking “how do I know him?!” and in the morning I realized he was one of the faces on the fence near my apartment.
A friend of mine’s dad actually got out of the first tower and was safe on the ground when his boss told him they were cleared to go back in for their wallets and belongings, so he went back in and the tower fell, killing him. I just remember crying with her and saying how unfair it was over and over again. It felt even more cruel that he had been outside and then ended up back in there just as it fell. Stories like that seem all too familiar now, especially those of the policemen and fireflighters who ran in just as the towers crumbled. At the time I think we were half devastated and half numb. It felt like too much to process all at one time.
But one amazing thing about being in New York during that time was the love and support. It sounds crazy, but we were all family in that moment of grief. We all wanted everyone to be okay, and we wanted to rebuild and come back stronger. For the weeks following September 11th we’d thank the dusty firemen that we saw on the subway with tears in our eyes and buy drinks for the workers who were downtown digging through the rubble for survivors. It sort of was like a war that we all had lived through together, and we were all on the same side. It was us against the bad guys, and we were stubborn New Yorkers – there’s no way we were going to just lie down and let them win.
My sophomore year of college had only recently started when it happened and classes resumed about a week later, once the subways were up and running again. A lot of my classes were emptier though. That year I’d say about 30% of my friends left the city. September 11th changed everything and some just couldn’t stomach the idea of being there any longer. I completely understood, but nothing in me ever even whispered “leave.” New York City was my home, and I was staying. I think for the people who stayed, it felt like we grew stronger. More bonded. We looked at each other on the subway and on the streets and we all sort of silently encouraged each other. We’d never forget that day, but we weren’t going anywhere.
I lived there for four more years. I finished school. I got a job at an advertising agency right in midtown, less than a block away from Grand Central – the place where my world got turned upside down a few years earlier. It was at that agency that I met John and we started dating. In fact he took this picture of me and my best friend about a month before he and I moved to Virginia to start a life together.
So while I’m a Richmond gal now, I’ll always be a New Yorker at heart. NYC forever, baby.
Britt says
I’m glad you took the time to write this. I was a high school senior in KY on 9/11, but I found my apartment in Astoria NYC on 9/11/2006. I became a New Yorker that day, and chose to align myself with the group that stayed and the kind of people who stay. New York was my home ever since. Two months ago I moved to SF to start a new life with my boyfriend, and this will be the first September 11 in many years that I don’t find myself looking up at two pillars of light in the sky on my way home, or hearing the stories of coworkers who were there. But in my heart, I’m still there. Just like you. No one will ever forget that horrible day. It’s a part of all of us and a part of the fabric of New York. And if you’ve ever called New York home, you’ll never forget that either. Thanks for reminding me of both.
Katy says
Thank you for sharing your story! Just as you couldn’t find the words for so long, I am having a hard time finding the right thing to say in response other than thank you. I’ll leave it at that.
Maureen says
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Shannon says
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
Angela says
Thank you for sharing this…I know it must have been so difficult to write. We lived in Hawaii at the time and got a very early morning call from a friend telling us to turn on the tv because “all he** has broken loose.” I have never felt so far from home in my life and was gutted for weeks afterwards. I could not stop reading and crying over the NYT feature on the victims. Knowing how I felt from 5,000 miles away, I can only imagine how you felt there in the heart of it all. Hugs to you.
Ally says
Without fail, I cry every September 11th.I cry for those lost, and those they left behind…
The footage from that day haunts me…the ground footage of the jet hitting the first Tower…the footage of the souls that leapt to their death, because that was the better choice than remaining where they were…the horror of the implosions…the faces….
My Gran passed early that same morning…totally unrelated to 9/11 and on a totally different coast…she was the type of woman who got lost very easily…I take comfort in the fact that she had a myriad of other angels to guide her home that day *amen*
Thank you for your sharing your story today, Sherry…god bless <3
xox
Asha says
Thank you for sharing Sherry. It’s never easy to be sure, but it’s important for you and for us. My cousin still can’t share what or how he feels about that day. He was late to an “all-hands” meeting at the World Trade Center for the company he worked for. All 73 other people lost their lives that day and he has been dealing with survivor’s guilt since then. I can’t imagine what he went through walking up to the towers and seeing the first place hit the building. But I hope he finds the strength to work through his journey like you did. You sharing gives me hope he will too.
