One of my favorite things about blogging is keeping it real. Even around the new year when the whole “be the perfect person/wife/family” voices can kick in, I try to fight the good fight and remember that authentic = awesome. And perfect = most likely impossible. So if our house is a mess I’ll make a video to prove it (without even putting my bra away first). If we don’t know how the heck to tackle a project, we’ll admit it (like this). If we fail miserably at an undertaking, we’ll blog alllll about it (like this and this, just to name a few).
We actually love being a DIY diary that’s literally about the good, the bad, and the ugly – because a blog that’s only about the good kind of feels like it’s only telling half of the story. We’re just regular folks attempting to do regular DIY things with a real-person budget while learning as we go. We don’t have any formal training. Five years ago we painted all of our trim the wrong finish, didn’t own a power drill, and our house looked like this:
When we started this blog we were literally DIY beginners, just trying to figure out how to hang curtains and get a good deal on appliances. And although we’ve slowly gained some hands-on experience over the last 4+ years of this blogging thing, I thought I’d start the year (January 17th is still sort of the beginning of the year, right?) by saying a bunch of things out loud to the internet at large that might surprise you. Or maybe not if you really know me.
#1. I don’t have the perfect marriage. It’s amazing how many people ask if John and I ever fight. Is it possible to be married to someone for nearly five years and not fight? Dude, we fight like the best of them! Not loudly in front of Clara, but we definitely can get into it. We’re individuals. Individuals who love each other, but we definitely each have conviction and strong willed tendencies (hello, I’m Italian and from New Jersey). And those convictions and strong willed tendencies can definitely lead to heated discussions, adamant disagreements, and full blown arguments (about anything from a parenting decision to a home improvement snafu). We’re a pretty normal couple I think. We love each other like crazy, but sometimes in the stress of renovating or raising a toddler the moment gets the best of us and we snap. But when we do, we try to remind ourselves that we’re in this together. We both have the same goals (a healthy and well adjusted daughter, and beautiful and safe home, to make each other happy, etc). We’re a team. A sometimes dysfunctional or crabby team, but a team none the less.
#2. I don’t have the perfect child. Sure, there are amazing things about Clara, like how good of a night sleeper she is and how much she loves singing and dancing (and eating funny things like hummus and pickles). But as anyone else who has a 20 month old kid can attest – they’re not all sunshine and roses. Clara cries, teethes, gets mad, throws food, rips magazines, has tantrums, and does all those other things that toddlers do. So yeah, I deal with the same “oh man, she’s sick” or “ack, she’s screaming” or “ohemgee she just threw up an entire pumpkin muffin all over the car seat” issues that every other mom deals with. And let’s not talk about my labor (scariest day of my life) or the 14 months of breastfeeding (I loved it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it took work, energy, and dedication – especially when I was painting and DIYing between those feedings). It’s a good thing she’s totally worth it. I love that bean to pieces. She’s not perfect, but she’s perfect for us.
#3. I make design mistakes (and life mistakes) – all the time! Our rooms and our lives are in a constant state of flux (our first house took us 4.5 years to finish, and we’ve only been here a little over a year) – so sometimes we’re still feeling around in the dark and we make the wrong call. And later we see the light and say “umm, what were we thinking?!” and course correct. I think the key to recovering from mistakes in general (decor-related or otherwise) is not to be married to that mistake. And to attempt to right your wrong. Say you buy the wrong sized rug but don’t realize it for a while (like we did in our living room). Once time passed and we figured out what could be improved, we decided to reuse the old one in another room (or craigslist it) and save our pennies to upgrade it. That approach helped us (and the room) move forward. If we ever become frozen in fear of a mistake that we’ve made (or the fear that we’ll make one) that’s when a room stagnates. We’d never get past decorating mistakes (or life mistakes) if we didn’t learn/adapt/evolve along the way. Our goal is for our house (and ourselves) to always be changing and growing. No freezing in place allowed. Because you usually can’t get around a life obstacle or a DIY debacle if you’re just stuck there standing still.
