When we’re painting we talk about all sorts of weird things that we probably wouldn’t otherwise get around to. And while painting the bedroom we got to the topic of “names that our parents almost gave us.” Get this. My mom wanted to name me Gina. We would have been John & Gina. That made us titter. Not sure if it’s a had to be there thing though. Either way, John’s dad’s choice of names takes the cake. He wanted to name John… wait for it… Lars.
Lars Petersik.
How funny is that? If I had seen tall dirty blond John at work and asked a coworker “oh who’s that?” and heard them respond with ” that’s Lars Petersik, he’s an account manager.” Let’s just say I would have been all “niiiiice to meeeeeeet you Laaaaars” with that over-enunciated-because-I’m-not-sure-you’re-great-at-deciphering-super-speedy-NY-talkers connotation. The same long drawn out delivery I use with my only-speaks-Italian grandmother. It would have been hysterical. John probably never would have let me live it down. Or asked me to marry him a year-ish later.
But that’s not all. Apparently John’s dad also wanted to name John “Vector.” Because he liked math. How I was able to continue painting with tears of laughter streaming down my face is beyond me. So it got us wondering what you guys were almost named. Come on… someone out there can beat Vector and Lars, right?
ColeyB says
My husband, Brandon, would have been a Petunia or a Pansy if he was a girl, so my MIL says…thank God that he was a boy!
Lana says
My parents almost named my older sister Yolanda Lee. Thank goodness they came to their senses and named her Lisa. And, thankfully they didn’t save that name for me!
Bree says
My parents almost named me Whitney but I came out and they immediately ditched it. Only after spending more time pouring through the name book while calling me every name they could think of, they decided on Breeanne. My sister’s story is the best though, because my mom wanted to name her Wendy. Then she would have had Breezy and Wendy. har har, mom.
Lili says
My parents were going to name me Kelly Green, I kid you not. But in the end, they saved me from that fate, and tossed me into another- they chose to give me the family last name instead of my grandmothers passed on to dads last name. Because of the last name change, I became Lalaith, which is an elvin princess in a JRR Tolkien book, and in elvish, means “river of laughter”. However, since no one can correctly pronounce it, I have gone by Lili my whole life.
I would have felt pretty dorky being named after a color, but I officially take the cake when I tell people I am names after an elvin princess.
laxsupermom says
I’ve spent the last 2 weeks watching Despicable Me(6yo received it from his aunt for Christmas) Vector made me laugh out loud and snort a little(he’s the hero villain’s villain.) I was named Mark before I was born. At birth my parents found out I didn’t have the “parts” to be named Mark. They tell me the nurse named me.
kristin roberts says
My fiance’s name is Chad Thomas Pazdernik. And before he was born his grandpa tried to pay off his mom to name him..Boris Ludwig(pronounced Lewd-vig) Pazdernik. I told my dad this and he almost died laughing. “Dad, I would like you to meet my boyfriend, Boris.” Haha!
Angela says
My husband’s (and now my) last name is Still. Back when she was pregnant with him, my MIL liked to tell people she would use Beatrice for a girl and Stanley for a boy. As in Be Still and Stan[d] Still. Thank goodness she went with John instead!
To carry on the (proud?) tradition, though, I will occasionally tell people that I plan to name any future male kiddos Holden. Meanwhile, my husband likes to tell people that there is a Chevy Chase Still in our future.
Abby C. says
I was almost Hillary, which is only funny in the context that my initials would be H.R.C – as in Hillary Rodham Clinton!
My fiance’s last name is Jacob. I have banned Jacob as a potential son’s name choice forever, as I actually know someone named Steve Stephens.
John could have ended up Peter Petersik!
Relevant Notes says
My parents asked me what I wanted to name my twin brothers, and my three-year-old self decided Chip and Dale would be perfect. Luckily my parents weren’t serious on taking my input!
Nicole says
I might have a winner. Over dinner and drinks one night my father and godfather decided on the name Spacey Bon-Bon, somehow inspired by their waitress, Stacey. They claim it was a joke… kind of. Luckily for me, my mom squashed that idea quickly.
SShaw says
I like unique names. Pretty funny though that they started with ‘Lars’ & ‘Vector’ but landed on ‘John.’
Mary-Kathryn says
I don’t know if I can beat Lars or Vector…but if I had been a boy, my father wanted to name me Virgil Alside (*shrudders*). I think my mom would have vetoed that one though!
My parents were going to name me Hannah, which I would have much prefered over my given name! SO much easier–heck, you can spell Hannah backwards and it’s still spelled correctly! Instead, I’m stuck with an easily misspelled, double first name! Sigh. A warning to parents out there–keep it simple!
