When we’re painting we talk about all sorts of weird things that we probably wouldn’t otherwise get around to. And while painting the bedroom we got to the topic of “names that our parents almost gave us.” Get this. My mom wanted to name me Gina. We would have been John & Gina. That made us titter. Not sure if it’s a had to be there thing though. Either way, John’s dad’s choice of names takes the cake. He wanted to name John… wait for it… Lars.
Lars Petersik.
How funny is that? If I had seen tall dirty blond John at work and asked a coworker “oh who’s that?” and heard them respond with ” that’s Lars Petersik, he’s an account manager.” Let’s just say I would have been all “niiiiice to meeeeeeet you Laaaaars” with that over-enunciated-because-I’m-not-sure-you’re-great-at-deciphering-super-speedy-NY-talkers connotation. The same long drawn out delivery I use with my only-speaks-Italian grandmother. It would have been hysterical. John probably never would have let me live it down. Or asked me to marry him a year-ish later.
But that’s not all. Apparently John’s dad also wanted to name John “Vector.” Because he liked math. How I was able to continue painting with tears of laughter streaming down my face is beyond me. So it got us wondering what you guys were almost named. Come on… someone out there can beat Vector and Lars, right?
Dana says
I have a friend, Leslee, who is named after both her grandfathers, Les and Lee. Had she been a boy her mother would’ve named her Brock Lee. Yes, like broccoli! Blame it on pregnancy brain, but that NEVER occurred to her mother until Leslee was old enough to point it out to her.
Julia says
Boy or girl my Dad had somehow gotten my mom to agree to the name Buckminster. She later decided that was a bad idea, and got him to agree to Dina if I was a girl. Luckily for all of us, I am a girl who looks nothing like a Dina.
Kelly says
My dad has always had a terrible sense of humor that is bases almost entirely on bad puns. He wanted to name me Pawn and my brother Stock. Our last name is Buroker.
Thank GOD my mom put her foot down!
Gena says
If I was a boy.. my name would have been PALMER.. eeek.
ashley @ sunnysideshlee.com says
My parents almost named me Danielle. Not funny but I did not a girl that DID get named Keri after the Keri lotion. My mom switched from Danielle to Ashley because while she was in labor she was watching Happy Days and the Fonz had a gf with a daughter named Ashley and my mom liked that a whole lot better. HAAAAAAY!
Radhika Paruchuri says
I know someone from work whose name is April Showers. I am not sure if Showers is her Madien name or married name. What are the odds that your name is April and you marry a guy with last name showers if it is her married name. If it is her madien name, I am sure she had tough time in school.
Amy says
Here’s some fun ones:
Neighbor across the street’s sister’s maiden name was Bright, but married a Mr. Dull.
A friend of mine was name Windy Weidner (bad enough) but married and now she is Windy Bottoms. And she is a teacher.
Went to school with Sunshine Thrower, Sunshine Slavens, and Tyler Dye (Ty-Dye).
My friend’s sister works for a Children’s Hospital and she keeps a list of all the crazy names people name their kids and OMG! You should see this real list of names:
Here are some of my favorites:
Sh**head (pronounced Shu-thed)
Gonorrhea (mom didn’t speak English)
Syphilis
I wish I had that full list for you. You would cringe.
kodie says
with two older sisters, i was “supposed” to be a boy. so my parents picked “Colby” for their son…but then got another daughter. i was tragically unnamed for 3 days until my parents had the inspiration to name me Kodie. a bit lacking in creativity, if you ask me!
my married last name is Timberlake and my father in law loves to regale me with stories of how my husband was “almost” named Forest Woodson. har har.
Katie says
My dad’s name is Dennis Eugene. When I was little, my parents told me that they were originally going to name me Eugenia, after my dad’s middle name. I made the mistake of believing them. :)
It wasn’t until I was about 25 and recounting the story to my husband that my parents spoke up and told me it was all a joke, and that they had no idea I had continued to believe the story for all those years!