#4. I’m awkward and probably less cute, stylish, or “put together” than you think. I have paint in my hair and under my nails 24/7 (well, this week it’s grout). My shirts are all stretched out from breastfeeding (yup, still haven’t replaced those). I am covered in dog fur and/or accidentally sporting some smear of jelly/cream cheese/humus five days out of seven. Seriously. Someone chime in here who has met us. We get comments like “I’d freak out and embarrass myself if I ever met you” but I’ve got you covered. I won’t even notice you freaking out over my intense weirdness. Once I spun around at Target and screamed “Chiiiiiistmas stuff is already out!!!” while holding two wooden trees up to my face like Cindy Lou Who to John. But it wasn’t John. It was this woman I’d never seen before standing there staring at me with a baby in her cart. So I tried to smile and quietly make my way to another aisle and she said “Oh my gosh I love your blog” …. and I nearly died of embarrassment. Not only had I been “that crazy person” in front of a stranger, it was someone who “knows” me. So I stuttered and tried to talk about her cute baby and then John and Clara came to my rescue and I stumbled away while mentally kicking myself in the face. Yup, I’m that awkward.
#5. Sometimes I get nervous and insecure about our future. Not gonna lie, being a “small business” (and even more random than that, being a “professional blogger”) is hardly a job with health insurance and a 401K (more on that here and here). We just try to have faith that we’ll end up somewhere ok since we never thought we’d be here five years ago… and here we are. Sure it helps that we saved up a just-in-case cushion (to keep us afloat for 6-9 months) before John left his day job when Clara was born, but I’d be lying if I didn’t shout “yes – we get nervous and uncertain and insecure about what lies ahead sometimes!”
#6. I roll my eyes at myself. I get it. I really do. I am fully aware that I’m obnoxiously enthusiastic. My blog puns often make me gag a little. I’m the less cool version of that adorkable Zooey Deschanel. You know, without the good hair and the great voice and the comedic timing. I’m her half sister Gooey or something. So although my sunny demeanor might make you want to stick a spork in my eye, know that I’m fully aware that I’m annoying – and sometimes I try to rein it in – but I usually just let my freak flag fly. Why? I figure that blogging is all about being yourself and owning it and sharing your life in an authentic way. So I’m not reserved and cool and collected and refined. I’m hyper and giddy and nutty and weird. And 4+ years later that formula just works for us. So gosh darn it, I might call presents “prezzies” or make a crack joke. That’s just how $herdog rolls.
#7. My house is usually a disaster. At any given time, our frame wall might look like this…
… but our sunroom probably looks like this…
There’s always at least one giant pile of something-to-be-sorted somewhere. And don’t even get me started on the playroom. That room is out of control.
So I guess the point of all that soul baring is to assure you that I most definitely do not have it all figured out. I’m just a chick from New Jersey who started a blog who sometimes forgets to take her contacts out at night (I know, I’m so bad). I’m that gal who discovers that I have strawberry cream cheese inexplicably smeared all over the left side of my ear in line at Target. True story. I don’t know it all, and I don’t have it all, and I’m so thankful to be right where I am. Perfection is kinda overrated anyway, right? I’m many things, but most of all: I’m a work in progress. Kinda like our house.
Julie says
You’re real. That’s why I like to read your blog–you make me laugh out loud because I’ve had the same things happen to me. And, they’re much funnier when happening to someone else :)!!
Patti says
Aww, we love you Gooey, completely as is!
Marissa says
Awesome post! Thank you for being yourself Sherry. :)
Ashley @ DesignBuildLove says
I just have to say… I love this post. Real life = real amazingness. Nothing is perfect, but we wouldn’t appreciate it if it was. You and John truly seem like amazing and amazingly normal people and that is a feat in and of itself. Congratulation on where you’ve been, where you’ve come, and where you’ll be in the future. :)
Katie says
I love this post Sherri; I mean $herdog! Thanks for keepin’ it real for us! :)
Kristina Gulino says
Thank you for being so transparent. The biggest “curse” of the blogging world among females is that we are flooded with blogs and images of women who are “perfect”. Of course, no girl wants to post a photo of their messy house, mismatched socks or bad hair day, so it makes sense. But it creates a sense of false hope sometimes for readers (guilty)! And p.s. – totally have a picture of my friend and I on vacation and we didn’t realize my bra was lying on the counter in the photo. Hooray!
