To everyone who has been asking about Teddy’s birth story, thanks for your patience. I like to let those things simmer a little while before I write about them (Clara’s took me almost a year thanks to all of the mixed emotions I had going on) but Teddy’s birth was a lot less scary and a lot more straightforward. Thank goodness! After going through such a traumatic first birth, nothing sounded better to me than a completely routine, scheduled, no-surprises-at-all delivery this time around – which it mostly was, for which I’m SO GRATEFUL. There were still a few surprises, but the primary challenge of this birth (and the whole pregnancy process) was fending off the worries, fear, and worst-case scenarios that my last experience had cemented so vividly in my head. In some ways, Teddy’s birthday was like the culmination of four years worth of emotions.
I had a scheduled C-section this time around, just due to the dangers of going into labor for myself and Teddy (that’s what triggered my placental abruption with Clara) so while it felt sort of weird to know his birthday ahead of time, it was the kind of information my brain embraced. I felt so out of control with Clara’s birth that I was happy to cling to any and all “constants” this time around.
April 16th was the day, and it came without any false (or real) labor scares beforehand. That alone was a huge blessing. We had to be at the hospital around 6:30 am, so we left Clara at home with the grandparents and off we went. It definitely felt weird to drive to the hospital without any contractions (on my way there with Clara I had been in a lot of pain). In some ways the calmness was nice (no pain is a good thing! who complains about no pain?!) but in other ways it gave space for the worries to start creeping in. The last time I was in the hospital having a baby, everything was fine… until it wasn’t. So that whole it-came-out-of-nowhere thing was lurking in my head.
When we got there, they were quick to get me into a gown and then came the IV. I joked with the lady that I have the worst veins ever and it usually takes a few tries. She smiled and gave it a go. Yup, that vein of mine wouldn’t cooperate. So it took three tries by three different people – the last one being an anesthesiologist who had to numb my hand before digging around to find the right spot. Apparently since I had been banned from eating or drinking that morning I was especially dehydrated, which made my usually-stubborn veins even harder to hit.
But the little IV challenge was good. It kept my mind busy so I wasn’t just laying there freaking out. There was a monitor on my belly the whole time, which was reassuring, and the anesthesiologist was hilarious so we were all just chatting and having a good time. We learned his daughter had just slept through the night for the first time, so he said he was in a great mood and it was a going to be a great day. Before long it was time for the epidural, which meant that I would be wheeled alone into the operating room and John could join me after it was in.
I know it sounds completely crazy, but John and I were separated during my emergency c-section for a little while (he was right outside the OR and I was inside) so as they wheeled me down the halls I had a nice little panic attack. It felt like my chest caved in and I couldn’t breathe. After I realized I actually could breathe I was mostly just embarrassed. “Get it together, this is an awesome day” I repeated in my head.
Once inside the operating room, they had me sit up and curl my back so they could get the epidural in. This is when the mood got a little lighter again, because just like my stubborn veins, apparently my spine was being stubborn, so it took a bunch of attempts to get it in correctly (at one point I felt something dripping down my back and asked if it was blood – turns out it was spinal fluid). That might sound gross to you, but I LOVE that stuff, so it once again kept my mind nice and busy (no way! spinal fluid?!). Soon enough the epidural was in, and I was laid down and lifted to the operating table. And then I looked up.
SAME ROOM. I was in the same room that I had been in when Clara came into the world not making a sound. I’d recognize that ceiling anywhere. I had stared at it for what felt like forever while willing Clara to cry. It hit me so hard. I later learned that John was outside making the same realization. Same hallway. Same door. Just standing there again, nervously wondering what was going on inside.
But as soon as they got me laid down on the table, John was allowed in. He grabbed my hand and everything was ok. Suddenly I felt a rush of excitement. We were going to meet our little boy! I might have squeezed John’s hand too hard, but he didn’t complain. I didn’t even know he took this picture (my eyes were squeezed shut a lot of the time) but I loved discovering it on his phone a few days later. He said we missed so many photos during the frenzy of Clara’s birth (we hardly have any at all) that he wanted to make up for it this time.