Mindy says
I really think Vector takes the cake. Really? Hilarious. My husband’s name is Raul {which is great to hear people pronounce, you get so many different names lol}, and he has no middle name. His parents, being the hippies they are :) decided to let him choose his OWN middle name. However, they forgot to tell him this until he was like, 23. So his initials are simply RC; no middle initial. He loves math too, so maybe Vector would be in the running if he ever decides to choose! Haha!
Tara says
No oddball name for me but my family is all Ts (Tim, Terry, Travis, Tara) and my husband and his siblings are all Ks (Krista, Karen, Kerry, Keith). We are expecting our first baby and will not be continuing the tradition (though his sisters did with their children).
My mom knew a family with the last name “Cane” growing up…the daughters were named Sugar and Candy.
My dad is a teacher and had family at his school with the last name “Stump” and all the kids were named tree-related things, like Branch, Twig, Leaf, etc.
Jen says
My brother got my dad’s favorite name. My sister got my mom’s favorite name. But I’m the oldest and got no favorite name, just the most popular one.
I do know a family with three girls: Mercedes, Infinity, and Alexus.
Lia says
I’m no Lars, but I think I can top it in the female realm.
My mom was torn between naming me Zsa Zsa (as in Gabor) or Cricket (I guess as in the animal? sport? wireless provider?).
Thank God my dad stepped in and said all his children’s names had to start with the same letter as our last.
Sandye says
I saw some fun last-name marriages. Here’s one from my family tree: Edwin Cook married Ellen Kitchens.
My mother, a native German, wanted to name me Katja, but she worried that I would spend the rest of my life spelling it for others (also my Texan dad has problems saying it, which I learned after we named our cat “Catch-ya”). She then decided on Michelle, which was one of the only English names she knew, from the Beatles’ song, but my dad’s sister planned to adopt a girl and name her Michelle. Finally the families agreed that my cousin and I would share Michelle as a middle name. At that point, mom let daddy name me; he chose Sandra (it wasn’t until years later, when I waslooking in his old high school yearbooks, that I learned he named me after a girl he used to date).
My German grandmother, however, can’t say Sandra (because of the “r”) so they call me Sandy (except for my dad, who sticks with Sandra). My aunt Sigrid thought my name was boring, so she added the “e” on the end to spice it up.
Wow…that was a long story of information probably no one will be interested in. :)
Casey says
My mom wanted to name me Casperella.
Dad wanted Ursula.
At some point it was decided that Mom got first name and Dad got middle name: Casperella Ursula…YUK.
I’m pretty sure they were on some serious hallucinogens.
Thank god my 3 yr old sister was such a fan of the Grateful Dead song Casey Jones when my mom was around 7 months pregnant with me…so they went with Casey instead.
Amy says
My best friend in the entire world was almost named Muffy because her dad saw the name on a bathroom stall and thought it was a good idea. Thank goodness Patti overruled Chuck and my best friend is named Lauren instead. I don’t know if we would have even been friends if she were named Muffy.
Monica says
I was almost Rowena Anne named after both of my great grandmothers and Zebulun Micah if I was a boy. Then they decided on Monica and almost went for Amy as a middle name except my mom didn’t want MAG as my initials…although they settled for Serene as a middle name… apparently MSG is better! :(
Monica says
Oh thats funny, someone commented they were almost Athena Marie…so was my sister! But she was named after a Russian speedskater instead haha
Mallory P. says
In order of pure wtf:
I was almost Jerrica, or…Jerusha. Yikes.
My dad wanted to name my brother a combination of his dad’s and my mom’s dad’s names: William Jack. Bill Jack… Bil-Jac, the dog food? Double yikes.
My ex-sister-in-law, through an unfortunate turn of events, ended up naming my nephew Trapper to match her first son: Hunter. Hillbilly yikes.
And last but not least– my high school best friend had cousins named Sheriff, Marshall and Deputy. Infinite, infinite yikes.
Laura says
If my mom had been a boy, her name would have been Roy, after her dad. When she came out a girl, there was some initial discussion around sticking with the original intent and calling her Roylene. Luckily my grandma was able to squash that idea and everyone agreed on Susan.