Kristina
Something 2 Write About
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, hooray for accidental bra pics (and videos)!
xo,
s
Dinka says
THANK YOU.
Not only does this make me love your blog all the more (if that were even possible in the first place), it’s the best reminder that this is why you guys have been my go-to as I’ve been navigating the perils of fixing up my own first home. You are the BEST!!!
Megan says
I love how you guys always keep it real, thanks for sharing. And I’m so feeling you on being awkward – I have not once but three times worn my shirt inside out to church and not realized it until my husband sweetly laughed at me at home…seriously, sometimes I have no brain – but that is what a toddler will do to you :), or maybe that’s just my excuse.
YoungHouseLove says
I blame shirts for looking the same when they’re inside out. They should make them neon pink or something so moms like us notice!
xo,
s
Megan says
Sherry it’s the authentic you – and posts like this – that I love the most! Thanks for reminding us all to embrace our true selves, quirks and all. Your enthusiasm for life isn’t annoying to me, it’s inspirational. The world needs more people who can laugh at themselves.
Jodie Kirk says
I still think you both are superhuman. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard you work for everything you have. One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to be less lazy. I could get so much done! Haha!
Thanks for your endless inspiration. I’m currently picking out curtains for my living room and bedroom and I find myself consulting your pics a lot!
Amanda says
Sherry, I absolutely love this post. I am so glad that you’re yourself! I’m also the girl who screams in excitement when I notice the Christmas stuff is out. Or you know, when I find a bottle of lemonade in the fridge that I had forgotten about. And I’ve been called everything from fun, to interesting, to eccentric, to weird. I get compliments on my “sunshiney-ness” and I get called annoying. But I’m just being me and I think that’s a good thing. It’s great that you aren’t afraid to be yourself.
And a difficult thing for me to confess: Because I’m the way I just described, I sometimes worry that I’m not going to find someone who will love me, not just despite these things but because of these things. (I’m 22) I worry that I will annoy anyone that I’m around for that much time. So, the fact that you and John seem to have such a great marriage is really comforting to me.
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Amanda. Your comment touched me in ways I can’t explain. You will find the best guy ever. And he will love watching you happy dance when you discover a surprise bottle of lemonade in the fridge. Just hold out and never settle. I was dating someone really seriously before I met John (for years and years) and I knew he was a fine guy and I really liked him… but… he just wasn’t IT. So I did the big scary thing and broke up with him (even though our families knew and loved each other and it would have been so easy to just stay). And then I met John. And I knew he was it. Like a month in. And we were engaged eight months in and married in two years. Five years of marriage later, I truly believe John was my reward for doing the risky scary thing and walking away instead of settling. So glad I held out!
xo,
s
Lindsay says
Oh my gosh, Amanda. What Sherry said! You will totally find the one for you! I could have written Sherry’s comment almost exactly for my same situation. I dated my college boyfriend for 6.5 years (that’s a LONG time!) who was also the nicest guy before FINALLY being able to break up with him. It was the hardest thing ever. And I ended up marrying my coworker who turned into my best friend who tells me I’m the cutest thing every single day of my life. Like Sherry said about John, Jake was just IT for me. I’d even known him for a year and a half at work and he really had nothing to do with me breaking up with my boyfriend. It was only after that that we got together. Lived together after 6.5 months of dating, engaged after 4 more months and married 10 months after that. You will find THE one for you and it will be the best. Never ever settle. And at 22, you’ve got plenty of time!
Amanda says
Sherry and Lindsay, thank you both so much for your replies. I’m bookmarking this so I can re-visit your comments. I know I have plenty of time and I know I shouldn’t settle, it’s just tough to keep in mind sometimes :)
Katie says
Wow Sherry, that story really hits home for me! Me and my boyfriend of 3.5 years are on the rocks since his relocation to NYC, and I’m in the DC area. Not only the relocation, he’s nice and a great guy, but there may be something missing. Shouldn’t I know after 3.5 years that he is it? That he is the ONE or not?? It’s just an inkling that something may be missing, but how do you know? I’m scared to lose what I have, and take the HUGE HUGE scary leap to see what else is out there! How do you decide? It’s been driving me crazy since he moved 2 months ago!