YoungHouseLove says
I can’t even imagine.
xo
s
Vonda says
Thank you for sharing. I’m sure that was difficult. 12 years later and I still don’t get through this day without crying. I guess I never will, but that’s ok. I think it was an emotional day for all Americans, but I feel like we were all New Yorkers that day as we watched in horror what those awful people did to our beloved City.
Jenna says
A few tears in my eyes from reading this! Thank you for sharing! I had just started the 9th grade that year and I was in French class when we heard the news. Our health teacher’s husband was actually on the first plane. They had just married a few weeks before. So sad. My roommates father was working in the one of the towers at the time, and it was pay day. He decided to cash his check that morning. The bank right downstairs had too long of a line, so he decided to walk to bank a little farther away and it’s the only reason he’s still here today.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh my gosh, that’s so terrifying. So grateful he was ok.
xo
s
Maddie says
Sherry, I’m so glad you were able to share your 9/11 story. My sister did and still lives in Manhattan so I understand the fear and numbness you’re describing – that was a life changing day for every American.
Now, Sept. 11 always makes me feel humbled, sad, but also very proud – for all of the reasons you described. I always wear my I <3 NY shirt on this day to feel closer to it all, feel that sense of unity.
Thank you for sharing – stay strong!
Nicole K says
My best friend and I are the same age as you, she was at NYU for her sophomore year on Sept 11th as well. She tried to go back but couldn’t and misses it everyday since. I’m so glad you found the strength to stay. It’s amazing how many people were affected, probably not even six degrees of separation on this one. Thanks for sharing and helping us all not forget.
Molly says
Thank you for sharing, Sherry. I had never heard a story like yours about what it was like being in NYC on the ground that day.
Mary McG says
Thanks you so much for sharing.
Christina H says
I am so glad you wrote this. Reading your experiences takes me back to mine. I was also a sophomore in college but on the west coast. California, especially LA, was convinced we’d get hit too and everyone was panicking. I remember trying to contact my Uncles who worked in the towers. That day has transformed our lives so completely.
I would love to hear John’s version of what happened.
YoungHouseLove says
John was actually not in NYC yet (he moved there in 2004) but he was in Northern VA, so there was a lot of scary stuff going on at the Pentagon nearby.
xo
s
qs777 says
Thank you for writing this Sherry! I always have a difficult time this time of year, but never want to forget. Even though I was in another part of the country that day, I felt like we were all one – America.
Tiffany S. says
Big hugs, Sherry!
My husband had just come up from the subways in Grand Central around 9:15 when he stepped outside to see everyone stock still on the sidewalk staring toward downtown. He started walking north and he didn’t get home until 2:30. I was totally panicked when I didn’t know where he was, and people were telling us that the Golden Gate Bridge had been destroyed, so many crazy rumors.
I, too, will never get over the “missing” posters. Just so horrifically eerie. When people try to blame the government and all sorts of other ridiculous conclusions, I just think that you have to had been there to just know that it was what it was.
Christy says
Powerfully written. Thank you for sharing.
Jennifer says
Wow…my best friend was also in college in NYC at the time (we were seniors, he was at NYU). Are you originally from NYC?
YoungHouseLove says
I was born and raised in Jersey (Parsippany) and always wanted to go to college in NYC, so as soon as I graduated I moved there and was a New Yorker for six amazing years (until John stole me down to the south).
xo
s
Lynn says
Thanks for sharing – everyone should.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was driving to work on that cool crisp September morning, I was stopped at a red light when the newscaster on the radio said “today is Tuesday, September 11th” and I remember literally thinking “that’s a historical date for some reason” it was only 6:30 AM – 9/11/2001… Little did I know. I had a dream that night about a man on the first plane. I still remember his face – it haunts me to this day. Someday I hope to find out who he might have been… It is nothing compared to your experience. We shall all “never forget”.
Rebecca says
sending love from the city <3
Ashley says
Thank you, Sherry. Thank you so much for being brave and sharing. My Dad was in the towers that morning and escaped, but the memories of numbly sitting through classes all day silently praying for an “I’m okay” call are still so painful. I think I’ll be 100 years old and still vividly remember putting my head down on my desk and sobbing in relief when I finally heard from him around 2pm. It’s visceral almost…and I get the sense it’s still that way for you too. I call my Dad every year on this day and make sure he knows I love him. Your words hit me right in the gut, in a good way. Thinking of you and your friend. Thanks again.
Sally says
Thanks so much for writing. This day is such a significant point for so many of us. I feel like we’ll spend our lives reflecting on it in different ways.