Erin says
Mom and Dad were stumped with names for me, and so lovingly referred to me before I was born as “Julio” or “Juliette” (pronounced the “Hoo-lio” and “Hoo-liette” way). I think my mom had a thing for Julio Iglesias.
My grandmother rejected all of the names my mom picked out for me when she was pregnant, so to enact some revenge, she called my grandmother with “the perfect name” one day: Amber Mist. It was a perfume sample she got in the mail.
Thank goodness she happened upon “Erin” after watching The Laverne and Shirley Show! I’m glad she settled on Erin… I don’t think I could have pulled off Laverne…
Tasha B. says
My (half) brother’s dad was full Greek and he and my mom almost named my brother Demetrius George Zourkos. Nice. Is there anyone named Demetrius that’s not like a hundred years old? Maybe in Greece?
Ann-Marie says
As a Swede, I don’t find Lars all that humorous — I know quite a few of them — but Vector? Now that got me laughing! And thinking of the scene from Airplane: We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Erin J says
I knew a guy whose first name was Atom and middle name was Starbuck. Atom Starbuck M. What a name.
Traci says
My mother wanted to name me “Trixie”, after her fictional hero, Trixie Belden. The funny thing is, I became a massage therapist. Could you imagine the problems I would have had with the name “Trixie”? LOL….. Thank goodness my relatives talked her out of it!
Her alternate was “Daphne”. She wound up naming the cat Daphne, instead.
Julane says
My dad tried the whole “Angus”, “Fergus”, etc. thing when my youngest brother was born. Thankfully, Mom & us kids out-numbered him. :-) HA!
Rena' says
My parents were going to name me Andrew Reece until I came out a girl.
Emily says
My parents wanted to name me Bunny. With my last name, that’s exotic dancer territory at the very least.
But I can do better. My mother almost named my older brother Lord. As in, the Lord. Luckily she went with Nathan.
But my sister’s middle name is “Shaloha.” Yes, that’s Shalom and Aloha. And my sister’s never even been to Hawaii.
When my mom was pregnant with her, there was about a minute and a half when she thought she was pregnant with twin boys. She wanted to name them Ethan and Eli. Nothing wrong with that, right? Except she already had two sons named Nathan and Levi. Imagine calling Ethan, Nathan, Eli, and Levi in for dinner.
Lisa says
I was the first girl born into my dad’s family in nearly 50 years. My mom was so convinced she was going to have a boy she had only picked a boy’s name – Peter Craig.
I went about a week as “hey you!” until at last I was named Lisa, apparently the same name as the new baby girl who was born to my mom’s hospital roommate. No wonder I was one of 6 Lisa’s in my grade six home room! LOL
Pink Sun Drops says
The funny thing is Gina and Lars sounds perfect together.
Ingrid says
I am Swedish, too, and my four brothers’ names are Eric, Karl, LARS, and Sven. Lars is a normal-sounding name to all of us, and my brother, Eric, named one of his boys “Lars,” too!
April says
My husband was *thisclose* to being named Rocky Road [last name]. No joke!
And they decided to change it NOT because it’s an ice cream (they saw no problem there), but because with a name like “Rocky” they were worried he’d get into fistfights at school.
Really???
He ended up with Dusty Clay. At least it can pass for normal. :)
Allison says
John totes looks like a Lars!
Skye says
My Dad wanted to name me Magic. Yeah, glad my mom vetoed that one. Skye is still pretty unique, but so much nicer than Magic. LOL My sister’s name is Teara, pronounced teer-ah. My mom didn’t veto that one, and I can’t imagine her as anything else.
Melanie Beth says
My husband’s name is Aaron Ernest …when he was born, his parent were 100% sure they were having a girl so they had planned on naming him Jenny (not Jennifer, but Jenny, after the plane). When he was born and they realized it was a boy, his dad’s brilliant idea was to name him Ignatius and call him Iggy for short…. and in his words the reason he wanted to do this was because he “thought it would be funny”! Needless to say, his mom fought it and pulled out a baby name book and went with the first name on the list: Aaron. For months after we found this out my sister and I called him Iggy Ernie!