Amanda I feel for you SO much! I’m totally scared to be alone for the rest of my life and have no one appreciate my quirkiness and hyperness!
YoungHouseLove says
Hmm, it’s really hard for me to “define” but if you think “there may be something missing” maybe there is? The easiest way I can explain that I knew John was IT was that we spent so much time together and he still wanted to see me even more – and vice versa. And I distinctly remember thinking “it can’t be this great – the other shoe is going to drop any second now” – I was literally waiting for something to go wrong or for John to not really be the guy I thought he was and it just never happened. Finally after a few years I was like “ok, stop waiting for something weird to come out about him- he’s good.” Haha. I do know that being alone is hard and scary but so great! Living alone in NYC is one of my proudest accomplishments and truly made me the girl I was when I met John (more confident, not afraid to be weird and crazy, etc). Hope it helps!
xo,
s
Katie says
Haha Sherri! Straight up therapy girl going on! Not only inspiration to dec out my tiny apartment, but straighten out my life! Loves it! Thanks for the inspiration!
Colleen in MA says
This blog post is equal to the benefit of being months in therapy for low self esteem! Seriously, thank you for the honestly. It is one of the (many) reasons you have so many fans. And “not to be married to that mistake” is my new favorite saying. xoxoxo
Lindsey says
Im so glad I saw this. I tend to get a little “I need everything to be perfect!” sometimes, and its good to know that, inspite of it all, no one is perfect. I believe I drive my husband nuts with it! Heres a recent conversation:
Husband: Why do you need to repaint the livingroom AGAIN?
Me: Because I need it to look more like this! *holds up the laptop showing a pic of your living room*
Husband: There is nothing wrong with our livingroom
Me: See, shows what you know!
Thanks for bring me back to earth! lol
Lisa says
Thank you so much for #6. I’m awkward and impulsive and overly enthusiastic. I can’t count the number of times that people have told me to calm down or chill out. It’s kind of nice to know that you’re a little insecure about being so peppy and passionate, too. As a fan of your blog for a few years now, I’ve loved reading your puns and enthusiasm and, just so you know, I’ve never rolled my eyes at your entries, only nodded and smiled big and sometimes laughed out loud.
Kim says
I really liked this post. I know that’s what I like so much about your blog – that you keep things real. Thanks.
Kitty says
Thanks so much – you made me feel like MAYBE not everyone else out there has it all together except me….really needed it today!
JR says
Gooey,
Thanks for the reminder that perfection and constantly having things ‘together’ is unrealistic, kinda dull and incredibly irritating to others. To my disbelief, I’m often met with the comment of “oh, your home must be so beautiful! I’d love to see it!” because of my profession. While that’s super-flattering, it’s so far from the truth that it’s laughable. Rather than puff up with pride or swell with joy when I get these comments, I stutter, my fingers start to twitch uncontrollably and I and get anxious as I wonder what my small dogs have either ripped apart, partially eaten or decided to sleep on while I’m out. I stress about these things until I remember the best parts of the homes that I loved to visit when I was little. It wasn’t the furniture, the beautiful wallcoverings or the art; it was always the homes of families who could sit on their furniture, play with their pets on the rug and have a snack somewhere other than a designated area with a hovering mother waiting to vacuum up any crumbs.
On any given day I’m happy if I’m able to leave the house with two matching shoes having not febrezed myself because I ran out of perfume. My freak flag flaps in the wind.
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, I love it. And you’re so right about the best houses when you’re growing up are the ones where you aren’t afraid to break stuff and can actually sit on the furniture and play with pets and eat in the living room!
xo,
s
Robin says
Awesome post – this is why we love you guys! Keep up the great work.
Gwen says
For the record, $herdog, I NEVER read blogs before yours. I purused pictures on blogs so fast that my husband would often snap “how can you read that fast?” Well, I wasn’t reading I was just finding something worth looking at. Then (cue the harp) I found your blog. It’s read-able, it’s me, it’s my life (well kinda), it’s relatable. WELL DONE John and Sherry! And, I will be buying my first blog book (yours) thanks to your awesomeness too!