Maybe ten or fifteen minutes passed and the doctor said “he has so much hair!” and “he’s so big!” and “oh my gosh, his kicks are so strong!” I remember saying something like “why isn’t he crying?!” because that is literally all I wanted to hear, and she laughed and said “he’s still inside, I’m getting him out right now” and then he started wailing. It was amazing. I’m welling up just thinking about it. It was the greatest release. He was out! He was crying!
They brought him over to me to do skin to skin a few seconds later, which felt so good. He was just laying there breathing, occasionally opening his eyes just a sliver to peek at me.
John and I blinked back tears and studied him. He was so close to my face I could see every little hair and freckle. We had a good laugh over the tiny baby hairs on his shoulder. Our little werewolf, we joked. They took him over to get cleaned up, weighed, and measured and he started crying again. John and I were both still just laughing and crying. It was one of the best feelings ever.
There was some excessive bleeding on my end (apparently my uterus wouldn’t clamp down, so they had to give me a shot of pitocin to get it under control), but thankfully that worked and I didn’t need any blood transfusions or anything. After I was all stitched up, I got to nurse Teddy. I just laid there, soaking up every detail of his tiny face. I looked up and saw John’s eyes getting teary again. I know healthy babies come into the world every day, but it felt like a gigantic miracle to us.
After we were settled in our permanent room, we got to introduce him to John’s parents, my mom, and Clara. And just when I thought my heart couldn’t burst any more, seeing Clara gently pet his head and asking to climb into bed with me and Teddy – well, I almost can’t explain the euphoria. I am so grateful to the amazing people who helped us get both of our kids safely into the world and cared for me throughout this pregnancy.
As for my second c-section recovery, it seemed a lot easier this time. I had a lot more trauma/blood loss the first time, and even my incision was smaller this time around, so I was up moving around in the hospital by the next day (I even got a morning shower!) and was off pain pills by the time I was back at home. One tip to other c-section mommas out there is that I LOVED the abdominal binder the hospital provided after I had Clara (I brought it with me and used it again after Teddy). It’s this wide white band that you velcro around your waist and it just seems to hold everything together.
You know how it hurts to laugh or sneeze after a c-section, so you brace yourself against a pillow? Well, the abdominal binder is like constantly being braced, so those things don’t hurt as much. And instead of walking around all hunched over, it helped me stand up straight and move around with less pain (I wore mine until about four weeks postpartum). I assumed everyone got one, but when I mentioned it randomly on an instagram comment about a week after Teddy’s birth, I heard from so many moms who hadn’t heard of them so I wanted to pass that tip along in case it helps. I’m sure most hospitals have them if you ask, and it made such a difference for me both times.
Weird abdominal binder sidebar aside, I wanted to thank you guys so much for the love and support you shared throughout this pregnancy and during the birth.
I can’t explain how comforting it was to have your well wishes and support during such an emotion-filled time. Big wet kisses to all of you. Also, I think Teddy has a present in his diaper for you. Oh wait, that’s for John ;)
One more thing. How is my baby boy this big already?! INSANITY!
LibraDesignEye says
Your generous open spirit to share your experience with Clara and Teddy will help other mothers who find themselves in a childbirth situation where medical support is critical to survival. Many women would not have been able to face another pregnancy after the life threatening episode you had with Clara. It will be very comforting to know that if you follow the doctors advice (wait, let your body heal, plan ahead to avoid trouble), it really can be done safely.
As readers, we appreciate that sharing is not always easy, but your willingness to lay bare the very natural fears that occur during any childbirth . . . all women are comforted when we use sisterhood to guide others through these life passages. Pregnancy and childbirth are so individual, not at all a contest where there is only one right way .. . if you and your baby are alive and well, you’ve “won” (and what delicious little prizes clara and theodore). Childbirth is one of those processes where we most clearly are not in control, and is a great metaphor for parenting in general.