Alice says
I was going to be Benjamin if I was a boy – I don’t really think that would suit me. Their second choice for girl was Hillary, but I’m so glad they went with my name :)
Chelsey says
Ok, I have some good ones… The first name my mom came up with to name me was “Pepsi Michelle”. Yea, you know, like the soft drink? Funny thing, my mom is a Coke drinker…
Anywho… My mom also LOVES to combine names & make new ones. She & my dad had finally decided on the names Chelsey (from mom) and Desiree (from dad), but they both wanted the name they picked as my first name. So my mom says, “How about Chesiree?” Dad goes, “Um, no. Chelsey Desiree it is.” Ha!
Oh, and my poor little brother… As more proof of the combo-name thing, mom & my step dad decided on Dreyson; a mix of Drake & Jason.
Leah says
In true southern style, I was nearly named Lizzie Dahlia.
Oh geez. Rolling my eyes at the thought of it!
Simon says
My name is Simon, and my mom was just slightly considering naming my brother Garfunkel. The good fortune that’s my dad intervened, spared him, and he became Dustin instead. =]
heather says
My dad really wanted to name me nellie buns or heatherpooh (yes, all one word). Luckily my mom won & they named me heather lynne
Courtney says
I never comment…ever. But this was to good to pass up. My dearest darling father wanted to name me…Ursula…as in the evil sea witch. Granted that movie hadn’t come out yet, but do you understand the amout of teasing that would have ensued had I been named URSULA?! He then put his awesome naming skills to work again on my younger brother. Cleatus. He was serious. We grew up in Louisiana and he wanted to name my brother Cleatus. Thankfully my (sane) mother said I don’t think so and we got normal names. Courtney and John :)
Kristin says
My dad wanted to name me after both of my grandmothers, I would’ve been Julie June – thank goodness my mother vetoed that!
Jessica says
I know of a Cornelius who could have been a Zebulun. Oof.
Mandy says
My Boyfriend’s name is JB (for James Bostwick). The Bostwick is from his Grandmother’s maiden name. However, they initially wanted to name him after his great uncle, which would have been… wait for it…
TUFFLE SYLVESTER
Can you imagine elemenary school with a name like that? Thankfully, they changed their minds at the last minute, but I occasionally call him Tuffy just for fun :)
As for me, my mom wanted to name me either Rachel or Scarlett, and my Dad wanted Amanda. Even though my classes were crowded with Amandas (which is why I go by Mandy now) I’m glad he won!
Karrie says
Haha! I love knowing the almost names. If I was a boy, I was to be named Barry Dale–I’m so thankful that didn’t work out. And my Mom was thisclose to naming me Natalie, which is a name I love and was a little upset when I first heard she passed on it but as it happens, over time I’ve become quite fond of my name. My little sister on the other hand got the exotic name of Natasha (trust me, it was super exotic in a small Tennessee town) but my Dad was pushing for her to be named Priscilla. I just cannot imagine her named that!
Katie says
Nothing bizarre in our family, however, my friend’s brother-in-law was allowed to name his new baby brother (her hubs). So he is a Christopher Robin, yup, just like in Winnie the Pooh.
Christine says
I was almost named Antanetta after my Italian great-grandmother.
Oh get this. If my older brother had been a girl, his name would be Andrea. If I’d been a boy, I would be Timothy. My husband’s name is Timothy and his older sister is Andrea. Weird!
Carol N. says
When I complain about my first name, my mom always says I could have been named after my grandmothers…Caldonia LaMon. Um, no thanks.
Christy says
I know they seem funny and weird to you since you’ve always been John & Sherry, but I think you both look like Lars & Gina.
Meghan says
My husband wants to name our daughter (who is due in 3.5 weeks) Bosafina….. the only thing worse is that if it had been a boy he wanted Boseefuss. Just this morning he decided he wanted to name her “Spoonie”…. uh huh… enough said!!! Don’t you worry she’s going to be a Norah or a Charlotte (haven’t decided which is better just yet). My husband tells EVERYONE that she is going to be Bosafina and I get these wierded out looks!
Melle says
My parents wanted to name me Vanessa Dawn until one day they were discussing initials and realized that mine would be VD! Thanks goodness they decided not to name me after a sexually transmitted disease!
Kate says
Mine’s really boring. The only other name my parents had picked out was Matthew for if I was a boy.
Though my parents did joke that they could give me a name that runs in my mom’s family – Caleb. In 1984, it seemed like the most cruel name they could come up with. Now it’s one of the most popular!
Holly says
If I had been a boy, my parents would have named me Finn Solheim… doesn’t get more Norwegian than that.
Ashley says
My Dad is a chemist so his top picks for me and my twin brother were Beryllium and Boron. Thankfully my Mom stepped in on that one!