Kaz in Oz says
I was going to be Paul Anthony, my sister was going to be Paul Anthony. Lucky for my brother he’s Paul Anthony, not Angenette Susan (sure Mum made that one up!).
Jamara says
I was almost Journee Luna, as in journey to the moon. I ended up with Jamara Lauren (pronounced like the boys name Jamar with an ‘uh’ at the end and La-wren, not Low-wren.) So instead of being journey to the moon I have a first name with no meaning and a middle name meaning crowned with Laurel. Okay then…
Emily says
My dad was convinced I was going to be a boy, and started to joke about naming me Clark Kent [lastname]. Then he decided he liked it. I’m very glad I’m a girl, I would have been in so many playground fights as a kid with a name like Clark Kent!
joy says
My dad really wanted to name me Prudence, and call me Prudy for short. I actually did a speech about this fact in college under the direction of the quote a rose by any other name… since my mom named me Joy and I feel the pressure to always be happy, Prudence would of given me another hassle.
allison @ thesundayflog says
my mom wanted italian names – marcella (pronounced mar-chella), gabriela, and alessandra. i love all of those names, but my dad thought they sounded too ethnic. they went with jessica, lauren, and allison instead. boo. i would still be called ali if i were named alessandra!
also, my boyfriend has a good friend who is named jet (and his siblings are titan, star, and skye). he’s also set on naming a future son TROY. i could cry thinking about it haha
Meredith says
On the subject of names, I know a little boy named Yoda and his sister’s name is Pharoah. And I have a friend who’s nephew’s name is Captain Friday. Seriously folks these are real kids out there, not fantasy book characters as one might guess.
jess says
My super manly husband was almost named Leonard Lords. Dear heavens. Their final choice? Jessie James. A bit more appropriate, but still funny. Alliteration was apparently key in their name choices, as they went on to name everyone els things that start with the letter J…
Lulu says
Ahhh, that Vector thing cracks me up! I was >thisclose< to being named Butch, after my dad's deceased brother's nickname. Their heart was in the right place, but still- a girl named Butch? Lovely.
Augsburg Madine says
When born I came out a kind of reddy brown colour – I was almost called Rusty
Linnea says
i don’t think lars is that bad! its a great swedish name and he looks like a lars! vector on the other hand…
Sarah R. says
My mom had my name picked out long before she and my dad even met, but she says they considered Emily and Nora (I was born on my step-grandmother, Norma’s, birthday).
When I was being bratty (which was rare, I’m sure), Mom used to threaten to take me to the court house to have my name changed to Flossie Gertrude, in honor of my grandmother and some other old, dead relative. Yep, my grandma’s name was Flossie, although she only went by her middle name, Marie. Who could blame her?
Andrea says
I was meant to be “Constance Patience.” Oh the horror! I would have ended up with a nickname like “X-Lax” or something. Luckily I ended up with Andrea Faye. Andi for short.
Jade Travers says
My mum always wanted Jade (after miss Jagger) but her best friend was Jamaican and wanted my mum to name me after her… her name was Bonita, this means pretty in portuguese, which is what my dad’s family is… the grief I would have gotten at a kid would have been unbearable…
My lanky, six foot, casper like hubsand would have been either Tyrone or Densel (good old fashion Irish names)… hehehe Tyrone and Bonita Travers… too funny…
brita says
If I had been born a few hours later I would have been born on Easter and my parents would have named me Esther Bunny. They’re both family names. I mean Brita isn’t much better but there wasn’t a water filter around when they named me.
Jessica says
I know a family (American with Swedish roots) with kids named: Alex (boy), Sigrid (girl), Nils (boy), and Lars (boy). I also grew up with a family of four boys: Tyson, Braxton, Conrad, and Chad (poor Chad and his normal name). Not to mention the bratty girl Autumn Golden, or the kid with the hippy parents, Roland Stone (get it? Rollin’ Stones?). And I used to think my siblings and I had it bad (Juliet, Jennifer, Jessica, and Jaime).