It is your authentic voice that we respect . . you are brave enough to share your joys, fears and life experiences unvarnished . . . that strengthens us all. Thanks to John for giving us a window (ok, camera phone shots) on this happy day in the Petersik world.
Hannahhenning says
Loved to hear your story! So thankful you and Teddy are healthy. My fourth was born about a month after Teddy and I think he is about twice her size. Good job, Momma!
chelsie says
I’m so glad to hear you had the healing, calm birth experience you deserved. You are one brave lady. Congratulations!
Barcy says
What a beautiful story! I love the picture of you two holding hands. It is such a great visual for the strength of love, marriage, and partnership.
Diana says
What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing such a private and special moment!
Megan says
Thanks for sharing! What a beautiful story. I am thrilled that you had a routine, no-freak-outs delivery this time. Your kids are beautiful!
Rachel W says
I love reading birth stories, and this one was no different! Thank you for sharing it with all of your readers! So glad this was such an “easy” (in comparison!) delivery for you! As a mom, I can also say that no birth is ever just plain easy! They all have their own stories and surprises.
Also, I’m a Richmond Native and was born where you delivered your babies (as noticed by your cup!)!
YoungHouseLove says
So funny! I love that hospital!
xo
s
Julianne says
Beautifully written. Reading your story brought tears of joy & I loved seeing all of your precious photos. You are truly blessed. :O)
Brittany says
I’m all teary over here! How beautiful!
Darcy says
Oh, congratulations again on that sweet boy’s arrival! I was soo relieved that day when we saw the He’s Here, He’s Here post!! I think we were all collectively holding our breaths waiting to hear the news!
Soo happy that you were ready to share his birth story — I love birth stories — sooo much emotion in them! I always love your writing, but on the personal posts like this, I can really feel your emotions — the nerves, the worry — its why we feel so connected to you guys!!
WOW — spinal fluid — that is weird and gross, and yet SOOO cool!! I never felt that -I had an epidural with my first, but not with my 2nd — he came too fast! Sounds like a good problem, but not really – when babies come out to fast, they can still have a lot of fluid in their lungs — so he had some trouble breathing — OMG – SCARY! But amazingly, we did skin to skin and it really helped him!! I think that is one of the most amazing things!!
Last thing – I think EVERY BABY, and EVERY BIRTH is a MIRACLE!!
Sara says
Thank you for sharing, Sherry. I had an unscheduled CS with my son and it still weighs heavy on my heart. Thank goodness we are both fine, but it has been a long year dealing with the emotional roller coaster since I was a super psycho ‘planning’ for a V birth during my whole pregnancy. I often think about whether I will schedule a CS next time. I certainly appreciate the control factor that’s involved in planning it, especially when it’s necessary in light of the risk. thank you for shedding light on it from that perspective. Hugs and kisses to you!
Jill says
I got so emotional reading Teddy’s birth story. It was so scary the first time around. I am glad everything went well this time. Beautiful story. Congratulations on your beautiful family.
Rose says
Congrats! I’m sitting here reading your story, 34 weeks pregnant with my second, with tears running down my face. I too had a traumatic first birth experience and ended up back in the hospital with collapsed lungs 4 days postpartum. This second pregnancy was very unexpected (but such a blessing!) and I’ve been trying to prepare myself for another caesarean in a just a few weeks. I’m hoping it goes as smoothly as yours did! Congratulations to your family!
Nichole says
Absolutely precious! You guys have such a sweet little family!