Jennifer says
Thank you for sharing, Sherry.
Maggie S says
Thanks for sharing this important memory
Ethne @ Wom-Mom says
Bless you, Sherry. xo, Ethne
Deena says
Chills up my spine and tears in my eyes. I’ve watched many documentaries about that day, but it’s so different hearing a personal story from someone you “know” (even if it’s just someone you know from a blog). Thank you for having the courage to share.
I was sitting in my intro to mass comm class my freshman year in a tiny college near St. Louis (I think John would know which one). The assignment of the morning was to share a photo that meant something to you. I was in the middle of sharing a photo of my cousins, sister, and I on top of the WTC (I kid you not) from a family trip to NYC the December before when a professor popped his head in the door and ushered all of my class to the campus chapel without telling us very much. As we passed through the concourse and saw the news on TV we all just started to cry and pray. Those prayers continue today.
Kaitlin says
Thank you for writing, Sherry.
I’m a native New Yorker, but I was a 15 year old living with my parents in Manila, Philippines that year. I was home alone babysitting my younger brothers when a neighbor called and told me turn on CNN International. That’s when I saw smoke pouring out of the first tower that was hit. Then I watched the second tower get hit on live TV. I was sick with worry for all my relatives back in the City. I’ll never forget how lonely it felt, to be so far away and unable to reach anyone.
Will never forget.
Bethany says
thanks for sharing. I think those of us who lived through it tend to to shove those memories away, but on some level we have a duty to dust off those memories and relive them. My dad died a few months after 9/11 so the event is always tied up in my head with the personal tragedy. But I remember, so clearly, my dad telling me that night to remember everything I could about that day because for our generation, it would be the “where were you when….” question, the way Kennedy’s assasination was for his generation. And he said that my kids and grandkids would want to hear the story.
Emma says
I don’t comment often, but I just wanted to thank you for sharing. My aunt was in the city and saw the first tower get hit from her office window. I don’t know what she did the rest of the day–I’ve never worked up the courage to ask–but I can only imagine that her story is similar to yours. I’ll never forget the look on my dad’s face when he got home from work that night and let us know that my aunt (his sister) was okay. Again, thank you for writing this. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to go through.
Melanie says
What an amazing testimony of where you were and what you witnessed on that day. I was just at the 9/11 Memorial last week and it was absolutely surreal to be there. I can’t even imagine watching them fall from a distance as you recanted. Thank you for sharing your story :) #neverforget
Valerie says
Beautifully written! Thanks for sharing your story.
I was a freshman in high school and remember watching the TV in my biology class in horror as the second plane hit.
My dad was in DC and was supposed to be at the Pentagon later that day for a meeting. I had an uncle in NYC who was planning on touring the World Trade Center that day. My uncle came up out of the subway and saw the first plane hit. My dad was on his way to his meeting when he heard the news about the Pentagon. We were very fortunate they both were ok.
I remember the anxiety of not being able to get a hold of anyone. My older sister and I kept trying over and over again to call my dad’s cell only to keep getting voicemail. We were relieved to finally hear he was ok.
I grieve with the many families who lost someone. It was such a tragic day.
Never forget.
Meika says
Thank you for sharing this! I share my story with my kids (I’m a teacher) every year. Many of them were two or three when it happened, and they have no idea of the enormity of the day. They know it was sad, and they know they should be sad, but without a story, it’s just another tragedy. I feel like telling them what happened from someone who was just a little older than them that day makes it real. I was lucky enough to have my father return home, but many people I went to school with lost family members. Thank you for sharing your story, and keeping the memory of that day from becoming just another day on the calendar.
Jos says
Thank you for writing such a poignant post. It’s through sharing these stories and coming together as you so eloquently put it that we rebuild stronger than before. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember what life was like “pre-9/11”, as a student at a military academy when it happened and now a member of the armed forces, my life course was changed that day. Thank you again for sharing your story, Sherry.
Katie says
Beautiful.
Thank you.
Dizee says
Good job getting it all out.
Tough memories of that day for all of us. It was our City’s loss of innocence. A day that will stick with all of us until the end.
And I am so happy to see you mention 9/11 today. Maybe it is my New Yorker blood but I was sad to see business-as-usual on so many of the blogs I read. I appreciate the momentary reflection before getting down to business.
Hug your man, little girl and pup and enjoy the rest of your day.