Kayla @ Your Day Simplified says
How did you find out it was strawberry cream cheese? Did you…taste it??? :)
YoungHouseLove says
Hahaha – there was a telltale pinkish tint. No tasting. More like mortified wiping with a random balled up paper towel that was inexplicably in my purse.
xo,
s
Susan Clark says
Not to get all grammer nazi on you but I believe it is WE moms not US moms.
YoungHouseLove says
Haha- you’re right!
xo,
s
Erica says
Just a fantastic post. My bloggy Pinterest world had become a lot too “perfect”. Everyone is so caught up in the picture being perfect, myself included, but zooming out is so much better. Thanks for the authenticity.
Colleen in MA says
Funny you say that Erica – I was just thinking the other day how my Pinterest boards have almost become intimidating to me because of their ideas of “perfection”! I’m becoming more thoughtful of what I repin now – if it isn’t realistic, or realistically positive, or bring a genuine smile to my face, I don’t repin it.
Sara says
I just found your blog a couple days ago and since I have been stalking it like crazy and calling my boyfriend in here to look at some of your projects. Saying things like ” This gives me faith that we can do this when we finally buy a house” And I must say ya’ll are the cutest family ever and being “perfect” would take away from that.
Jenna at Homeslice says
Oh Sherry. Thank you for being real. Did I say that loud enough? THANK YOU. It’s so easy to show only half the story (as you said) but for myself, I don’t feel like that’s fair to myself or to my (wonderful! and few!) readers. Anyway, I’m still working on it… but thank you for being so honest and sharing so much of your personal life. That’s why we all love you guys anyway. Have a great day!
kristen says
i’m typically a lurker hereabouts, since i figure once you’ve read oh, one- or two-thousand comments on your daily blog posts, you probably don’t require – or desire – much more feedback.
but i love just about everything about your blog, especially when you take a break to “keep it real.” thanks for inspiring this girl daily, & making sure now & then that she doesn’t feel too inferior.
btw, i’m a naturally obnoxiously enthusiastic person, too, so i utterly heart that about you, $herdog!!
lovin’ it all [especially the “warts”],
kc from austin :)
Nicole says
i love your blog but THIS is my all time favorite post ever!!
thanks for keeping it real!!!
Denyelle says
I feel your pain! I am a bit OCD when it comes to the home design bug and I always wish my home looked like what we see in your blog or in magazines. The reality of it is that while the major elements are there, I have kids and my design dreams also compete with Legos, Lalaloopsy, and whatever other toy didn’t get put away rolling about on the living room floor. I am awkward, paint -in-my hair kooky and I love hearing that you feel like this sometimes too…(I mean, is it wrong to say “delicious” when you find a fabric you like in the store? :)
YoungHouseLove says
Haha, if standing alone in the fabric aisle stroking something and muttering “delicious” is wrong I don’t want to be right. Haha.
xo,
s
jeannette says
ohhh grrl you are sooooooooooo not that idiot zooey deschanel!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl
not. not. not. never say her name again.
Becky says
This might have been one of my favorite posts! OK, maybe not my absolute favorite… because I’m in the process of recreating the office desktop you made in your dining room in my basement, but still…. I love it!
Laura says
HA! This post made me laugh out loud numerous times. Perfect real & honest post. And to be honest back- I recently moved to Richmond from the Midwest and a friend back home said “if you ever run into Sherry from YHL would you ask to take a picture or run and hide??” before my answer was run and hide… but now that I know you act ridiculous in Target over Christmas stuff too, I may just say “HI!” Be prepared to be called $herdog in public…
YoungHouseLove says
Do it! I dare you!
Brandi says
This was a beautiful empowering post! It made me laugh (how many times have I spoken aloud to a person I thought was my husband but ended up being a stranger), but it also made me admire you even more. Thanks for writing it!
Kylene says
I love your blog and your authenticity is what keeps me coming back! If this was some stuffy interior design blog it wouldn’t be nearly as inspirational and I would probably get stuck in fear mode, nervous about making things perfect, instead of going for it! :) Thanks for all you do to inspire us!