My daughters birth was not nearly as scary as Clara’s (Sophie was transerse my entire pregnancy until one month before her due date when she flipped upside down properly, sometime between my last prenatal appointment on Monday and Friday when they tried to induce me – my water had broken on Thursday morning but I had had any contractions up until Friday at 8am; they discovered she was back to being transverse again resulting in needing a c-section); I was also oddly cal throughout the whole situation (my husband on the other hand was not nearly as calm, cool or collected haha poor guy)
You’re defiantly a role model to me and you make me think I can possibly have another baby, maybe! haha I think my biggest concern is how I’ll give both children the attention they need and I don’t want Sophie to feel like I don’t love her because I know for a few weeks I won’t be able to pick her up or play as much. She’s 2 now and I know she’d be an big sister, I’m just not sure I can do it yet! I love the picture of the 3 of you in the hospital bed! That one totally gave me a bit of hope haha I must sound crazy, but thank you for being so open about everything!
YoungHouseLove says
You’re so sweet and that’s such a natural fear! I had it too (of Clara feeling displaced, not getting picked up, etc) and talked to friends who said they all had that feeling too! But it’s amazing how excited Clara was to have a new brother. She completely looked at it like a treat for her and immediately started calling him “my baby” – she also felt so special to get to be “a sister!” Even though I couldn’t carry her for those first few weeks we did so much snuggling I don’t think she noticed (towards the end of my pregnancy it was hard to carry her anyway, so maybe that helped to ease the transition?).
xo
s
Beth says
So glad you got the birth you hopes for! Our first was traumatic in its own way too. Our little girl was born 5 weeks early. I didn’t get to hold her, just look at her face quickly before they whisked her off to NICU, where she stayed for 9 days. I didn’t get to hold her for hours or nurse her for a couple days. I’m pregnant again and hoping that this baby has a smooth delivery and I can enjoy him/her right away!
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Beth, I hope it’s amazing this time! Sending lots of love!
xo
s
Carla says
Congratulations and thanks for sharing with those of us who have been and are interested! I think it’s actually pretty cool that you delivered in the same room! I’ve found for myself that when I’ve experienced trauma it has been helpful to eventually have a new experience in the same place; it has provided a sort of overlay to the old memories and promoted healing.
I’m wondering (if you care to share) how quickly the nausea and vomiting you experienced during your entire second pregnancy abated once you delivered? Was it an immediate and noticeable relief? And how has the emotional recovery been… the transition from one to two children and adapting to a different temperament (particularly sleep patterns)?
Once again, congratulations!
YoungHouseLove says
It was crazy how fast morning sickness went away! I had it right up until the morning he came (got sick before we drove to the hospital at home, and pretty close to it again while there). John has a picture of me walking in with my little just-in-case doggy bag. And then once he came it was gone! It was amazing to wake up the next morning and not be sick after nearly a year of that routine! I was also oddly starving after Teddy was born. The nurses told me I was one of the only patients they knew who had a full meal on the day of surgery (I guess most people just nibble on ice pops and soup broth – which I think I did after Clara came).
xo
s
Maria says
Your not the only one with a stubborn spine! My baby was born in July this year. The anesthesiologist had to redo my epidural 3 different times over 5 hours because I could feel contractions on alternating left and right sides. The third time was the charm because it finally worked just in time for me to start pushing!
I’m really glad everything went smoothly this time around for you! Congrats on Teddy!
Rebecca says
Thanks for sharing! Good for you for not freaking about the same room. I didn’t even have that traumatic of a delivery and being in the same room again would probably send me into a panic attack–even if I wasn’t pregnant.
Congratualtions again! Teddy (and Clara) is (are) adorable in that last picture!
Ashley says
Well now I’m bawling while waiting in the pickup line at my daughters school. Love your courage, so proud of y’all.
Rhonda K says
What a great story! Can’t make it through a baby story on tv without tearing up – and now your story. God is good!