Whitney Dupuis says
Oh, Sherry. Thank you for these words. I wasn’t there – I was actually in a math class during my junior year at the University of Alabama – but I remember everything about that morning. I remember my classmate who was a member of the guard. He immediately left the class – no words – and I never saw him again. I remember our professor saying that we could go home, but we stuck around because we had to know what was happening. I can’t imagine what it was like actually living that day in NYC, but I am thankful that you survived to tell your story. We need people like you to remind us that this wasn’t just some day in history. It was real, it was terrifying, it actually happened, and we have a duty to remember.
Myrna says
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Sherry. I also shed tears, but I could not stop watching everything unfold on TV. The day after I was able to hold my godson’s 15-minute old daughter and see that life goes on in love.
Heather {A Fire Pole in the Dining Room} says
What a powerful story. Thanks for sharing.
Jessica says
I was a senior at Villanova at the time. So many people who go to Villanova are from the New York area. I’ll never forget watching it with my roommates, and I’ll never, ever forget telling my roommate what was happening when she woke up or the look on her face when she whispered back that her aunt worked in the Towers. (Her aunt made it out ok, thankfully).
Have you been to the Memorial? It’s beautiful
YoungHouseLove says
I haven’t been yet. I have seen pictures and it looks lovely. Working up the courage to go in person.
xo
s
Julia says
Thank you so much for sharing. I know it must have been hard, yet cathartic, to do so. My heart goes out to you as you continue healing.
Michelle@ A Healthy Mrs says
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a Canadian, but NYC is one of my favorite places to visit. My husband & I have gone there every year for the last few years, and we always make sure to include a stop at the memorial to remember that day.
They will never be forgotten.
Camille says
Thank you for sharing your story Sherry!
Megan says
Thanks for sharing this, it was beautifully written and certainly made me cry! p.s. I know exactly what smell you are referring to, 7 months after 9/11 I stayed in Chinatown for a couple of nights and we kept getting hit with that smell when the wind would blow a certain direction. It apparently lasted for up to a year. :(
Ressurrection says
I am from Arlington, Virginia where the Pentagon sits. I lived in DC at the time. They are a bridge (walking distance) away from each other. This literally made me cry. One day, I’ll record the day on paper. All I could think was, “I need to get to my mother.” I was the last car they let through to get to Virginia. Seeing the fleeing people from the Pentagon, trying not to hit anyone, and wanting, needing to get to my mother. Wow… you’re story really brought tears to my chin.
Thank you for sharing. And, very well written.
Michelle (aka mybelle101) says
I was trying to explain what today was about to my boys yesterday (they asked what “Patriot Day” was on the calendar, and got choked up trying to explain it then, but as soon as I started reading your account, every hair raised up on my body. Definitely still makes me cry, but I think it’s a good cry…cleansing, and a reminder of what I love about this country, and why I think it’s worth fighting for.
It was different being on the west coast while it all happened, but I remember staring at the television, and just sobbing once it all started to sink in. My husband was down at a convention center in San Diego for a huge tech expo, and they were debating whether they needed to evacuate there, too, since they didn’t know the plan/scope. Crazy to think it’s been 12 years already. In some ways it’s as clear as yesterday.
Keri says
Thanks for sharing your story, Sherry! I was in D.C. that day and had many friends in New York. I wrote about it last year for the first time, mostly so I don’t forget all the details. D.C., like New York, was a different place after 9/11, and I always considered myself one of the lucky ones: I was safe and so were my friends/family. Thinking of you and all of those who weren’t as lucky as we were!
Jen says
Thank you for sharing this, it brought tears to my eyes. It’s painful to remember and I wasn’t even directly affected by it like you were. My memories are also very vivid of that day. By remembering and discussing it, it can somehow help us heal as a nation.
Evie says
Your post is more powerful than you could possibly know, Sherry. Thank you so much for writing it……….and for evoking all my memories of that day, which I’ve always thought of as the Pearl Harbor day of 2011.
I went into the post office for stamps that morning, and said something cheerful to the woman at the window. She said, “You don’t know, do you?” She told me……
What a shock, then and now. I’ll never forget the vulnerability…and the sense of wrong prevailing at least for that moment…
Evie says
Well, uhm, typed the year wrong, yes I did….. But you know what I mean.
Brie says
This has moved me beyond words and into tears. Thank you for sharing.
The Baby Giraffe
Kate says
Thank you for sharing Sherry. I know it must have been especially hard for you write about it. I can’t imagine being there, being so close to that happening. It brought me to tears and as I was reading, I was remembering exactly what I was doing that day.