Corinne says
My name knew from day one that I was going to be a girl, so she never bothered with deciding on any boys’ names. She didn’t quite have the perfect name for me until she and my grandfather were watching a show called Soap. He commented on how beautiful the character Corinne was….and tada! That was my name!
The only thing embarassing was when I told that story to a college professor of mine. He looked at me and said “I remember that show….she was a slut!”
Beth says
I would have been Russel had I been a boy. Ew. Oddly, my name is only Beth. Not Elizabeth. My dad didn’t like Elizabeth. But I have some people call me that, because they think they know. And then my husband went and set up my email account as Bethany. I have no idea why, to this day. But I’m still using it, 14 years later.
Also, when I was prego with our first born son, my husband threw out three names he liked: Froedrick, Schlomo, and Wolfgang. How’s that for crazy?? Fortunately, I won, and we named him Benjamin.
Kate says
Oh goodness. My husband suggested “Vector” to me a few months ago. He is a chemical engineer…something to do with one of his physics classes. The other name (in case we have twins, you know)…”Scalor”. I may be done with procreating.
Patricialynn says
I wasn’t destined to get a funny name, but there IS a funny story behind my middle name, Lynn. My grandfather (who was a decorated Marine) was saddled with the first name “Lynn” because it was a “family name”. He hated it and demanded that he be called by his middle name, Samuel. Since he was a husky muscular kid, most of his classmates didn’t argue!
Grandpa had eight kids, and each of his children gave their first-born the middle name Lynn. That’s all well and good for myself, and my female cousins….but cousins Mike and Joseph aren’t too happy about it!
Erin says
I’m a teacher and have a student in my class named Kash Wallet
Corrie M. says
My best friend’s brother’s name is…..wait for it….Lars Larson. No lie. They almost named her Lara. Lara & Lars Larson.
Kate says
Oh, and my married name is Matthews. My husband is Chris, so we joke that he’s famous. His parents joke that they should have named him Matthew Matthews.
I’ve also decided that if we someday have a boy, we can not name him after my dad. I’m not naming my kid Dave Matthews, haha!
Angela says
My “oh-so-funny” dad wanted to name me Candice. Not a bad name on it’s own. With my maiden name, however, it would have been awful. Candice Apple. Common nickname for Candice? Candy. Candy Apple? Yikes. Hooker name much? Thank god mom won that battle. Growing up, having Apple as a last name was hard enough! So glad I didn’t have to deal with the first name as well.
kal says
My cousin was supposed to be Nazanzian, luckily my grandmother intervened.
khickman says
I know this a G-rated blog, but no lie, I used to know someone who’s name after she got married was Chu Cox. Honest to God.
Sara says
I was named after my great grandmother, Sara Temple. But if my aunt had chosen to name my older cousin “Sara” I would have been Temple Scott, with the intention of calling me Scotty. I used to think that was the coolest thing ever and got mad at my parents for not picking that instead. I think I’ll stick with Sara though.
Erin says
My grandma pushed my parents and all of my aunts and uncles to name their child Charles if they had a boy. Why you ask? She wanted to call the poor kid Chip.
Kellie says
My mom considered the first name Bernice for me since she thought it would be cute to call me Bernie. According to babycenter, Bernice was most popular in 1937 when it was #857 on the list of most popular names… for boys. I was born in 1985. She also considered naming me Ikuko after my grandmother but my dad veto’d that one. Thank goodness she went with Kellie but I still got stuck with Kaleonani as a middle name.
Wendy says
If I was a boy, my dad wanted to name me Joey. Not Joseph, not Joe. Joey. My mom tried her hardest to explain to him that I could be named Joseph and called Joey, but he was adamant. Thankfully, I was not born a boy!!
AJ says
My Mom wanted to name me Oma Lee after her Grandma. Thank goodness for a sister and father that said “NO WAY!”
Joyce says
I know you are changing your writing style but so many posts lately seem like filler. Your names/a pic of boxes in a room/your christmas ‘what were we thinking post’/etc. I love the house projects, money posts, etc. but these just seem like you are posting just to post.
Cheri @ I Heart Old Houses says
My last name’s March, and my dad thought it would be hilarious to name me April May…he had this idea that when a teacher called my name on the first day of class, she’d be like, “March? April May?” Gee, thanks Dad! Fortunately my mom was kind enough to veto that one.
Paige says
I don’t know what my “backup” female name would’ve been, but if I’d been a boy I would’ve been Alexander, Alex for short. Kinda boring compared to the other stuff in here!
Kate says
I was almost Michael, but that’s not unique.
My cousin was almost named Raven… but they settled on Celine Jewel instead.