Amanda R. says
Thank you so much for writing this. I had to have an emergency c-section for my first child, too. It was 13 months ago and I still struggle thinking about it. Like you, I started labor naturally, but my son’s heart rate wouldn’t stay up. After it dropped to the 30s for the 3rd time, the midwife called for an immediate c-section. There’s nothing in the world that can explain how that actually feels. My husband and I have talked about having a second child. I know I will struggle with the exact same fears as you. I think “putting it on the calendar” will definitely help ease those fears. Your paragraph about being wheeled down the hall and having a panic attack is exactly one of my fears. Leaving my crying husband was by far one of the worst moments of my life. All this to say thank you SO SO much for writing this out. Knowing we share some of the same fears and you were able to get through it gives me hope that I’ll be able to have another child…some day. :)
Michelle says
Thank you so very much for sharing xox
LaToya says
They have the same beautiful eyes, congratulations! It made me tear up as I remembered my own birth story- I have a toddler girl and a baby son too.
Laura C says
Such a lovely blog post. But I have one question for the medical professionals out there…. Why don’t they believe you when you tell them that IVs, blood draws and such are tough for someone? I gave blood and got a huge hematoma and don’t even get me started on IVs! The medical folks look at you when it happens like you never warned them. Sigh.
Such cuties you have!
Erin says
Such a sweet story. I am so glad that everything went smoothly… now to dry my eyes.
Missy boeke says
As I am sitting here in tears, I want to thank you for sharing your story. I have followed your blog for years and this is just one of the many reasons why. I am pregnant with my second daughter, and will most likely have another csection. After a rough delivery and eventual csection with my first, It has been weighing heavily on my mind. Thank you for being so open.
Melinda ke says
The photo of you, Teddy and Clara in the bed is so sweet..I love Clara’s expression! :)
Cherie says
SO happy for you and your beautiful family! Read about your first scary experience and so happy that Clara is fine and so are you. We found out in our last month of pregnancy of our second child…a boy…that he had a very severe heart defect, requiring a heart transplant. To make a very long story very short…when they induced me, the cord came out first…they needed to know NOW whether to do a C-section or not…I said YES even tho we knew the baby wasn’t going to live long…but I HAD to meet him…and literally within 5 minutes they had me in the OR, OUT like a light and Colin was born!! My hubby was not there either…he’d gone to get breakfast while they were inducing me….and then they paged him over the intercom…he was frantic…by the time he got back upstairs I was in OR and he had no way of knowing what was going on. I learned 5 years later that he thought I’d died….can u imagine???? Poor guy!! So we did have to come home to an empty nursery and pack up all of the clothes, etc. Thankfully we had our 18 month old son home waiting for us :) Two years later we did have a beautiful baby girl. God is good :)
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Cherie, I’m so sorry for your loss and can only imagine how hard that day must have been.
xo
s
Caitlin says
4/16 is my husband’s birthday!! Great day to be born :)
Janet says
Such a sweet story that you have shared with virtual strangers. Many wishes of happiness and peace to your lovely little family.
Heather says
Precious! What a beautiful story and a beautiful little boy! I love hearing your experience, it made me cry reading it. Birth is an amazing miracle, and I’m glad it went smoothly. I’m so happy for the four of you! Congratulations!
EM says
*tears* So sweet.
Jess @ Crunchy Hot Mama says
Tears!! Thank you for sharing your story of Teddy. I should have known you were going to do a post about it ;)
So glad all went well and you were able to keep your humor. I couldn’t let myself go through another (emergency) C-section, so I opted to birth at home. It did have some scary moments but it was what I needed to get over Emma’s birth 3 years ago and finally ‘let it go’.
I can’t believe how big he is either…time sure does fly with #2! And I have to admit, I see how you two are over the moon for him, he’s so stinkin’ cute :D
Here’s my post if you’re interested:
http://crunchyhotmama.com/2013/10/28/having-a-home-birth/
xo,
Jess
Lilian Garcia says
You and your family are all so lovely and pretty and nice! I love to read about your life and am always giving you my best wishes of good luck in everything! xoxo !