Olivia says
Thanks so much for this post, Sherry! I’ve been keeping up with the blog since June 2011 and have never left a comment before (except for the prize give-aways :) but I had to say something about this one.
As I followed these blog posts, I definitely experienced feelings of jealousy: they are so talented! so productive! so artistic! Sometimes I considered not checking this blog anymore because it was producing these feelings. But when I didn’t check, I missed it and wondered what was happening in YHL land.
Finally I said to myself, “This is crazy! Even though everything seems hunky dory for them, no one is perfect – they must have their struggles too. Why am I beating myself up about not being as talented at DIY stuff?”
One of the reasons I like this blog so much is that you are both so talented at what you do – taking great pictures, interior design, trying new things, coming up with creative ideas, maintaining a sunny and upbeat demeanor, marketing and organizing a massive online project. These are all things that I truly admire which is why I was having the jealousy problem.
But I realized that rather than feel bad about the fact that I don’t have these skills, I could appreciate it for what it is – two people doing something that they love and excelling at it. Rather than feeling bad about that, I should use that inspiration to motivate me – to do what I do to the best of my ability.
Anyway, to read this post and be reminded that YES, you are real people with flaws and everything is not perfect all the time was definitely reassuring. I’m really impressed with all that you guys have accomplished and wish you lots of success!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw thanks Olivia! That’s so sweet.
xo,
s
Sarah says
How refreshing! Thank you! :):)
Heather says
Thank you, Gooey – and thanks for sharing the downs as well as the ups. That’s what keeps the rest of us inspired to keep trying!
Tricia says
I LOVED THIS POST!!!! I love seeing all your projects, your house coming along, and so on, and but I also like getting to know you. :-)
Rebecca of Beck's Chic Life says
Thanks for keeping it real! It makes you even cooler! HA!
Renee says
Best.post.ever. Thank you!
Cindy says
I reallyyy enjoy your blog and have learned so much from it. But I think this post is probably my favorite so far. Somehow, you just became a real person to me…not that you ever seemed fake before. Press on!!
YoungHouseLove says
Aw schmanks guys. You’re all so sweet.
xo,
s
Donna says
What a perfect day for me to read this great post. I try to workout- baby starts crying. Try to clean the house bc it’s a mess, toddler wakes up sick, so here I am in bed with both of them, house a mess and I start looking at photos of your perfect kitchen. But then I see your post about all the not perfect things and it makes me feel so much better :)
YoungHouseLove says
Oh Donna, I can totally relate. If it makes you feel better I haven’t worked out in… hmm… maybe five years? Smooch those sweet kiddos of yours for me (and Clara).
xo,
s
Katie says
I just laughed and cried all in the span of 5 minutes. Thanks for giving another barely-30 mom and is-there-a-future-in-this?-small-business-owner with a house full of piles and tantrums a breath of fresh air. <3
Kristin R. says
“Gooey” – love that! :)
Katie says
Thank you. It’s easy to get wrapped up in trying to be perfect all the time. It’s nice to see someone openly admit that they aren’t.
Marian says
Sherry,
This may be my favortie post you’ve ever written!
Kristen says
and that is EXACTLY why i read your blog.
Christine says
It’s posts like this that remind me why I read you on my way to work, when I need design inspo, and when I simply need a pick-me-up.
Thanks so much for being a daily inspiration in so many ways!!
Jordan says
Love it! Best. Post. Ever. And you are really funny. I couldn’t help laughing out loud several times. I suppose being in the same stage of parenting helps. Cream Cheese on your ear=awesome!
Jenn T. says
Dear Gooey,
Thank you for sharing this hilariously honest post. I was literally cracking up in a restaurant while reading your refreshingly honest post about your real life, not the glamourized (is that even a word?) one that we readers sometimes imagine it be.
To real life, for realz.
Lauren H says
Love this post so much!!! I read your blog every day and really enjoy your tutorials but most of all I LOVE posts like these!
Thanks guys!
Amanda Robinosn says
Thank you for your honesty!!! I don’t feel so out of place anymore!!! Love your blog and you guys!!! You Rock!!!