JC says
I’m so glad you had a good experience. I always tell the medical team that the iv is the worst part of the whole experience for me! I have had 3 babies and used all 3 ORs so if we have a 4th we will be to repeat status. It think it is normal to panic/get anxious when separated – I have had 3 normal c-sections(1st was breech) and I hate when we are separated. I am jealous of your hospital allowing skin to skin in the OR – ours doesn’t despite being a well ranked facility. I miss the first hold and first bath and it stinks. It is 30 -60 minutes til I get to hold them and they actually take baby and dad out while they finish the section. We also aren’t allowed to have cameras in the OR. We don’t have any photos of my 3rd until she is half a day old.
He is big already! Time goes so fast. Watching siblings together is amazing.
Mary says
Thanks for sharing so much of your personal life with us. Maybe it’s my own pregnancy hormones, I’m due in March with my first, but this made me cry.
Aoife says
So so glad it all went so well for you. During your pregnancy I kept thinking that although pregnancy is an exciting and wonderful time you guys must have been anxious after Clara’s traumatic birth. I don’t know if I could have done it had I your experiencé first time round. I can totally understand how you felt about being in control of the plan!
Corey says
Such a sweet birth story. Thanks for sharing! I am so happy for you guys and your kiddos are just adorable!
CrunchyCake says
I was a new reader (and a new mom) when I read Clara’s birth story. I cried. Reading your second baby’s birth story also made me tear up, but this time not so gut-wrenching, more just happy for you. The weird part – I don’t enjoy pregnancy or labor yet reading about it from other moms makes me wish for it a third time. Tell me I’m not the only one…Congrats – your little guy is adorable and looks like his big sis in the pictures.
sam says
Thanks for sharing this. I’m glad everyone is safe and happy :)
Peg says
Absolutely beautiful…And don’t ever apologize for the miracle of birth, because that’s exactly what it is…a miracle
Angel says
My story is very similar to yours. My first baby was an emergency c-section. I had the same experience of the hospital bed bumping into walls as we rushed down the hall. My second and third were scheduled c-sections also and much calmer and much easier to recover from
People forget that the goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. You don’t get bonus points for doing it any certain way.
You have a sweet, wonderful story and two beautiful children.
Jacqueline says
Thank you for sharing. Similar to you, I had an emergency c-sect with my first and will be having a scheduled c-sect for my 2nd in November. I’m starting to feel nervous about it and your story has calmed me.
Christine says
Congrats again! I had my little girl just 13 days after you! So it was great to follow your pregnancy alongside my own. How tired are you though?! They are so cute, but can be quite a hand full. Also quick question, is the 2nd easier than the 1st? I have heard that and was wondering if that held true for you.
YoungHouseLove says
I think Teddy and Clara are such different babies, so some things about Teddy are easier (and being a second-time mom seems to give me more confidence) while other things about him are more tricky than Clara. I love having a little guy to snuggle though! Life is good with a sweet little man around, that’s for sure. And congrats on your little girl!
xo
s
Kelly Mock says
So sweet! Congratulations!
A Golden Tulip says
Teddy is the cutest, i feel like his eyes are speaking to me..he is gonna be a charmer…
xo
http://agoldentulip.blogspot.com/
Laura says
Oh how I love a good birth story!! So beautifully written, thank you for sharing. I was in tears from the image of you being rolled away from John. I’m sure so many of us connect with this and have a memory of being rolled away from our husbands for one procedure or another. Congratulations on a happy and healthy baby!
Jenna says
Loved reading about Teddy’s birth story…it feels like yesterday that I was reading Clara’s!
On another note, it looks like someone is using a picture of your last kitchen to sell their barstools.
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/for/4622763147.html
YoungHouseLove says
No way! Off to check it out!
xo
s
Mia says
…even though we’ve never met, I worried about you and so appreciate your wonderful share of both births. Bless your wonderful family!
Angela says
Thanks for sharing Teddy’s birth story, Sherry. I love hearing birth stories because they truly are miracles. I’m still amazed after having each of my 3 kiddos, and then to watch them grow each day is wonderful and amazing and miraculous, too.